Forums / Fun! / Just For Fun

Showed up for work this morning.

They said, "What're you doing here?"

I said, "I start at six-thirty, don't I?"

They said, "Yeah; P.M."

Nice…

They should give you a promotion for that. No questions asked.

Sounds like something I would do

Lol, yesterday morning I freaked when my sister woke me up for school. I checked the clock, and it said :45, right when the bus is supposed to pull up on our street.

I zip into my clothes, grab my stuff, and run out the door. But there was no bus in sight, and there was nobody at the stop either, so my sister and I assumed the bus already came and trudged back home, bracing ourselves for the inevitable chewing out our mom would get us.

As soon as we enter the door my sister yells,"Mom, we missed the bus." I glanced at the clock, and it spoke to me.

"3:46 you derptard. Problem?"

Oh, look at the time!…

So, I show up to work again at about a quarter to six, and I'm fiddling around on my laptop when one of my co-workers comes up to me and says, "Hey buddy, can you do me a favor?"

Jokingly, I say, "What, let you work my shift?"

"Yes, actually," he replies.

"You're serious?"

Turns out he came in to work the same shift I'm on for, but the schedule had been rewritten since the last time he looked at it. He lives about a forty-minute drive away and this was one of only two shifts he had this week, while I live about five blocks away and am working six days this week. Furthermore, I'm behind on school work (no doubt in no small part due to the time I spend screwing around on this site…) and I hate working evening shifts.

Anyway, it seems I got dressed and came to work twice today without actually working once.

I went downstairs to grab something from the living room and realised I'd self-consciously went into the kitchen where my dad and colleague were having tea.

I don't get it, but you've reminded me of an old one: One day when I was a kid, I was sitting watching TV with my dad, and he said, "Go get me a beer from the fridge, would you?" So I went to the fridge, came back and held it out to him. He gave me a funny look. I looked down at my hand and I had somehow grabbed a gallon of milk.

One I buried a body in my front yard, but then the neighbor's dog dug it up and brought it's arm to its owners. So I had to kill them too.

And then I fapped.

One I buried a body in my front yard, but then the neighbor’s dog dug it up and brought it’s arm to its owners. So I had to kill them too.

And then I fapped. Desu.

fix'd

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