I got some quotes that must be posted in a series.
I put a spoiler to save space.
“I regularly shit on the counter and dissect it with toothpicks.” -Witch King
“I regularly watch people shit on their counters and dissect the shit with toothpicks.” -RPP
“I spy on people shitting on their counters and picking at it. then i go and buy a hamster to eat.” -I Was Phone
“I spy on people who shit dissected hamsters onto counters.” -Alejandro
“I sell hamsters to people no questions asked.” -Slendy
“Sometimes I masturbate to the thought of people watching me shit on my counter and dissect it with toothpicks.” -Witch King
“I refill toothpicks at restaurants as a hobby. Apparently some guy named “Kasey R. Kay” has been using a lot of them at my local one.” -Piano
“Apparently, I can’t clean a motherfucking counter without someone shitting on them and dissecting their shit with tooth picks.” -The Frosty Lich
“Apparently, the people at my local restaurant are nice enough to leave chocolate on the counter for me, but it’s always got toothpicks stuck in it.” -Alejandro
“I investigate the brutal series of “shit murders” that occur at restaurant counters.” -Doctor Coolface
“I dig through people’s garbage in the hopes of finding shit covered toothpicks.” -Slendy
“Everytime I find that someone has dug through my garbage, I shit in my neighbors garbage.” -Witch King (again again)
“Whenever someone shits in my garbage, I throw an egg at a random person.” -Me
“I write anonymous love letters to the shit dissecting man whom I watch nearly every day, but I’m too embarrassed to send them so I just shit on his lawn and sit in his shrubbery waiting fir him to come outside and dissect it.” -RPP
“I mow my neighbor’s lawn for extra cash and I keep finding panda feces.
My neighbor doesn’t own a panda.
I think it’s a waste to throw it away so I take it to local restaurants and place it on the counters.” -Slendy
“I dissect my shit and report my findings to the National Association of Fecal studies for some extra dough to pay for all the lawn mowings I have to get because someone keeps dumping manure on my lawn.” -Witch King
You get the idea.