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Hey Trojans,

Last posted Oct 18, 2012 at 05:18PM EDT. Added Oct 15, 2012 at 09:26PM EDT
23 posts from 17 users

My name is Odysseus, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day idolizing that stupid ass Hector. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any kills of the field of battle? I mean, I guess it’s fun watching Hector fuck shit up because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than eating six men who walked into your cave.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was king of Ithaca, and starter on my boxing team. What sports do you play, other than “sit inside my walled city and jack off”? I also shoot straight, and have a banging hot wife (She just gave birth to my son, Telemachus; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my wife.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Trojan Hoplites, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Athens, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top spearman in the entire Trojan armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me on a papyrus? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Greece and your ship is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Trojan Army and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Argonauts, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Skeleton Warriors, and I have over 3,000 confirmed kills. I am trained in melee and I’m the top swordsman in the entirety of Greece. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with strength the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Pantheon-net? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Argonauts across Greece and your hearth is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Greek military and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you Zeusdamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

-Jason

Edit: Damn it all to Hades, the cursed Trojan bested my speed.

Last edited Oct 15, 2012 at 09:38PM EDT

Explosive Lasers AKA Solaire AKA Sexiest wrote:

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Argonauts, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Skeleton Warriors, and I have over 3,000 confirmed kills. I am trained in melee and I’m the top swordsman in the entirety of Greece. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with strength the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Pantheon-net? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Argonauts across Greece and your hearth is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Greek military and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you Zeusdamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

-Jason

Edit: Damn it all to Hades, the cursed Trojan bested my speed.

You fucking stay out of this Jason, at least I was faithful to my lady.

Y’all peasants posting in a classics thread.
Quality thread, OP. Well done.

Btw, though, for the 20 years you’ve been away from home, I’ve been sleeping with your wife. Seriously. 20 years away from home. Because Helen couldn’t keep it in her pants.

MDFification wrote:

Y’all peasants posting in a classics thread.
Quality thread, OP. Well done.

Btw, though, for the 20 years you’ve been away from home, I’ve been sleeping with your wife. Seriously. 20 years away from home. Because Helen couldn’t keep it in her pants.

You probably wanna get away from Ithaca as fast as you can. It’s only a matter of time before a certain goddess helps a certain king back to his kingdom, and he’s gonna be pretty mad. Even though he’s been sleeping with a Nymph for the past ten years. The nerve of some people.

MDFification wrote:

Y’all peasants posting in a classics thread.
Quality thread, OP. Well done.

Btw, though, for the 20 years you’ve been away from home, I’ve been sleeping with your wife. Seriously. 20 years away from home. Because Helen couldn’t keep it in her pants.

You’ve gotten in Helen’s pants? Good job, man! It’s a shame you’ve mistaken her for my wife Penelope, though.


Listen here cum-sluts, I bet you 5 million drachma that you haven’t killed a bird. But guess what? I’ve killed more than 7. And I can tell you right now that a bird would never just be an easy opponent. They’ll probably kill you on the spot.

But say that you actually saw them.

Say they did actually come here in sight.

Those animals still probably made countless Stymphalians die.

Is that still funny to you? Do you still get your kicks out of knowing that the birds were probably killing countless people and that they were screaming in terror in that last vase?

And if you say yes then you seriously disgust me as a hellenistic being.

BalisticDerr wrote:


Listen here cum-sluts, I bet you 5 million drachma that you haven’t killed a bird. But guess what? I’ve killed more than 7. And I can tell you right now that a bird would never just be an easy opponent. They’ll probably kill you on the spot.

But say that you actually saw them.

Say they did actually come here in sight.

Those animals still probably made countless Stymphalians die.

Is that still funny to you? Do you still get your kicks out of knowing that the birds were probably killing countless people and that they were screaming in terror in that last vase?

And if you say yes then you seriously disgust me as a hellenistic being.

Well, we all know MDF’s a “Helen on his dick” being.


I’ll have you fucking know that my brethren & I been preventing unwanted pregnancies and the spread of STDs for almost 100 years. That’s right, 100 fucking years. Can you do either of those things, let alone for a whole century? I don’t fucking think so. So next time you just wanna have a good time with Penelope without having another child, you can remember how we had this little conversation and kiss that fucking opportunity goodbye.


    I apologize, it had to be done.
Skeletor-sm

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