Forums / Fun! / Just For Fun

HHH Soldier needs a forever home

What to do first?
get a job
*beg to Merasmus
*another option? = make your own
(Best idea gets the cookie worst gets a gibus)

>Check out that toolbox

>get drunk with Demo

There you go

"The soldier opened the toolbox, he found three objects: A beer, a wrench and a stout shako"*

"Demoman and bombonomicon are leaving! who knows where they will fly to!"*
We got 3 objects and demo is leaving, what now?
beg to Merasmus
*Another option? = Make your own!

>Throw bottle at Merasmus

>Be Demopan
>Switch that Stout Shako into Two Refined using you're trade Powers

>Use the wrench to build a dispenser

>Start dispensing money

>go swimming

Wait a second. How does HHH Soldier have facial hair if he is homeless? Unless you say all homeless people have beards.

Otherwise,
>drink beer

"Homeless Hairless Hobo Soldier tried to switch classes..Too bad he was playing in Highlander mode. Despite this, he tried to use his hidden trade powers.."

The smell of trading and stout shako…REAL Demopan is here!
Now what?
Beg to Merasmus
*Another option? = Make your own!

(Since all the answers were good, nobody gets a gibus)

are you using gmod or sfm?

Your cookie image does not show up for me, I get a placeholder image from the host instead. Might be because I'm not in America

Anyway…

>Sell the Stout Shako but haggle him a bit, try and get one extra scrap

>Beat Demoman into submission, then get a good deal out of him

>steal everything from him and run away before he strangles you

>Ask for 2 refined

Cookies for Douglas and Blue Screen

"HHH Soldier traded with Demopan. His stout shako for Demo' refined metal"

"Can I eat this refined metal?" the soldier said to himself
Hungry and Homeless, the soldier asks:
I got a beer, a wrench and two refined metal. Now what?"
Beg to Merasmus
*Err..craft something?
**Another option? Make your own!

>Turn refined into 3 reclaimed
>Find black box
>Make cow mangler 5000

>Look behind you.
>See Engie looking worried.
>Ask if he lost something.
>If Wrench, suggest a trade.

Here! Have a cookie!

"I've lost my wrench and my sentry is gone!"
"You better check what I found!"

"Demopan flies, demoman flies, bombocrap flies, even Merasmus flies…Ahem, gentlemen! We CAN'T give this wrench for free don't you think?

Beg to Merasmus *(FOOLS, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY CHOOSE THIS OPTION! IT WILL BE YOUR DOOM!)
Trade the wrench for engie' hat
Another option? = Make your own!

>Trade wrench for hat.

>If the trade is goes well, you must share a kiss as gratitude for a successful exchange.

Heres your gibus, I hope you enjoy it

Good enough.

>Sell Wrench for the Engies hat

>Give Wrench to Engineer in exchange for a place to stay for a while.

After all, without his wrench, the Engi's life-work is done for.

Catch up to that Demopan! He's BLU! You must kill him!

Tanker, Blue Screen…you will have to share the same cookie

"HHH Soldier almost got a "H" of hatless but luckily he traded a wrench for Engie Hat"
"With the two refined metal and the beer inside the toolbox, soldier found a Red Heavy…"

"Pardon me soldier" This Heavy says. "Im afraid you are in my way!"

Alright maggots, almost every heavy looks like a retard but this one…errr
*Beg to Merasmus
*Ignore that moron
*Another option? = Make your..bla bla bla…you get the idea…

>Trade Big Chief for 1 or 2 refined

>Just beg to Merasmus already

DO IT FOOLS!I DARE YOU!

(Little tip here: You may want to rethink your choices and look closely at the picture. Keep in mind that we are trying to get a home for soldier, not hats, or even more cookies…)

Isn't merasmus dead?

err…A wizard did it- wait… facepalm
Let's just say this is non-cannon

>See if he's willing to trade anything for 2 refined.

The Big chief should go for that.
EDIT: WATCH OUT THAT HEAVY IS A SPY

>break bottle over heavy's head

From now on, you better look closely at every picture lads!
Back to HHH Soldier

"You are not Heavy!" The soldier cried
"Of course not!" said the spy

"Soldier, can you take care of him? Too busy with these blueprints."
Engineers are useless..back to business, as you can guess I got a black belt in hippie beating and drunken fighting…or maybe just the first one…Just bloody help me!

Fighting Spy:
*Beg to Merasmus
*Drop your pants and run
*Another option? = Make your own! (50% chance to get a unusual cookie)

> Pray to merasmus, for him to kill the spy with his magic.
OR:
>Finally notice that guy in the waterfall and ask him for help

>Soldier, use quick attack!

>Attack with bottle.

You can't just turn your back on a spy and run!

>Bottle that damn spy!

Whatever you do, don't let him facestab you.

You got an unusual Soldier Cookie! Congratulations!

"You sneaky bastard!" the soldier said!
And his first hit the Spy' head!

The engie cheers but this is just the beginning! Little time the spy has to recover! What should I?

*Beg to Merasmus
*Make your own option…

>Commence total beatdown.

>Steal his hood.

engage flashback

DO UNTO HIM WHAT HE HAS DONE TO YOU!!!

Im running out of cookies

THE SPY IS RUNNING AWAY

"Dont let him get away soldier! He will try to sap my sentry!"

The Spy is running away, soldier must:

*Beg to Merasmus
*Throw something? like…his hat
*Another option, make your own mate!

>Find the body of the RED heavy and steal his hat

I told you!

>DO UNTO HIM WHAT HE HAS DONE TO YOU!

>Throw the sentry at the spy

GIBUS! GIBUS! GIBUS FOR YOU CAP! AND GIBUS FOR YOU CREEPER! THIS PLEASES MERASMUS! A LOT!

Here's your cookie Karkat

The soldier threw the sentry at the spy, poor guy ended like a splattered pie!"

After a handshake, the Engie said: "I heard you dont have place to stay"

*F*ck you Merasmus! I'm getting a new roommate haha! But wait…Do I have something to do before I go with Engie?*

*Beg to Merasmus
*Nothing else to do there
*Make your own choice!

Little help from Bombinomicon here! Check the White Spot! and that's it…Oh and Engie will die unless you make the correct choice!