FunkPumpkin

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Location: Interwebs

Joined Oct 06, 2011 at 05:49PM EDT


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Commented on 2ad.jpg

I’m far from being a troll. If you doubt me, please look at my other submissions.

What DOES amuse me is the hyperbolic reaction to something I posted as a 5-minute-work-break goof. My youngest son coerced me to watch a shit-ton of Kim Possible in his youth, so I thought this was mildly amusing and I posted it on a lark.

Millenials, fucking get over yourselves. If Boomers and Gen-X hadn’t existed, your entitlement-seeking asses wouldn’t have the Internet or smartphones/tablets. All your generation is notorious for is being unemployed and social-media bitching. Digestive fiber adds bulk to a poo, but it has very-little nutritional value. Millenials are, so far, digestive fiber to the economy.

Believe it or not, corporations DO have a hiring bias towards Millenials because they can now hire PhDs for what they used to pay a GED to wring out the CEO’s daily cum-sock.

I not only wrote part of what you think as “OS gravity” in computer terms, but also harbor children who use what I wrote. I don’t talk about that with them, largely because it bores the fuck out of them.

Thumb-down my anonymous individuality? IDGAF. Thumb-down my company? Easy, I just hire someone/something to crowdsource-for-profit to boost our image. Look, I have a sense of humor. I occasionally post here for fun. If you don’t like it, you get what you pay for it. :|

Apr 30, 2014 at 10:39AM EDT

Commented on 07e.jpg

Thanks for all the comments and likes. I have a myalgic disorder that occasionally requires me to use a cane. Being far-younger than your average cane user, I felt odd using one with my attire, at that time. So I began dressing up to feel better about being youngish with a cane. :)

Thankfully, I rarely use my cane anymore, but I still wear the hats when I dress appropriately for them. Nothing looks worse than Bermuda shorts, a “Jersey Shore” shirt, and a f***ing “nice” hat. Straw hats are for summer and/or hot climates. Wool hats are in-season in all seasons other than summer. Wool hats look so much classier, IMO, so I wear them as long as possible into the summer season.

I own two wool bowler hats (one black, one brown), one black wool homburg, and a straw trilby. I’ve customized the bowler hats with custom hatbands, with the black bearing a jacquard ribbon hatband, a hand-tinted feather, and a question-mark brooch from the 1920s; I have a silver concho hatband on the featherless brown bowler. I enjoy wearing them when I’m wearing a proper collared-shirt and dressier shoes. In the summer, as long as I’m wearing a collard-shirt with whatever, I wear a straw trilby that suits these hot and humid Missouri summers.

My next hat acquisition? A black coachman hat. Nobody wears a stovepipe unless they’re Lincoln impersonators or a steampunk devotee begging for attention. ;)

Apr 29, 2014 at 06:40PM EDT

Commented on My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

This site has literally thousands of views per day. Compared to the hundreds-of-thousands and millions other similar sites enjoy in the same time period.

Please smother this site with a pillow and put it out of its misery. You are teh fail incarnate. (typo intended)

Mar 17, 2014 at 02:59AM EDT

Commented on EVE Online

As an ancient, quasi-wealthy bastard (read: made enough for retirement, but not enough to drive anything other than econo-box cars, pay off my mortgage in one-shot…

…and been out-of-work for close to a year now) tech guy who honestly wrote software that most of you used ubiquitously as teens…

… in other words, a fucking has-been, I love using ellipses. hehe

That aside, anyone who pays for anything beyond the cost of the game, the DLCs, and perhaps a few trinkets beyond that has too much money and/or too little understanding of how to use it. Buy what you need and save/invest the rest. My econo-box shit-car parked nicely next to NSXes and 550 Maranellos for over a decade, but about the only thing I’d spend $200,000+ on would be a tag-team one-nighter with both Sofia Vergara and Julie Bowen. Either that, or Spencer Pratt’s skull, steam-cleaned and made into a soup-bowl, Ed Gein-style. (Hey, even I should be able to enjoy my morning’s Lucky Charms in fabulous style as I look over the want-ads. I hate not working, before you ask.)

I hope they make this banker-player, who racked up this multi-hundred-thousand dollar bill due to a game, pay his bill in full. If he doesn’t, take his ass to bankruptcy court. He made the commitment, all legal-like and everything, so make him pay for being a suck-ass “big player”.

This shit is just crazy to me, but then again, to each their own. As long as they can pay for their online egos, I guess. :|

Jan 30, 2014 at 03:31AM EST

Commented on 1a6.jpg

Fixed and reposted. Typo in the original. blush

Jan 18, 2014 at 04:10AM EST

Uploaded an image to Kony 2012.

Kony 2012
Sep 20, 2013 at 10:45AM EDT

Commented on 897.jpg

The dude on the left has a quasi-fedora/homburg/fully-awful hat. The one on the right is wearing a Trilby.

Fedoras suck (except when I’m wearing a cloth-weave one while I cut the lawn in friggin’ August… the only time you’ll see me in one), but that’s mostly because they’re misused by ignorant douchebags.

Cloth-weave Trilby hats are great for summer, but they also look a little douchey if you don’t at least wear a collar-shirt with them. (Yes, I have done that. Mostly because I refuse to wear baseball caps any longer. These hats keep your head cooler and protect you better from the sun than baseball caps. Truth.)

Aug 26, 2013 at 05:49PM EDT

Commented on e9c.jpg

That’s not a fedora, but a trilby. Get yer shit straight before you poke fun, cretins.

(And I’m not saying he doesn’t look like a douche. I’ll post a user-guide-for-KYM-idiots so y’all can get yer hat-types correctly identified.)

Aug 26, 2013 at 01:11PM EDT

Commented on 2b7.jpg

That’s not a fedora, but a trilby. Get yer shit straight before you poke fun, cretins.

Aug 26, 2013 at 01:10PM EDT

Commented on 28b.png

That’s not a fedora, but a trilby. Get yer shit straight before you poke fun, cretins.

Aug 26, 2013 at 01:09PM EDT

Commented on e71.jpg

That’s not a fedora, but a trilby. Get yer shit straight before you poke fun, cretins.

Aug 26, 2013 at 01:08PM EDT

Commented on 2ad.jpg

-12?! Is that all you’ve got, ya’ butt-hurt fanboys?! I want this image to be -100 by the weekend!! 555

Aug 09, 2013 at 02:30AM EDT

Commented on a85.jpg

Nice job posting my BLB image as your own. KYM has been notified. Thanks a million, buddy!

Aug 07, 2013 at 06:24AM EDT

Commented on 2ad.jpg

It really cracks me up how this image has quickly become my least popular ever! I didn’t realize there were so many sad fanboys still jerkin’ it to fanporn images of Kim Possible. LOL!

I watched OAG’s “blind date with Bad Luck Brian” vid and thought her hair reminded me of Kim Possible. So I slapped this image together one night when I couldn’t sleep and was looking for ways to kill time. :)

Aug 07, 2013 at 03:47AM EDT

Uploaded an image to his profile.

232.jpg
Jul 13, 2013 at 11:09PM EDT

Commented on e5c.jpg

These children leave the safety of home every day….it is our job to return them home, safely. Let’s start making schools a “safe zone”….and not just show up for photo ops when kids die. Lead, or get out of the way.

Thoughts and prayers to all involved…..I just cannot grasp your agony……Chief Oliver"

praying for our country and for those affected by this tragedy

Dec 17, 2012 at 10:54AM EST

Commented on e5c.jpg

So….we had another mass killing at a school. Innocent children….angels…. gone. I have said it for years, to anyone who will listen. It is time to direct tax money to every school in this nation. It is time to make our schools secure. The time for talk is done….it was done YEARS ago. There should be NO one in the building during the school day except for staff, students and police. Dedicate a secure room/vestibule near the entrance for conferences or meetings with parents. Set a perimeter of cameras and locked doors, so these kids can be safe….the teachers can be safe….and the building can function as a school and not a murder scene.

Fed and State elected people, nationwide, listen up…..You have taxed beyond belief. You have attempted education reform numerous times and failed. You are failing children and teachers in a way now that is reprehensible….and they are dying. Stop lining the pockets of your lobbyists and start securing these schools. If you can fund the study of methane gas released by cattle, you can damn sure make these schools safer. And yes, it is on you. You have taxed at a federal and state level so much; you have caused the locals giant issues with passing ANY taxes.

(to be continued)

Dec 17, 2012 at 10:53AM EST

Commented on e5c.jpg

On the other hand….my gun enthusiast friends need to simmer a little. The talk of “criminal" or "gun free zones” is also a little dramatic. The world is not collapsing. There are not bands of roving killers who prey on people because they enter s store or buildings where guns are not permitted. Teachers should not be armed in a school. I do not want teachers having the responsibility of being in a shoot/don’t shoot scenario or worrying about proper backdrop. We constantly work those scenarios and they are unnerving at best. Mrs. Crabtree should not have to worry about breaking out her Glock while also trying to give directions to 25 screaming 1st graders. Additionally, a small fraction of the gun people who “talk the talk” about what they would do in a life or death situation would most certainly not “walk the walk”. It’s very easy to say or type “If I was there with my concealed carry, I would have killed him”….it’s not so easy to put that play in motion. Many would shoot themselves in the leg, and then urinate. Again…that’s a fraction of the gun people, so don’t come unglued.

(to be continued)

Dec 17, 2012 at 10:52AM EST

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