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The Kumquats are attacking!

Last posted Mar 19, 2013 at 07:11PM EDT. Added Mar 18, 2013 at 12:32PM EDT
14 posts from 13 users

Gentlemen, ladies, and men who dress like ladies… I bring dire news!

Even now, the kumquat fruits are taking up arms and preparing to march upon humankind! They have decided that it is they who should reign over the Earth. They would kill us, raid our cities, and plunder our technology, which they would use to enforce their global power.

Do not be fooled by their innocuous appearance. Kumquats are sly shapeshifters and illusionists. There may be some among us now, acting as spies. Tread carefully, and beware of kumquats in your midst.

But do not give in to fear! We are stronger than they! We have the distinct advantage of being able to eat kumquats and gain nutrients from their flesh. If you see kumquats outside of a grocery store (where they are captives, and not a threat) you must consume them right away. Together we shall stop their diabolical schemes!

Mar 18, 2013 at 12:32PM EDT

CLYDE (Joe's Nightmare) wrote:

More like *CUM*quats, am I right?

This is not a laughing matter.

Mar 18, 2013 at 02:20PM EDT

Ya gotta believe him guys! Kumquats want to become the dominant species on the planet, and they’ll destroy us all to make it happen!

Last edited Mar 18, 2013 at 03:38PM EDT
Mar 18, 2013 at 03:36PM EDT

I thought this was going to be a MetaMango thread and now I hurt inside.

Mar 18, 2013 at 03:48PM EDT

Shit, the neighbours have a kumquat tree. Do they incite rebellion in lemons and limes? I may have a situation.

Mar 19, 2013 at 11:32AM EDT

I’d better get hiding.
Or somehow acquire a flamethrower.
Or both.

Mar 19, 2013 at 07:11PM EDT

This thread is closed to new posts.

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