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The Holy Gospel of Super Robo Jesus

Last posted Jun 28, 2013 at 11:33AM EDT. Added Jun 25, 2013 at 02:06PM EDT
20 posts from 11 users

Come now, my brethren, let us read the scriptures.

(In other words, what bible style stories can you come up with? I’d like for you to use references to other infamous deadpooled articles.)

Jun 25, 2013 at 02:06PM EDT
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Super Robo Jesus came across a sick man named Chemo Steve. Super Robo Jesus recalls the story by stating, “CHEMO STEVE is all about inspiring you may think he looks like in a bad shape but he really wants you to realize things are never that bad…”

Jun 25, 2013 at 02:48PM EDT
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3 And Super Robo God said, Let there be cool: and there was cool.

4 And Super Robo God saw the cool, that it was straight up dope: and Super Robo God divided the cool from the lame.

5 And Super Robo God called the cool win, and the lame he called fail. And there was faggotry and there was swag; one day.

Jun 25, 2013 at 03:52PM EDT
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Cale wrote:

3 And Super Robo God said, Let there be cool: and there was cool.

4 And Super Robo God saw the cool, that it was straight up dope: and Super Robo God divided the cool from the lame.

5 And Super Robo God called the cool win, and the lame he called fail. And there was faggotry and there was swag; one day.

And Super Robo God banished the faggots from his kingdom. The faggots formed their own kingdom and they called it 9gag.

Jun 25, 2013 at 03:54PM EDT
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And spotteth twice they the IMPOLITE POSSUM before the third hour. And so the CAMOAWAM went forth to ZOMG LAZER BEEMZ in Kadesh Bilgemath by ALL TOASTERS TOAST TOAST, to the house of MILHOUSE, he who brought the butter dish to THE GRAPIST and the tent peg to the house of HARD GAY, and there slew they the GUILTY PLEASURE GOAT, yea, and DO YOU A FAGGOT in little pots? Here endeth the FAGGOT TREE.

Jun 26, 2013 at 12:56AM EDT
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Derp Satan wrote:

And spotteth twice they the IMPOLITE POSSUM before the third hour. And so the CAMOAWAM went forth to ZOMG LAZER BEEMZ in Kadesh Bilgemath by ALL TOASTERS TOAST TOAST, to the house of MILHOUSE, he who brought the butter dish to THE GRAPIST and the tent peg to the house of HARD GAY, and there slew they the GUILTY PLEASURE GOAT, yea, and DO YOU A FAGGOT in little pots? Here endeth the FAGGOT TREE.

I have no idea what you just said.

Jun 26, 2013 at 12:58AM EDT
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And Super Robo Jesus made a whip of cords, and drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and the oxen; and He poured out the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables.

-John, 2:15

Jun 26, 2013 at 11:53AM EDT
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And Super Giga Mecha Nesbitt raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, “O Super Robo Jesus, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.” And Super Robo Jesus did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chu… [this part has been blurred due to a rather large wine stain] And Super Robo Jesus spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.”

Armaments, 2:9-21

Jun 26, 2013 at 12:48PM EDT
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Superrobotjesus is my shepherd. I DO NOT WANT
He make me to lie down in +1 confirmed pastures
He leads me beside dragons having sex with cars
He came inside Rainbow Dash
He guides me along the right 4chan boards for the best R34
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of cancer, I shall fear no deadpool for though art with me
Your Rocket propelled chainsaw and your 20" robot dick, they comfort me.
You prepare a confirm before me in the presence of my deadpoolers
You touch me with your noodly appendage, my pants overflow.
Surely your robotness and super will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the deadpooled article of Superrobojesus forever.

-Spam 2:3-11

Jun 26, 2013 at 10:32PM EDT
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Super Robo Jesus one day came across a man named Otis Pearson, who prefered to be called by his initials. The man, OP, with a Twiface said: “OH, I’M SO COOL. I JUST CREATED AN AWFUL ARTICLE ON KYM . OOHHH.” SRJ replied: “I can tell that one unfortunate day, that you will be deadpooled due to your lack of creativity.” The man, hiding his anguish, also said: “I have goat with me, ridden with guilty pleasures. It is the one that has caused me to go on a spree with awful uncreative measures. Can you spare me of this feeling?” Robo Jesus, satisfied that he served another sinner says “I will sacrifice to our lord Robo God and send him to the deadpool in your place. All you must do is recognize me as the one who saved you, because I will soon make the same sacrifice as this goat will. Now you can just chill.” The man, now ecstatic, screams: “Thank you, Super Robo Jesus! I can now become a walrus and not feel like dookey shit!!! Now I have to oil up my body to become my dream!!!”

-GG Gregory 12:1-24

All of this has been created using recently deadpooled memes.
PEACE!!!

Last edited Jun 27, 2013 at 02:51AM EDT
Jun 27, 2013 at 02:50AM EDT
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@To all above

Amen to our lord Ceiling Cat

For he so loved memes that he gave his only son, SuperRobotJesus to be deadpooled upon KYM, so that memes may not perish in hell for their cancer and OP’ness but be confirmed for eternity

-Longcat 9:001

Last edited Jun 27, 2013 at 03:26AM EDT
Jun 27, 2013 at 03:24AM EDT
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Blue Screen (of Death) wrote:

@To all above

Amen to our lord Ceiling Cat

For he so loved memes that he gave his only son, SuperRobotJesus to be deadpooled upon KYM, so that memes may not perish in hell for their cancer and OP’ness but be confirmed for eternity

-Longcat 9:001

Hallelujah!

Jun 27, 2013 at 04:29PM EDT
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Blue Screen (of Death) wrote:

@To all above

Amen to our lord Ceiling Cat

For he so loved memes that he gave his only son, SuperRobotJesus to be deadpooled upon KYM, so that memes may not perish in hell for their cancer and OP’ness but be confirmed for eternity

-Longcat 9:001

From this we can infer that internet culture is polytheistic.

Jun 27, 2013 at 05:11PM EDT
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Luna Rogers wrote:

From this we can infer that internet culture is polytheistic.

But this is really similar to the Bible verse. By that logic, Christians are polythe- I see what you did there.

Jun 27, 2013 at 08:54PM EDT
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Serious Business wrote:

But this is really similar to the Bible verse. By that logic, Christians are polythe- I see what you did there.

Christians have a three for the price of one deal.

Jun 28, 2013 at 11:33AM EDT
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Skeletor-sm

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