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Alejandro's Murder Mystery Thread, Book XI: Know Your Enemy

Last posted Sep 19, 2013 at 12:56PM EDT. Added Sep 03, 2013 at 01:28PM EDT
52 posts from 13 users

>11 impatient sons of bitches (I’m joking of course)
>One day, they are visiting the gay beach of gayness because they are all gay literally all of them
>Digoxin and Nature’s Ninja are playing Gay beach volleyball against Mike and Ivan
>Carnotaur, Douglas, and Chowz are swimming in the ocean
>Jace spots a mass of dark mass in the water
>“Oh shit yo what is that there dark mass in the water”
>It begins to rise to the surface
>“Shit shit”
>They all breathe a sigh of relief
>“It was just a big stupid jellyfish” points out Medic
>“Oh shit” exclaims Sloth
>The big stupid jellyfish rises to the surface
>BUT
>Big Stupid Jellyfish also rises to the surface
>He is dead
>Wowee didn’t expect that coming
>Obviously it’s not an accident
>But for plot purposes it is as of right now
>10 lovely flowers remain

Part 1

We went to the Gay Beach of Gayness today. However I do not classify myself being gay. Beforehand I thought the “gay” in Gay Beach meant “happy” and so I obliged to come along.

However I was still classified as gay, and also played volleyball with strangers Mike and Ivan with Digoxin on my side.

It was alright.
Digoxin was trying to come onto me.
I did not like that.

What happened today down near the beach was is strange. Big Stupid Jellyfish has drowned, but with cut wounds down the neck, causing internal bleeding. He is deceased now. Swimmers Chowz, Carnotaur and Douglas were swimming along with Big Stupid Jellyfish, but someone in that group sets me off and gives me an ominous feeling.

But everyone thinks someone killed him, and I think that at the moment.

~ The Raccoon

Last edited Sep 07, 2013 at 02:09AM EDT

So, it’s begins again?
Say the Medic while examining the inert body of the big stupid jellyfish
Verdammt! I only vanted a peaceful and “normal” vacation! Is like zhat stupid camp!

Yes… Medic remembers the incident, when the Nightmare Medic possesses his body and began to kill everyone in the camp, only saving Mark in the last moment… Committing suicide.
Luckily I vas only dead for 15 seconds, Zhanks Respaw.
And thanks for the Medic, Mark became a detective, and starts her own investigation.

But…Why NM leave her alive? She deveserve to live? Is Nightmare Medic interested in her? Vhy?
The demon told him she will die later, with all of her species, if not… That demon will return and start another slaughter…

Vell, he is not here, Maybe he… kill her? I have no idea… I only can wait for the next thing.
Medic hears Digoxin, he told him if he can check some clues… Well, whatever…

.
.
.
A patridge in a pear three… I still remember that “last words”

Falcon: Oh god not this shit again. I need to stop coming on trips with you guys. At least i’m not dead first. Also, why did we pick a gay beach?

@Digoxin:
Falcon: just Because we found the body doesn’t mean we were the killers. Check for signs of Rigor Mortis or the like setting in.

@Sloth:
Falcon: I don’t think that would get you very far, unless the have some info on Big Stupid Jellyfish that they’d like to share.

@Mike:

@Medic:
Suddenly, a voice pops into Medic’s head. Only he can hear it.
???: Big things are coming. Very. Big. Things.

OOC: Shouldn’t Alejandro decide how Jelly died? Maybe he got beaten, and thrown into the water unconcious.

BIC:
That Crouching Sloth is a homophobe… I’m not even gay. I just suck dick. Maybe HE is the killer and wants to frame us!

So, maybe we should go and change our outfits. The Police might find these swimsuits a bit…
looks at Captain Falcon

After analyzing the big stupid jellyfish and the body, Medic came to a conclusion.

Vell dummkopfs, I have two options about zis…

ONE
Zee killer maybe drowned Big Shtupid Jellyfish , or perhaps zee killer uses zat big shtupid jellyfish to poison him

TWO
I zhink zis not even an homicide, maybe zat shupit idiot attempt to make sex vith zat poor animal and die…

Gime some ideas!

Last edited Sep 07, 2013 at 03:12PM EDT

@Digoxin
I ain’t no homophobe. I just have a crippling fear of short-shorts. Also, we are at beach, right? Maybe he was attacked by a manatee. Just look at these things.

Obviously evil.

Last edited Sep 07, 2013 at 03:51PM EDT

>After two days of some magical plot wizard’s respite
>The remaining ten leave the Homosexual Beach of Homosexuality
>They decide to go to Taco Bell to get shitty Mexican food
>Chowz, being the leader of the group, orders one taco for each of them
>Ninja is being a dick, eating everyone’s tacos
>Ivan, Medic, and Digoxin are the only ones with tacos
>Ninja goes up to Medic and tries to take his taco
>Medic throws it away, to Chowz’s dismay
>Digoxin is too late
>Ninja scarfs it down
>Ivan scarfs down his taco before Ninja can get it
>“Ha loser” says Ivan
>Ivan starts to tremble
>His eyes roll into the back of his head as he foams at the mouth
>SHIT SHIT
>Falcon tries to perform CPR but ends up making out with a dead guy
>BECAUSE IVAN IS DEAD
>Nine remain

Digoxin gets his notebook
Yet another partner has died. Nature’s Ninja dodged a bullet there, since he was being a dick eating our tacos. Fucker. Chowz was swimming 2 days ago when Jelly died, so I’ll keep my eye on him.
Clearly, someone put some kind of Cyanide in Ivan’s taco. Either one of us, or one of the cooks.
I say we go and talk to the manager of this restaurant.

Part 3

There is a serial killer among us.
After eating all the tacos I saw a person, Ivan, die in front of me.

Sad to think that I could have died if I ate his taco.
But this warrior need fuel.

~ The Raccoon

Vell, he deserve zat for zaking mein taco!

*Whatever, another dead, another mistery, when will this slaughter finish? Besides, the killer kill someone because a taco? Ha! That dude is worst than me.?

I vant more tacos!
Man, I hungry, Stupid Ninja, If I was the real killer, I will kill him first!
Concentration! Don’t zink zat! Vee need to discofer who is the killer…

Mmm… This is strange, the killer use poison again, like the big stupid jellyfish… Let’s begin to talk to the manager, because he need to know if someone enters to the kitchen and poisoned the taco.

Digoxin, I follow you, BUT NOT BECAUSE I LIKE YOU! Zis is fery serious,

Dr. MEDIC! wrote:

Vell, he deserve zat for zaking mein taco!

*Whatever, another dead, another mistery, when will this slaughter finish? Besides, the killer kill someone because a taco? Ha! That dude is worst than me.?

I vant more tacos!
Man, I hungry, Stupid Ninja, If I was the real killer, I will kill him first!
Concentration! Don’t zink zat! Vee need to discofer who is the killer…

Mmm… This is strange, the killer use poison again, like the big stupid jellyfish… Let’s begin to talk to the manager, because he need to know if someone enters to the kitchen and poisoned the taco.

Digoxin, I follow you, BUT NOT BECAUSE I LIKE YOU! Zis is fery serious,

Oh, of course, Medic…
Not that I… like you or anything…
wink wink

Carno’s log; Chapter 1, belated.
This audio journal is a lot further behind than the rest. I know they are writing too, especially that digoxin. I know because he did this last time in marks thread. 2 are dead. I’m a main suspect. I’ve started to keep a P30 on me at all times. I didnt do it. That’s all you need to know for now. Carnotaur out.
end of transmission

Laud Piestrings wrote:

OOC:
While I know it is far too late to join in, I have no problem spectating… hehehe.
Actually, I’m just hoping for some yaoi shipping. But good luck to you all (except the murderer… I will find you out…)

>mfw

Last edited Sep 12, 2013 at 11:26AM EDT

>Nine yaois left
>They are walking home from Taco Bell back to their hotel
>Did I mention they’re at a hotel
>That’s kind of important
>Go back to their rooms
>There’s three of them
>Jace, and Chowz are in one room (Ivan and Jellyfish were in that room)
>Ninja, Falcon, Carnotaur, and Digoxin are in another
>Sloth, Medic, and Mike are in the last
>As Jace and Chowz are spooning, Sloth, Medic, and Mike are taking pictures and relaying them to the other four
>“hahaha lol jace is the big spoon ha lmao” they text each other
>The next morning
>A scream is heard from the Gay Spoon room
>Chowz is mortified to find Jace stabbed in his side
>He’s dead that means
>“My… My big spoon” Chowz wails in mourning
>Eight left yo

Once again, Chowz was present when Jace died. Maybe the killer is trying to frame him, because he doesn’t look like a killer to me. However, looks can be decieveing. I wonder what will happen when the killer is uncovered…
Will I be alive when everyone else dies?

Chowz, I hate to do this… but under the circumstances, we need you to show some kind of proof that you’re not behind this.
(Why haven’t we been to the interrogation room? Seriously. If the police doesn’t do anything, at this rate we’ll be dead in a week.)

Part 4

Hotel

Why am I still following these nerds.
I don’t like hang around dorks like these but I get free stuff.
_I hate it when Digoxin comes onto me, I don’t like that. I told him to stop, but he said in a really obnoxious tone “No”.
I regret coming.

Jace is dead.
I’m suspecting Burgerz being behind all of this because this guy was the only person in the Spoon Room. Wait, we have a entire room dedicated to spoons?

Oh well. Jace is dead and Burgerz I suspect. End of non-homosexual part.

~ The Raccoon

I just tired of this place, I will kill only to get out here!
Hey Dummkopf! I hate zis! I don’t vant to to be here anymore! Now zat Jace is dead, I run ze tracks
I was thinking Jace is the killer, but I was wrong!
Dumm vacations! Nothing ze brochure said zis!

Maybe the demon returns and is possesing me again to be gay!
Ugh… Zinking on zat make mein stomach squeasy

Spoon Room?

Vat zype of hotel is zis?

Skeletor-sm

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