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Hold on, I'll get the chair and rope. You guys decide the torture methods.

I am neutral

A-Ha!

So you admit to assisting both sides, do you?

Wait, i haven't even strapped you to the chair yet. You can't confess right now, i wanted to see Soup King's torture and interrogation methods.

That admission of neutrality could mean he's acting rouge based on his own interests!

Mine, bitch

Could you have something to do with this?
Where's Timothy?! We need answers.

Looks like i'll be using the chair and rope after all.

Gee, it sure is boring around here

You bet. This L.A. traffic sucks, man. I wish i had machineguns rocket launchers and napalm cannons mounted in my car.

You know, we could improvise our own chaos with what we've already got.
(gently taps car)
Wanna get the police on our ass for shits and giggles?

Hell yeah, bro! I call shotgun!

I got banned and muted from everywhere so I might as well finally win this thing

Wanna join me and Quiet_boi's road adventure mayhem? We've got icecream and the OSTs to every Twisted Metal game.

You should come man, it's gonna be awsome.

Aw yeah! Welcome aboard, we cruisin' for some real fun.

its gamer time!

first of all how dare you

donate to charity

Am I a charity?

Yeah, and here's my donation

What an amazing act of kindness! You've gained the approval of Hollywood.

I would like to thank the academy and my fans, wouldn't have been able to get this far without my fans.

wholesome

Modest and humble, too!

No one tell Squibblyskadew that Quiet_Boi used his cartel connections to steal his stick and sell it to Kaijin. He has a reputation to uphold.

Shut up, dude. Kaijin insisted on me with that stupid stick and paid me well for it. Last thing i need is becoming a villain

Young man, you’ll never be an anti-hero with this amount of negativity.

(Stealthy finger wag)

(This video is the very first thing I tried to do with video software. Excuse the roughness)

.

Quiet_boi how could you?! You stole another man's property and gave it to a crazy person! You realize Kommando_Kaijin tried to ambush me into a fight with him? Oh, and the things he was doing with my stick when I found him! (Let's just say it involved a dakimakura of Shirley, a camera, some candles, and "hot glue").

Heck, it ended up in a shootout with the police!



Don't worry, he's alive. But he's still insisting on that fight.

.

Spit it out, Quiet_boi! How much did he pay you to commit this egregious crime?

Alright, Soup King, since you claim not to tie yourself with the matters of other people, would you be ever so kind as to reveal more information I might ought to know? An explanation perhaps of what's going on?
I won't take out my wrath against you, that you can trust. But it would make matters simpler if you were to open up.

That's pretty much all I know really.

Me and Kaijin are good neighbours who are constantly playing harmless pranks on each other (Car bombs, unlicensed modifications to machinery, strafing runs; you know that sort of thing.) and a few days ago he came home bragging about a new stick he had.

I asked him where he got it from and he said he brought it from Quiet_Boi, who I know to be an honest merchant of dishonest things.

He then asked for advise on how to hide a stick, so I told him how to get that stick to grow into a mighty tree; which would then provide him with more sticks. But he accidently forgot that the druid lives with us and that he was a rampant industrialist who hated nature, so really it's a good thing you liberated it when you did; otherwise it would have been turned into oil.

$2000….. He paid me $2000… I'm sorry, Squibbly, but i needed the money, the cartels were breathing down my neck and they would have killed me if i didn't paid them what i owed to them.
.
.
If you want a compensation i could give you my rock, the one my sister gave to me. I wouldn't mind to bid farewell to that rock if it means that we get to be on good terms with one another, and you take me to the hospital, this is a pretty painful wound.

Alright, we can be on good terms. I'll take ya to the hospital.

Now, if you don't mind me asking another question… How big of a gun do you think it would take to get the cartels of your ass?

Clearly, this ought to be something to be fixed one way or another.

It's not a matter of size, but quantity. You'll need at leas two or three of those M60s to get them off my ass.

I eat ass

As an connoisseur of the buttocks, what would you say is the highest quality derrière that you have partaken of?

my own ass its delicious

My greatest regret in life was not going to prison

If you really want for someone to make you their bitch then let me remind you that BDSM clubs are still a thing.

Guess who I am?

Clue: You probably hate me

The singer from the Go Compare Adverts?

No but you are close

Its quite the mistery

Could you quite possibly be……Turuntula?

Wait a second… "Turuntula"? Why, that's only a couple vowels off from-

OH MY GOD!

They learned to shitpost! We are doomed!

I don't live in Europe.

I'm assuming you yourself are mexican with that previous López Obrador comment. It would be a little odd if you weren't.

You are correct, but, do you know who else is?

Ara Ara