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Last Post Wins

Last posted Nov 22, 2024 at 02:37PM EST. Added Jan 11, 2017 at 12:22PM EST
4312 posts from 233 users

Uoiea wrote:

Hey all!
Just a friendly reminder that all your years of trying to win as the last poster in this overly long forum post will be wasted.
Because in the end, I've already won.

Sorry for being an ass here, I was trying to be funny.

Oh, no, he already won, what are we supposed to do?

I know, we can delay his victory as much as possible.

Griff the Hoplite wrote:

I leave this thread for exactly 4 days and you people start talking about sex

Now i'll make sure this womt happen again

Hey, it's a Black Hawk, which sounds very similar to black cock and – it's that missle coming straight to-

No!! wrote:

God I hope it's not anti semitism growing in that image gallery…again….

Seriously what is the obsession people have with jews

Maybe they are just butthurt that Moses set them free and guided them to Jerusalem.

your brain is a computer that attempts to calculate the best decition possible, so if you are horny a part of your brain thinks its the ideal moment to get horny.

Think about the moments you have gotten horny and realize a part of you thought that was a good idea…. and realize the horror.

Quiet_boi wrote:

That's what you did in your vacations? Even I could have done that.

Unfortunately, we don't have mountains down in the South, so I had to go North to find them.

Which is a crying shame because the scenery was beautiful and the roads made an excellent rally track and you can get some real good drift on them were safe and were travelled on with the utmost care, taking particular notice of the speed limits in place on such precarious passages.

As for what we actually did, me and my brother:

Climbed the Wrong Mountain:

We were aiming to scale Scaffal Pike, which is the tallest mountain in England, but it was surrounded by other mountains that were slightly shorter and we couldn't tell until we got to the top.

Blundered Into A Castle:

We were going for a stroll along Lake Windermere, which is the largest lake in the Lake District, and as we were about halfway round and about to turn back, I noticed a sign that said "Wrycastle 1 1/2 miles away".

"1 and a half miles away, that's not far"

Thought I, and it's not.

Except this was straight after climbing the mountain, so my feet were covered in blisters and it was in the middle of a rainstorm.

Since I am biologically engineered for Misery and Moors, I had a great time just calmly ambling there in the warm summer rain.

My brother….less so.

Especially since he forgot his coat.

Suffice to say, he was very salty on the three-hour walk back to the car.

On the brightside, it was a rather nice little castle.

Visited a Cheese Factory:

My brother demanded that we did less outdoor stuff on our outdoor themed holiday, so we visited the factory that makes Wensleydale cheese and my brother decided to buy some to try.

Unfortunately, against my sage advice, he decided that he would wait until he got back home, after a day-long car drive, in the Summer until he ate it.

So, hopefully it's still cheese and hasn't devolved back into yoghurt, but I'm sure we'll find out eventually.

Sat in A Car Jam for Over Two Hours:

Who the hell shuts down an entire four lane motorway between two of the most populous cities in the North and funnels the entire load of traffic through a one-lane slipway on a Saturday?

Highways England, that's who.

"Improving your journey"

Yeah, like fuck you are.

To be honest, I'm very bitter about the M6 in general, as it's almost a hundred miles of variable speed motorway with a speed camera literally every 100 yards.

What's a variable speed motorway?

It's a motorway where the speed limit can go from 60 to 40 to 70 and back to 40 again within the space of half a mile for no reason whatsoever. It's literally just someone whacking switches and making everyone's lives as tedious and horrible as their's is.

(sighs)

If only all our motorways could be like the M43.

Gorgeous scenery, as it was through the rolling hillside of Oxfordshire.

An actual honest-to-god hard shoulder unlike those deathtraps known as Smart Motorways where there is no safe lane, so if you breakdown you are almost guaranteed to be hit and killed.

And, best of all, no speed cameras. Which meant everyone was driving at the speed they felt comfortable with, there was no congestion as there was nothing to break the flow of traffic and it was much safer, as everyone was concentrating on their driving instead of spending half the time glued to their speedo.

Last edited Aug 08, 2021 at 12:18PM EDT

Soup King wrote:

Unfortunately, we don't have mountains down in the South, so I had to go North to find them.

Which is a crying shame because the scenery was beautiful and the roads made an excellent rally track and you can get some real good drift on them were safe and were travelled on with the utmost care, taking particular notice of the speed limits in place on such precarious passages.

As for what we actually did, me and my brother:

Climbed the Wrong Mountain:

We were aiming to scale Scaffal Pike, which is the tallest mountain in England, but it was surrounded by other mountains that were slightly shorter and we couldn't tell until we got to the top.

Blundered Into A Castle:

We were going for a stroll along Lake Windermere, which is the largest lake in the Lake District, and as we were about halfway round and about to turn back, I noticed a sign that said "Wrycastle 1 1/2 miles away".

"1 and a half miles away, that's not far"

Thought I, and it's not.

Except this was straight after climbing the mountain, so my feet were covered in blisters and it was in the middle of a rainstorm.

Since I am biologically engineered for Misery and Moors, I had a great time just calmly ambling there in the warm summer rain.

My brother….less so.

Especially since he forgot his coat.

Suffice to say, he was very salty on the three-hour walk back to the car.

On the brightside, it was a rather nice little castle.

Visited a Cheese Factory:

My brother demanded that we did less outdoor stuff on our outdoor themed holiday, so we visited the factory that makes Wensleydale cheese and my brother decided to buy some to try.

Unfortunately, against my sage advice, he decided that he would wait until he got back home, after a day-long car drive, in the Summer until he ate it.

So, hopefully it's still cheese and hasn't devolved back into yoghurt, but I'm sure we'll find out eventually.

Sat in A Car Jam for Over Two Hours:

Who the hell shuts down an entire four lane motorway between two of the most populous cities in the North and funnels the entire load of traffic through a one-lane slipway on a Saturday?

Highways England, that's who.

"Improving your journey"

Yeah, like fuck you are.

To be honest, I'm very bitter about the M6 in general, as it's almost a hundred miles of variable speed motorway with a speed camera literally every 100 yards.

What's a variable speed motorway?

It's a motorway where the speed limit can go from 60 to 40 to 70 and back to 40 again within the space of half a mile for no reason whatsoever. It's literally just someone whacking switches and making everyone's lives as tedious and horrible as their's is.

(sighs)

If only all our motorways could be like the M43.

Gorgeous scenery, as it was through the rolling hillside of Oxfordshire.

An actual honest-to-god hard shoulder unlike those deathtraps known as Smart Motorways where there is no safe lane, so if you breakdown you are almost guaranteed to be hit and killed.

And, best of all, no speed cameras. Which meant everyone was driving at the speed they felt comfortable with, there was no congestion as there was nothing to break the flow of traffic and it was much safer, as everyone was concentrating on their driving instead of spending half the time glued to their speedo.

Sounds like a lovely vacation! I'll tell my mom about it if that's ok with you, she loves hearing about this types of stories.
And I would like to ask, who was the owner of the car that you and your brother used? and what model it was? Please tell me it was a Escort RS Cosworth from 1998, that would be so Top Gear.

Quiet_boi wrote:

Sounds like a lovely vacation! I'll tell my mom about it if that's ok with you, she loves hearing about this types of stories.
And I would like to ask, who was the owner of the car that you and your brother used? and what model it was? Please tell me it was a Escort RS Cosworth from 1998, that would be so Top Gear.

Sure, I don't see any harm in telling her this.

We took my car, because although it would be hilarious if we made the entire 324 mile journey on my brother's moped; it just really isn't feasible.

My current car is a 2009 Citroen Picasso and it has impressed me immensely on this trip.

It got us there using only half a tank of diesel, took 30 degrees inclines like it was nothing and I was able to manoeuvre it around hairpin bends and mountain passes like a car half it's size.

I had a lot more fun driving to the top of mountains than I did walking them.

Soup King wrote:

Sure, I don't see any harm in telling her this.

We took my car, because although it would be hilarious if we made the entire 324 mile journey on my brother's moped; it just really isn't feasible.

My current car is a 2009 Citroen Picasso and it has impressed me immensely on this trip.

It got us there using only half a tank of diesel, took 30 degrees inclines like it was nothing and I was able to manoeuvre it around hairpin bends and mountain passes like a car half it's size.

I had a lot more fun driving to the top of mountains than I did walking them.

Thanks for that Top Gear tier review, King.
Now let's go and see what James May has to say about the latest model of the Dacia Sandero.
>May: It's kinda ugly but affordable.

Samekichi Kiseki wrote:

Jeez 4 years and still ongoing.

As a moderator you can stop this anytime you want, preferably now so that I can be the last post and therefore, win!
Ha Ha! I win, losers!

No!! wrote:

Looking at previous messages I think I am deep under Nurgle's grasp right now…

fuck

So, I've cranked the numbers and studied the ancient texts and I've come to the conclusion that you've accidently got yourself into a negative feedback cycle.

As a completely unlicensed medical professional, my proposed solution is to only say positive things about yourself, take up as much space as you can on your seat in order to boost your sub-conscious confidence levels and get yourself a pet if your situation allows it.

Animals are awesome and always provide a necessary boost in morale.

I don't want to brag too much, but this wednesday it's gonna be my birthday irl. 26 years of life in which the last 2 were spent mostly on being either wholesome or horny.

Soup King wrote:

So, I've cranked the numbers and studied the ancient texts and I've come to the conclusion that you've accidently got yourself into a negative feedback cycle.

As a completely unlicensed medical professional, my proposed solution is to only say positive things about yourself, take up as much space as you can on your seat in order to boost your sub-conscious confidence levels and get yourself a pet if your situation allows it.

Animals are awesome and always provide a necessary boost in morale.

I do have a dog it's a small German shepherd she helps a lot even if she is hyperactive

No!! wrote:

I do have a dog it's a small German shepherd she helps a lot even if she is hyperactive

I had a German Shepard when I was a kid.

Even when she was fully grown, she still tried to sit on my lap just as she did when she was a puppy.

Soup King wrote:

I had a German Shepard when I was a kid.

Even when she was fully grown, she still tried to sit on my lap just as she did when she was a puppy.

Thanks, now I can't stop imagining a huge German Shephard sitting in the lap of a brass made robot.
Both as a puppy and many years later.
It's starting to break me.

You know what really grinds my gears?

Youtube hearts!!

Those are supposed to be a reward for saying something extremely good but many youtubers are treating it as something to be thrown around like garbage

I've seen many vtuber clippers that seem to lose sleep simply to heart every comment that has ever been posted on their clips

Griff the Hoplite wrote:

You know what really grinds my gears?

Youtube hearts!!

Those are supposed to be a reward for saying something extremely good but many youtubers are treating it as something to be thrown around like garbage

I've seen many vtuber clippers that seem to lose sleep simply to heart every comment that has ever been posted on their clips

Maybe they should include an overdose mechanic where if you give out too many hearts too quickly; or give more than X amount for a single video; a Google drone will come and bomb your house or place of work with Horse Piss?

..
..
..

I wish I was the head of an Evil International Mega-Corporation.

It'd probably be just as terrible, but at least it would be much more entertaining for everyone involved.

I'd just be strolling about the place in a cape, monologuing like Kain in Blood Omen about the various, random shit I have lying around the office with a pet wolf at my heels.

There would be no censorship or blacklisting like there is today.

That is far too boring.

Instead, I will have a highly trained squad that would break into the houses of detractors and shit on their pillows.

For more serious transgressions, like saying my wolf isn't cute or saying that the Apple Wankstick is 1000000% better than my Google Cancerbox, I would have them kidnapped and brought to a room where I would monologue at them through a TV screen with one-way audio about how they are a Foolishly Fooly Fool for hours on end until I got bored and let them go.

Being a cartoon villain would be so much fun.

Last edited Aug 24, 2021 at 10:31AM EDT

Soup King wrote:

Maybe they should include an overdose mechanic where if you give out too many hearts too quickly; or give more than X amount for a single video; a Google drone will come and bomb your house or place of work with Horse Piss?

..
..
..

I wish I was the head of an Evil International Mega-Corporation.

It'd probably be just as terrible, but at least it would be much more entertaining for everyone involved.

I'd just be strolling about the place in a cape, monologuing like Kain in Blood Omen about the various, random shit I have lying around the office with a pet wolf at my heels.

There would be no censorship or blacklisting like there is today.

That is far too boring.

Instead, I will have a highly trained squad that would break into the houses of detractors and shit on their pillows.

For more serious transgressions, like saying my wolf isn't cute or saying that the Apple Wankstick is 1000000% better than my Google Cancerbox, I would have them kidnapped and brought to a room where I would monologue at them through a TV screen with one-way audio about how they are a Foolishly Fooly Fool for hours on end until I got bored and let them go.

Being a cartoon villain would be so much fun.

Evil deeds that would make Skeletor proud.

This was intense way more intense than it had any right to be
(Just click on it and watch it in youtube apperantly the creator has blocked this from being uploaded to other platforms)

Last edited Aug 27, 2021 at 05:56AM EDT

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