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Someone punches your cat in the face What do you do?

Last posted Jul 30, 2012 at 10:12PM EDT. Added Jul 28, 2012 at 01:04PM EDT
35 posts from 27 users

In the room where you and another man are standing, the man punches your cat in the face. Around you are the following items:

1. A 48 inch metal pole

2. 3,000 yards of Duct Tape

3. 1 blowtorch with 20 gallons of fuel

4. 12 Bamboo skewers

5. A hot glue gun, with 8 glue stick cartridges

6. A power outlet

What do you do to the man whom punched your cat? Be creative. Details are necessary.

Jul 28, 2012 at 01:04PM EDT
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Well, I can put that 48 inch metal pole to use…

Last edited Jul 28, 2012 at 01:07PM EDT
Jul 28, 2012 at 01:07PM EDT
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I don’t have a cat. The man just punched nothing.

Promptly attach the blowtorch to the steel pipe using the duct tape, and beatburn him for being a complete dumbfuck.

Jul 28, 2012 at 01:10PM EDT
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Ask the man to leave, period. Depending upon how well I know him, I’d ask him why. He wouldn’t have a good reason for it, so I’d either report him to the authorities or not speak to him for a very long time.

The items are irrelevant, because using them would likely get me sent to jail.

Jul 28, 2012 at 01:10PM EDT

Verbose wrote:

Ask the man to leave, period. Depending upon how well I know him, I’d ask him why. He wouldn’t have a good reason for it, so I’d either report him to the authorities or not speak to him for a very long time.

The items are irrelevant, because using them would likely get me sent to jail.

Not if you hide the body.

Jul 28, 2012 at 01:12PM EDT
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Take the glue gun, bamboo, and duct tape and invite the man to engage in arts and crafts with me. I’m sure there is some sort of misunderstanding.

Jul 28, 2012 at 01:19PM EDT
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I’d put duct tape onto the torch and attach it to his face, then activate the torch.

I’d make him into a flag with the pole.

I’d skew him with the bamboo.

I’d hot glue his eyes and mouth shut.

I’d glue a penny to his finger and put the penny in the outlet.

Jul 28, 2012 at 01:20PM EDT
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Heavy Weapons wrote:

I’d put duct tape onto the torch and attach it to his face, then activate the torch.

I’d make him into a flag with the pole.

I’d skew him with the bamboo.

I’d hot glue his eyes and mouth shut.

I’d glue a penny to his finger and put the penny in the outlet.

Overkill much?

Jul 28, 2012 at 01:54PM EDT

I would ask him why he punched my cat, and then ridicule him for having a prejudice against cats. Then I’d charge my laptop with the power outlet and cook marshmellows on the blowtorch.

Jul 28, 2012 at 02:20PM EDT
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Me and my cat would have dinner together.
IN MY HOUSE.

Jul 28, 2012 at 02:25PM EDT
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Le Bumpkin wrote:

In the room where you and another man are standing, the man punches your cat in the face. Around you are the following items:

1. A 48 inch metal pole

2. 3,000 yards of Duct Tape

3. 1 blowtorch with 20 gallons of fuel

4. 12 Bamboo skewers

5. A hot glue gun, with 8 glue stick cartridges

6. A power outlet

What do you do to the man whom punched your cat? Be creative. Details are necessary.

I ask the man if he knows where this strange array of items came from.

Jul 28, 2012 at 04:04PM EDT
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What if i don’t have a cat…

Jul 29, 2012 at 12:12AM EDT

I’d stop that punch before it even came close to hitting my cat even if I had to take it myself. That shit isn’t happening.

Jul 29, 2012 at 12:26AM EDT
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Double wrote:

Someone punches my cat in the face?

All my feels, bro. All my feels.

Jul 29, 2012 at 01:03AM EDT
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Nothing really, he must have had a good reason for it.

Jul 29, 2012 at 03:11AM EDT
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Verbose wrote:

Ask the man to leave, period. Depending upon how well I know him, I’d ask him why. He wouldn’t have a good reason for it, so I’d either report him to the authorities or not speak to him for a very long time.

The items are irrelevant, because using them would likely get me sent to jail.

>Internet

>“Be creative”

>Goes ahead and becomes serious instead

>Verbose™

Jul 29, 2012 at 03:57AM EDT
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If it’s my older cat, I’ll tell him to stop that.
If it’s my youngest…
That 48 inch metal pole is going to be bloody and bent.
No one touches the cat I saved, raised and love.

Jul 29, 2012 at 04:13AM EDT
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Lich wrote:

If it’s my older cat, I’ll tell him to stop that.
If it’s my youngest…
That 48 inch metal pole is going to be bloody and bent.
No one touches the cat I saved, raised and love.

pokes the cat you saved, raised and love

Jul 29, 2012 at 06:29AM EDT

First I’d punch him and then restrain him using the duct tape. Then I’d force him to drink 10 of 20 gallons of the fuel I have. Next thing to do is take him to a secluded place and impale him in the stomach with the 48 inch metal pole and watch the fuel leak out of him. Then I’ll use 5 of the remaining gallons to make a trail from else where. After I finish making the trail, I’ll release him but won’t remove the pole which is still in his stomach. His arms will still be restrained but his legs will be free to move. I’ll let him run away until he is far enough from me so I could use the blow torch and set fire to the trail. The fire will follow the trail I made and the trail made from the fuel leaking out of his body. I’ll sit back and watch him run thinking he’ll escape. Then the fire will catch up and torch him. No one touches my pets. No one.

Jul 29, 2012 at 11:35AM EDT
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I think the best punishment for a cat puncher is duct taping a cat picture to his back when he’s not looking, that’ll show ’em!

Jul 29, 2012 at 11:46AM EDT
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量子 Meme wrote:

>Internet

>“Be creative”

>Goes ahead and becomes serious instead

>Verbose™

>Thinks I’m serious user
>ishogarsdogars
>M. Night Shyamalan dis beeytch

#forcingmemesisntcool

Jul 29, 2012 at 11:56AM EDT

Verbose wrote:

>Thinks I’m serious user
>ishogarsdogars
>M. Night Shyamalan dis beeytch

#forcingmemesisntcool

That’s probably the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen you type.

Jul 29, 2012 at 12:30PM EDT
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NOBODY PUNCHES MY NINJA BEAR!
I stick the glue down his throat and melt all sticks down his throat. Let it melt his throat off.
Then, I use the pole to beat the $#!7 out of him. Take the Duct Tape and wrap his whole body.
Hide the body

Jul 30, 2012 at 12:31AM EDT
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Punched my cat?, wrong move, faggot

First I park my car, then I fuck his bitch, then shit gets real. I take the 48 inch pole, shove it all the way up his cat punching ass through his mouth. He’s screaming, like a bitch. I say some clever ass fucking shit like, I CAN’T HEAR YOU WITH THAT POLE IN YOUR ASS HOLE, FAAAAGGGOT.

Are you ready for this? Because it’s time for some technical shit

I tape up the bottom of the 48 inch pole (the part coming out of his fagget asshole). Then I light the 12 bamboo sticks on fire, I drop them down the hole of the metal I haven’t sealed shut (the side with his motherfucking cock sucking fagget mouth) Now we have a the bamboo torches sitting in the metal pole, slowly and excruciatingly heating up the pole. At first it burns his insides, I am currently putting his FAGGOT BITCH COCK into the power outlet to work as a handmade defibrillator, keeping him barely alive. The pole now melts into his body (It’s been like 10 years).

THAT’S FUCKING RIGHT H8TR BIIITCH, WHILE YOUR FAGGET ASS IS SAYING UNCREATIVE SHIT I’M CHANGING THE TORTURE GAME

I now have a ass ton of hot glue, so I sit around thinking what the fuck am I suss posed to do with this. By now my cat is full grown, get ready for some m. night shamala level twist

MY CAT IS A MOTHER FUCKING QUEER BASHING COUGAR

But not like a cougar like your MOM, like a puma, that fucks little kids and all the perks.

So while I’m Defibulating this dudes pencil dick I turn to my puma and psychopathically say to him.

chop this phaggggggggot up

My puma agrees in george lopez’s voice. The dude gets chopped up. I use the super glue to glue him back together, mixed and matched of course. By now the police have busted in and said “your under arrest for murder because were faggots ADuuurRR” Then I was like “He punch my cat” and they were like “Oh, your fine then.” then I was like “so get the fuck out of my domicile” and they were all sucking my dick and I was all fucking there hot vaginas. My cat even joined in and started fucking them with his puma dick. Then everyone jizzed the end

EXCEPT FUCKING NOT, seriously phaggots, there is way more to the fucking story, stop fucking doubting me, i will fucking stab you, for real. like, fucking, FOR REAL. Seriously, faggot, I know where you fucking live

He’s dead now. WHAT WILL I DO. Phych fraggogot, Am I princess cel*ass*tia, cause I fucking gotcha_, cause I already know what to do. I Fullmetal Alchemist soul bondPage this dude to his mixed up body. Since he’s just a soul attached to that glued body now, he can’t die.

So I publish this as the greatest piece of art ever. Like seriously, it’s so fucking good My puma fucks the moan e liza with his puma cock

So I make like a sextillion dollars/yen/prussianfrank/whogivesashit/mypumagivesashitallthetime.

Than this bitch is like. “Please donate your money to cancer and world peace and all this energy shit ADuuuUR ImFuCkInGAdUmB CUNT” So I’m all “No bitch” and I slap her into the kitchen.

Then she rides my puma’s fat puma fucking cock (whilst I’m riding my puma) in till she splits in half and gets every one in the art museum covered in puma cum. Then I make another 69-agillion dollhiars for being the greatest artist of all time and making another great piece.

So I take this Ass load of puma jizz stack of cash and donate it to the “STOP FAGGOTS FROM PUNCHING CATS TOMARROW, TOMMAROW: FOUNDATION

Yeah bitch thats right. Your sitting there sucking your own dick and I’m making a fucking difference

#YOLO

Last edited Jul 30, 2012 at 02:13AM EDT
Jul 30, 2012 at 02:08AM EDT
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Trash Boat is (spoiler) W.W. wrote:

Punched my cat?, wrong move, faggot

First I park my car, then I fuck his bitch, then shit gets real. I take the 48 inch pole, shove it all the way up his cat punching ass through his mouth. He’s screaming, like a bitch. I say some clever ass fucking shit like, I CAN’T HEAR YOU WITH THAT POLE IN YOUR ASS HOLE, FAAAAGGGOT.

Are you ready for this? Because it’s time for some technical shit

I tape up the bottom of the 48 inch pole (the part coming out of his fagget asshole). Then I light the 12 bamboo sticks on fire, I drop them down the hole of the metal I haven’t sealed shut (the side with his motherfucking cock sucking fagget mouth) Now we have a the bamboo torches sitting in the metal pole, slowly and excruciatingly heating up the pole. At first it burns his insides, I am currently putting his FAGGOT BITCH COCK into the power outlet to work as a handmade defibrillator, keeping him barely alive. The pole now melts into his body (It’s been like 10 years).

THAT’S FUCKING RIGHT H8TR BIIITCH, WHILE YOUR FAGGET ASS IS SAYING UNCREATIVE SHIT I’M CHANGING THE TORTURE GAME

I now have a ass ton of hot glue, so I sit around thinking what the fuck am I suss posed to do with this. By now my cat is full grown, get ready for some m. night shamala level twist

MY CAT IS A MOTHER FUCKING QUEER BASHING COUGAR

But not like a cougar like your MOM, like a puma, that fucks little kids and all the perks.

So while I’m Defibulating this dudes pencil dick I turn to my puma and psychopathically say to him.

chop this phaggggggggot up

My puma agrees in george lopez’s voice. The dude gets chopped up. I use the super glue to glue him back together, mixed and matched of course. By now the police have busted in and said “your under arrest for murder because were faggots ADuuurRR” Then I was like “He punch my cat” and they were like “Oh, your fine then.” then I was like “so get the fuck out of my domicile” and they were all sucking my dick and I was all fucking there hot vaginas. My cat even joined in and started fucking them with his puma dick. Then everyone jizzed the end

EXCEPT FUCKING NOT, seriously phaggots, there is way more to the fucking story, stop fucking doubting me, i will fucking stab you, for real. like, fucking, FOR REAL. Seriously, faggot, I know where you fucking live

He’s dead now. WHAT WILL I DO. Phych fraggogot, Am I princess cel*ass*tia, cause I fucking gotcha_, cause I already know what to do. I Fullmetal Alchemist soul bondPage this dude to his mixed up body. Since he’s just a soul attached to that glued body now, he can’t die.

So I publish this as the greatest piece of art ever. Like seriously, it’s so fucking good My puma fucks the moan e liza with his puma cock

So I make like a sextillion dollars/yen/prussianfrank/whogivesashit/mypumagivesashitallthetime.

Than this bitch is like. “Please donate your money to cancer and world peace and all this energy shit ADuuuUR ImFuCkInGAdUmB CUNT” So I’m all “No bitch” and I slap her into the kitchen.

Then she rides my puma’s fat puma fucking cock (whilst I’m riding my puma) in till she splits in half and gets every one in the art museum covered in puma cum. Then I make another 69-agillion dollhiars for being the greatest artist of all time and making another great piece.

So I take this Ass load of puma jizz stack of cash and donate it to the “STOP FAGGOTS FROM PUNCHING CATS TOMARROW, TOMMAROW: FOUNDATION

Yeah bitch thats right. Your sitting there sucking your own dick and I’m making a fucking difference

#YOLO

>YOLO
>YOLO??

Jul 30, 2012 at 10:00AM EDT
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Tie him/her naked to the floor and let my cat take his/her revenge.

Jul 30, 2012 at 11:23AM EDT
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I put 35 minutes of effort into my post, and got negative karma.
Incase you don’t understand, it’s making fun of copypasta, it’s not meant to be serious. Seeing how this is the “just for fun thread” I assumed having fun was just.

Jul 30, 2012 at 03:47PM EDT
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Le Bumpkin wrote:

In the room where you and another man are standing, the man punches your cat in the face. Around you are the following items:

1. A 48 inch metal pole

2. 3,000 yards of Duct Tape

3. 1 blowtorch with 20 gallons of fuel

4. 12 Bamboo skewers

5. A hot glue gun, with 8 glue stick cartridges

6. A power outlet

What do you do to the man whom punched your cat? Be creative. Details are necessary.

I would take the pole tape the bamboo skewers to it like a rake, cut the pipe down so its a bit shorter (around a foot), Duck tape to comfort the handle use the blowtorch to light the bamboo on fire then fire rake his face. while hes screaming take some of the pole ducktape a handle then electrocute it using the outlet then stick in up his butt and leave it there as i rake his face some more.

Jul 30, 2012 at 10:11PM EDT
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Skeletor-sm

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