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I don't have a dead car in the trunk of a hooker but I still payed to fill em both up

ITT:Dumbest jokes you ever heard

GO

Got this one from a Dutch brony forum:
So this gay deer walks out of a bar and said to himself: "My god I can't believe I just blew 50 bucks in there"

He must've been really horny that night…

So a guy walks into a bar…
ouch

A knock-knock joke for you all:

Two guys walk into a bar.

There was a teddy bear, and he fell down the stairs.
THAT'S ALL, FOLKS

It's dumb, but it made me laugh for some reason.

I have a habit of punching up fucklines.

One day, my bro tells me that my jokes "Aren't about the destination, they're about the journey."
So the very next day, guess what I said?

"It's not about the journey…"

What do you call a joke without a punchline?

icwutudidthar.jpg

I don't like Nazi jokes. Anne Frankly I think they're insensitive.

Wow, this one's not old as sin or anything.

Why did the Koala fall out of the tree?

He died

Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree?

He was tied to the first Koala

Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree?

He saw the first two fall and thought it was a fun game

Why did the cyclist fall off his bike?

He died

Why did the second cyclist fall off his bike?

He was on a tandem bike with the first

Why did the third cyclist fall of his bike?

He was hit by falling Koalas

I like puns. I think they're punny.
Punce upun a time I told a pun. It was pun.
Pun might say it was 'punderful'.
Because of my pun, a punman was hired to pun me down.
It caused pundemonium. I had to pun.
I'm now living punderground, as my punishment.

I barely ate anything yesterday because I had a missed steak at the meat shop.

So an Atheist, a Christian, and a Jew walk into a bar and order some drinks.

…What? Do you think this is the start of some sick joke? These three men are friends, all of honor. The Atheist does not like to consider religion, but respects others who do so. The Christian is there because the Atheist had been his childhood friend and respects his rights for not being involved in religious matters. He is also there as a peacekeeper, as he makes sure neither of his friends get in an argument with each other. The Jew had also been both the Christian and the Atheist's friends since their youth, and he upholds to never break such a strong bond.

If you didn't read this, go eat a Snickers.

What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield?
Its butt.

Guys, I'm not homophobic. Homophobia is totally immoral and wrong.

And being wrong is for gay people.

Why did OP rip me off?
Because he's a goddam faggot!

@Soldier

Curse you! I read it in his voice!

@Dr. Coolface

What's the difference between you and a Dead Hooker?

You still suck!

What's the difference between a Dead Hooker in the road and a dead cat in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the dead cat!

what's the difference stormtroopers and male hookers?
stormtroopers miss
male hookers makes hits every time

I hired a hooker once and she was good.
It was a pro-boner

That's a real KOALA-ty joke you've got there.

I'm sorry, I guess I've run out of material.

So a guy walks into a bar and sits down next to a psychic. The psychic starts laughing her head off and turns to him and says "Oh man, I can't believe you are about to say that!"

When is a paper not a paper?

When it's turned into the teacher.

a dad to his son
Dad: son can i ask you a question?
Son: sure what is it dad?
Dad: pussy
Son: I don't get it
Dad: I know you don't

knock knock
whos there?
9/11
9/11 who?
you said you'd never forget.
im so sorry

Last night I dreamed I was writing a book called the hobbit. I was Tolkien in my sleep

If I ever get a turtle I will call it Recall. He will be my turtle Recall