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CONTINUE THE EPIC STORY THREAD!

Last posted Aug 05, 2013 at 02:39PM EDT. Added Aug 05, 2013 at 01:53PM EDT
2 posts from 2 users

(To prevent derailing of the thread here are some ground rules 1.No abrupt endings, 2.Try to keep somewhat consistent, and 3. You can add as many characters/events/places/goals as you want but the main goal must be kept. With that out of the way exercise you imagination, and write your addition to this epic tale!)

Long ago there was a land, a land of enchantment, a land of lol’s, trolls, gifs, posts, uploads, videos, rage, fanboys, and more; this land was called Intranet, and it had been long sealed from the world. No one remembered why it had been sealed away, of course there were legends, vague whispers of empires, heroes, and eons of history; but it did not matter to them. To many it was just something of no concern in their daily lives, a whole lot of myths and superstition behind a great snow white wall in a lonely misty area of the world.

This wall- at which Intranet had been supposedly sealed off from the world for centuries- was indeed great, of a pure white, and at a lonely place, the area in which it resided was a mountainous place covered in snow and rain with preputial overcast and a thick unyielding fog. The location of the wall itself was within the land’s largest valley, between two mountains it stood, reaching higher than the clouds themselves. This was the wall of Google, none in the outside world knew its name- save for one, Tim Hardenbrook, who stood right in front of it in the raging snowstorm.

The reason as to why Tim was at this wall or much less even knew its name was because of a parchment letter he has received sealed in blue wax with the letters KYM embedded into it. The letter was brief, but to the point “Come to the great wall of Google, your time has arrived to save Intranet”.

Tim, always being the adventurous type had come to the wall because of this. Not because he believed anything the letter had said, far from it- but rather coming to see who had sent the letter would certainly be a story worth telling. Though as he stood right in front of the wall, a sense of curiosity overcame him, the legends of a land the sheer size and presence of this wall setled strangely in his mind. Then before he could have another thought, the wall itself glowed brightly, and then again but brighter. Tim stood in amazement, soon the continual off and on of the glowing wall was lighting up the the fog in the valley; then the wall glowed its brightest, with the intensity of the sun.

Tim had to shield his eyes, but from behind his fingers he could see that the wall was opening, he looked up and saw the titanic walls in all their majesty open, he then quickly looked in front of him again. FLASH.

The glowing immediately stopped, the walls closed quickly without a sound, the mist and snowstorm took control once more, and Tim… was gone……

Aug 05, 2013 at 01:53PM EDT
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Tim took no time at all and began to search for explicit pornography involving children. He found a whole friggin bunch. He sat down next to a bull mastiff going hog wild on an 8 year old boys’ rectum. “Now this makes me HARDenbrook” he laughed. He began to crank his hog like a jackhammer and drank some of the boy’s tears to not get too dehydrated. It was a hell of a crank. He then high-fived the dog and gangnam styled away.

His pleasure flowed throughout his body and into the cosmos. He had reached the buddhist Nirvana. Then Don Cheadle raced out from behind a tree and bit off Tim’s tiny member and most of his sweaty taint. “I was in Hotel Rwanda” Don Cheadle said, “that movie is fuckin boss. Hutu and Tutsis damn damn damn damn damn damn.” He then carved a pentagram into his chest with a rusty piece of a basketball hoop and ascended to the Hingdom of Kevin. “The lord works in mysterious ways” thought Tim. He regretted no longer having a penis so he tried to bash his own head in with a brick. Unfortunately he did not die and had creamed his trousers with his leftover ejaculate and blood. “Legalize bronyism” he thought and he plugged his new orifice with the brick so as to stop the slow drip.

A monkey scurried in front of him. Stopped and said “the George Zimmerman trial had nothing to do with race.” The monkey ran off into a fog coloured like the American flag.

“Now,” Tim thought “time to save the internet” and he gangnam styled until his achilles tendon snapped.

Last edited Aug 05, 2013 at 02:42PM EDT
Aug 05, 2013 at 02:39PM EDT
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