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Really Bad Puns

Last posted Jan 12, 2013 at 08:33PM EST. Added Jan 08, 2013 at 08:28PM EST
27 posts from 21 users

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.” “I don’t believe you,” says Dolly. “It’s true, no bull!” exclaims Daisy.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven, one said to the other: “man, it’s hot in here!” The other one responds: “Holy shit, a talking muffin”

This is my kind of thread!
A boy melon tries to propose a girl melon. The girl melon replies, “were too young, we cantaloupe!”
I lit some black powder once to see what happened. It was a blast.
Two muffins were in the oven. One said “sure is hot in here.” The other said “Fancy that, a talking muffin!” Edit: Ninja’d
This one’s kind of a riddle but, Suzy had three older sisters. They were named April, May, and June. What was the youngest sister’s name?

Last edited Jan 08, 2013 at 08:55PM EST

KI....D wrote:

This is my kind of thread!
A boy melon tries to propose a girl melon. The girl melon replies, “were too young, we cantaloupe!”
I lit some black powder once to see what happened. It was a blast.
Two muffins were in the oven. One said “sure is hot in here.” The other said “Fancy that, a talking muffin!” Edit: Ninja’d
This one’s kind of a riddle but, Suzy had three older sisters. They were named April, May, and June. What was the youngest sister’s name?

Is it Suzy?

I was gonna tell a gay joke, butt fuck it. I hate ’em anyways.

And that we’re on the topic of jokes, feel free to tell your own. But be warned. I won’t allow the following:

No gay jokes. You think they’re good, but they’re really a pain in the ass.
No handicapped jokes. I can’t stand those.
No 9/11. They’re just plane terrible.
No penis jokes. They’re usually too long.
No Nazi jokes. While they may be heilarious, most people will Nazi them coming, Anne Frankly, you should’t be surprised if they miss the joke.
No Mexican jokes. You might go over the border with those.
No black jokes. They just don’t work.
No lesbian jokes. You guys don’t have the balls to tell ‘em.
No vagina jokes. they’re horrible. Period.
No jokes about your girlfriend’s vagina. We’ll never get it.
And I know I made a gay joke at the start, but I was just being a fucking asshole. You don’t have to be.

That about covers it.

crusty wrote:

If you want to be a DJ, you have to start from scratch.
Without music, life would B flat.
When a chemist dies, you should barium.

Why do scientists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements? because, if you can’t helium or curium, you BARIUM.

Skeletor-sm

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