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How is a car like a hooker?

Last posted Jul 01, 2013 at 02:15AM EDT. Added Jun 20, 2013 at 05:15AM EDT
33 posts from 23 users

I don’t have a dead car in the trunk of a hooker but I still payed to fill em both up

ITT:Dumbest jokes you ever heard

GO

Jun 20, 2013 at 05:15AM EDT
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Got this one from a Dutch brony forum:
So this gay deer walks out of a bar and said to himself: “My god I can’t believe I just blew 50 bucks in there”

Last edited Jun 20, 2013 at 05:36AM EDT
Jun 20, 2013 at 05:34AM EDT
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Zorgenflarg wrote:

Got this one from a Dutch brony forum:
So this gay deer walks out of a bar and said to himself: “My god I can’t believe I just blew 50 bucks in there”

He must’ve been really horny that night…

Last edited Jun 20, 2013 at 05:47AM EDT
Jun 20, 2013 at 05:43AM EDT
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There was a teddy bear, and he fell down the stairs.
THAT’S ALL, FOLKS

It’s dumb, but it made me laugh for some reason.

Jun 20, 2013 at 10:47AM EDT
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I have a habit of punching up fucklines.

One day, my bro tells me that my jokes “Aren’t about the destination, they’re about the journey.”
So the very next day, guess what I said?

“It’s not about the journey…”

Last edited Jun 20, 2013 at 12:05PM EDT
Jun 20, 2013 at 12:04PM EDT
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Kim Jong Is A Feminist wrote:

What do you call a joke without a punchline?

icwutudidthar.jpg

I don’t like Nazi jokes. Anne Frankly I think they’re insensitive.

Jun 20, 2013 at 02:27PM EDT
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Captain Douglas J Falcon wrote:

icwutudidthar.jpg

I don’t like Nazi jokes. Anne Frankly I think they’re insensitive.

Wow, this one’s not old as sin or anything.

Jun 20, 2013 at 02:50PM EDT
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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree?

He died

Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree?

He was tied to the first Koala

Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree?

He saw the first two fall and thought it was a fun game

Why did the cyclist fall off his bike?

He died

Why did the second cyclist fall off his bike?

He was on a tandem bike with the first

Why did the third cyclist fall of his bike?

He was hit by falling Koalas

Jun 20, 2013 at 02:59PM EDT
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I like puns. I think they’re punny.
Punce upun a time I told a pun. It was pun.
Pun might say it was ‘punderful’.
Because of my pun, a punman was hired to pun me down.
It caused pundemonium. I had to pun.
I’m now living punderground, as my punishment.

Last edited Jun 20, 2013 at 04:02PM EDT
Jun 20, 2013 at 04:02PM EDT
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I barely ate anything yesterday because I had a missed steak at the meat shop.

Jun 20, 2013 at 04:35PM EDT
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So an Atheist, a Christian, and a Jew walk into a bar and order some drinks.

…What? Do you think this is the start of some sick joke? These three men are friends, all of honor. The Atheist does not like to consider religion, but respects others who do so. The Christian is there because the Atheist had been his childhood friend and respects his rights for not being involved in religious matters. He is also there as a peacekeeper, as he makes sure neither of his friends get in an argument with each other. The Jew had also been both the Christian and the Atheist’s friends since their youth, and he upholds to never break such a strong bond.

If you didn’t read this, go eat a Snickers.

Jun 20, 2013 at 06:21PM EDT
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What’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind when it hits a windshield?
Its butt.

Last edited Jun 20, 2013 at 07:00PM EDT
Jun 20, 2013 at 06:58PM EDT
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Guys, I’m not homophobic. Homophobia is totally immoral and wrong.

And being wrong is for gay people.

Jun 20, 2013 at 07:35PM EDT
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Why did OP rip me off?
Because he’s a goddam faggot!

@Soldier

Curse you! I read it in his voice!

Jun 21, 2013 at 01:12AM EDT
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@Dr. Coolface

What’s the difference between you and a Dead Hooker?

You still suck!

Jun 21, 2013 at 04:41PM EDT
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Derpy SJW wrote:

@Dr. Coolface

What’s the difference between you and a Dead Hooker?

You still suck!

Jun 21, 2013 at 07:39PM EDT
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Dr. Coolface wrote:

What’s the difference between a Dead Hooker in the road and a dead cat in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the dead cat!

Jun 21, 2013 at 08:04PM EDT
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Derpy SJW wrote:

What’s the difference between a Dead Hooker in the road and a dead cat in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the dead cat!

what’s the difference stormtroopers and male hookers?
stormtroopers miss
male hookers makes hits every time

Jun 22, 2013 at 10:24PM EDT
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Blue Screen (of Death) wrote:

Why did the Koala fall out of the tree?

He died

Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree?

He was tied to the first Koala

Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree?

He saw the first two fall and thought it was a fun game

Why did the cyclist fall off his bike?

He died

Why did the second cyclist fall off his bike?

He was on a tandem bike with the first

Why did the third cyclist fall of his bike?

He was hit by falling Koalas

That’s a real KOALA-ty joke you’ve got there.

I’m sorry, I guess I’ve run out of material.

Jun 27, 2013 at 12:33PM EDT
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So a guy walks into a bar and sits down next to a psychic. The psychic starts laughing her head off and turns to him and says “Oh man, I can’t believe you are about to say that!”

Jun 27, 2013 at 01:45PM EDT
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When is a paper not a paper?

When it’s turned into the teacher.

Jun 27, 2013 at 02:23PM EDT
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a dad to his son
Dad: son can i ask you a question?
Son: sure what is it dad?
Dad: pussy
Son: I don’t get it
Dad: I know you don’t

Jun 28, 2013 at 04:15PM EDT
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knock knock
whos there?
9/11
9/11 who?
you said you’d never forget.
im so sorry

Jun 28, 2013 at 09:45PM EDT
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Last night I dreamed I was writing a book called the hobbit. I was Tolkien in my sleep

Jul 01, 2013 at 02:15AM EDT
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If I ever get a turtle I will call it Recall. He will be my turtle Recall

Jul 01, 2013 at 02:15AM EDT
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Skeletor-sm

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