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The purpose of this thread is to reenact the 1982 game Zork. I will type what the character does, and you say what he should do. The most people saying what the character should do wins the vote. You can go north, south, east, west, interact with objects, and look around. And now, it starts!

ZORK I: The Great Underground Empire

Copyright © 1981, 1982, 1983 Infocom, Inc. All rights reserved.
ZORK is a registered trademark of Infocom, Inc.
Revision 88 / Serial number 840726

West of House.
You are standing an in open field west of a white house with a boarded front
door.
There is a small mailbox here.

interact with floor

>Open mailbox
Guys, I got this shit. trust me.

>Open Mailbox

Opening the mailbox reveals a leaflet.

>read leaflet

>Read leaflet
(taken)
"Welcome to Zork!

ZORK is a game of adventure, danger, and low cunning. In it you will explore some of the most amazing territory ever seen by mortals. No computer should be without one!"

>Drop Leaflet

Leaflet dropped

>North Twice

>Climb tree.
):

You can't do that. Only suggest what to do next.

>north

Forest Path
This is a path winding through a dimly lit forest. The path heads north-south here. One particularly large tree with some low branches stands at the edge of the path.
You hear in the distance the chirping of a song bird

>Climb Tree

(from now on I will shorten the game's descriptions)

You are about 10 feet up into the tree when you see a jewel encrusted egg in a bird's nest.

>Do a backflip

>Grab Egg

>Grab egg

Egg taken.

>Touch yourself

>Take the nest also, for good measure

>Climb Back Down

>get eaten by Grue

MHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Grues eat well tonight

That only happens in the dark. We're in broad daylight.

W… well… FUCK THIS GAME!

>Climb back down

Forest Path

>South

>travel to Equestrian to sue someone for mailing you a dildo