Well this is what I get for going to bed I guess, now my responses are a good seven hours late. :P
burning_peoneix wrote:
@Gigatoast:
Well you asked for criticism so by god you’re going to get it. Be aware though that I do this because you asked. I found the original comic pretty great and loved the art and didn’t really feel the need to critique it. so please don’t take this criticism the wrong way, I’m kinda digging deep in my inner cynic. :(
Concerning art, I really can’t help you there. I can barely draw stick figures but from what I’ve heard from people who do these kind of long term projects, you get exponentially better as time goes on and learn shortcuts to make your workflow more streamlined.
As for writing and panel placement, the writing is great and the punchline was clever ( a bit too clever for its own good really….)
As for panels, there’s a lot of wasted panels here of ponies simply picking up retch root that you simply do not need to show over and over again. A reader is okay with it since he can just glance quickly over a panel with no text but it makes work much harder for you as an artist drawing all these unnecessary extra frames. Look at all this unnecessary work you gave yourself!
Wow thanks, that was immensely helpful. Now that you mention it the majority of my problems seem to stem from page composition. I was trying something new and I suppose I had a bit too much of a "stroyboard" mindset while sketching out the design.
I'll keep all your advice in mind when I start up the next part, then hopefully it'll feel less cramped and confusing and I won't have to do unnecessary work that just slows down the production time.
Thanks again! :D
supermonday wrote:
With the story/plot itself i found only a few problems. The story seemed RD focused but you only gave the “background” ponies a slight mention before tossing them away (i’m surprised twilight, the master of friendship, only said one or two things before ignoring RD’s unwillingness to help their friend zecora).
I admit this part gives the wrong idea about the plot, the rest of the story mainly focuses on Zecora and Twilight. I styled this part after a cold opening an actual episode would have (you know, that bit before the theme song), they don't usually have much influence on the plot and serve mostly to set the scene and deliver a quick joke.
Thanks for the critique guys! This is just what I needed to get myself back on track!