California, March 27th, 2015.
A man by the name of Rodger McDickson wants to ban the English alphabet, because he finds writing with it too be too hard for sanity. His opinion was:
"Well, I'm white, therefore, I get to make rules. And my new court ruling is that the English alphabet should be banned and revoked, as it's too complicated to write, just like when we make new rules to ban gays and blacks".
The US congress agreed happily, as they were solving their issues to the Obama crisis via picture doodles. Most drew pictures of how to get rid of "unacceptable immigrants and terrorist to white culture", some where depicting concentration camps, slavery, and high-profile racism.
"These new rulings and ideas allow society to push backwards to the way we want it to be" Phil Nickleson said.
A few hours later, some planning was made for this new rule, including a debate, tic-tac-toe contest, and pin the tail on the donkey.
Around 78 people where invited to the debate, expecting many clashes and fights over the new ruling. Micheal Long John entered the debate with his short speech.
"For today, I, or we should say all, are welcomed to devise this new and important law! EARS. This is the English Alphabet Removal System, and is a bill to pass, in which, bans all forms of English symbols as an illegal form of torture!"
Phil nodded to agree with these rules ad the round table, along with Obama, whom was high at the time. He agreed to the congress new rule, and set a due date for the "anti-alphabet" bill on June 23, 2015.
Congress is also enforcing this bill, meaning no protests, website petitions, nor in-city riots and wars will stop it. They think no-one will complain, as the US is a perfect, colorful happy place.
Published by the automated KYM news press.