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Your move, Anon

I lol'd and then immediately googled nuclear fallout shelters.

Why do you care? You're Canadian.

@article >implying China doesn't have America by the balls as it is

Thank you, Fridge Logic, for the funniest headline I've read this week.

Well, I don't think you Americans have much to worry, if it's a single building then it's an easier target. :)

I care. This is because Canada is to be annexed by the United States before the war starts.
However, we're safe until Nuk-Cola becomes a successful brand.

Why do you care? You’re Canadian.

Larger version

Fun fact: Both Ottawa and Hamilton were on the Russians Top 50 Cities We'd Nuke list.
But Toronto didn't make it. Probably because it lacks the heavy industry Hamilton has.

Lol basing predictions of the future on video games

Anyways, I'm not trying to imply that nuking America doesn't impact anyone else, I just highly doubt that China is going to nuke us at any time. That's like shooting your sugar daddy in the face.

Don't thank me, thank the New York Times.

And me.

And Basedgod

Sorry for the double post, but this story seems to have made its way to TV. I'm currently watching it on World News Tonight.

SOON THEY WILL CONVERT OUR CELLPHONE TOWERS' MICROWAVE TRANSMITTERS TO REPROGRAM OUR THOUGHTS AND CONVERT US INTO SLAVES TO THE PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC.

puts on tinfoil hat
TRY GETTING ME NOW YOU BAST- bursts into flames

I can see a new cartoon coming out in the future:

"In the year 24 of the Internet era, the evil empires of Zhongia and Black Ruthenia launched an all-out attack against the nation of Columbia – but not using tanks, planes, or soldiers: they entered the Columbian cyberspace, indirectly causing server crashes, deaths in WoW, the bankruptcy of many companies as Nalve, Cybernetic Arts and Roboblast, and the loss of millions of dollars in credits. With the Columbian cyberspace all but overrun, its army found a new hope in a group of teens that known only what was inside their bedroom.

Enter the Cyberheroes."

boy, i could make money outta this

It could be a video game, too. Like an abstract hacking game of some sort. You'd have to do this extended minigame where you have to figure out what the password is by connecting various points and such, and it'd have a timer before you're locked out or possibly traced. Certain hacking targets will grant you funds to upgrade your equipment to repel other hackers, and others will do other things such as hinder opponents. The ultimate goal is to take back America Columbia by defeating the 'boss', the enemy empires which have untold trillions of funds to reinforce their defenses.

Game over man, game over!

I hope you realize that's North Korea.

Yes I do know.
But is there any games out there that have the Chinese invading?

Meanwhile, I decide whether I should become a ghoul or die of radiation.

There's Risk, if you play the right way.

Yeah, but that also means that there's less crap for us to blow up.

Well, the 2012 version of Red Dawn was actually going to have the Chinese as the villains but then the filmmakers realized they wouldn't make as much money in China if it had American teens gunning down CHINESE soldiers, so they changed the villains in post-production to North Korea.

I find the idea of a North Korean invasion highly implausible. Besides, they've probably already convinced their people that they've always been at war with us, Nineteen Eighty-Four style.

What… I would laugh my arse off if this was true!!!

I mean, seriously… do the Chinese really have that much time on their hands?

You mean like this?

It's really the only reason they could have for pulling stunts like that which doesn't require the entire nation to have an IQ that makes Lenny look like a genius in comparison.

White House threatens trade sanctions for countries found cyber-snooping

International diplomacy may feel like schoolyard antics, but the participants do have something a little heavier to throw at each other. After President Obama signed an executive order to improve national cyber security, the White House is now reportedly opening the box marked Trade and Diplomatic Sanctions, which it'll lob at any country that's found to be appropriating US trade secrets. The executive has published a report, outlining a dozen thefts from companies such as GM, Ford and DuPont, fingering China as being behind a majority of them. If the hacking persists, then James Lewis, of the Center for Strategic and International Studies, says the White House should deny visas or access to US banks to Chinese people and corporations -- making us wistful for the courtroom dramas of yore.

I don't think you see my point.

Nineteen Eighty-Four was about a world in which the three ruling superpowers had convinced their people that they were always at war. The nation in which the story takes place, Oceania, tells its people that it has always been at war with Eurasia and in allegiance with Eastasia and anyone who denies it – actually, no one denies it because they're all too scared to speak up. In the middle of the book, during a huge Anti-Eurasian rally, a Party member giving a speech is told midway through that the war has changed – Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia and at peace with Eurasia – and no one says "that's not right!" or "you're lying!" They all instantly convince themselves that they were wrong, had been wrong for years; the Ministry of Truth (aka propaganda) then spends the next two weeks/month/doesn't-really-matter changing history because they're all too afraid to rely on their memories, which they have been told are utterly wrong, for information and submit to the Party, which is always right. When someone in Oceania acts out of line, makes a strange movement, does anything to indicate that they are not completely in line with the Party, they are sent off to be tortured and reeducated. It is a fate worse than death, and it is something that eventually happens to everyone.

My point is that North Korea is possibly the only place on the globe where this nightmare is actually real. Defectors have told stories about being raised in prison camps, brainwashing, and so on. And we've all seen pictures of people being forced to weep openly in mourning of Kim Jong-Il. The country is a literal dystopia. It's entirely within the realm of possibility that the people have been brainwashed into believing that they have always been at war with the United States.

Actually, North Korea, South Korea and the United States are still at war – no peace treaty was ever signed, just an armistice.

So, technically… they really always have been at war with the United States.

More US wars oh well we're oka- wait i forget everyone else gets dragged in.

I hope this doesn't get ugly, the US economy would be thrown into chaos if it went bad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAdKrsLe9EM

my opinion

That's right, I forgot about that!

Well, that really just makes my theory all the more plausible.

No, no, I see the point perfectly. It's just like 1984. "People's republic" my ass!