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1000 ways to get kicked out of Wal-mart (RECARNATION)

Last posted Aug 17, 2013 at 07:13AM EDT. Added Jul 02, 2013 at 11:54PM EDT
161 posts from 58 users

I found a thread like this, but it was closed, so I made one. But a 1000 ways.

I’ll start.
1. Dress up as batman and yell “TO ZE BATCAVE!!!!!” at the top of your lungs.

Jul 02, 2013 at 11:54PM EDT

4. Shit on the little conveyor belt that you put your groceries on.

Last edited Jul 03, 2013 at 12:45AM EDT
Jul 03, 2013 at 12:44AM EDT

5. Read Rorschachs journal entries out loud threw a megaphone in the kids clothing area.

Jul 03, 2013 at 12:55AM EDT

6. make redneck jokes about the 300 lb women paying with food stamps at checkout

*EDIT: forgot to number it

Last edited Jul 03, 2013 at 01:43AM EDT
Jul 03, 2013 at 01:42AM EDT

9. Forget to wear pants

Jul 03, 2013 at 02:38AM EDT

Dr. Coolface wrote:

Throw pieces of meat at people.

15. Throw pieces of store meat at people.

Jul 03, 2013 at 04:28AM EDT

19. Get your friends to pretend they’re inchworms and block the aisles

Jul 03, 2013 at 11:23AM EDT

21. Asking an employee nicely to kick you out of wal-mart. (Beg is necessary.)

Jul 03, 2013 at 12:31PM EDT

22. throw a fit over how they have 2 dozen check out isles and only 4 of them are open at a time.

Last edited Jul 03, 2013 at 12:37PM EDT
Jul 03, 2013 at 12:36PM EDT

Loudly sing bawdy songs. Bonus points for getting children to join in.

Jul 03, 2013 at 01:30PM EDT

25. go in the bathroom, steal a piece of crap, and give it to the manager

Jul 03, 2013 at 01:44PM EDT

27: Rage over the uneven numbers of hot dogs and buns, decapitate the cashier and set everything on fire.
Sure you might get shot, pepper sprayed or beaten, but they will surely throw you out of there. I guarantee it. I’ve done it.

Jul 03, 2013 at 02:12PM EDT

29. Get a flash mob together (at the very least 100 people) and have everyone march around the store together while playing bagpipes. Bonus points if everyone is randomly playing whatever they want.

Jul 03, 2013 at 04:43PM EDT

31. Make meth using the ingredients you grabbed off the shelves in Wal-Mart. If they do not catch you making it, make sure to try and sell some to either the Girl Scouts in the store if it’s cookie season or any of the people running the registers by offering to pay for whatever you want to buy that wasn’t used to make the meth, with the meth.

Jul 03, 2013 at 09:44PM EDT

32. Have a shopping cart race with a friend.

Last edited Jul 03, 2013 at 11:39PM EDT
Jul 03, 2013 at 11:27PM EDT

35 (the order screwed up. Rerouting). Take a shit in the cash slot in the self checkout machine.

Last edited Jul 03, 2013 at 11:34PM EDT
Jul 03, 2013 at 11:33PM EDT

36: Put little pieces of duct tape over the barcodes of every item you can find.

Last edited Jul 04, 2013 at 02:45AM EDT
Jul 04, 2013 at 02:45AM EDT

38. Sharpie marker product tags with “piss”, “semen”, “dildos” and “employee excrement”.

Jul 04, 2013 at 03:06AM EDT

39. Hit on everyone. Male, female, old, young. Hey, you’ll be kicked out for creeping a lot of people out, but you’ll be having a date Saturday night.

Jul 04, 2013 at 03:32AM EDT

41.dress up as master chief ask if they can go down to see what’s wrong with the counter then teabag them bonus points for convincing them to do that

Jul 04, 2013 at 11:31AM EDT

44. Wearing a shirt saying “K-mart can kick Walmart’s ass”.

Last edited Jul 04, 2013 at 04:40PM EDT
Jul 04, 2013 at 04:39PM EDT

45. Misspell ‘Reincarnation for the title of a thread (I’m so sorry).

Jul 05, 2013 at 12:11AM EDT

46. Jump on top of the checkout stand and scream, “I WANT THE D” as loud as you can.

Jul 05, 2013 at 12:46AM EDT

48. punch out a walmart greeter and impersonate the guy you beat up (walmart greeter)

Jul 05, 2013 at 10:50AM EDT

50. start trowing live river otters at people

Jul 05, 2013 at 11:00AM EDT

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