Go Jump in a Goddamn Volcano, You Fucking Cave Newt

An Internet meme older than the World Wide Web, "Go jump in a goddamn volcano, you fucking cave newt" was a popular catchphrase on Usenet newsgroups in the 1980s. Originally written by Greg Nowak in a thread on the talk.bizarre "newsfroup" about pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, it proved so random and quotable, that it propagated widely through signature files and talk.bizarre's propensity for newsgroup invasions and crossposted flamewars.

curtis yavin, alt.peeves:

It's not known who first penned the immortal phrase, "Go jump in a volcano, you goddamn cave newt," though some scholars believe it originated on talk.bizarre. In any case, it has since become jargon in many of the less savory barrios of the net, with the approximate meaning:

"I would flame you, but you're not worth the time."

joshua geller, alt.magick:

in the immortal words of greg nowak:

go jump in a goddamn volcano you fucking cave newt.

Mr. Sweetness & Light, alt.food.waffle-house:

Gee Dumby, you need a clue? OK.
^[1]Go Jump In A Goddamned Volcano You Clueless Fucking Cave Newt.
HTH, Old #26.
^[1]ObAttrib: Greg Nowak.

Kevin L. McBride, comp.sys.amiga.misc:

In the meantime, please go jump into the nearest active volcano.
Fucking cave newt.

Till Poser, soc.culture.german:

So fucking what?

Now kindly jump into a volcano, You fucking cave-newt

with naturally curly hair, alt.angst:

Um, like go blame The American Heritage Dictionary if you don't like it…
or just go jump into a volcano, you fucking cave newt…

Lou Reed's Evil Twin, alt.sex:

I believe you've got this one wrong…allow me to correct you (and believe me…the sentiment is all there): Go jump in a goddamn volcano, you fucking cave newt.

Cujo, alt.astrology:

That certainly explains why I can't get any service at Miss Cleo's anymore.

Go jump in a goddamn volcano, you clueless fucking cave newt. (Greg
Nowak)

Curtis Yavin, alt.slack:

My guardian DAEMONS shall cancel your every posting, and DEFECATE upon it with THIRTY MEGABYTES of unfiltered, uncut CORE DUMP.

Go jump in a volcano, you goddamn cave newt.

talk.bizarre Steering Committee, talk.bizarre:

If you would like to jump in a goddam volcano you fucking cave newt,
be aspersed with anvils, or receive anesthesia via lead pipe, press 5.

Ken Johnson, alt.games.mornington.crescent:

CAVE-NEWT, VOLCANO, SPLASH, FIZZLE.

Cindy Parker, alt.tasteless.jokes:

You've won an all expenses paid vacation to that infamous volcano! ™

Cindy

- Say Hi! to the cave newt for us …

mikdope, alt.personals.calgary:

Dear
…
[X] cave newt [ ] Limbaughite [ ] punk [ ] monkey boy
…
It is recommended that you (Mark all that apply):
…
___ Find a volcano and take up lava diving.
…

Jamie Andrews, sci.philosophy.tech:

How is hostility identified in the context of written communications, such as through the mail or electronic bulletin boards?

Hmmm… how about "Go jump in a volcano, you goddam cave newt"?

Though its echoes persist, the next generation shows no signs of picking it up, so this meme seems destined to become a shared signifier of grizzled Internet denizens who're older than HTML.

A Man Beaten By Jacks, rec.gambling.poker:

If he thinks this newsgroup is unfriendly, he should have tried talk.bizarre
in the 80s (which had flamewars and newsgroup invasions the likes of which
have never been equaled by the young'uns today and where "go jump in a
goddamn volcano you fucking cave newt" was a friendly welcome)…

kevincar, soc.net-people:

… back in 1986- before there even WAS an Adobe Photoshop worth a crap…

sigh those were the days- when "Go jump in a volcano, U cave newt" really meant something.