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Wot da fuck did ya just say 'bout me, ya grot? I'll 'ave ya knowin' I wos promoted to da toppa my warband and I've gone on lotsa WAAAGH's! on da 'umies and bugs and spiky boyz, wiv ova 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in shootin' and choppin' and I'm da top nob in da 'ole warband. Ya ain't nothin' ta me but anotha' 'umie! I'll wipe ya out wit dakka da likes o' wich ain't neva been seen. Ya think ya can git away wit sayin dat shit ta me? Think agin! Roight now, I'm sendin' my army o' boyz after ya, so ya betta be ready for da storm wich wipes out ya puny pathetic life! I can be anywhere anytime an' I can kill ya in ova 700 ways an' dat's just with me bare 'ands! Not only am I a masta' o' punchin', but I 'ave access to alla da dakka of da Orks, an' I'll use it ta wipe ya ass offa da planet, ya little grot! If only ya'd knowed da un'oly revenge ya "cleva" comment was about ta bring down on ya, you'd 'old ya fuckin' tounge! But ya couldn't, ya didn't, and now ya payin' da price. I'll shoot dakka at ya an' you'll drown in it. Yer fuckin' dead, 'umie!

What the ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ did you just ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ say about me, you little ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ. I am trained in ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ and I’m the top ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ in the entire US ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ. You are nothing to me but just another ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ. I will wipe you the ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ out with precision the likes of which has never been ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ before on this ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ, mark my ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ. You think you can get away with saying that ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ to me over the ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ? Think again, ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ across the USA and your ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ. You’re ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ dead, ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ. Not only am I extensively trained in ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ off the face of the continent, you little ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ. If only you could have known what unholy ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ your little “clever” ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ, you goddamn ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ. I will ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ.

obligatory video

What the pony did you just shipping say about oatmeal, you little filly? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the best young flyer competition and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Everfree Forest, and I have over 300 confirmed friendships. I am trained in awesome flying and I’m the top aerial acrobat in the entire Equestrian un-armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another friend. I will show you the magic of friendship with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with paraspriting me over the Internet? Think again, filly. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of bronies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the rainboom, mare. The rainboom that gives a cutie mark to the pathetic little thing you call your flank. You’re fucking loved, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can hug you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in tolerance and love, but I have access to the Orbital Friendship cannon and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you silly pony. If only you could have known what loving retribution your little “oatmeal” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your crazy tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you great newfriend. I will shit friendship all over you and you will dance in it. You’re shipping loved, kiddo.

Oh yeah well I fight sharks.

Faggots.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little consumer? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the sales department, and I've been involved in numerous late night TV commercials, and I have over 3,000,000 confirmed sales. I am trained in pitching and I’m the top stain specialist in the entire US shopping network. You are nothing to me but just another sale. I will wipe stains the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth thanks to awesome cleaning power of Oxi Clean, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over our phones which are manned 24 hours a day? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my shopping network of spies across the USA and your phone number is being traced right now so you better prepare for the fantastic deals we have in store for you, maggot. You’re fucking saving money right now, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can triple this offer in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in stain removal, but I have access to the entire shopping network and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable stains off the top of the kitchen counter. But wait there’s more. If only you could have known what great sales your little phone call was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you’re paying the new low low price of $19.95.

what the PuNE did you just Escorts about me? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in High Profile Escorts and I've been involved in numerous secret rendezvous with Russian Call Girls in PuNE, and I have over 300 confirmed Independent Girls. I am trained in Call Girls and I'm the top John in the entire PuNE Escort directory.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little marine ? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the spartan training program, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Covenant, and I have over 300 confirmed assassinations. I am trained in using jetpacks and I’m the top spartan in the entire UNSC. You are nothing to me but just another meatshield. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this galaxy, mark my words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the COM piece? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting ONI and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, Covenant and Forerunner weapons, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the UNSC and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of your planet, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

I piledrive sharks every morning, after fighting a group of soviet bears of course.

Get on my level

FOR THE EMPEROOOOOOOOR!!!!!

What in face did you just fucking say about my hair, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in high school, and I’ve been involved in numerous fights with Stand users, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in stand warfare and I’ve the top ability in the entire Duwang region. You are nothing to me but just another fatty. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this part, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting the Speedwagon Organization and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the Heavy Weather, maggot. The snails that wipe out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime over 60 km/h, and I can restore you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with Crazy Diamond. Not only do I know the secret Joestar technique, but I have access to the majority of Stand users in Duwang and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will Dorarararara fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re getting a feeling so complicated, kiddo.

˙oppıʞ 'pɐǝp buıʞɔnɟ ǝɹ’noʎ ˙ʇı uı uʍoɹp ןןıʍ noʎ puɐ noʎ ɹǝʌo ןןɐ ʎɹnɟ ʇıɥs ןןıʍ ı ˙ʇoıpı uɯɐppob noʎ 'ǝɔıɹd ǝɥʇ buıʎɐd ǝɹ’noʎ ʍou puɐ 'ʇ’upıp noʎ 'ʇ’upןnoɔ noʎ ʇnq ˙ǝnbuoʇ buıʞɔnɟ ɹnoʎ pןǝɥ ǝʌɐɥ pןnoʍ noʎ ǝqʎɐɯ 'noʎ uodn uʍop buıɹq oʇ ʇnoqɐ sɐʍ ʇuǝɯɯoɔ ”ɹǝʌǝןɔ“ ǝןʇʇıן ɹnoʎ uoıʇnqıɹʇǝɹ ʎןoɥun ʇɐɥʍ uʍouʞ ǝʌɐɥ pןnoɔ noʎ ʎןuo ɟı ˙ʇıɥs ǝןʇʇıן noʎ 'ʇuǝuıʇuoɔ ǝɥʇ ɟo ǝɔɐɟ ǝɥʇ ɟɟo ssɐ ǝןqɐɹǝsıɯ ɹnoʎ ǝdıʍ oʇ ʇuǝʇxǝ ןןnɟ sʇı oʇ ʇı ǝsn ןןıʍ ı puɐ sdɹoɔ ǝuıɹɐɯ sǝʇɐʇs pǝʇıun ǝɥʇ ɟo ןɐuǝsɹɐ ǝɹıʇuǝ ǝɥʇ oʇ ssǝɔɔɐ ǝʌɐɥ ı ʇnq 'ʇɐqɯoɔ pǝɯɹɐun uı pǝuıɐɹʇ ʎןǝʌısuǝʇxǝ ı ɯɐ ʎןuo ʇou ˙spuɐɥ ǝɹɐq ʎɯ ɥʇıʍ ʇsnظ s’ʇɐɥʇ puɐ 'sʎɐʍ pǝɹpunɥ uǝʌǝs ɹǝʌo uı noʎ ןןıʞ uɐɔ ı puɐ 'ǝɯıʇʎuɐ 'ǝɹǝɥʍʎuɐ ǝq uɐɔ ı ˙pıʞ 'pɐǝp buıʞɔnɟ ǝɹ’noʎ ˙ǝɟıן ɹnoʎ ןןɐɔ noʎ buıɥʇ ǝןʇʇıן ɔıʇǝɥʇɐd ǝɥʇ ʇno sǝdıʍ ʇɐɥʇ ɯɹoʇs ǝɥʇ ˙ʇobbɐɯ 'ɯɹoʇs ǝɥʇ ɹoɟ ǝɹɐdǝɹd ɹǝʇʇǝq noʎ os ʍou ʇɥbıɹ pǝɔɐɹʇ buıǝq sı dı ɹnoʎ puɐ ɐsn ǝɥʇ ssoɹɔɐ sǝıds ɟo ʞɹoʍʇǝu ʇǝɹɔǝs ʎɯ buıʇɔɐʇuoɔ ɯɐ ı ʞɐǝds ǝʍ sɐ ˙ɹǝʞɔnɟ 'uıɐbɐ ʞuıɥʇ ¿ʇǝuɹǝʇuı ǝɥʇ ɹǝʌo ǝɯ oʇ ʇıɥs ʇɐɥʇ buıʎɐs ɥʇıʍ ʎɐʍɐ ʇǝb uɐɔ noʎ ʞuıɥʇ noʎ ˙spɹoʍ buıʞɔnɟ ʎɯ ʞɹɐɯ 'ɥʇɹɐǝ sıɥʇ uo ǝɹoɟǝq uǝǝs uǝǝq ɹǝʌǝu sɐɥ ɥɔıɥʍ ɟo sǝʞıן ǝɥʇ uoısıɔǝɹd ɥʇıʍ ʇno ʞɔnɟ ǝɥʇ noʎ ǝdıʍ ןןıʍ ı ˙ʇǝbɹɐʇ ɹǝɥʇouɐ ʇsnظ ʇnq ǝɯ oʇ buıɥʇou ǝɹɐ noʎ ˙sǝɔɹoɟ pǝɯɹɐ sn ǝɹıʇuǝ ǝɥʇ uı ɹǝdıus doʇ ǝɥʇ ɯ’ı puɐ ǝɹɐɟɹɐʍ ɐןןıɹob uı pǝuıɐɹʇ ɯɐ ı ˙sןןıʞ pǝɯɹıɟuoɔ 003 ɹǝʌo ǝʌɐɥ ı puɐ 'ɐpǝɐnb-ןɐ uo spıɐɹ ʇǝɹɔǝs snoɹǝɯnu uı pǝʌןoʌuı uǝǝq ǝʌ’ı puɐ 'sןɐǝs ʎʌɐu ǝɥʇ uı ssɐןɔ ʎɯ ɟo doʇ pǝʇɐnpɐɹb ı ʍouʞ noʎ ǝʌɐɥ ןן’ı ¿ɥɔʇıq ǝןʇʇıן noʎ 'ǝɯ ʇnoqɐ ʎɐs buıʞɔnɟ ʇsnظ noʎ pıp ʞɔnɟ ǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ

Can't read that copypasta without thinking of this video now.

What the squid did you just squidding say about me, you little human? De geso. I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Squids, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Fish Markets, and I have over 300 squidding gills. I am trained in tentacle warfare and I'm the top inker in the entire squid army de geso. You are nothing to me but just another servant. I will wipe you the squid out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Surface World, mark my squidding words. You think you can get away with saying that fish to me over the Internet? Think again, human. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of squids across the Surface and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the tsunami, human. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're squid-ding dead, mouth breather. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can gill you in over seven hundred kraken ways, and that's just with my bare tentacles. Not only am I extensively trained in tentacle combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Sea's creatures and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable bass off the face of the surface, you little gull. If only you could have known what squidly retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your kraken tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you squidding baka. I will ink fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're squidding dead, de geso

I like to wake up in the morning and step onto my Lego-built flooring, as I go to my kitchen to make myself a bowl of nails.

Without any milk.

What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o’ swag. I’ll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o’ pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o’ monsoon that’ll wipe ye off the map. You’re sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o’er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o’ the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I’ll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o’ the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn’t, ye didn’t, and now ye’ll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I’ll shit fury all over ye and ye’ll drown in the depths o’ it. You’re fish food now.