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any tips for being good troll bait?

Last posted Sep 22, 2013 at 02:58AM EDT. Added Sep 15, 2013 at 12:53PM EDT
27 posts from 18 users

i’v seen the KYM video about that kid that was feeding trolls intetionally only to be the one trolling them…

sooo, being good at being absolutly terrible, i thought i aswell try too.
seeing people cringe is always something that i liked…

im thinking to post a video to youtube, disussing a very conteversial topic with the most cringeworthy and laughble way possible.

fedora, terrible cloths, hairdue, stutter talking with a bad accent etc…

it’s gonna be a bad rant video about how religious people are a plauge on the world and some such.

im shering this with you since you are the internet experts.
do you think it will work?
do you have any suggestions?

Sep 15, 2013 at 12:53PM EDT
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Just go around telling everyone that you like to see people cringe. I’m sure that will do something.

Sep 15, 2013 at 04:08PM EDT
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Jews suck, worst religion ever.
If you like religion, you’re a homo faggot.

Come @ me, you gay virgin!

Sep 15, 2013 at 07:37PM EDT
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Here’s your MAXIMUM TROLLING checklist:

1. Pick a religion (any one), support it and shit on all the others
2. Hate gays
3. Hate abortion
4. Claim 9/11 was an inside job
5. Claim the moon landing never happened
6. Claim the earth is flat
7. Explain why women shouldn’t drive
8. Explain why Hitler is a pretty cool guy
9. Discuss your love for Justin Bieber and Twilight
10. Claim that the best band in the world is Nickelback and that ACDC sucks
Bonus: Do all of this in just your underwear, a fedora and a neckbeard

Post your rant video here when you are done. We expect a delivery, OP

That should be all. Good luck.

Last edited Sep 15, 2013 at 10:55PM EDT
Sep 15, 2013 at 10:53PM EDT
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It’s got to be believeable. You must appear to be legitimately dense, arrogant, ignorant, and self centered. While at the same time, not being too obvious about your intentions to troll. Anyone can troll the casual youtuber. To troll a seasoned youtuber, you need to sell your trolling as if you don’t even realize what you’re doing. My advice: lose the fedora, and mix some of your personal beliefs with false ones to give it more emotion. Also, don’t say anything that is too outlandish as that will instantly scare away the fish.

Sep 15, 2013 at 11:17PM EDT

Just go to the Toonzone forums and say that you still like Spongebob despite the heavy decay the show has seen. On one thread, some unlucky Spongebob fan who seemed to genuinely still like Spongebob said that he still liked it, even with it’s frequent bad episodes and got such reactions as:

“Please tell me you’re being sarcastic…”

“Look, we don’t take kindly to trolls here.”

before the mods intervened.

Sep 16, 2013 at 12:30PM EDT
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Blue Screen (of Death) wrote:

Here’s your MAXIMUM TROLLING checklist:

1. Pick a religion (any one), support it and shit on all the others
2. Hate gays
3. Hate abortion
4. Claim 9/11 was an inside job
5. Claim the moon landing never happened
6. Claim the earth is flat
7. Explain why women shouldn’t drive
8. Explain why Hitler is a pretty cool guy
9. Discuss your love for Justin Bieber and Twilight
10. Claim that the best band in the world is Nickelback and that ACDC sucks
Bonus: Do all of this in just your underwear, a fedora and a neckbeard

Post your rant video here when you are done. We expect a delivery, OP

That should be all. Good luck.

i donnu man, most of your suggestions are kinda cliche and overdone. and claming the world is flat is outragous even for the dumber internet scrub.

i thougt that being an obnoxious elitist atheist could be interesting, i’ll rage about how religion causes all the wars and that religious people are mentally ill, giving insane yet real examples.

follow that with short sighted bigotry against jews and muslims and wrap it up by claiming how i am enlightened by my own superior intelligence intelligence

for my apearance ill make the messiest hair possible, put a straw fedora (that i got from germany) wierld a stick that i will pretend it as walking cane. could also possibly add sun glasses.

sounds like a good plan?

i will love to have more ideas, reading the entry about chris-chan really gave me an inspiration… i do not hope to achieve his kind of ‘fame’ but i will try everything i can…

Sep 16, 2013 at 05:46PM EDT
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Change your name to yolocreeper? It tends to attract the hate.

Sep 16, 2013 at 06:40PM EDT
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You must pick a social issue one would typically find people crusading for, cringeworthy sorts salted among them. Be very earnest, but make sure a part of your “argument” is logically fallacious in a way that would not be obvious to people who are new to logical argumentation. Basically, you need to appear as an “insistently naive moralfag”, getting really into it and giving off the impression that you believe that this rant (which sounds mostly angry, but gives off the faint sense of pleading) will have some effect other than attracting trolls. Once you’ve set the bait with your first rant, wait for the trolls to cast their own baited hooks, then tangle your line with theirs by engaging them in arguments via the comments, remembering to stay in character. Once their tangled, your imaginary fish will thrash for the trolls by making your next rant directed toward the trolls themselves, possibly coupled with an apology for your “more mature viewers” and “loyal subscribers”. Rev the engine on your boat up and lather, rinse, repeat the last step until you drag those suckers to shore and they realize they’ve been wasting their time. Just make sure you hit land before they realize what’s up, or right when you notice a wave of realization beginning to don on them (more tests would be required, of course, to determine the critical time frame for action, but for this, just follow your gut).

When you reveal yourself for the cannibal troll scum that you are, make sure your personality and demeanor significantly differ from when you are in character, preferably by starting with a character that is far removed from your true personality so that you may behave naturally and confidently in the reveal. Laugh, and laugh well at the trolls, picturing their faces as you do so.

As for a starting scenario, an example would be a fedora wielding, neckbearded “nice guy” type (whom you might expect to complain about being friendzoned by his female peers) who argues for gender equality because “women should be treated like ladies”; his argument would stem not merely from a naive desire to “help” with social issues, but also, unbeknownst to him, a subconscious desire to validate his “nice guy” behaviour. Is perfect troll bait, no?

Just remember to never back down when you’re arguing with the trolls; if anyone provides you with an opportunity to save yourself, dig in and bury yourself even deeper. Make the trolls feel like its just getting better and better for them. You are beyond hopeless, beyond saving, and you will “never learn”. Originally worthy of sympathy, until your continuous, stubborn behavior renders you worthy of none.

Hope I’ve given plenty of useful suggestions, OP. Modspeed.

Sep 16, 2013 at 11:51PM EDT
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ok guys, so after gathering all that you have said here’s what i’ll generally be saying in the rant video.

- will call my account brilliantswagger

-wear mismatched clothes, fedora, and sunglasses, hold a stick and wave around it constantly in a flaunting manner (i will not have a neckbeard because that itches like fucking hell, no thanks)

video title – religion is for retards

rant:

“hello youtubers, im brilliant swagger and this is my first rant video, if you have any opinions, please like and leave a reply.

so today i want to talk about religion – it’s fucking retarded. if you truely belive there is some imaginary friend that looks at everything you do and makes miracles for you, then you are mentally deseased!

there is no proof of this GOD, there is no proof any of what happened on the bibble (mispronounce in purpose) existed, then why do you keep thinking that shitting diarehea cumstained stories are true?

grow up fucking manchilderen and stop beliving every fairy tale old geezers tell you!

hell, religion is the reason why all these fucked things happened in our history, mooselems (mispronounce in purpose) did all the jeeyhads. WWII happened because of the jews! what about china? they are all budhists and look how they opress their people.

see? it’s just proof that religion fucks people’s brains up, i even heard stories about women being sloughtered because according to religion being hot is a crime! most of the rapists are religious because they are forbidden to masturbate, HOW CAN YOU STAY SANE IF YOU CANT RUB YOUR OWN FUCKING PENIS AND LET CUM GO OUT?

see? that’s my solid proof why religion is retarded

i dont need no stupid goddy to make me feel good about myself, i am enlightened by my own intellect.

i hope you enjoyed my rant, leave you agreeing comments and like the video. that was brillant swagger, have a nice day.

Sep 17, 2013 at 04:50AM EDT
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You should point out Christianity’s love for child abuse…
…dear celestia, I just insulted my own religion. Kill me now…

Sep 17, 2013 at 06:50AM EDT
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cmon guys i need more opinions.. why is this thread dead for 2 days already?

Sep 20, 2013 at 03:53AM EDT
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i wrote my rant down, i need opinions is its a good rant or not… =\

Sep 20, 2013 at 07:01AM EDT
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Jolly Jew wrote:

i wrote my rant down, i need opinions is its a good rant or not… =\

it really depends on how you act darling.

Sep 20, 2013 at 07:44AM EDT
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^

I can’t say for sure if your script will rustle some jimmies just by reading it myself. I need to see how well you execute it

Sep 20, 2013 at 08:09AM EDT
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well after just reading junks of it i can almost smell the trolling
you gotta be less obivous
say things like i don’t really like religion i think it is evil
come in on the topic of how, when and where religion have been the reason for bad events

but do not stand out or they will call you out as a obvious troll
with the rant you have now you might get a few small troll fish but if you want the big game you better step it up

Sep 21, 2013 at 07:24PM EDT
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Skeletor-sm

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