farktard

Fark meme only, AFAIK. Usually only pops up in “TFD” (the fee-based discussion section of Fark) when someone starts bragging about them being “all that and a bag of chips.” A lot of these pics posted here were used in a Fark Photoshop thread (which I believe is available to non-paying users). There are shoop-da-woops of this guy, as well. His unofficial title is “King Douchenozzle von Krunk.”

This has been around before the website in 1998. Bert was evil when I was still in high school… in 1988. He and his “friend” Ernie were also gay.

I would consider it a meme, even if it’s an old/dead meme…

Anyone else notice that Three Wolf Moon and Tuscan Whole Milk all have the abbreviation “TWM”?

Isn’t that weird?

So this lady speeds over a bridge in her town, and a cop waiting on the other side of the bridge clocks her speed and pulls her over. The cop says to the lady, “Do you know how fast you were going?” The lady says, “Sorry, it’s just that I’m late to work. I have an appointment to stretch someone’s rectum. You see, I’m a rectum stretcher!” “Rectum stretcher?” the cop replies, “What does a rectum stretcher do?” “Well, a rectum stretcher first sticks a finger in someone’s bum…then 2 fingers, then a fist, then 2 fists, and eventually, you stretch and pull until you get an asshole that’s about 6’ in size.” “What would anyone do with a 6’ asshole?” the cop asks. “Simple,” the lady replies. “Give him a radar gun and put him at the end of the bridge.”

I’m gonna whip out my ’80s albums RIGHT NOW!!!!!

There’s also the XKCD variant on this: SNAPE KILLS TRINITY WITH ROSEBUD

HI, BILLY MAYS HERE WITH KABOOM. DO YOU HAVE LOTS OF DIRTY SH*T IN YOUR HOUSE THAT NEEDS TO BE F*CKING CLEANED UP? THEN BUY SOME OF THIS GODDAMN KABOOM. THIS SH*T COULD CLEAN THE WARTS OFF YOUR SISTER’S VAGINA. YOU CAN PUT SOME KABOOM ON YOUR DICK, AND IT’LL GROW 3 INCHES. SON OF A SH*T!

IN A FEW MINUTES, THERE WILL BE A GODDAMN NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN. CALL THAT SH*T AND BUY SIX JUGS OF THIS F*CKING KABOOM AND WE’LL THROW IN A SAMURAI SHARK AND SOME GODDAMN ZORBEEZ. WHAT ARE ZORBEEZ? YOU BEST BE JOKING N*GGER. THOSE F*CKING TOWELS CAN SOAK UP LIKE A GALLON APIECE. YOU’LL PROBABLY NEED THEM AFTER YOU SHARPEN YOUR F*CKING SCISSORS WITH THE SAMURAI SHARK. BECAUSE YOU’LL SIMULTANEOUSLY SH*T, PISS, AND EJACULATE IN YOUR PANTS. HOW DO YOU PISS AND EJACULATE AT THE SAME TIME? F*CK YOU THAT’S HOW. CALL ME NOW AND I’LL STOP YELLING. NEVERMIND I CAN’T, SO GO TO HELL.

CALL 1-800-781-7529. TELL ’EM BILLY SENT YOU YOU F*CKING SKIDMARK.

Heh, yeah, this is kind of a small meme. There are a few variants, but I haven’t seen many. I will post the one I have (anigif).

Also on the fence. I think that might have me moving towards the “meme” camp is the whole “Where Is Your God Now?” bit.