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Oh, well. If that's the case, I've already given advice on auto-fellatio. He should follow that.

Firm grasp and rigorous stimulation.

Bob, what should I get my girlfriend for Valentine's Day? I've already gave her a necklace, but I don't really know what else to give her?

I'm pretty sure a pearl necklace is all you ever need to give her.

how do i stop being such a fucking doormat

Stop standing in front of doors.

On a serious note: You have to understand that you do deserve some things in life for yourself. Therefore, you don't need to bend to the whim of every person who makes you feel like a doormat. If you don't want to do something, and you feel it's reasonable that you get some time for yourself, then say no and do as you want.

However, if we're talking about parents, parents always get final say if you live with them.

I got a bad haircut

People are wrong on the internet, but believe they're right because the majority of other people are also wrong. If this happens, what do I do?

Is there a "right" way to brainstorm? And if so, does it apply the same in different situations like trying to come up with a mathematical proof or trying to think of a plot for an assignment for a creative writing class, or trying to design a good Mario Maker level?

How do I get a job?

I have these dreams where I experience a vibrating device that substitutes the male reproductive cell dispenser passionately being implanted up faceless offspring, of unidentified biological breeding units, rectum by programmable artificial machines.

Meanwhile I find that identity which I acknowledge myself as is, paralysed and unable to operate this Identites, which is I myself, own biological upper constructs, that primarily serves 24 hours of the 7 days that is found in what is commonly called weeks, to carry and lift objects.

Shave your head completely and let it all regrow.

You must realize that all people are wrong unless they hold the same opinions as me.

Just throw a bunch of things out there until something sticks. That's what I do.

Though, I hear getting high gives some good ideas.

Lots of diligence, rejection, and alcoholism. Eventually you'll find something.

Just get yourself a vibrator, already.

In my twenties, living with mom and pop, probably gonna go get shot or fly some RC plane in a foreign country in a few years, blew my paycheck ass kissing and buying a GPU I truly don't need, Have no social life on or offline. Wat do?

Well, lots of people live with their parents in their twenties. It really depends on where you live and how you're doing financially. Being an adult is hard, yo.

I'd say use your money smarter and start socializing. Socializing is important.

How do I start conversations with people who I idolize / think are cool without coming off as a freak

Just stop giving a crap and roll with it.

Either that or catch them when they’re fapping. At that point, there’s nothing you can do that would out-weird them.

Edit: Forgot to quote, sorry.

Any advice on how to stop nose hair from growing?

I hear acid burns stop hair growth.

How do I rig presidential election???

Start inspiring political memes.

Start forcing political memes?

Yes.

What do you do when people from the irc spam a forum about flight simulators? (And then getting banned)

My life is now dominated by goat

HELP

How do you cure from a disgusting cold?

This isn't seeking advice, so it's spam… about flight simulator spam.

My guess is ban them.

Stop being the sub in your relationship, obviously.

Well, the common cold is an illness that has long eluded an actual cure. So…. darwinism?

Are you actually a good source to come to for advice?

That's not asking for advice.