Every time you masturbate...God kills a kitten (1999)
added May 20, 2009 at 11:43PM UTC
About
According to this article from cardhouse.com the phrase “every time you masturbate, God Kills a Kitten” first appeared in print in BarFly magazine as the image below, prior to the year 2000.

Email from the originator, Jen Lane
Thanks for your interest in killing kittens, Chris. Yes, it’s true, that popular phrasing (of an old Catholic school joke) was originated by me, and immortalized in the pages of the first issue of BarFly Magazine, which came out in May 1999. It was one of the things that put BarFly on the map! It became an immediate fixture on fridges and backbars in Portland, and several people photocopied it, made stickers (including someone who re-set the type, misspelling masturbate, but leaving the BarFly tag on it, much to my chagrin), and variously disseminated it throughout Portland, and then, the rest of the world.That image is the same as the one that appeared in the first issue of BarFly, except somone whited out our logo, which appeared to the left of “think about it”. I’ll send you a scan of the original page, when I’m back in office, later today.
Please let me know if you have any further questions.
Your pal,
Jen Lane
BarFly
While the image began spreading at a local level IRL, the image eventually found it’s way on to the internet via email forwards, such as the one mentioned in the cardhouse.com article.
On Fark
By 2002, the phrase was lifted from the original picture, and applied to a photoshop of two Domo-kuns chasing a kitten on FARK.COM in 2002, where the meme essentially grew to world-wide popularity.
The original Fark thread appeared on November 28, 2002, entitled, "Photoshop a porn addiction “Get Well” card – link goes to a real card for the kitten killer in your life."
Google Insights for Search shows that “every time you masturbate” has shown a steady decrease since at least 2004.
Domo
The “Every Time You Masturbate” meme is sometimes cited as the vehicle by which Domo-Kun was introduced to the United States.
The Domo-kun character first appeared in 1999 as a mascot for Japan’s NHK Television, where he was used until 2004.
There are further signs of Domo’s popularity through the early 2000’s. Here is a papercraft Domo dating back to 2003.
In 2006, Nickelodeon licensed Domo-kun from NHK and began work on a Domo-kun series, planning to release it in early 2008. One spot was aired on Nickelodeon in the UK in 2008, although none have been aired in the US.
Although the popularity of the meme has waned far past its prime, “Domo” has continued to rise in popularity worldwide.
In the US in particular, Domo last peaked in popularity during October of 2008 when Target Stores used Domo for their Halloween Seasonal signage and seasonal merchandise, banking on his Internet popularity despite the fact that the Domo television series never aired.
More Info:
- “Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten” has also been utilized a religious anti-porn website XXXchurch.com
- Killing Kittens is a UK company, which hosts sex parties – their name was inspired by this meme.
Showing 1-14 of 14 photos
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Every time you masturbate...God kills a kitten
by FeatheredSun
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Every time you masturbate...God kills a kitten
by Fraser
11 Comments
Meme Details
Origin
BarFly mag and NHK Television
Year
1999
Tags
image macro, catchphrase, masturbation, masturbate, God, kittens, domo, satire, BarFly, Portland, zine, fark, farkism
















