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Anon talks about Goldfish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)22:19:24 No.877795556 It's probably a good thing that goldfish have such short memories. Imagine being in their shoes >you are separated from all your friends in the tank & dumped into a small bowl by yourself 36 KB JPG >you'll get a treasure chest and maybe a mini- castle if you're lucky >all you get to do for fun is swim around these things >your s--- just floats around your home, and you sometimes feel compelled to eat it >there's also a 90% chance that your owner will be a small child who will probably forget to feed you, leaving you to die of starvation It's a good thing they pretty much have built-in dementia so they don't fully realize what a living hell their existence is.
: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)22:19:24 No.877795556 It's probably a good thing that goldfish have such short memories. Imagine being in their shoes >you are separated from all your friends in the tank & dumped into a small bowl by yourself 36 KB JPG >you'll get a treasure chest and maybe a mini- castle if you're lucky >all you get to do for fun is swim around these things >your s--- just floats around your home, and you sometimes feel compelled to eat it >there's also a 90% chance that your owner will be a small child who will probably forget to feed you, leaving you to die of starvation It's a good thing they pretty much have built-in dementia so they don't fully realize what a living hell their existence is.

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/v/idya on da battle of Washington D.C | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/22(Wed)08:07:21 No.597106146 >takes over half of europe in 24 hours >controls the entire east coast of USA CALL DUTY 9EDERN WARFARE in 1 week >in reality can't even capture the capital of the poorest europe country why vidya games keep overestimating the Russia's strength? while the real 222 KB JPG deal is China?
: Anonymous 04/27/22(Wed)08:07:21 No.597106146 >takes over half of europe in 24 hours >controls the entire east coast of USA CALL DUTY 9EDERN WARFARE in 1 week >in reality can't even capture the capital of the poorest europe country why vidya games keep overestimating the Russia's strength? while the real 222 KB JPG deal is China?

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Anon chats with his coworkers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)06:13:44 No.66100333 >be office lunch >coworkers are (for some reason) talking about how many sexual partners they've had >despite being the quiet incel type, I've actually had 8 girls in my entire life 21 KB JPG >so mention that I've slept with 8 people while getting something from the fridge >one coworker: "escorts don't count, silly." everyone snickers >me (taking slight offense): "your cousins don't count either, cheryl" >for some reason, I'm the one who gets in trouble
: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)06:13:44 No.66100333 >be office lunch >coworkers are (for some reason) talking about how many sexual partners they've had >despite being the quiet incel type, I've actually had 8 girls in my entire life 21 KB JPG >so mention that I've slept with 8 people while getting something from the fridge >one coworker: "escorts don't count, silly." everyone snickers >me (taking slight offense): "your cousins don't count either, cheryl" >for some reason, I'm the one who gets in trouble

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Anon gets his money's worth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)00:24:01 No.877798725 >Be me >Buy an Xbox Series S >Buy gamepass >Hundreds of awesome games on great hardware at the tip of my fingers >Mfw I install an emulator and only use the f------ thing to play Donkey Kong Country 11 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)00:24:01 No.877798725 >Be me >Buy an Xbox Series S >Buy gamepass >Hundreds of awesome games on great hardware at the tip of my fingers >Mfw I install an emulator and only use the f------ thing to play Donkey Kong Country 11 KB PNG

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Anons baby is lazy | /r/Greentext

[ - ]curls.jpg (636 KB, 1983x2644) igdb google a8 O Anonymous 07/17/13(Wed)17:23 No.21376688 [Reply] [v] my kid doesn't want to lift, what gives?
[ - ]curls.jpg (636 KB, 1983x2644) igdb google a8 O Anonymous 07/17/13(Wed)17:23 No.21376688 [Reply] [v] my kid doesn't want to lift, what gives?

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Anon gets called poor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)09:10:56 No.837992032 >Finally get a brand new phone after years >Galaxy S20 Ultra >S--- costed me $1400 >disposableincome.gif >Decide to f--- around on /b/ for s---- and giggles >Haven't been there for a couple 83 KB JPG of months >Decide to start a thread on /g/ about the best new smartphones >Casually mention my new S20 Ultra >Get one reply >Some cousin-f------ junkie from Moldova with a PC older than his broke-ass country >Applefag asks why I didn't buy an iPhone >F----- calls me poor >$1400 just to be called poor by some retard whose grandparents probably starved to death from crop failure in the USSR >mfw
: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)09:10:56 No.837992032 >Finally get a brand new phone after years >Galaxy S20 Ultra >S--- costed me $1400 >disposableincome.gif >Decide to f--- around on /b/ for s---- and giggles >Haven't been there for a couple 83 KB JPG of months >Decide to start a thread on /g/ about the best new smartphones >Casually mention my new S20 Ultra >Get one reply >Some cousin-f------ junkie from Moldova with a PC older than his broke-ass country >Applefag asks why I didn't buy an iPhone >F----- calls me poor >$1400 just to be called poor by some retard whose grandparents probably starved to death from crop failure in the USSR >mfw

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Anon's dad helps him get life back on trac | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 802726564 22 min. ago ••• >be me >summer of 2004 >fatass kissless virgin >do nothing but play vidya all day >have stereotypical boomer dad, wife beater, Black Sabbath, socks and sandals >one day i'm on my vidya grind when boomer dad burst into room 8.0 kB JPG >wants to take me out on a "father and son fishing trip" >I say no >he pressures me for about an hour until I decide to finally go >we drive about 3 hours out from my city to a nice secluded lake >go fishing >really enjoyed it >did it again the next day >this continued for most of the summer >actually starting to go outside >made friends >got /fit/ >thanks dad
Anonymous | 802726564 22 min. ago ••• >be me >summer of 2004 >fatass kissless virgin >do nothing but play vidya all day >have stereotypical boomer dad, wife beater, Black Sabbath, socks and sandals >one day i'm on my vidya grind when boomer dad burst into room 8.0 kB JPG >wants to take me out on a "father and son fishing trip" >I say no >he pressures me for about an hour until I decide to finally go >we drive about 3 hours out from my city to a nice secluded lake >go fishing >really enjoyed it >did it again the next day >this continued for most of the summer >actually starting to go outside >made friends >got /fit/ >thanks dad

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blockbuster | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)00:32:13 No.167755980 What was your perfect blockbuster experience. BLOCKBUSTER >weekend with dad >finally away from my mom and tyrone >dad takes me to blockbuster >he says I can pick a game >pick out fable >dad picks out Troy and says we can watch it together >pick up meat lover pizza and cheesy bread from pizza 456 KB JPG hut > go home and watch pure kino I miss this store. Also f--- you mom and you're cheating ass. There's a reason I stopped talking to you and only talk to dad now. Happy mother's day
: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)00:32:13 No.167755980 What was your perfect blockbuster experience. BLOCKBUSTER >weekend with dad >finally away from my mom and tyrone >dad takes me to blockbuster >he says I can pick a game >pick out fable >dad picks out Troy and says we can watch it together >pick up meat lover pizza and cheesy bread from pizza 456 KB JPG hut > go home and watch pure kino I miss this store. Also f--- you mom and you're cheating ass. There's a reason I stopped talking to you and only talk to dad now. Happy mother's day

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Anon likes moles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/18(Tue)14:22:11 No.20341809 >be me >sit in class >remember one time in kindergarten when a girl took a s--- on a bench and got in problems for doing so >find that memory really f------ 13 KB JPG funny >burst out laughing >teacher gets p----- >asks what so funny >silence. Jpg >say that I thought about a mole >teacher looks at me like l'm retarded >mfw when I actually begin thinking about moles now >remember moles are blind and probably bump into each other all the time >begin laughing again >get detention
: Anonymous 12/11/18(Tue)14:22:11 No.20341809 >be me >sit in class >remember one time in kindergarten when a girl took a s--- on a bench and got in problems for doing so >find that memory really f------ 13 KB JPG funny >burst out laughing >teacher gets p----- >asks what so funny >silence. Jpg >say that I thought about a mole >teacher looks at me like l'm retarded >mfw when I actually begin thinking about moles now >remember moles are blind and probably bump into each other all the time >begin laughing again >get detention

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Regrets, I’ve had a few | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/21(Thu)08:04:55 No.65046222 Please be patient I have autism >two years ago >sitting in my room playing vidya >get phone call from a lady friend >pick up, she's in hysterics >after calming down a little bit she tells me her boyfriend sold her nudes to some 42 KB JPG of his friends and she doesn't know what to do >calm her down and tell her to just break up with him >talk for 5 minutes and just have a heart to heart >she says she loves me >inner autism activates >"ok" >hang up >go back to gaming Probably the most retarded moment in my life
: Anonymous 08/19/21(Thu)08:04:55 No.65046222 Please be patient I have autism >two years ago >sitting in my room playing vidya >get phone call from a lady friend >pick up, she's in hysterics >after calming down a little bit she tells me her boyfriend sold her nudes to some 42 KB JPG of his friends and she doesn't know what to do >calm her down and tell her to just break up with him >talk for 5 minutes and just have a heart to heart >she says she loves me >inner autism activates >"ok" >hang up >go back to gaming Probably the most retarded moment in my life

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Anon thinks about 8th grade | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)22:35:34 No.877796330 >be me in 8th grade >I'm in art class & it's around the end of the school year >the teacher tells all of us to take our paintings and drawings home >(she was pretty nice to us & never really gave us any homework) >instead of taking their work home, everyone just 38 KB JPG throws it in the trash by the door >the teacher tells them not to throw it away because they worked so hard on all of it >me and the other students threw it in the trash anyway since we didn't feel like carrying all of it home >this was also pretty much on the last day of school, and it was the last time a lot of us saw her After all these years I still remember throwing my work away right in front of her, and I still haven't gotten over the guilt. To my 8th grade art teacher, I'm sorry for making you feel bad that day.
: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)22:35:34 No.877796330 >be me in 8th grade >I'm in art class & it's around the end of the school year >the teacher tells all of us to take our paintings and drawings home >(she was pretty nice to us & never really gave us any homework) >instead of taking their work home, everyone just 38 KB JPG throws it in the trash by the door >the teacher tells them not to throw it away because they worked so hard on all of it >me and the other students threw it in the trash anyway since we didn't feel like carrying all of it home >this was also pretty much on the last day of school, and it was the last time a lot of us saw her After all these years I still remember throwing my work away right in front of her, and I still haven't gotten over the guilt. To my 8th grade art teacher, I'm sorry for making you feel bad that day.

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What's his secret? | /r/Greentext


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Anon hates Apple. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Boy do I have story for you de(...) 01/12/19(Sat)02:15:35 No.69325789 Apple is the worst f------ company ever, maybe back when Steve Jobs was alive it was a little better and slightly respectable, but h--------, he must be rolling in his grave right 89 KB PNG now. >Be me >Few weeks ago >Go to Apple store to get battery replaced >Spend an hour and thirty minutes walking around, come back >They tell me the phone is missing some parts, so the battery is unreplaceable >Next day >Go to s----- PcFix, feces everywhere, legit the most dingiest f------ place alive >ask to get battery replaced > He goes in the back for fifteen to thirty minutes >Comes back, battery health is replaced and 100% capacity. >Ask if any parts were missing, they weren't. >Pay the 60$ and walk out Planned obsolescence is real boyos
: Anonymous Boy do I have story for you de(...) 01/12/19(Sat)02:15:35 No.69325789 Apple is the worst f------ company ever, maybe back when Steve Jobs was alive it was a little better and slightly respectable, but h--------, he must be rolling in his grave right 89 KB PNG now. >Be me >Few weeks ago >Go to Apple store to get battery replaced >Spend an hour and thirty minutes walking around, come back >They tell me the phone is missing some parts, so the battery is unreplaceable >Next day >Go to s----- PcFix, feces everywhere, legit the most dingiest f------ place alive >ask to get battery replaced > He goes in the back for fifteen to thirty minutes >Comes back, battery health is replaced and 100% capacity. >Ask if any parts were missing, they weren't. >Pay the 60$ and walk out Planned obsolescence is real boyos

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Calling long distance | /r/Greentext


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Head shrinker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)22:37:30 No.68551297 >made the therapist cry again 65 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)22:37:30 No.68551297 >made the therapist cry again 65 KB JPG

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Anon’s thoughts on republicans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)18:43:41 No.877788039 >Wants to ban abortion >Now wants to ban birth control Why are republicans so f------ retarded They want more poor blacks having kids They want more homeless families on the street 432 KB PNG They want kids growing up in single parent households Why can't we just kill these retards?
: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)18:43:41 No.877788039 >Wants to ban abortion >Now wants to ban birth control Why are republicans so f------ retarded They want more poor blacks having kids They want more homeless families on the street 432 KB PNG They want kids growing up in single parent households Why can't we just kill these retards?

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Anon is a proud American. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)21:39:47 No.877606759 CRYING TEARS OF JOY IMG_4735.jpg 24 KB JPG >be me, average american >sitting on my couch watching tv >billionaire kicks in my door >l am frozen with patriotic awe >slaps my bud light out of my hand >f---- my wife on the couch next to me >wipes his d--- on the curtains >l manage to squeak out "thank you for your service" >he towers over me like a titan of industry >pisses on my face while screaming "TRICKLE DOWN" >I clap and tip him 20% >he twists my n------ while asking if l'm “a union man" >tell him proudly that I'm a rugged individualist like him >he seems pleased >breaks a window to create more jobs and flies away truly we are a blessed nation
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)21:39:47 No.877606759 CRYING TEARS OF JOY IMG_4735.jpg 24 KB JPG >be me, average american >sitting on my couch watching tv >billionaire kicks in my door >l am frozen with patriotic awe >slaps my bud light out of my hand >f---- my wife on the couch next to me >wipes his d--- on the curtains >l manage to squeak out "thank you for your service" >he towers over me like a titan of industry >pisses on my face while screaming "TRICKLE DOWN" >I clap and tip him 20% >he twists my n------ while asking if l'm “a union man" >tell him proudly that I'm a rugged individualist like him >he seems pleased >breaks a window to create more jobs and flies away truly we are a blessed nation

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Anon, The Breaker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/21(Tue)12:57:47 No.80646293 1618542645521.jpg 39 KB JPG >>80645680 # >every morning I break out of my house >every night I break in >l do not sleep >l only repair the damage and perfect my defenses >l hunger for the day that I am either entombed forever or effectively exiled from my own house
: Anonymous 08/03/21(Tue)12:57:47 No.80646293 1618542645521.jpg 39 KB JPG >>80645680 # >every morning I break out of my house >every night I break in >l do not sleep >l only repair the damage and perfect my defenses >l hunger for the day that I am either entombed forever or effectively exiled from my own house

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Pretty sure anon is gay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)13:02:15 No.877762040 308 KB PNG if that was your son, what would you do? Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)13:03:20 No.877762096 >>877762040 (OP) f--- him, when wife is out of the house. Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)13:03:50 No.877762115 >>877762040 (OP) Suck his d--- and tell him he is a pretty girl.
Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)13:02:15 No.877762040 308 KB PNG if that was your son, what would you do? Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)13:03:20 No.877762096 >>877762040 (OP) f--- him, when wife is out of the house. Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)13:03:50 No.877762115 >>877762040 (OP) Suck his d--- and tell him he is a pretty girl.

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Anon has a fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/20/18(Tue)20:58:08 No.785372907 >785372291 (OP) # I'm officially banned from my family's thanksgiving getogether because last year I spiked my 12'yo neice's food with laxatives so she'd s--- herself in front of everyone 6 KB JPG to satisfy my scat i----- fetish. I guess I'm lucky they didn't call the cops. >>785373007 # >>785373051 # >>785373102 # >>785373193 # >>785373242 # >>785373476 # >>785373610 # >>785373717 # >>785373930 # >>785374070 # >>785374102 # >>785374215 # >>785374263 # >>785374385 # >>785374490 # >>785375095 #
: Anonymous 11/20/18(Tue)20:58:08 No.785372907 >785372291 (OP) # I'm officially banned from my family's thanksgiving getogether because last year I spiked my 12'yo neice's food with laxatives so she'd s--- herself in front of everyone 6 KB JPG to satisfy my scat i----- fetish. I guess I'm lucky they didn't call the cops. >>785373007 # >>785373051 # >>785373102 # >>785373193 # >>785373242 # >>785373476 # >>785373610 # >>785373717 # >>785373930 # >>785374070 # >>785374102 # >>785374215 # >>785374263 # >>785374385 # >>785374490 # >>785375095 #

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