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The Absolutely True Story That Actually Really Happened to Me of My Life

Last posted Jun 28, 2012 at 02:47PM EDT. Added Jun 26, 2012 at 09:50AM EDT
14 posts from 10 users

Fantastic…marvelous…disgusting… and a divinely truthful message at the end of the story. Sir I applaud you.

Everyone: Don’t TL;DR this. You want to read it

Last edited Jun 26, 2012 at 10:02AM EDT
Jun 26, 2012 at 10:01AM EDT
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Blue Screen (of Death) wrote:

Fantastic…marvelous…disgusting… and a divinely truthful message at the end of the story. Sir I applaud you.

Everyone: Don’t TL;DR this. You want to read it

Jun 26, 2012 at 10:18AM EDT
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量子 Meme wrote:

Yes I said it, hell to be completely honest; It’s the truth.

So I ask: Why does it happen when I find no sexual things in it but yet I some how get arousal.
I am not joking what so ever.

Hate me for posting it if you like I can give less of a flying fuck anymore.

Last edited Jun 26, 2012 at 10:51AM EDT
Jun 26, 2012 at 10:48AM EDT
Quote

Ric Tesla wrote:

Yes I said it, hell to be completely honest; It’s the truth.

So I ask: Why does it happen when I find no sexual things in it but yet I some how get arousal.
I am not joking what so ever.

Hate me for posting it if you like I can give less of a flying fuck anymore.

I’m going to sit my science out for this one.

Jun 26, 2012 at 10:49AM EDT
Quote

Ric Tesla wrote:

Yes I said it, hell to be completely honest; It’s the truth.

So I ask: Why does it happen when I find no sexual things in it but yet I some how get arousal.
I am not joking what so ever.

Hate me for posting it if you like I can give less of a flying fuck anymore.

Uh…what?

Jun 26, 2012 at 11:30AM EDT
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@Ric

Good lord man, what has that shipping thread done to you!?

Hehe, I’m kidding. You sure you just didn’t get a Narb? (No apparent reason boner, they get triggered by pants pressure while sitting down)

Last edited Jun 26, 2012 at 11:40AM EDT
Jun 26, 2012 at 11:39AM EDT
Quote

Ric Tesla wrote:

Yes I said it, hell to be completely honest; It’s the truth.

So I ask: Why does it happen when I find no sexual things in it but yet I some how get arousal.
I am not joking what so ever.

Hate me for posting it if you like I can give less of a flying fuck anymore.

On a side-note…
I sorta need to poop now.

Jun 26, 2012 at 11:42AM EDT

That reminds me of the one time I made a shit that was so ridiculously large and tough that after flushing about 7 times, pouring cleanser and drain cleaner on it, and yelling at it I made a 4chan thread asking for help with it pics and all.
Of course it was such a long thread it got to auto saging level(it stopped being bumped) and I ended up molding a wire hanger into a drill shape and creating holes in the massive log of sin. I learned several things that day:
~/b/ likes to talk about shit in the most literal of ways.
~/b/ is filled with guys who take a shit like that twice a day(the man who gave the winning suggestion apparently keeps a bucket of wire hangars next to his toilet).
~drugs of even recreational purposes tend to harden your shits(I was told this by about half the commentators).
~If you are lactose-intolerant, eating 2 entire cheese pizzas and then having some chocolate cake isn’t going to give you anything enjoyable to experience later on down the road.

Last edited Jun 28, 2012 at 11:50AM EDT
Jun 28, 2012 at 11:47AM EDT
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That story was so beautiful, it reduced me to tears.

bravo good sir.
bravo.

Last edited Jun 28, 2012 at 02:48PM EDT
Jun 28, 2012 at 02:47PM EDT
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Skeletor-sm

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