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Funny things you did as a child

Last posted Dec 04, 2010 at 12:49PM EST. Added Nov 26, 2010 at 07:29PM EST
47 posts from 29 users

Ask your parents about something you did funny as a child that you don’t remember and tell us, ex: I was talking to my dad the other night and he told me about this one time, when I was around 3 or 4 years old, that I put my cat in a backpack and then put in a dresser drawer (i always locked my cat up some where when I was done playing with it so I could find it later as a small child, don’t know why) my dad had walked past my bedroom door and he saw me sitting 5inches away from my t.v., in my underwear, eating a block of cheese(I had taken a whole pack of kraft singles and stuck them together) and he said “What are you doing?”, I just starred at him for a moment then went back to watching t.v., then heard the cat meowing and let it out and started laughing.

Nov 26, 2010 at 07:29PM EST

Jumped out of a pickup truck when i was 3……when it was on a 20 MPH road driving….my parents told me i had a pretty big gash from it….lol.

Nov 26, 2010 at 08:34PM EST

I wouled grab my dad’s beer and take a gulp. Aparently I did it because it was a bottle.

Nov 26, 2010 at 09:35PM EST

I think I was either three or four when I decided to write my own fairy tales. The only one I remember was called The Good King. A group of poor women cannot feed their babies for lack of money, so they go to the good king with their babies to beg. The good king says that only one of the women will have her children fed. Each of the women present their cases to the good king. Then the good king chops up all the babies and feeds them to his dogs.

What? Why are you looking at me like that? It’s political satire!

Nov 26, 2010 at 10:27PM EST

Are you (at least partially) German, HoH? Because a lot of German fairy tales have gruesome twists like that.

It’s all fun and games until a little elf comes along and eats your baby.

I watched the East German version of Rumpelstiltskin the other day, and the morals were pretty much “money corrupts you. You work for mother Russia.”
And also that a little creepy fucker would climb in yo’ windows and snatch up yo’ children if you didn’t like being in jail.

This version only has that pedophile leaving when his plot to kidnap a babby failed, but the original had him so angry that he tore himself in half.

Last edited Nov 26, 2010 at 11:06PM EST
Nov 26, 2010 at 11:04PM EST

Yes, actually. A descendant of German nobility, to be precise.

Nov 26, 2010 at 11:58PM EST

A friend of mine said she didn’t masturbate when she was little because she thought she would get pregnant. I also kicked my BFF out a tree.

Nov 27, 2010 at 12:02AM EST

I kicked Hitlers ass, because I am mother fucking Russianess, thats why!

Nov 27, 2010 at 12:05AM EST

Sweatie Killer wrote:

I kicked Hitlers ass, because I am mother fucking Russianess, thats why!

I didn’t know you are a woman.

Nov 27, 2010 at 12:13AM EST

Hyperborea Odyssea Hackeron wrote:

I didn’t know you are a woman.

Same with you sister.

Nov 27, 2010 at 12:30AM EST

i ran into a piece of gym equipment at my cousins house and got epilepsy… but that wasn’t really funny, but the funny thing is now i play video games 10 hours a day.

Nov 27, 2010 at 01:49AM EST

i played pokemon silver at 5 and i caught a ryhorn and named it horny because it had horns on it

Nov 27, 2010 at 02:21AM EST

tell the people what you did on your ruby myau with the starter.

Nov 27, 2010 at 02:33AM EST

i got a shiney treeko and i thought my game was broken so i reset it

Nov 27, 2010 at 02:40AM EST

I did a lot of stupid/funny things when I was a child.

One thing that comes to mind is when I was a kid (don’t know what age but I’d guess 3 or 4), I went up to my mom with something in my mouth and she wanted me to spit it out. It turns out, I put rocks in my mouth for some stupid reason.

Also, I used to walk around my old village with big sticks coz I thought that was the cool thing to do. Knowing Teddy Roosevelt’s famous slogan now, I can safely say that I was right.

Oh yeah, and I also used to call McDonald’s “McDonuts”.

Oh, childhood… how I miss thee.

Nov 27, 2010 at 02:59AM EST

my dad said cusswords when i was real little so when i went to school i said “AW SHIT!” “FUCK!!!”
good times

Nov 27, 2010 at 04:02AM EST

I ripped ears off bunnys, funny as hell watching them scream

Nov 27, 2010 at 05:44AM EST

This didn’t happen to me but it did happen to my sister. We went to the pumpkin farm and my sister wanted this big white pumpkin (she was about 5 or 7). So she carried it to my dad and, she could barely hold it. So he says “we can get that pumpkin if you want just go and put it down somewhere.” Knowing my sister she has to carry it everywhere or someone will take it, and so she walks off drops the pumpkin and, there is pumpkin all around the ground where she was and on her shoes. So my mom grabs her and runs away acting like my sister really wanted to go in the corn maze. My dad on the other hand grabs my brother and they walk off in the complete opposite direction. We tell this story every year at my sisters birthday. (I wasn’t born yet… funny as hell thow!)

Also my mom forgot me in a pot head music store once though.

Nov 27, 2010 at 12:35PM EST

I tried driving a dog and it bit off my upper lip.


Nov 27, 2010 at 03:26PM EST

I was throwing around a baseball with a friend, then a black dog passed by and started trying to get the ball from us, the ball got thrown between my legs just missing my crotch, the dog runs after the ball, I get head-butted in the crotch so hard that it makes me do a flip.

Nov 27, 2010 at 03:49PM EST

When I was three, my mother made a batch of cookies and unwisely left me alone with them. Apparently, I took one and bit it, but I didn’t like it, so I put it down and tried another one. And another one. And another one. When my mom came back, there was a plate full of cookies each with one bite taken out of them.

Nov 27, 2010 at 06:52PM EST

I walked in on my parents once. I just stood there in the doorway lol’ing. For, like, 12 minutes. My dad was all like, “Shut the damn door and get outta here son, get back to bed. FUUUUUUUUUUU-” My stepmom just turned the color of a thousand tomatoes.

They never had sex again.

Nov 27, 2010 at 07:08PM EST

I got born. For some reason… that pleased Mrs. Brisby.

Last edited Nov 28, 2010 at 02:09AM EST
Nov 28, 2010 at 02:06AM EST

Ashbot wrote:

I was throwing around a baseball with a friend, then a black dog passed by and started trying to get the ball from us, the ball got thrown between my legs just missing my crotch, the dog runs after the ball, I get head-butted in the crotch so hard that it makes me do a flip.

Sounds like every episode of America’s funniest home videos.

Nov 28, 2010 at 03:07AM EST

When I was teething, I would bite on the edges of coffee tables and doors. My mother thought she’d remedy this by putting hot sauce on my favorite biting places. However, this backfired on her, as I ended up liking the flavor and not only was biting on said places, but now sucking on them as well.

I love spicy foods.

Nov 28, 2010 at 10:48AM EST

My neighbor when i was five was a retired porn star… I got scared one day because i thought i was left home alone. It turns out my sister was asleep… and well I decided to go next door. (And for all you perverts nothing bad happened to me she was a very nice lady… SHE GAVE ME COOKIES!)

Nov 28, 2010 at 12:59PM EST

Once at chucrch when I was 5 I decided to pee on the wall next to the toilet instead of in the toilet and later when a kid tattled I said he was lying.

Nov 28, 2010 at 02:11PM EST

Bro: hey phil wana have some chips?

Nov 28, 2010 at 08:21PM EST

my mom put candy canes on the tree one time and i would not stop till i got every single last one!

Nov 28, 2010 at 08:26PM EST

Banged my stepsister before our parents got married. Same thing happened with my friend Bryan. lmao

Nov 28, 2010 at 11:33PM EST

ILuVKDyEr wrote:

Banged my stepsister before our parents got married. Same thing happened with my friend Bryan. lmao

THAT was my back to KYM suprise….?

Travis went back ta skewel, at least we got to see him for thanksgiving 8D

Nov 28, 2010 at 11:45PM EST

When I was about 7, I would constantly ask McDonald’s if they had ‘smashed potatoes’

>> if they had ‘smashed potatoes’
>> ‘smashed potatoes’
>> smashed

Last edited Nov 29, 2010 at 05:18AM EST
Nov 29, 2010 at 05:16AM EST

I used to walk around and flip peoples ears, screaming while I did it. I also used to say “I’m black and I’m proud!” All of the time. And I’m not even black D:
I was a weird kid apparently.

Nov 29, 2010 at 07:15AM EST

When i was about 3, i tried to make pancakes. In my bedroom.
Let’s just say I got egg in my hair

Nov 29, 2010 at 07:19AM EST

I cut the hair off dolls and colored there faces black. Even the collectables T~T

Nov 29, 2010 at 12:22PM EST

I think at the age of 5 or 4 I was addicted to the show wheel of fortune. You couldn’t pull me away from that show. This is how I learned my alphabet, because I would repeat every letter they said. I also had one of those wheels that if you pulled the lever that it would spin and make a farm animal noise. Apparently I got so excited that I pass out asleep.

Nov 29, 2010 at 02:06PM EST

@Jeane, I was actually referring to the time I hit Tyler with that brick. She was pretty banged up after that.

@Caps, I had wheel of fortune on SEGA Genesis….. I didn’t know how to play it though so I cried and shut it off.

Nov 29, 2010 at 03:41PM EST

My father’s a basketball coach. I found it funny to try to walk on to the court while they were playing. I was almost trampled many times. (I also found it funny to ask my dad what was the color of so-and-so’s clothes or that object over there. My father’s colorblind.)

And my brothers and I were just plain weird to begin with.

I think we might have been high on something that night.

Nov 29, 2010 at 04:06PM EST

I had a toy truck and a speech problem. My aunt took away the truck and I yelled, GIMME BACK MY FUCK!

Nov 29, 2010 at 06:25PM EST

Nov 29, 2010 at 06:28PM EST

I tried to pee on the playground. The teacher came over, and things got into a bit of a mess..

Dec 04, 2010 at 10:35AM EST

This wasen’t as a child but about a year ago.
I was talking to my coushion on facebook and I started saying stuff backwords.
I often said indeed but When I wrote it backwords I said deedin Instead of deedni.
Her reaction. :|

Dec 04, 2010 at 12:33PM EST

When I was 4 minutes old I crawled back into my mother’s vagina, I am now typing from there.

Dec 04, 2010 at 12:49PM EST

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