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Granted. The Portal is the front door of a house.
I wish Angelirio was fully flesh and blood once more so he can remember what it is like to be human.

Granted, but I hate it and immediately replace the weakness of the flesh with the perfection of the machine.

I wish for archeotech.

Granted, have your archeotech pistol that only shoots water and is made in china.

I wish for new shoes

Granted. It's a child's toy, but it's archeotech.
I'm rather hungry right now, so I wish for a meatball sub sandwich from Subway and a bottle of water.

GRANTED!

You receive a Subway meatball sub sandwich… that went bad a few weeks ago. On the bright side, the accompanying bottle of water looks OK.

I wish for an intact and functional cardboard box containing 100 1-cm diameter stainless steel ball bearings, each of them not attached to anything else.

(My volt driver needs ammo and those mutants ain't gonna kill themselves.)

you get a box of stainless steel ball bearings, but you trip and died when you open the box.

I wish for nothing.

You get nothing forever, you're trapped for eternity in an endless void.
I wish that my wish of eternal love and wealth goes wrong.

Granted, you wish for eternal hate and poverty instead. You also get immortality.

I wish that the Big Gete Star allowed me to cheat death.

You get it, but the events of Dragon Ball Z: The Return of Cooler happen
I wish that the God-emperor stays in his throne forever.

Granted, the God-Emperor does stay in his throne forever, but he becomes so powerful that he kills all daemons within 10 × 10^100 light years.

I wish that Rooster teeth released a RvB and RWBY crossover episode.

Granted. But it's comedy filled chibi version that is non canon drawn in marker.

I wish that Angelirio and his gang would stop breaking into my house.

Granted, instead of breaking into your house with my gang I break into your house with my family of 1000 bratty robots, one sassy robot, and my beautiful baby, the H.A.T.E. sword.

I wish I had an alternative to selling my soul to the Void Dragon.

You sell your soul to Nebu instead.
I wish I had an unlimited dose of NZT-48

Granted, but now you are addicted to NZT-48.

I wish I can live in a world that is made out of cabbage and everything in that world is plaid.

Granted, You are now wearing VR goggles that makes the world looks exactly like that.

I wish Monty Oum was still alive.

Granted… but he will never be the same Oum as the one before.

I wish I was dead.

Granted… But you end up in an afterlife where everyone is so happy, that it would annoy literally anyone.
I wish Caesar was still alive.

Granted…. Wait, Emperor Julius Caesar or Caesar from the Planet of the Apes?

I wish I had a pet Octopus.

Granted, but he the octopus never forgave you for stopping him from attacking the Pillar Men living a quite life with his wife and children.

I wish that Coues would actually contribute to fights rather than sit and watch at a distance.

Granted, but he fails at giving any help and gets hurt all the time.

I wish that Nebu would clean up her room for once.

Her definition of clean is the opposite of cinder's idea of clean

I wish for more memes.

All of them are bloody and edgy.
I wish to make excellent draws.

Granted but you'll never get to see popularity shine onto you.

I wish for a friend.

Granted, I am also your lord and boss who enslaves you
I wish nebu learned not to summon horrors from beyond just to eat them.

Granted, but your evil ways are gonna be met with karma from the beasts summoned just to kill you.

I wish for a harem of babes.

You instead get a harem of baras.

I wish to have sex. Homo or No Homo.

Granted, but it blows away in the wind

I wish 1 million dollars appeared in my posession without negative consequences.

Granted, but you get mugged in the following minutes.

I wish for Angelirio to stop stealing my undergarments.

You get it, but you a lot of STDs too
I wish to get the best fedora in the world.

GRANTED

You get the best fedora but are quickly arrested by the LAPD and charged with theft. It turns out that the "best fedora" was in fact the one Harrison Ford used during the Indiana Jones movies.

I wish there was a Loyalist Space Marine chapter that specialized in charging into battle and punishing the enemies of Man by using Power Cheese Graters.

They were, the cheese graters were so useless that everyone got kidnapped by sound marines.
I wish that everyone here became rich.

Granted, however, due to the sudden introduction of currency, inflation rises.

I wish that Nebu and Neos hadnt besmirched my good name by forming rumours that I steal undergarments and that I have STD.
Or that they arr punished for it.

Denied because nobody likes an imperialist like you.

I wish for another life.

You get Angelirio's
I wish to have SCP-458: The Never-Ending Pizza Box

Granted, but the next life is just as bad as this one.

I wish for a wish.

Granted, you get the song; One Wish by Ray J.

I wish for Speer's robotic arms for private uses.

Granted, Their batteries only lasts for 1 hour, be fast.
I wish for a mechanic kit, I'll need it.

Granted, Private Donut gets Neos Speer's arms.

I wish Nebu lost the ability to feel pleasure and/or pain.

Granted, but she has orgasms from filling out tax forms.

I wish RT could have a live action version of my RWBY show.

Granted, but its less faithfull to its source material than dragonball evolution was.

I wish Volga stole Nebu's powers.

He was so grossed out by the effects that he decided to return the powers.
I wish to be able to stay awake forever without feeling tired.

You die of sleep deprivation.

I wish for Speer's body to not decompose after he dies. I need him for personal "studies".

I explode while you're "studying" me.
I wish for several cups of a good coffee.

Granted but your housemates drink it all
I wish to get my life back from Nebu.

They're good cups of coffee alright. Too good. So good that every other cup that you will ever have taste like literal shit in comparison.

I wish that Avdol was still alive.

Granted, but YES I AM TCH TCH
I wish that the ninja'ing in this thread would stop.

Granted, but YES I AM TCH TCH
I wish that the ninja'ing in this thread would stop.

Granted, but now there are samurai'ing in the thread.

I wish I can read a book in six seconds and know every detail from each chapter.

Granted, but you may only use it for studying.
I wish for every girl to have a massive butt, even the little ones..

Granted but now every girl looks down on you in disgust.

I wish I that I could turn back time cause now the guilty is all mine