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Well after all this time Paradox fixed the glitch stopping us from doing this. If you are new here:
Portrait:

Name:
Race name in singular, plural and adjective.
Empire name and adjective version.

Homeworld Name and climate:

Arctic

Arid

Continental

Desert

Ocean

Tropical

Tundra

Society:
Link
(Extra: Title for leader and heir)

Starting Technology:
Ships Weapons: Bullets or Lasers or Nuclear
FTL Tech: Warp Drive (Free but slower movement) or Hyperlane (Faster but limited to a network of paths) or Wormhole (Extremely fast but you need to contruct portals to the galaxy you need to go to)

We'll start in July.

Current Races











And then the glorious leader who got high before the photoshoot:

Everything looks good for my guys.

Oh awesome. I had given up all hope on this thread but I'm glad to see it's back.

>Stellaris
>Not making fanatic xenophobe race named "Imperium of Man"

The fuck you doing

Portrait:

Name:
Empire: The Consciousness
Species: Section; Sections

Homeworld:
HS-0372 (Continental)

Society:
Link

Starting tech:
Weapons: Nuclear
Drive: Wormhole

One question I have that I've never actually figured out is can AI empires uplift pre-sentient races?

Portrait:

Name:
Race name: Dracone, Draconii, Draconic
Empire Name: The Shadow Dragon Empire

Homeworld:
Name: Tenebris
Climate: Arid and mountainous

Society:
Link
Current President: Mundus Fafnir the XIIIth
Heir Title: Vice President

Technology: Nuclear ship weaponry, warp drives.

Portrait:
Name:
Race name: Squiggler, Squigglers, Squiggly
Empire Name: The Great Squiggly Republic
Homeworld:
Name: Squigglerin
Climate: Ocean
Society:
Link
Current President: Sir Tentacly Squigglington
Heir Title: Vice Squiggler
Technology:
Lasers ship weaponry, warp drive

1:

6th birb, the white one
2:
Empire Name:Ilikiran
Race name: Banti
adjective: Bantian
Plural: Bantis

3:

tropical

4:
The Crunch is done

5:
bullets and wormholes

6:
This one guy is really good playing poker, he was so good he played poker against god and won, now he is our new god and leader, oh and we also like to blow shit up.

Portrait:

Name:
Race Name: Gariik (singular and adjective), Garii
Empire Name: United Garii Empire
Homeworld:
Name: Buarus
Climate: Continental
Society:
Link
Technology:
Bullets, Hyperlane

IT BEGINS!





These new empires have ascended in the 23rd century! Will they perish? Will they survive? Only one thing is certain.
In space… Nobody can hear you meme.

Also Oy Vey

Things started out kind of slow so I took a shower while letting the game run. The year is 2230
Current happenings:
Squigglies took Belgium
War between Qoyunlid Dominion and Vogon Conglomerate
Squigglies have joined the Golden League together with United Dabbax Suns (non-meme filth)
Zion has started a rialry against both the Shadow Dragons and The United Garii Empire
Coloured Thorns have rivalized the Republic of Vool'Umu
Lewd Spiders have a non-aggression pact with the Interstellar Reshethi Republic
Golden League is at war with Rehethi
Irithyll has defensive pact with the Conciousness
Zion has assimilated the primal Netraxi civilizations into their society
Kaltharian Enclaves have made the primal Jarad civilization a spacefaring one under their wing/tentacle as a protectorate
Jimmab the Powerful of the Alpaca Fan Club is snooping around the Jarad's
Earth is a Nuclear wasteland

This is getting interesting. Zion has done some considerable expansion while the Squigglies have formed alliances.

Soon all of our tentacles shall be held together in friendship.

(been kind of busy lately so I couldn't update)

2234


The Garii can only tremble before the might of Jesus and his mormon flagships. Zion has declared war on the United Garii Empires!
Non-aggression pact between the Kaltharian Enclaves and the Alpaca Fanclub
Golden League has declared war on the Compact of I Love Hitler's Asshole

Admiral Kashnak may be 81 years old but he's still kicking. He has been tasked with the mission of assaulting the planet of Frichaz. Frichaz is a colony of Zion. It is lush and can support life of pretty much any organism. The Netraxi are the main race in the colonies but they still feel anger against their Zion overlords. Farms are scarce but they are growing.

Whatever, it's a minor sacrifice for the greater good. This assault will be progress in the repelling of Zion forces. The Garii may be pacifists but they are not cowards. His armada enters the orbit of Frichaz to commence the bombings. The 230 ships went in easily without much resistance… maybe too easily. The days that passed were not hard but morbid. Hundreds of Netraxi farms were destroyed in this short amount of time. Was this really just? Was the suffering truly needed?

Funny how quick a day can change. The radars start sounding loudly. Hundreds of foreign stellar bodies are approaching. Kashnak turns his ship to get a better look. A few million kilometers away the telescopes find them. 719 battleships.

Admiral Raldirm den Vathrag and the First Task Force are here to stop these bombings.

Is this the end?
No. It is time to flee.

After a month Kashnak comes back to home. Safe at last… OH GOD! The First Task Force pursued them all the way from Frichaz! Kashnak can't flee now, the planet is in danger! The ships exchange fire.

The battle ends quickly with the utter defeat of the Garii forces. Rest in peace Kashnak. He died for his country.

General Timaphon of the United Garii Empires perishes too as his army gets intercepted by the First Task Force. Zion will get their rightful empire.

Kojogg's Keep is now occupied by Zion forces

The Garii will know paradise
by force

The Garii
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The Conquered

Facing crushing defeat the Garii sign the peace treaty.

The United Garii Empire is no more. Only paradise…

Meanwhile in the Shitpost Wars, the Admiral Konstantin Pavlov gets ambushed by Squiggly commander Angelo Russo.

"CONGRATULATIONS, YOU GOT YOURSELF CAUGHT, WHAT'S THE NEXT PART OF YOUR MASTER PLAN?"

"Crashing your ships…"

WITH NO SURVIVORS!

Rest in peace Angelo Russo, he got killed by turtle-jew Bane.

The Jarad Hierchy is now officially that country.

In approximately 10 years they have enslaved each other and are lead by a military dictator. Question is if this will create moral backlash against the Kaltharians for actively stimulating the growth and welfare of a dictatorship.

The Spiders have started on psionics, it begins

le smug birb of stellar conquest face
I sure hope it becomes like a psychic cold war between Mako and Bummer. These two competing to reach psionic supremacy. There is a delicious treat at the end if you succeed in manufacturing a PSI Jumpdrive ;)

tfw the consciousness doesn't do anything

You had one job, game. To blob.

Squiggler ambassador in Jarad explains their ideaology.

KNAWLEDGE
Squiggler governor will have some problems this election.

This is actually just a way to smoothen up the tone before the hard news…
The Golden League has lost the Shitpost Wars and have been both humiliated. The Great Squiggly Republic have been forced to cede Cyndis to the Compact of I Love Hitler's Asshole.

And the people aren't exactly being kindly met.

The Shitpostian Emperor Trumpo Nikita I leaves the Golden League with one last message.

Well Irithyll have started deals with them and both the Conciousness and the Qoyunlid Dominion. Maybe as a defense against the Vogons. But the Conciousness may be able to be part of the first three-part alliance. This could then bloom into a federation. They're all united under their hatred for the Vogon and everything they stand for.

The Conciousness have also evolved their government to use advanced artificial intelligences to control their economy and politics. The Conciousness have oddly enough become ruthless capitalists searching for profit. They just haven't done so much in warfare.

Birds should to shitting on vehicles and flying into glass panes

This was kind of anticipated. Draconian men left their families to join the army. Yes, Zion just declared war on the Order of the Shadow Dragon.

This was the build-up of several years of political tension. Will the Shadow Dragons win or perish like those before them? Zion wants the capitulation of several solar systems but one. Failure will lead to an extreme financial crisis and diplomatic humiliation of the Order. They will be reduced to one planet and will then either have to reclaim their lands or have to begin anew. But in case of the Order winning it will lead to the revival of the Garii Republic (though it will follow Draconian ideals) and of course a severely weakened Zion. This new Garii Republic may also be more receptive of an alliance. This war is of great importance as it could create a STELLAR GREAT POWER.

Birds are gonna shit on vehicles alright
your vehicles

Zion cannot lose because we have mormon jesus on our side

CURSE YOU TURTLE JEWS!

They’re all united under their hatred for the Vogon and everything they stand for.

Excellent, my goal of being the most hated species in the galaxy is coming along nicely.

Raldirm den Vathrag is pretty much Big Boss of the Memeiverse. Even though he is extremely old he is still commandeering the First Task Force. This time he is joining the war of Draconian conquest/Garii liberation. At the time I am submitting this he recently celebrated his 100th birthday.

Mormon Jesus cannot save you, convert to the superior spider religion, or face enslavement/extinction~

The Empire of the Shadow Dragons have lost. Their empire has now shrunk considerably and are now reduced to one planet and a military base. The people are becoming angry at this humiliation. They have been pushed back to the small, under-developed planet of Smitheus. At least they still have the Eltheen Outpost.

The Empire of Brittania as also got into a three-way war against the Kaltharians and Jareds, The Golden League and the Compact of I Love Hitler's Asshole. They had to do an emergency election and their new Prime Minister is Hui Tan.

Yes, these are times of great change! Even though the Brittanians are going through great change there have been… pressure on the opposing side. The death of Trumpo Nikita left his son Trumpo Kseniya in charge. Problem is that Kseniya is a bit too nervous about things. He doesn't have the charisma or strength of his father. The JIDF (Jingoist ILHA (which is itself an acronym of I Lobe Hitler's Asshole) Douchebags Front) did a military coup to overthrow the emperor and install a military dictator. Welcome to the Xenofrie Republik ruled by the Grand Marshall Nikolai Yezhov.


PRAISE THE MARSHALL!

The only thing superior about your religion is how quickly it will be scrubbed away

Long live Big Boss Mormon Birb

Well the Angloos fucked up and the Xenofrie Republik won but they had a quite interesting wargoal though

NEW TURTLE EMPIRE! DOUBLE THE TURTLES, DOUBLE THE GENOCIDAL JINGOISM!

Also the legend is over. The younger Admiral Viprim den Adasga has now taken over after the death of Raldirm "Big Boss" den Vathrag. He died of cardiac-arrest while still in his cockpit. The Zion clergy sends their condolences to his children and grand-children. Let us have a silent moment for this true patriot and Mormon bean ;_;7

RIP in pizza Big Boss Mormon Birb ;_;7

Big Boss
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Big Loss

Oh baby this game is finally one. Now I have a good reason to rise from my grave. So how are my birdies doing?

You have researched psionic theory, xenodiplomacy, mapped your genomes, created adminstrative AND combat computers able to compute tasks and such so you don't need to. They have struck deals with both the Qoyunlids and The Conciousness thus making it posible that there may be a new Alliance. They're currently in a war against the Vogons as they had a defensive pact with the Qoyunlid Dominion. Your scientists are researching ways to change the climate on other planets to enable terraforming and more advanced versions of torpedoes. Pretty good.

Also the Holy Order of the Lewd Spider has declared war on the newly formed United Rax'Thalak Hegemony. Probably because the new leader Clark Sedgwick is such an anglophile and got mad at the constant Angloo genocides. If they succeed the Rax'Thalak will have to become their vassals. They will also install a Spider-cult in the Stratal system. If the Rax'Thalak win they will bring humiliation to the Coven and then install another xenophobic government there.

My Inquisitor better do well…

Inquisitor Clark Sedgwick of the Holy Order of the Lewd Spider has finally beaten the Rax'Thalak menace! A great day for spiderkind. The clergy in Stratal has been established and the papers have been signed to crown the Inquisitor the Overlord of the United Rax'Thalak. The Emperor is still in charge of internal politics though. But hey, let's talk to the dear Emperor…

Oh…
The ultra-nationalism is still a problem though.

The Stratal Arachno-Confederacy has been formed in the Stratal system. Their ideas mirror the Holy Order but they're lead by a military bloc instead of a clergy. Other than that they're pretty cooperative with the Spiders (even though they do keep their sovereignity a constant point in diplomatic talks). They are religious and follow the same faith as the arachnids though with minor points in the holy scriptures changed.
The Vogons are losing the war while the Kaltharians have become an "Illuminated Technocracy". The Brittanians lost their second war and now faces humiliation from the Jarad's. The Kaltharians have been doing some interesting finds recently. Who knows what things they'll cook up?

Well the Vogons lost and they have now practically changed their entire society to reflect the Aptenodyte one. They are now more religious, pacifist and have basically turned into monks. Though they will still be able to join wars for liberation. There are campaigns to encourage free-thought and artistic merits. They did lose some planets to the Qoyunlids.

This is honestly a disgustingly saccharine heel turn for them. Maybe this is for the better.

Vogons
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By-Gones

What's even the point of being a vogon if you can't be the most hated bureaucrat in the galaxy?

Well the Stratal Arachno-Confederacy got genocided by the Xenofrie Republik. Rest in peace, sweet turtles.
REMEMBER THE 6 GORILLION!

So apparently the Squiggler found out how to refine space vapor so I made a thing.

Nice to know that my birds are doing alright and I seem to have a group follow their ways, was not expecting that. Keep up the good work my little birds.

Well Zion is feeling the tolls of over-extension so they just decided to help around. Y'know, taking down some pirates, helping ol' aunt Maximilia to get rid of Vool'Umu scum. But just one thing more…


Anyone could be a mormon space-bird. Your boss, colleagues, friends, store clerks,

EVEN THE PRESIDENT could be one of them.

There were some resistance. But in the end.

They won.

The Kingdom of the Colored Thorns have done further investigations on the planet of Sol III (codename: Earth) and have found out that there are large cockroaches that seem to possess basic intelligence.

In other news


Looks like the UE has decided to do some fighting after nearly a century of research, colonization and general thumb-twiddling. This could prove to be hugely detrimental as Ignis also recently declared war on the Holy Order of the Lewd Spider to liberate the United Rax'Thalak Dominion from Spider rule.

Also a Squiggler petition to name rename a colony moon to "Vape Nation" has succeeded.

Welp I show up a week later and my people are the first to be obliterated
RIP in pepperoni peaceful Gator Capitalists.

Looks like Ignis actually got off and did something. Ater some talks with the Holy Order of the Lewd Spider they did a deal, Ignis will take the Erdosca and Ponnel systems from the Rax'Thalak but still allow them to be under Spider rule. The Spider Queen have directed Fire Lord Darmull (106 years old fighter of democracy) to a bigger threat. The Xenofrie Republik. And now Ignis decides to once and for all:

IT'S TIME FOR DEMOCRACY

Also creepy Xenofrie Emperor quote of the day: