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Granted, you get arrested for possession of illegal substances.

I wish I had QA testers for my game. . . Maybe I should start asking around.

Granted, but you continually forget to ask around and the only QA testers you have sound like 12-Year-Olds "Debating" Playstation or Xbox.

I wish I. COULD. DRINK. YOUR. MILKSHAKE!!1!1!

Granted, but now you bring the boys to the yard.

I wish for Swedish Fish.

Granted, but you ate swedish people dressed as fish.

I wish for a bird named Harold

Granted, but IT IS A SEAGULL.
I wish for nothin'.

Granted, but your mom is crying, since you didn't wish for Blu-Ray

I wish for a Tomoko body pillow

Granted, but it has semen stains all over it.
I wish for a Blu-Ray.

Granted, but your mom wants an X-Box One now

I wish for the best burger

Granted, you get a hamburger from Nasty Burger

I wishthat I was Robo Cop

Granted, but your made out of an old broken arcade cabinet

I wish Tupac came back to life.

Granted, but he requires sacrifices after he returns. The only sacrifices that will be allowed are ones of little babies and children. In addition, you must sell your soul to him and give your brain to him and get him world domination. You could've stopped it, kiddo.
I wish for a dramatic corruption like above.

granted, its very boring corruption that causes people to sleep when they read your post.

I wish for Strangerhood season to be real

Granted, but I don't know what that is so all the characters are replaces with cats wearing funny hats

I wish that Shrek was real and not a rapist

Granted; he's a tweaker and a pedophile.
I wish that Shrek was fake and FUCKNUGGETS.

Granted; fucknuggets fuck you.

I wish for the Philosopher's Stone

Granted, it's a rock owned by Plato.

I wish for Play-Doh.

Granted, but you get jumped by pre-schoolers

I wish for a talking monkey side-kick who doesn't have AIDS and is not retarded and isn't violent.

Granted, but he dies shortly after you get him. It was the saddest moment of your life.

I wish for my lifelong dream of becoming a mod to come to fruition.

Granted, but you stub your toe and overreact by committing mass genocide you monster

I wish I had ice cream

Granted, but DICKWEED.
Wish I might, wish I may, you wish your life away

Granted, but poetry is for losers

I wish for a copy of X-Com: Enemy Within

Granted, it's water damaged.

I wish for 5 gallons of Gasoline.

Granted, you get a free lit match for your purchase

I wish I had a sandwich

Granted, but once you take your first bite out of it, you receive news that someone who was just starting to eat a sandwich assassinated Santa Claus. Everyone looks towards you. Guess where you are now? Prison. Watch your corn-hole, pal.
I wish for CAPTAIN FAGGOT WHERE ARE YOU?

Granted,he's on steam doing something.

I wish for everything.

Granted, everyday most of your stuff is stolen simply because people didn't know it was yours.

I wish for another soda.

Granted, but it's Japanese and you don't know how to open it

I wish I was the very best like no one ever was

Granted, Hirokazu Tanaka sues you under the claim of copyright infringement.
I wish everything was green and submarine

granted

I wish for MOAR TRANSFORMERS THREADS!

Granted, so much transformer threads are made that the moderators forbid any discussion of it afterwards
I wish for an eyeball mask

Granted, but I really wanna post this picture And the mask looks dumb

I wish that I had a funnier GIF

Granted, you never get an appropriate chance to use it, which greatly diminishes the comedic value.

I wish for chicken fried steak.

Granted, but it was cooked by a mentally handicapped monkey who barely knows how to move without flailing his arms around, so you ended uo with a raw steak with some chicken taped to it with some monkey piss on the steak for added flavour.

I forgot my wish. My wish is to become a black comedian who is white

Granted, you are now Micheal Jackson
wish for mah butter

Granted, but you drop on a 12 year old who is off his pills

I wish Willy Wonka came to my house

Granted,you have to suck his dick.

I wish for paradise.

Granted, but it's a paradise for pedos. The island is full of sexually promiscuous 6-year olds who want you so hard. The cops stormed the island and you were arrested for child abduction and possible rape. You were shanked in your sleep while in prision.

I wish I had a device that made things edgier on a scale to "Spongebob" to "OW THE EDGE"

Granted, but you are Forever Alone.

Derpy McHerplyFlerp: Granted, everyone keeps bothering you about borrowing it and you never get to use is on what you want.

I wish for coffee.

Granted, but your coffee was made by a porn star, who likes his coffee how he likes women.

Full of semen.

I wish for a combustible lemon

Granted; your house gets burnt down, with the lemons

I wish I had a lawgiver.

Granted, it goes missing and you figure out the person who took was GARY FUCKING OAKS!

I wish mai waifu was real

Granted, she tries to kill you for food
I wish I owned pretty much every console that exists

Granted, but only the Virtual Boy works. Happy gaming!
I wish that I knew how to tell people how I feel about them.

Granted, but you can only do this while rubbing your crotch.

I wish Morgan Freeman was immortal and narrated my life

Granted, you slip into a coma and therefore don't need much narration.

I wish for a Sassy Gay Friend.

Granted, but he has cerebral palsy and crippling depression and only acts sassy when on heroin which is only making him die faster.

I wish my dick has helium inside it so I can fuck people up

Granted, it ends up exploding painfully 5 seconds later after your wish was granted
I wish i was not broke at the moment

Granted, you're broke IN the moment.
I wish I could decide on a cosplay to do.

Granted, you decided to cosplay as Gundam and ended up wasting 1,000,000$ that could've fed forty families.

I wish new Dante exploded into original Dante