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kym: the middle ages

Last posted Aug 23, 2014 at 09:48AM EDT. Added Aug 20, 2014 at 12:28PM EDT
32 posts from 24 users

RandomMan wrote:

Those pursuing the act of equestrianism should perish under the black death.

Hark! For the will of the lord could not stop the horde menace, they stampede a thousand times like thunder, this barbarous practice. The great Khans of the east have united to amass an army of manes, the Golden Horde, sent as a punishment from God himself.

I have fought sheep that giveth more combat potency than thou
Filthy pig-milkdrinking rock-consuming Serf ’Cap

God above knows that I would relish in destroying though, but lo, my fists will only be infected with thine filth!

What is all this attention about these “Nights at the Festival of Fred” and the fur dressed, haunted jesters that perform there?

The village merchants have acquired more paintings about this tale in less then a fortnight then Paintings of Equestrians, Pouch Monsters, and even the Incredible Bash Brothers.

If I see more of these dreadful depictions of the jesters then I won’t be able to lay under darkness in sound peace, I might even have to start use of a candle just to rest.

Last edited Aug 20, 2014 at 03:37PM EDT
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Captain Blubber wrote:

ugh i can’t believe duke don made an entry about chamberpots. +1 dungeonpool

What the fuck is this shit.

I am the only Duke around here.

Hark there! I have returned from my journey to the distant lands of 4chan. I bringeth thee a mysterious and powerful dragon’s head which I have procured from the darkest dungeon within their most protected fortress. Do not gaze at it’s figure for too long or you may turn just as fowl as the beast that it was slain from!

Last edited Aug 20, 2014 at 05:45PM EDT

Duke Crabtree wrote:

What the fuck is this shit.

I am the only Duke around here.

It appears you are utterly disgruntled. Are you irate, brethren?

Last edited Aug 20, 2014 at 05:47PM EDT

What thou thread is this to have such blasphemous users, what thou are you, a peasant? I have slain dragons, germans, frenchmen, and arab devil across all 7 crusades, what have thine done? What a bunch of trembling bastards, you can thine shove pagan gods up the privy hole. Vile devil worshipping homosex, do thou even joust? Of course not, thou can’t even seduce wench. Just the other day I seduced 12 wenches whom I made into fine christian women. Can thou even make lustful wenches into fine christian women? Of course thou not! Peasant.

Chickenhound the Cruel wrote:

What thou thread is this to have such blasphemous users, what thou are you, a peasant? I have slain dragons, germans, frenchmen, and arab devil across all 7 crusades, what have thine done? What a bunch of trembling bastards, you can thine shove pagan gods up the privy hole. Vile devil worshipping homosex, do thou even joust? Of course not, thou can’t even seduce wench. Just the other day I seduced 12 wenches whom I made into fine christian women. Can thou even make lustful wenches into fine christian women? Of course thou not! Peasant.

What slanderous attacks hast thou thrown against my good name, thou contemptible wench? Whereas I have risen even unto the foremost rank in the Royal Admiralty; whereas I have on many an occasion partaken in clandestine crusades against the Saracens; whereas by mine hands have fallen barbarians numbering some fifteen score; whereas I am most skilled in the ways of the ape warrior; whereas I am the premier marksman amongst all of our Kingdom’s knights: Thou art in my sights but yet another quarry.

The Lord be my witness, I shall smite thee as no-one under the sun hath heretofore been smitten. Dost thou deign to fancy thyself secure to cast thy spittle upon my face from behind the Spider’s Veil? Then thou hast wandered into grievous error. Yea, even at this very moment, I am sending word across the land to my fellow Templars, and the provenance of thy scrivenings shall in short time become known unto me. A veritable maelstrom of vengeance is upon thy gates, thou wretched worm, which surely shall obliterate thy loathsome pretension of life. Truly, thou art foregone, child.

I move as swift as the wind, and with mine own two hands I may at my pleasure slay thee in any of thirty and five score modes. For verily as I am a master in the pugilistic arts, even so doth the manifold armory of the Royal Guard lie at my beck and call, which in its plenitude of power I shall not delay to unleash upon thee, that thy fœtid flesh may no longer pollute this land with its presence, thou pitiful putrescence.

Would that thou couldst have foreseen what great wrath thou hast by thy “brazen” jocosity summoned upon thyself! Perhaps thou wouldst have rather kept shut thy filth-spewing mouth. But neither couldst thou thus foresee, nor didst thou take heed of prudence, and thou art now reaping what thou hast sown, thou accursèd simpleton. I will excrete rage all round about thee, wherein shalt thou be consumed.

Thou hast shuffled off this mortal coil, urchin.
Source

Greetings my fellow knights,

I am the paladin that went on a crusade awhile ago. I have made this thread to announce the return from my crusade, and was hoping you could validate if my presence here was still remembered.

Skeletor-sm

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