Location: Computer Screen
Joined May 18, 2012 at 07:54PM EDT
This riddle is grammatically ambiguous, because of the use of present tense.
First, it uses present tense (you wake up, it’s your parents!) to tell the story. Is this happening now, or did it happen before?
Then, it uses present tense to ask the question (What is the first thing you open?) Which leaves us wondering, when do you mean? First since the beginning, or first after the end? What does “first” mean?
If the story is irrelevant, and you mean “first ever ever” then my answer is “the womb”.
If the story is relevant, and you’re asking for the first thing since your story began, then obviously the answer is “my eyes”.
Both of those assume that the storyteller is using the present tense to indicate something that happened in the past. But if you’re asking for the first thing you opened since the story ended, assuming that this is happening NOW, then the answer can be jam or honey, or even a magazine, because dammit, it’s my life!
Thus the riddle has SEVERAL answers, depending on what the asker was THINKING. And since you can’t know that, violá, you’re a giraffe!
Lost it at spooky scary skeletons.
They probably got the number from their target’s friend earlier. Not too difficult a prank, albeit creative.
Take time to be a dad today
BECAUSE TOMORROW YOUR SON WILL WEEP OVER YOUR DEAD BODY.
Horrifying acne: NO
Cluttered basement: NO
Superimposed fictional character: NO
Bad fan-character: NO
Exaggerated pose: NO
Lousy costume: NO
Trench coat: NO
Overpowering black motif: NO
Poorly photoshopped: NO
Final verdict: OK
This is a legitimate gripe. Though CN is probably the smallest offender.
I ain’t goin nowhere.
Don’t believe what you read on the thread simulator thread.
I don’t get it. They weren’t so terrible.
THE GAMES BUT NOT THE CAAAAAARDS!
I think that the authors, due to small sample size, are not able to generalize their results to any population whatsoever.
I’ll agree once you upload a video of yourself reading Jabberwocky backwards by phonemes.
Uploaded an image to Homestuck.
That was incredible.
I didn’t understand a word of it, but I don’t even care.
Ah, the story of Lucas Starkiller…
“I don’t mind calling on you to believe that he was ready for a good broad field of strange appearances, and that nothing between a baby and rhinoceros would have astonished him very much.
“Now, being prepared for almost anything, he was not by any means prepared for nothing.”
- Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol.
It’s all an elaborate prank?
Sounds like a few people on KYM need to change up their subreddit subscriptions.
You guys realize that there was a Pokemon war, right?
Not to mention there are VERY FEW grown men in the original Red/Green/Blue.
Could Red’s father be just another casualty?
They are a notable group to be sure… but not one I feel like promoting or disparaging.
Reminds me of
The image gallery is like Middle School all over again.
He had to find a way to keep from peeing his pants.
I wouldn’t worry. The Power Rangers must have caught him by now.