Cringe - Peanut butter disproves evolution

An atheist man is startled in his sleep and wakes up. He screams. His wife asks him what's wrong. The only thing he can say is "P-Peanut butter, goddamn… PEANUT BUTTER EVERYWHERE!".

I can attest to this. It goes by many names: Jif, Peter, Skippy, but all the same, not a day nor night passes when I'm not haunted by its phantasmal presence. It's always there; watching, waiting for me to misstep.
I've been living in fear for six years now.