Before I begin, I'm gonna say I'm putting this in JFF since user-centric things aren't allowed in general from what I can tell, and most of the people involved are here anyway. If there's a better spot, feel free to move it. With that aside, I've got things to say.
Hello KYM. It's me, MiloticExalted. Now before everyone resumes the witch-hunt I'd like to say some things.
First of all, I'm sorry. Really, truly sorry. The last few days (week?) have been really hectic for everyone here, I think, with all the mod/admin drama, deactivations and now this. But before I try to clear the air, I want to explain my side of the story, and why I did the things I now regret. I waited till today to post this, so that hopefully tensions would have cooled down after everyone's had a chance to sleep and think.
It all started with the mod/admin drama. Anyone that knew me here, as in knew my history with the site and where I came from, would know that I had issues with the moderation system in place here at KYM. In the real world, it was time for midterms, no sleep and headaches for me, but that's beside the point. The day that happened, I was "recovering", to say the least, and wasn't exactly thinking straight. I logged in as per usual, saw the mods arguing with the admins and, with my little knowledge of what was actually going, made a fantastically shitty post about how "the mods think they're more important than the admins" and went on my merry way, my confused self legitmately thinking I was being funny. I returned from classes and immediately noticed everyone mocking me, insulting me, etc, the usual post-shitpost norm for Riff-Raff. "Ok," I thought, "I fucking screwed up there." Strike one, but i'm sure it's just a fluke. I was tired, after all.
Then, the Family Photo thread. I'm gonna be a bit more brief here since most of those involved probably know the story. I went into the thread and remembered the last one of its kind, where everybody just started asking to be in pics and it got really annoying. I thought to myself "I should make a post asking NOT to be in a picture! Maybe that'll mix things up? Like, just put myself in acting antisocial or something." I was very wrong, apparently, and got in an argument with TripleA over what's allowed in those kinds of threads. But no matter how much I wanted to explain, I knew I screwed up again. Strike two, feeling like shit now. But I took TripleA's words to heart for next time a thread like that would pop up. I mean, it was pretty rude of me to only include myself in a thread called "Family Photos", right? "I'll do better next time."
Turns out "next time" happened sooner than I thought. I told myself I'd just leave it be. Wouldn't want another fiasco like last time, right? I remembered what I learned from last time, and not talking to anyone enough to make a picture, decided not to try and make any jokes. But, as with most threads, it happened anyway. Roy G. Biv made a picture with only himself in it. Now, before anything else, this isn't to demonize Roy or call him out on anything. If anyone else posted something like that, it would have ended up the same way. So I'm sorry if you feel like I'm calling you out, I'm not trying to. Anyway, contrary to my expectations, and what I learned from last time, that picture was recieved very well. As you might imagine, I was angry. I felt cheated, lied to, misled, and deliberately toyed with. There aren't many things in the world I hate more than double-standards, and, to put it bluntly, this community has a pretty terrible track record with them. Why, after all, what that one so much better recieved than mine? What was the difference? I'm not saying I was right here, but if you were told the hard way why you shouldn't do something, wouldn't you feel the same if someone else could get away with it and you couldn't? And to think I was already feeling pretty shitty after my last two posts, this was the straw that broke the camel's back.
I was pretty furious that it felt like how well my posts were recieved was no longer dependent on the quality of the posts themselves. Until then, I was perfectly willing to accept my past screwups and continue on with my life. But now, I felt like people just had a grudge against me and wanted me to suffer, or leave, or whatever, jsut because I wasn't part of this magical KYM ubermensch. I figured now was the time everyone finally wanted me gone for good. This wasn't the first time, after all. So… "fuck it", I said, and deactivated my main account after posting my reaction to the thing, and switched over to my alt, Jerry. I thought if people wanted to hate me just for being me, I'd hate them back. At least, that's how it seemed in my head at the time. I went on a downvoting spree, thinking that would make them understand. I regret every minute of it now, but at the time I thought I could make a difference my putting others through what I thought was "my pain". Long story short, Jerry was banned only a couple hours after that ( IP banned too! Though, from my following research through the forums, I'm pretty sure that was from my attempts at logging back into Jerry after not realizing it was banned. Apparently hitting the login screen too many times causes an IP ban. )
Ok, so my account's deactivated, and Jerry's gone. "Alright," I thought. "That's enough. I'm upset, tired, humilated and this isn't making anything better for me." So I left. I wanted to leave this place behind and never come back; not after all that. I've made a fool of myself already, and now I'm the newest laughing stock. It couldn't possibly get any worse than this. But something about memes just makes you keep coming back, as I'm sure we all know too well. Unwillingly, I lurked more the next day.
Then, the drama blew up like I never thought it would. I had classes that day, so I was out of commission until around 5-6PM, but when I came back, people were still blaming me for things, calling me out as salty, degenerate, cringy, the whole ham really. Someone else was downvoting all the threads and everyone seemed to think it was me, and it hurt to think you guys really thought of me that way after coming to terms with it the day before. I felt helpless; with my IP banned from the Jerry incident, there was nothing I could do to set the record straight and prevent me from becoming even more of a joke than I already was/am, but you guys didn't seem to know I was IP banned and therefore couldn't be the one behind it, and continued to blame me for the things this framer was doing. I dwelled on this for awhile, and after a nap, realized one last thing I could possibly do. I made a new email, and found a usable proxy to try and get something through to you and set the record straight that I was done with this a day ago, and that the new votes weren't from me.
It… didn't work. Unfortunately the timing of my solution was horrible, as the framer had just been found ( If the thread's telling the truth, it apparently went by "Try and Stop Me". I actually got a bit of a chuckle out of it; whoever you are, do you really think I'm that edgy? Assuming this is intentional. More on that later. ). So, with my terrible timing and rushed "solution", naturally nobody would believe me, and I once again managed to make the situation even worse than before. I'd lost count of my screwups at this point, and I didn't care much to remember them. But I didn't want to just give up, and let my name be remembered only by all this senseless drama, and immortalized forever in the forum's memory as the little shitposter that couldn't. Even though I want to leave, I still have good memories of this place and I feel like I've made a lot of friends here, and I didn't want to end it all on such a shitty note. As one final attempt, I wrote this. This is my apology for everything I've done over the last few days.
