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You found a soup can...

Last posted Apr 09, 2014 at 11:15AM EDT. Added Mar 30, 2014 at 09:27PM EDT
19 posts from 18 users

kick it

Mar 30, 2014 at 09:43PM EDT

Well, what i do is hinged upon several variables. where am i when i find this soup can? am i at home? a friends home? randomly on the street? is the soup can opened or closed? if opened, how long has it been opened for? in either case, what is the flavor of the soup? is the can full or empty or somewhere in between? if full, is the soup hot or cold? is it a soup that’s meant to be served warm or chilled? are there people nearby? cameras? are there any utensils nearby that i could use to consume the soup if the soup is indeed edible? what am i wearing? am i wearing something that i would rather not get stained or something that can be dirtied, such as one of my painters’ smocks? or am i completely nude? what is the temperature like where i’m at? how big is the can of soup? is it only enough for one serving or is it something that i could share with others? if there is soup in the can, is there a bowl i can pour it into? if the can is empty, are there recycling bins nearby for me to dispose of the can properly? if not, is there at least a trash compactor or a trash can of any kind? is it morning? is it evening? am i in a hurry or can i afford to take the time to take appropriate action upon seeing the can of soup?

am i the guy on the toilet or the man making him uncomfortable?

Mar 30, 2014 at 09:48PM EDT

Actually dispose of it or kick it like a normal person.

Mar 30, 2014 at 10:52PM EDT

Take a crap in it and place it on someone’s doormat.

Apr 08, 2014 at 08:50PM EDT

Place it on my porch for the neighborhood dogs
But secretly kidnap the dogs and black market them

Apr 09, 2014 at 07:32AM EDT

Are there any bees in the soupcan?
There needs to be bees
If there aren’t bees, I’m not interested

Apr 09, 2014 at 11:15AM EDT

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