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Granted, but all of your pilots have no training and always crash the planes they're in.

I wish for Gabe Newell to be my husband.

Granted, but no matter how hard you try, he won't start working on HL3.

I wish I was more active.

Granted, but some how it makes you less productive.

I wish for peanut butter.

You get a buttered peanut.
I wish I could peer into scott cawthon's mind.

Granted, and you find blood and muscle.

I wish for dank memes.

Granted, but the over saturation makes them go the way of Arrow to the Knee.

I wish for a bunny rabbit that'll love me

Granted. It's a monster bunny that love beating you.
I wish I have a cup of water.

Wish granted, you now have a cup of burning hot steam.

I wish for a glass wall

Granted, the glass wall came out from the sky and it shattered.
RIP Glass Wall 2015-2015
I wish for a roller coaster ride.

Granted, the roller coaster shakes you off it and you fall to death

I want to destroy every russians planes

Wish granted, but Putin is vengeful and looking for your blood

I wish for a handshake with my elbow

Granted. Your arms shrink until your hands are where your elbows used to be.

I wish for memes dank.

Granted, but you accidentially smoked it

I want to rob a bank

Granted, a sperm bank.

I wish for cotton candy.

Wish granted, but you have to go back in time to get slaves to pick it.

I wish for I wish for

Granted. It is granted.

I wish for holy terra to be purged of all heresy!

Granted, but they are purged all emotion and become lifeless

I wish for oppiste day to happen right now

Granted, but this wish is not the opposite of your requested wish, so you wish for opposite day to not happen.
Opposite day doesn't happen right now.

I wish Obama got his eyelash stuck on his eye and had to get his eye removed.

Granted. They replace it with a cyborg super eye that allows him to see the future, and he takes over the country forever.

I wish I was a character in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.

Granted. You get killed by a steamroller curtesy of Dio Brando
I wish my drill could pierce the heavens.

Wish granted, but heaven does not exist nor does god, your drill falls from the sky and lands on a orphanage killing 7 people.

I wish that my Spanish grape juice would last forever

Granted, but every time you drink it some will spill on your shirt.

I wish that I could be a Jedi and still keep my hands and legs.

Granted, hope you're not too attached to your face and internal organs.

I wish for a chimichanga.

Granted. However it's so badly made, that you vomit it up.

I wish yelling_into_the_void doesn't vomit on me.

Granted, he vomits on Hackenbacker, who then vomits on you, causing you to vomit on Cupur, who vomits back on you and beats you up. You then vomit on Hackenbacker, who vomits on yelling_into_the_void. It continues until you die.

I wish I could be persistent.

Wish granted, but you're not constant.

I wish that I didn't hurt Aegisar Boulange :c

Granted, You kills too many Nazis and Aegisar is German

I want to eat DONut like Polices

Granted. You get Don in donut form and get shot down immeidately becaue you just commited cannibalism.

I wish for the end of the world as we know it.

Granted. You get a copy of the song by green day.

I wish to be less lazy.

Wish granted, but the Gang and I noticed that a real person wishing to be lazy would not even bother to post it…Meaning the Old man Quavalin is really Pulls of cube mask thingy THE EVIL SWAMP GHOST!

I wish I had a iHad by Happle

You get a Ihad, but it breaks when you touch it.

I wish myLOL would be shut down by the FBI.

Granted, but myLOL comes back up under a new name, myLEL, and the FBI can not do anything against it. They decide to take it a step further and arrest the creator.
Plot twist, you made myLOL, and are arrested and sentenced to death. Good luck.

I wish Apple products were literally apples.

Granted, unedible apple.

I want to burn Freddy Fazbear's pizza

Granted, you burn the pizza and only the pizza.

I wish for 18" tires.

Granted. Countless 18" tires begin raining from the sky, destroying society as we know under the sheer mass of tires.

I wish you would stop yelling into the void, mister yelling into the void. Yell at somrething else for a change.

Granted, now you find out the hard way I was yelling into the Void for a reason.

I wish for a Ziploc bags.

g̴̨͡͡r̸͟à͜͜͝n̢͢ţ̶̨̀ę̀͜͞d͏̢,̛͡ ̛͝͏͏y̸̷͝ǫ̀͜u̕͞͏̴̀ ̡̀̀͠g̴̸̡͘e͝t͘ ̴̸̸a҉̷͠͝ ̛̕b̨͟͢͠o͘͟͡d̵̸̛͠ỳ̷͘͜͠-̵s̷̡̕͟͢i҉̶͜z̴̛͝ę͏d҉҉͡ ̶͟͜͞z̶͡í̀p̧͝ļ̨́̕ǫ̴̵͠҉ç͡ķ̀͠ ̸҉͏͜͏b̴̡̧́͞ą̨̛͘͝g͏̴̀͠.̵̴̧͜ ̶̧̢̢͝T̀͘͠h̛͡á̷̀t̸̶̨̛͝,̷̨ ̸̸̨̀͞o̸͝͝f́͟͡ ̶̶̷̧͘c͏̨͢ǫ̧͢͏͏u͏r̨͘s̢͟͝é̷͢͠,̶͜ ͝͏̢̀m̶͏̴͏̵a̶̡̧̨t̸̨̧̀͠e̷̶͘͢r̶͘͏̵̡i̵̕͢͝a͜͞͝͠l̵̀i̶̸̡z̴͟e̢͜͠͞s̴̸͘ ̵͠͡͠a̶̷̡͠͝r͟͠ò̧͝u̸͠͡ń̴̡d̨̛͜ ̨̀͡á̵́͢l̡̀͞͡r̵͠e̸̶a͝҉̸͡d̛͡͞͝͠ý̢͘͏ ̸̡s͏͝͏͟e̵̢à̡̕l̴̷͞ę̴̶d̸̷̢̡͝.̢̕
̴͝͝͏
̡͏̧̛͟Į̵̴̴͠ ̵̸͟͢w̨i̷̛̕͞͞s͢҉͜͜h̴̸̸͞͠ ̧̧̨͝t̨̧̀́o̴̢͘͡ ̕҉҉̧ó̵̡b̛͜҉̨͟t̀͜͠a̸i͘͟n̷҉͏͞ ̛͜b̴͜͜͠͝l̸͝ò͜o҉͟͞d̸̡́͞͏ ̸̴̸̧f̡͢ó̸͘ŕ̨ ̢ţ̷̴̧h͞͝é̷̶͟͡ ̵͡҉̸͟b̶̷l̡҉̴̷ơ̕͢͡͡o̧̢d̸̀̀̀ ̸̢G҉̡͜o̧d́͘͝,̸́͘͠ ̧͘ą̡̡͜n҉҉d̸̷̨͘͡ ̸̨͞s͟k̷̕͘͜͜u̸͏͝҉l̸̸͜ĺ̢s͏̨҉̕ ̛͡f̸̢o҉҉̧r̴̢̛̕͞ ̀̀͡҉̷ţ̛͟͜h̨̧͢͝͡e̷̸̶͠ ̶̛͘s̷͏̛̛̀k̵̨̡͠u̕͏̵̛͝ĺ̶̕͞l̷͜ ͢͜t̛̕͟h̢͞r̨̀͜ǫ̡̛҉n҉̷è̷.҉̴̢̧̀

Granted, but the blood is really gangster who thinks you are a Crip and you a get bullet pop' in yo ass

I wish for a pond

Granted, You get a liquid cyanide pond.

I want to join Grove St.

You join tha grove, but right after you join it CJ recruits you to steal a jet from area 69 and it does not end well.

I wish lisa lombardo would marry me.

Granted, but she divorced you and takes all your memes thanks to a sexist judge

I wish we could all be friends!

Granted. Without any wars, the world grows unprepared, and while everybody is hugging the combine invade.

I wish bryan see would come back.

Granted, but he misses his family up in heaven and commits suicide to return to them, due to this you fall into a depression induced coma

I wish for a splinter

Granted, but it's shaped like Sam Fisher and it begins to dig its way into your body, moving around in your skin. Eventually, it reaches your heart, planting a C4 charge, exfiltrating through your urethra, and detonating the charge. Mission accomplished, you get $50,000 for completing the mission without setting off any alarms.
But you're dead, so the $50,000 goes towards a shitty wooden casket with termites all over.

I wish I was funny.

Granted. You become all that funny.

I wish op would stop sucking dick.

Granted, but he instead eats dick.

I wish for dank maymay arrows in the next post

Granted, the next wooden post you build in a impoverished area to give those them power will give you some sweet sweet karma

I wish we could make a inside joke within Corrupt a wish, so that when newfags try and shitpost on this forum we have a reason to feel better then them!

Granted. No one get's it anyway.

I wish for the Adeptus Custodes to put some damn armour on.

Granted. However, it's nothing more than an armour-like bikini.
I wish I got all de pusi b0ss.

Granted, but you get attacked by Weeaboo Jones in the process.

I wish to have GTA V for PC.