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I have some weird-ass dreams. Behold, AND DESPAIR!

3:00 AM, Arsenal Gear
Me: Whoa, WTF!? I’M NAKED?!
Slenderman: ….
Giygas (Well, it wasn’t red and had a kitten face on it with a flower background, but still):….
Me: HOLY SHIT SLENDERMAN AND GIYGAS…. with a cat face?
Giygas: M̨̩̲̳͓̜̯͔̪̩̩̙̭̮͓̪̞͆̾ͧ͊ͣ̽͛ͪ͑̃̓͂̔ͤ̅͘͜e̘͓̤̜̳͇̫̘̖͎̰̔́̌͆̓̿͐͆̑͛̆ͪ̓̓̇̃̃͘͢͠ő̊͐̾ͨ̔̉́҉̱̠͚̥͕̪̯͓̪͕̰͖̩̬̠ẅ́͐͛ͣ҉̵̛̳̝̪͜͜?
Slenderman: (British Accent) Ah! Nice to meet you, old chap, Raiden. Care for a spot of tea?
Me: What?
Slenderman: Ah, old Giygas and I here were just enjoying a nice tea party as Arsenal Gear just floated above Saffron City.
Me: What? (Very confused now)
Gary Motherfucking Oak: (crying) I GOT ASSRAPED BY RED AGAAAAAIN!!
Slenderman: Now son, what did I tell you about messing with Ash?
Me: Ash is a wuss! Red is a beast!
Giygas: Ness?
Slenderman: HA! You aren’t even good enough to be my fake!
Me: What the hell is going on?
(Suddenly Arsenal Gear turns into Blimpie Blimp)
Me: Huh?
Gary: ITS METAL GEAR RAY!!!
Me: ?!
(Metal Gear RAY starts singing Rules of Nature while flying like a bird)
Me: Okay, what.
Giygas: P̧͘͟A̶͠҉N̸͞C̸҉A̵͜K̷̴̢͡E͏S̵͡!̶͢͝ (Glitches out, disappears, leaving behind a kitten)
Kitten: I MUST CONSUME… CONSUME EVERYTHING…
Me: What the hell is going on?
(Shadow kicks down a door out of fucking nowhere, screams OW THE EDGE before shouting again, holding a Rifle)
Shadow The Hedgehog: TEAM! UNITE UP!
(Dante, Bayonetta, Raiden, Solid Snake, and Kirby sporting a bandana and five o clock shade along with 1,000 heartless appear)
All: ROGER!
Me: What the actual fuck?!
Slenderman: (Yodels while riding a fucking pony into outer space)
(At this point, shit gets worse. Sora and Sonic end up singing Live and Learn while riding Metal Gear RAY while a Gardevoir uses a whip to beat the stuffing out of a R34 artist. I suddenly end up clothed as someone tosses me a parachute)
Me: Wh-what is this I can’t even--?!
(Deadpool arrives on blimp, playing a Spongebob game on a Game Boy)
Deadpool: Sorry kid, gonna have to deadpool this dream. It ain’t making any sense.
Me: (Raging) THAT IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM, YOU DAFT BASTARD!!
Deadpool: (Smiling) That is why I’M TAUNTING YOU!
(Deadpool jumps off blimp laughing insanely, flipping me off before being swallowed by Free Willy)
Me: I can’t. I just--
(Suddenly Chris Hansen riding a giant bulldog tosses a chair at my face)
Chris: HAVE A SEAT!
(Chris is then nuked by a returning Giygas, who is not only pink, but is accompanied by Mr. T and Ness)
Mr. T: I PITY THE FOOL WHO TRIES TO STEP TO CLUBBER LANG! CALL ME B.A. BICEPS, ’CUZ I CRUSH YO WHOLE GANG!
(Mr. T is suddenly joined by Chuck Norris, who both use their combined manliness to kill everyone, leaving everything in limbo)
Me: (Blank faced) What the hell just happened.
Senketsu: Apparently you are now a woman.
Me: (Realizes I’m wearing Senketsu) What the--!?
(Suddenly DmC Dante appears, only to be curbstomped by DMC4 Dante. Hazama also appears, staring at Giygas and shaking his head.)
Hazama: Son, i am disappoint.
Giygas: (Dies)
Me: (No longer wearing Senketsu) What the hell is going on!?
(Ansem, Xehanort, and Xemnas suddenly arrive, spazzing out Gmod style and screaming DARKNESS before exploding)
Me: (Too wierded the fuck out to care)
(Wonderful 101 appear, and start fighting with 1,000 Heartless. I am then sliced into ribbons by various anime chicks calling me a ‘pervert’ before they all disappear. I however, reform Majin Buu style while Colonel Campbell shouts ’*TIME PARADOX! FISSION MAILED!*)
Me: (Absolutely livid) CAN WE ALL JUST CALM THE FUCK DOWN FOR ONE MINUTE?!
(Everyone freezes for a split second, before the Sea Bear sneezes and everyone fights again)
Me: When is this gonna end…?
(My wish is granted by none other than Doctor Octagonapus, who fires a MegaLazer and essentially blows up my entire dream.)
The End. Yes, it did sound like a crappy fanfic. Why? Well, it is what happens when you switch games too often in one day, drink a soda, and then fap before going to bed when it is a Full Moon and after getting too close to a family member smokes a bong, all within thirty minutes of sleeping.

Uh.
Uh.

One dream I remember was that I was a liege that had to fight an evil, flying, shoe-wearing SHOEBOX who ate both of the Princesses of day and night (yes, the pastel colored horses). I defeated it and it regurgitated them both (no, it just opened its lid and plopped them out). The shoebox then turned over a leaf and flew off somewhere.

Last night in my dream, Johnny Test turned evil and tried to take over the world, and I teamed up with some friends, some other Johnny Test characters, Ash Ketchum, and Victini to stop him. The climax was one where I wrestled Johnny in a burning plane over New York City. It was pretty epic! In the end, he realized he was wrong and became good again, and the next morning, his show was actually watchable for once! (I woke up.)

Ok, many apologies for double posting, but I have to share this really insane dream-within-several-other-dreams I had last night.
………………………………………………………………….
I was watching Mary Poppins one afternoon, when for some reason, the movie was interrupted by a PSA about being careful when riding skateboards and bikes, being told by Poppins and the two kids. (The boy forgot his helmet while skateboarding and got a cut on his head. (There were skateboards in the 1910s?)) Then an announcer said that I was watching a special cut of the movie that wasn't used in the original product. (Never mind that I had watched this same VHS several times before and nothing of the sort was on there.)

Anyway, after the PSA it went straight to the "Step In Time" musical number, but only went through one verse before shifting to a scene involving the guys on top of the Bank's house who fire the cannons. Instead of firing fireworks at the dancing chimney-sweeps however, they were moved so much by the number that they felt their lives were complete and decided to commit suicide. The first guy jumped, but survived. (And yelled that he needed medical attention.) The other guy went and got his wife and they jumped off together. But the ground disappeared and turned into outer space, and they fell forever. "Hey, what happened? Where'd they go?" I wondered out loud. "Space. The final frontier…" was the answer given to me.

Before I know it, I'm in a frckn Star Trek episode and I'm on the Enterprise with Kirk, Spock and others. Mary Poppins and the kids were still there as well for some reason. We're en route to an undisclosed planet when we get word that there are Klingons on the ship and they're armed and dangerous. I ran away with Mary Poppins, the little boy, and some other guy as the Klingons invaded the flight deck and shot people with odd weapons, turning them into giant animals. We escaped to a break room and found two black and white kittens tapping away at computers and Chekov, now a giant chameleon, crawled around on another computer. We got discovered by a Klingon and escaped from manage to trick him into falling into the spaceship's mayonnaise supply, as mayo is apparently Klingons' weakness. (We left the boy in the break room for some reason.)

We start following a mayonnaise river back to the flight deck, only to get ambushed by even more Klingons. I managed to come up with a plan, and somehow wound up with one of the Klingon's weapons. I turned Mary Poppins and myself into very brainy Funny Animals (an iguana and a dinosaur like Ducky from Land Before Time respectively) and turned the third wheel in the group into a dust devil, making it impossible to see us to shoot us. Using junk around the room, we built a machine that wound up coating the entire Enterprise in mayonnaise, taking out any and all Klingons on the ship, while simultaneously restoring everyone's humanity in the process. Mary, the other guy, and I are congratulated by Kirk and Spock, and they let me pilot the Enterprise to their destination.

Then begins the dreams-within-a-dreams. I woke up right after that, and started heading downstairs to eat breakfast, only to suddenly wake up in bed again, this time, starting to take a shower before waking up again. This time, I went downstairs to find several friends having come for a visit, and they're trying to see how many of them can find into a hammock. I joined them, and then for some reason we all turned into the Koopalings from Super Mario, (I was Ludwig Von Koopa) and we were trying to see how many of us could stay on a tight rope the longest. Wendy O. was the first to fall off, and cut the rope out of frustration, and we all fell to the ground. I then got on my computer, and saw all sorts of news. 3DS's were apparently now only thirty dollars, and a new mechanic in the Pokemon games could get you unusal Pokemon, such as a white Zekrom, Lugia with purple wings, etc. I woke up again and started eating breackfast only to waker up again. Thisd time for real.

I didn't really have a notable dream last night, but I dozed off this morning and had a bunch of strange dreams.

• First, I woke up in my bed (I was sleeping on a sofa) on the roof of a building and I didn't know how to get down.

• I went to the store with my folks, but we couldn't get back home because of the ice and snow, so, out of frustration, I turned myself in Moltres and started flying around my town so spring would come early. (Before dozing off, I had just been fantasizing about doing this.)

• A giant bathroom in a church, where I witnessed a kid about to be molested(!!!). (I didn't actually see it happen.

• And finally, a bizarre episode of The Amazing World Of Gumball, where Gumball woke up to find himself turned into Jack Skellington, and was carried down the stairs by zombie versions of Fish Hook characters. Nicole Watterson was freaking out about the insane crap happening around her, as well as Gumball's lackadaisical attitude towards it, and pointed out Darwin and Richard, now a block of Jello and a Swallot respectively, fighting over a fire hydrant that was really Anais. Richard ran off crying, and then I woke up.

Sorry about making the third post in a row, but I thought this was pretty weird. Strange what scrambled eggs will do to you…it gives you scrambled dreams! (CARLOS!)

>be security guard
>working at underground research facility
>alarms and klaxons start blaring
>oh shit, zombies!
>start evacuating facility through Stairwell C
>calmly shuffle scientists up the stairs
>once everyone's gone, hook little chain with "Closed" written on it in front of the Stair door
>exit the facility before it self destructs or locks me in or something
>Stairwell C leads to parking lot in industrial complex filled with warehouses
>phew, it's over
>zombies start breaking down and climbing over the wooden fences that surround the parking lot
>jump into 70s era Ford F-150
>hotwire it
>get scientists/other people to jump into the truck's bed
>peel out of the parking lot before the zombies can catch us
>wake up

Definitely one of the best and coolest dreams I've ever had.