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IFYOU MURDER SOMEONE, BURY THE VICTIM 6-10 FEETUNDERNEATHA DEAD DOG BODY-SNIFFING HOUNDS WILL DIG UP THE DEAD DOG AND POLICE WILL THINK IT'S A FALSE POSITIVE zyzil tephnos sirisles dixiesaurer. an mongezeas gokudera love how Tumbir teaches us how to be perfect criminals Also, if you're burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that's suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It's easier to bury a head than a whole body and takes less time so you don't have to tell your neighbors, "Oh, I'm night gardening! Also, if a dog happens across it, it's more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex husband Another method is to put it into a septic tank They're a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA ...I didn't come up with these ideas, just what l've gleaned from reading on the internet. i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but f---, man the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge thanks tumblr Remember when you're at the crime scene to wipe down al surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious. If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won't get suspicious. This way you dont have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN IAFDGFHGKJHKHGFDSF I AM DONE Don't forget that the chances of being caught are greatly reduced if you murder someone who has no connection to you at all. Most murderers end up killing someone they know in some fashion so they're easily caught. Serial killers kill at random, hence why they can kill a lot before they screw up l am not a serial killer, honest I am seriously concerned for all of you please don't judge me for tagging this for future reference, IT'S FOR PURELY FICTIONAL PURPOSES OK 'M PRETTY SURE THE NEXT TIMEI SEE THIS POST, ADVICE ON BURYING BODIES WILL ADD UP UNTIL IT SUFFICES TO BE COMPILED AS A HANDBOOK H---------- a bitch: a guide by tumblr Ah, the murder post, I love this one!

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PYRO Beatrice

Dec 30, 2013 at 09:46PM EST

I wonder if having tumblr accounts can be a valid excuse to suspect someone of murder.

"The defendant/witness frequently goes onto the website tumblr. He/she even has an account. Therefore, it is reasonable to believe that he/she has the knowledge to commit murder!"

I could picture that in an Ace Attorney game. Yeah…

+48

S1MP50N (local AFOL)

Dec 31, 2013 at 01:21AM EST in reply to EvilandPink

Did your mom also tell you your dad left one day to get cigarettes at 7-Eleven then never came back?

+16

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