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@Genders
I honestly don't care what gender someone is. I usually just go by the screenname.

I'm totally stealing this and using it as the cover for one of my blog posts.

Failed discussion topic: Both of the last two "major" shitstorms (Everfree Northwest and Equestria Girls) were underwhelming and I've been wanting to enjoy the glory of broken dreams and rustled jimmies once more. Twilicorn spoiled me. What do you think will be the next big shitstorm?

Possible contenders:
>SDCC announcements
>Season Four leak
>Sweet Apple Acres Con becoming Unicon 2.0
>BronyCon

xTSGx was all like…

-Failed- discussion topic: Both of the last two “major” shitstorms (Everfree Northwest and Equestria Girls) were underwhelming and I’ve been wanting to enjoy the glory of broken dreams and rustled jimmies once more. Twilicorn spoiled me. What do you think will be the next big shitstorm?
Possible contenders:
>SDCC announcements
>Season Four leak
>Sweet Apple Acres Con becoming Unicon 2.0
>BronyCon

EFNW was a shitstorm? Anyway, of the four you listed, I'd have to say SAAC becoming Unicon 2.0 because it isn't that big-name (and it's in Tennessee), but I won't be going to BronyCon and I don't know if they dropped my panel, so that could be a minor shitstorm.

In the meantime, how about a Berry Punch thread?

@Jimmy Lethal
A Berry Punch Thread? Oh boy!

Berry Punch thread it is

I'm actually starting to enjoy the shitstorms. It's like free theater. Someone should keep some kind of record so that future generations can read them and laugh.

The Big Book of Shitstorms?

So I was thinking about Cupcakes, and I came up with an alternate ending where the whole thing is a movie /kym/ is watching. You guys think I should write it?

I don't know about you guys but I saw the thread on 4chan of the guy trying to marry Twilight talking about how he and Twilight partake in…bondage…….the pictures he posted……..I have witnessed hell….I don't like people anymore, I have lost all faith in humanity if this guy is serious.

When it comes to shitstorms I'm kinda waiting for the next one. It's always fun to see a bunch of people get pissed off at something or when the incredibly fanatic bronies start flipping their shit at "OMG THEY CHANGED ONE OF THE COLORS IN RAINBOW DASH'S MANE! RUINED FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

@Berry Punch thread: She actually happens to be one of my least favorite background ponies. So……………C-c-c-c-c-c-combo breaker!

@Jimmy

@Kewln00b
Yeah, the thread was posted in image gallery, though it seems like it has been removed. I saw it earlier today in the most commented section. Though, if I'm correct, I saw those photos of bondaged Twily a while ago, without the thread.
There are a few weird ones out there, but if this guy's serious, he beats them all.

@Bondage Twily:

Hey guys, what's going on over…?

I left this forum hours ago, came back and the first thing I saw was Lyra tied up and gag'd O_O

:

haha internet you amuse me so..

Off Topic: I saved myself from choking to death on a soda can's opening piece by forcefully throwing up.

Jimmy Lethal wrote:

Off Topic: I saved myself from choking to death on a soda can’s opening piece by forcefully throwing up.

Thanks for sharing that. I'm sure everyone wanted to know.

@Markhaox14

Careful with sourcing to Funnyjunk. Their images can't be hotlinked from other websites.

Apparently it's random image posting time:

SunsetSparkle

@Kewln00b : I got your back buddy

Random picture time?

ah, somebody insane, then? I wouldn't be too worried.

Not only insanity, it's pretty sad actually [SFW]

And as Kewln00b said, there were some… "sexual" stuff… Thank God I don't know how to find those pictures anymore…

Not to sound mean if he isn't.. But are you sure he's not trolling? I know he said he wasn't but that may.. Just be part of the troll, if he isn't then, just wow.. I wonder what twilight would say about their engagement..

@Dr Whooves:
You know a guy isn't trolling when he uses a Pony doll to masturbate (Really)

@Waifu thief

I wonder why he keeps posting online. I mean, it's just a doll and he can do what he wants with it. If he just stayed off /mlp/ there would be no shitstorm. This alone suggests that he might be a troll, or that he is doing all this for attention. I say we leave him alone – if this is legit, then he isn't hurting anyone and there really isn't a problem; if he is a troll, then the usual "don't feed the troll" protocol applies.

Really? shivers I imagine that this Kevinsano person is going to have a ball replying to that comment.. the fact that most of his message was explaining why it wasn't weird when the person who's messaging didn't originally say it was weird says a lot to me really.. I kind of, in a weird way get what he means when he says "if it doesn't hurt anyone else then what's the problem?" Though the problem is he's trying to censor other peoples work.. I mean I don't know of "Kevinsano" or the images and I don't know how graphic they were but you have to be living in your own world to write something like this.. my favorite part purely for irony reasons is:"I'm lucky as to have a partner who's so smart funny and beautiful and all around wonderful as her" it's also annoying because people see men like this with their pony toys in public and then all Bronies get labeled like that..

See, this guy is why The Network sees us as basement-dwelling thirty-somethings who eat Cheetos and fap to pony all day.

But we're more than that.

They underestimate our power.

Wait. Is that Mark or is that supposed to be me? I'm confused.

Mark is the one who showed me the pic, so I'd have to say it would be her. Here, have a random Daring Do.

Jimmy Lethal wrote:

Mark is the one who showed me the pic, so I’d have to say it would be her. Here, have a random Daring Do.

In other news:

@Mr. Married-a-plushie

Oh, him again? Hasn't he been around for a year or so already?

I see folks still ain't quite sure if he's for real or not. And, more often than not, that's the hallmark of a successful false-flag operation.

I get the feeling most of you aren't well versed in the games of intrigue and subterfuge. Not that I'd expect you to be, their whole point is the fact that few know them. Even folk like me who've had a taste can, at best, do guesswork.

Possibility one, he's an undercover operative, an agent provocateur trying to sabotage the fandom from within. Most likely a member of some higher-caliber trolling community, or perhaps a disgruntled former fan. Before you question the validity of such an assertion, let me remind you that planting a turncoat is espionage 101, and an especially easy task with an online group that thinks itself safe. As for motivation, well, hatred is a force as strong as love, despite what all those optimistic stories tell ya.

Now, what makes me think this might be a possibility? Quite simple, just about all of his actions seem to be calculated to be as visible and as credible as possible. Note how he doesn't blather and scream, but articulates himself well and comes across as calm and collected, despite the subject matter? Given he seems to have the smarts to do that, one would assume he also has the smarts to know that this is one of those things best kept to oneself. But if we assume that this was some sort of fluke, a momentary lapse in judgment, how come he seems so enthusiastic to parade it about as much as he can? He apparently frequents well-known boards and doesn't hesitate to bring this up. That simply doesn't add up, so there most likely something else in play here.

Which brings us to possibility two, he's trying to obfuscate something by appearing insane. This is a very effective trick if you want the bulldogs off your scent, just make a grand display of appearing slightly crazy but ultimately harmless, and they usually won't bother digging any deeper. Case is closed, you have a good alibi for any somewhat suspicious behaviour for use in the future and get to continue with whatever criminal operations you have under the hood.

Of course, he could just be off his rocker, too. After all, not all insanity manifests itself as chaotic rambling and wild revelry. Some crazies are just like you and me, and quite often smarter too, just a bit off in some respects. But those types usually know it's best to keep that fact under wraps. This guy apparently doesn't, despite the fact that he should, by all logic. Still, what do I know about being in bedlam, eh?

And hey, him being some kind of spy or criminal mastermind just makes for a better story overall, doesn't it?

OK… I woke up somewhere, tied up and gagged. And now Disturbed is trying to take my place as the thread's Lyra. Could this get any worse?

Well… I can say it got better… :D

@markhaox14
But I thought you were Guyra.

Now I'm really confused.

Well, that's her avatar…

W-Wait. Who is the official Lyra to the Pony General now?

I thought his activity seemed somewhat suspicious of trolling, I thought since he has a Plushie and a T-shirt, that he wasn't trolling but to be fair that can be put on by anyone and it could make the trolling more believable but him owning a Twilight Sparkle duvet is what convinced me that he wasn't trolling and he was just a little odd. I mean I can't see him going to such small details to convince everyone, since the duvet isn't really noticeable unless you look for it.. I get the idea that he doesn't see it as weird or wrong and that's why he promotes it, and to be fair if it doesn't hurt anyone then it doesn't really concern us. It only bothers me when he speaks as if he holds the copyright to that character because they're married and therefore he can tell people what they can and can't do with that character, that's Hasbro's job!

So yeah, interesting points but honestly I think he's just a bit eccentric.. or as you said "off his rocker".

:

Holy shit, you know Randomman IRL?

@Bondage Lyra

@ Guy "marrying" plushy.
Is that even legal? If so, why aren't same sex marriages permitted?

Eh, it's definitely Mark. I'm just being a douchebag.

Markhaox struggled furiously against the hogtie, but it was no use. The ropes binding her hooves were tied too tight.

She began to sob into her ballgag. She didn't know what to do. She seemed to be in a house in the middle of a desert, nobody surrounding her for miles.

She gave up.

As Markhaox hung her head in defeat, the door to the room creaked open. The shadows of two stallions loomed on the wall. Markhaox yelled into her gag in fear.

The two stallions walked into the room. One was a white-coated unicorn with spiky black mane and tail, whose cutie mark was a spade. She recognized him as a rapper named Ace, but knew very little about the guy.

The other, an earth pony, had a similar, dark-colored mane and tail, except his coat was blue and he had piercing red eyes. The strangest part about him was the markings on his body – they seemed to consist of cryptic white text. This strange stallion's cutie mark seemed to be an error symbol, a white X in a red circle.

Ace spoke, "Hey, Blue, you know this chick?"

When suddenly Tom Dan OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE!

That's right ladies, action hero Tom Dan is here to save the day. Using his massive amount of girth, his directive is clean and swift, it was the white stallion that first entered the room. With a loud CRASH Tom Dan lands his girth right on the puny little stallion, killing him in a single blow. BLOOD IS EVERYWHERE! The gory scene makes the blue, error-rotic, earth pony pale from fear, as pale as the white-coated unicorn whose intestines are now splattered over the wall.

Tom Dan point his shades at the Blue earth pony and demands him to untie the mare, to which he does as requested. The mare then takes place on top of Tom Dan's massive girth as they fly off into space, with the Blue earth pony saluting them.

@Mr. Married-a-plushie

Ah yes, we now know what the latest shitstorm from the fandom is going to be. The recent outbreak of "Bondage Twilight" brought to us by none other than the same guy who married a plush toy of Twilight Sparkle.

…Makes the Lyra sex toy look like an amateur work in both design and epic trolling…

The images came through into the MLP image gallery. They've been quickly flagged and deleted due to containing straight on man-on-fake-pony sex. But by now the pictures of that guys junk halfway up Twilights 100% cotton butt is all over the internet and butthurt will be felt all around.

Now it's hard to tell if this guy is a troll or not. People are making theories here and there. We can agree that he's one of two things:

1. The greatest Brony troll in the history of the world

2. Mentally ill and/or with an deeply developed Tulpa.

The case for him being the greatest troll in brony history

Making anti-pony gore images? Shit tier compared to this guy. He doesn't just make some imagery or hateful words and call it a day, no this guy is a master of the craft, he puts soul and effort into his work.

When a troll like himself thinks "fuck ponies", he's obviously high above idle threats. An expert like himself gets off his chair, pulls down his pants and he literally fucks a pony. That's how god-tier this dude is in the art of trolling.

He knows that millions of horsefuckers around the world will be seething in jealous rage of him living the dream. And the best part is that consequences don't just fall on him thanks to his guise. They all have to answer for his horsefuckery. It's the perfect troll. His mother is proud. And Twilight Sparkle has never been more satisfied. Suing people making porn of his "wife" was a good one too which also shows he's not a one-trick-brony.

May all trolls look upon this guy and learn a valuable lesson on how it's truly done: You want Bronies to go away? Marry a plush toy. Even if you fail, at least you make something of your life.

The case for him being mentally ill

Sure, everything the guy does is of trolling nature…marrying a plush, suing porn artists and posting twilight bondage….but when making a conspiracy theory about malicious intent, one must also consider the worth of putting so much effort into malice before concluding as such.

Would it be worth trolling bronies if it means becoming more than just the monster but live the stereotype of it too? Not if you are sane.

He's actually convinced himself that Twilight is real and so is his love. Looking at how he treats that plush toy as a loving companion, it's too realistic. You cannot fake what he does. If he's faking that love, he should start a career in Hollywood. But he's not an actor, he's a regular guy

He's going far beyond what any troll would ever do into territory that only the deranged would enter. If you hate bronies so much you would destroy your entire reputation and ostrasize yourself from your family and any possibility of having a girlfried just to bring them down slightly, you are insane. If an inanimate object becomes your soul mate and sexual interest, you are also insane. Either way, you're insane

And here's the kicker: he's not alone.

Marrying inanimate objects is not new at all. It's been happening for years, long before MLP entered the scene. Ever heard of RealDolls? They are mannequins of women designed to be a realistic as possible. Fake women. They are a real thing and there are many guys still married to these things. Don't know if the marriage is honored in court but people evidently get away with it

What our favorite Twilight-husband is doing is essentially the same thing…just with a plush instead of a RealDoll…maybe because RealDolls are expensive as hell.

Conclusion

So which one is he? 1 or 2?

In case you haven't be catching my sarcasm, I find 2 far more likely. This is essentially the option favored by occams razor.

1. I know trolls well enough that they don't try this hard.

2. I know humanity well enough that they fuck inanimate objects. Crazy or not.

So someone is making us all look bad just by going full Brony. Should we shitstorm? What can be done? You decide. Personally, I don't care.

@RM

Thank you for stopping that before it started

Blue just stared off into the distance, shocked and appalled at what he just witnessed.

The sound of hooves alerted the error pony, who turned to face the hall. When the pony reached the door, it was… Ace?

"Ace," Blue questioned, "what the fuck are you doing here? You died." The white stallion looked at his own corpse, then back at Blue.

"Oh, yeah, that," the unicorn responded, "you see, that was a version of me that was part of some low-tier dimension. I figured I'd stop by this one, and now I see another dimensional version of me is dead."

"Wait… another?"

Ace laughed and took a sip from the Mountain Dew he had on him. "Oh, yeah. Hundreds of mes are dead. Probably stuff conjured up by that RandomMan dude. Guy hates my guts."

Blue was confused. Random was out to get Ace? What did he do?

Before the blue stallion could ask, Ace answered. "Well, this guy thinks I'm like some kind of Gary Stu because I'm with Vinyl. Now, apparently where he's from, Vinyl and Octavia are the preferred couple, and I've barely ever been brought up – I'm some mid-card forum guy's OC. Now, apparently that rubbed a few of those guys the wrong way, and they're not exactly fans of mine. Hence why so many different versions of me have died."

Blue tried to comprehend all this. So Ace has died multiple times, but he never really died, and there are still millions of Aces out there, and Ace is a fictional character in the second most important dimension in the ultraverse?

"Does any of this matter to you at all?" asked the earth pony.

Ace replied with "Absolutely not." The white stallion then abruptly teleported away, probably back to the Prime dimension. Blue looked down at where his dimension's Ace's corpse was, but it had vanished.

"I live with a bunch of freaks."

THE GODDAMN END

EDIT: Nevermind, fucking double ninja'd. Here, have this as a consolation.

BSoD wrote:

@RM
Thank you for stopping that before it started

Anything for you sweetie.

Jimmy wrote:

Before the blue stallion could ask, Ace answered. “Well, this guy thinks I’m like some kind of Gary Stu because I’m with Vinyl. Now, apparently where he’s from, Vinyl and Octavia are the preferred couple, and I’ve barely ever been brought up – I’m some mid-card forum guy’s OC. Now, apparently that rubbed a few of those guys the wrong way, and they’re not exactly fans of mine. Hence why so many different versions of me have died.”

Look at my post as you will, but I really don't care that you have an OC nor however way you ship it. But if you must know, I am bothered by the quantity and the constant forcing into any topic imaginable, not the OC himself. Images of Lyra don't mean rapefic with Ace and BSoD. BSoD clearly stating he has no interest in being shipped with Ace doesn't mean he actually wants your D (he already has Fifths'). You can have an OC, but please remind yourself that people don't have to accept him into their lives, that's all there is to it.

RandomMan was all like…

Look at my post as you will, but I really don’t care that you have an OC nor however way you ship it. But if you must know, I am bothered by the quantity and the constant forcing into any topic imaginable, not the OC himself. Images of Lyra don’t mean rapefic with Ace and BSoD. BSoD clearly stating he has no interest in being shipped with Ace doesn’t mean he actually wants your D (he already has Fifths’). You can have an OC, but please remind yourself that people don’t have to accept him into their lives, that’s all there is to it.

So basically avoid forced meme status. Alright, I feel ya.

Glad to have that worked out.

As am I.

So, I recently had the random idea to make Blue Screen in WWE '13. Do you guys want to see that?

Now that the awkward roleplaying is over let's get back to reads through thread no, don't wanna talk about guy fucking Twilight Sparkle again reads through thread no, that's still awkward reads through thread sigh Berry Punch thread?

@Jimmy

So, I recently had the random idea to make Blue Screen in WWE ’13. Do you guys want to see that?

The what now? Is that like some wrestling game?

Whatever it is, do what you will. Post screenshots

In the meantime, lets get back to Berry Punch.

I bet most of you guys aren't even alcoholics. I down an entire case every Friday night, how about you?

[edit]

Oh dammit the threads over anyway. NEXT PAGE