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Anon is a marriage counselor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)18:08:37 No.68386250 If you were guaranteed that you'd have a lifelong, happy marriage if you married pic related, would you do it? Note: She will not get skinnier throughout her life, and she'll gain a bit more weight if she gets pregnant, but never anything that 820 KB PNG would put her health at risk. 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)18:33:04 No.68386560 >>68386250 (OP)# >She will not get skinnier throughout her life That means she is sick and not capable of producing a healthy offspring, which is a key factor in a lifelong, happy marriage. Get f-----.
: Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)18:08:37 No.68386250 If you were guaranteed that you'd have a lifelong, happy marriage if you married pic related, would you do it? Note: She will not get skinnier throughout her life, and she'll gain a bit more weight if she gets pregnant, but never anything that 820 KB PNG would put her health at risk. 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)18:33:04 No.68386560 >>68386250 (OP)# >She will not get skinnier throughout her life That means she is sick and not capable of producing a healthy offspring, which is a key factor in a lifelong, happy marriage. Get f-----.

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Anon is hurt deeply by his soulmate. | /r/Greentext


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Anon can't stand it. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)22:56:42 No.68389181 >start video >woman narrator STOP >immediately stop video who else cant stand when women pretend to understand things? 44 KB JPG
Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)22:56:42 No.68389181 >start video >woman narrator STOP >immediately stop video who else cant stand when women pretend to understand things? 44 KB JPG

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Anon is Bavarian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: aH4VIxDY ) 04/26/22(Tue)16:16:13 No.374826735 Pretzel road, take me home To the place I belong Based Bavaria, weißwurst mama Take me home, pretzel road 106 KB JPG
Anonymous (ID: aH4VIxDY ) 04/26/22(Tue)16:16:13 No.374826735 Pretzel road, take me home To the place I belong Based Bavaria, weißwurst mama Take me home, pretzel road 106 KB JPG

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Anon gets a promotion | /r/Greentext

File: 1391724376420.png-(139 KB, 600x301, thumb_8027-1373996494.png) Anonymous 02/06/14(Thu)14:06:16 UTC-8 No.531132589 TT: Work stories >work at furniture warehouse >I load furniture into cars for costumers that come in for pick up >guy comes in for couch >after couch is loaded I see his order form >says his name is Dubs Checkum >last two digits of order are 38 >"Nice roll f-----" >say it as boss walks by >boss walks over to customer and asks if everything is okay >customer is laughing so hard nearly s---- his pants >proceeds to give me the best review of my life >boss is so impressed i get a promotion >mfw I got a promotion for calling a customer a f----- >mfw I now make more money because of 4chan
File: 1391724376420.png-(139 KB, 600x301, thumb_8027-1373996494.png) Anonymous 02/06/14(Thu)14:06:16 UTC-8 No.531132589 TT: Work stories >work at furniture warehouse >I load furniture into cars for costumers that come in for pick up >guy comes in for couch >after couch is loaded I see his order form >says his name is Dubs Checkum >last two digits of order are 38 >"Nice roll f-----" >say it as boss walks by >boss walks over to customer and asks if everything is okay >customer is laughing so hard nearly s---- his pants >proceeds to give me the best review of my life >boss is so impressed i get a promotion >mfw I got a promotion for calling a customer a f----- >mfw I now make more money because of 4chan

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Anon is Reddit mod | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/04/21(Thu)04:59:12 No.848781924 >Create Reddit account >Notice my arms start to get chubbier >Panic as my stomach begins to bulge out >Waddle towards the door >Fingers are too fat to grab the handle >Sit down to catch my breath 686 KB PNG >Body is getting fatter >Hair begins to grown on my neck >Clothes start to rip apart and fall to the floor >Skull starts to reshape, creating a fedora like form atop my head >"Mom help me!" >Mom enters the room >"Anon, what's going on!?" >"I'm... I'm a big chungus!" >Mom bursts into tears >l'm now a redditor 5 Replies/1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 03/04/21(Thu)04:59:12 No.848781924 >Create Reddit account >Notice my arms start to get chubbier >Panic as my stomach begins to bulge out >Waddle towards the door >Fingers are too fat to grab the handle >Sit down to catch my breath 686 KB PNG >Body is getting fatter >Hair begins to grown on my neck >Clothes start to rip apart and fall to the floor >Skull starts to reshape, creating a fedora like form atop my head >"Mom help me!" >Mom enters the room >"Anon, what's going on!?" >"I'm... I'm a big chungus!" >Mom bursts into tears >l'm now a redditor 5 Replies/1 Image View Thread

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Anon has a request | /r/Greentext

1551751881455.png 145 KB PNG Looking for a loli green text about a guy going on a road trip and gets his 12 year old sister to sit on his lap and he c--- his pants, anyone got it? : Anonymous 03/26/19(Tue)02:01:19 No.795905762 >>795905672(OP) # >be me >road trip with 12 year old sister >cummed in my pants >>795905885 # >>795907574 # : Anonymous 03/26/19(Tue)02:02:48 No.795905885 >>795905762 # that was it. thanks >>79590610 #
1551751881455.png 145 KB PNG Looking for a loli green text about a guy going on a road trip and gets his 12 year old sister to sit on his lap and he c--- his pants, anyone got it? : Anonymous 03/26/19(Tue)02:01:19 No.795905762 >>795905672(OP) # >be me >road trip with 12 year old sister >cummed in my pants >>795905885 # >>795907574 # : Anonymous 03/26/19(Tue)02:02:48 No.795905885 >>795905762 # that was it. thanks >>79590610 #

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anon takes a piss | /r/Greentext

>take a piss >drops of piss visibly splash back out of the toilet and across the entire room >always feel drops hit my skin and clothes, sometimes even up 29 KB JPG to my face Do I have an unusually powerful piss stream or is it a dark open secret that everyone's showering in their own piss all day everyday?
>take a piss >drops of piss visibly splash back out of the toilet and across the entire room >always feel drops hit my skin and clothes, sometimes even up 29 KB JPG to my face Do I have an unusually powerful piss stream or is it a dark open secret that everyone's showering in their own piss all day everyday?

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Anon, are you here? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/19(Sat)01:04:52 No.806179622 >Ве you >Reddit F-- >Looking for some juicy morsels for r/greentext to raise your karma by 10 like the sniveling dog that you are, waiting for your 4chan overlords to allow you to glimpse at our scraps. 424 КВ PNG >Post this one f-----. I'll be watching. 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 08/03/19(Sat)01:04:52 No.806179622 >Ве you >Reddit F-- >Looking for some juicy morsels for r/greentext to raise your karma by 10 like the sniveling dog that you are, waiting for your 4chan overlords to allow you to glimpse at our scraps. 424 КВ PNG >Post this one f-----. I'll be watching. 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is a grower | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Ba 03/03/15(Tue)17:15:35 No.383353 >taking a piss at university >American student walks in >"Cold day, isn't it?" Why do Americans talk to strangers? Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue)17:16:24 No.3835 he was calling your d--- small Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue)17:17:29 No.383 File: 1387850227320.jpg (70 KB, 330x319) >>38335310 (OP) >Taking a piss >"Cold day isn't it" OP...
Anonymous Ba 03/03/15(Tue)17:15:35 No.383353 >taking a piss at university >American student walks in >"Cold day, isn't it?" Why do Americans talk to strangers? Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue)17:16:24 No.3835 he was calling your d--- small Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue)17:17:29 No.383 File: 1387850227320.jpg (70 KB, 330x319) >>38335310 (OP) >Taking a piss >"Cold day isn't it" OP...

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anon is a right wing activist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/15/21(Wed)15:33:26 No.863150270 LOUDEN external-content.duckduckgo.com.png 1.8 MB PNG >Ben Shapiro: Failed Scriptwriter turned Right Wing activist >Steven Crowder: Failed comedian turned Right Wing activist >Michael Knowles: Failed actor turned Right Wing activist Anyone noticing a pattern?
: Anonymous 09/15/21(Wed)15:33:26 No.863150270 LOUDEN external-content.duckduckgo.com.png 1.8 MB PNG >Ben Shapiro: Failed Scriptwriter turned Right Wing activist >Steven Crowder: Failed comedian turned Right Wing activist >Michael Knowles: Failed actor turned Right Wing activist Anyone noticing a pattern?

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Anon gets mistreated at Subway | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/27/13(Sun)20:15:03 UTC-4 No.513020284 Replies: >>513022161 >>51302 ITT: Fastfood stories l'll start: >be me living at uni >go to Subway to pick up some lunch before class >down time, only 2 other people in there >employee hears the bell and comes out from the back >9/10 skinny blond >holding her phone up to her ear but not talking >I wait a bit and she gives me look >figure she's on hold and I'd better order >"Ya, 'Il have a 6-inch BLT on Italian and-" >c--- cuts me off >"Can't you see l'm on the f------ phone?!" >mfw >wait for 2 minutes, 3 more people get in line behind me >finally she finishes listening to her phone >"Alright, the hell do you want?" >dat filename >her mistake was bitching at me, a former Subway employee >time to f--- up her day >order a footlong double-meat meatball sub on honey wheat bread >that bread tears easier than any other and meatball subs are impossible to close correctly with a regular amount of meatballs >make her microwave that s--- for 2 minutes >she tries to use napkins to take it out so she's not burned >fails miserably >order all the vegies >she tries to place a tiny bit of each kind on it >make her double everything >guy behind me laughing his ass off >bread is stretched completely open and tearing >time to destroy this sandwich for sure >ask for oil, say tell her l'll say when she's used enough >wait for her to stop on her own >make her double that >oil bottle is basically empty >added an assortment of other sauces >just picked the ones that would dye her uniform the best colors >sandwich is 40% sauces >she calls me an a------ and attempts to close the damn thing >sandwich immediatly spews all of it's contents all over her uniform, $200 jeans, and $500 shoes >she starts crying >lean over the counter >"Ive changed my mind, l'd like a 6-inch BLT on Italian."
Anonymous 10/27/13(Sun)20:15:03 UTC-4 No.513020284 Replies: >>513022161 >>51302 ITT: Fastfood stories l'll start: >be me living at uni >go to Subway to pick up some lunch before class >down time, only 2 other people in there >employee hears the bell and comes out from the back >9/10 skinny blond >holding her phone up to her ear but not talking >I wait a bit and she gives me look >figure she's on hold and I'd better order >"Ya, 'Il have a 6-inch BLT on Italian and-" >c--- cuts me off >"Can't you see l'm on the f------ phone?!" >mfw >wait for 2 minutes, 3 more people get in line behind me >finally she finishes listening to her phone >"Alright, the hell do you want?" >dat filename >her mistake was bitching at me, a former Subway employee >time to f--- up her day >order a footlong double-meat meatball sub on honey wheat bread >that bread tears easier than any other and meatball subs are impossible to close correctly with a regular amount of meatballs >make her microwave that s--- for 2 minutes >she tries to use napkins to take it out so she's not burned >fails miserably >order all the vegies >she tries to place a tiny bit of each kind on it >make her double everything >guy behind me laughing his ass off >bread is stretched completely open and tearing >time to destroy this sandwich for sure >ask for oil, say tell her l'll say when she's used enough >wait for her to stop on her own >make her double that >oil bottle is basically empty >added an assortment of other sauces >just picked the ones that would dye her uniform the best colors >sandwich is 40% sauces >she calls me an a------ and attempts to close the damn thing >sandwich immediatly spews all of it's contents all over her uniform, $200 jeans, and $500 shoes >she starts crying >lean over the counter >"Ive changed my mind, l'd like a 6-inch BLT on Italian."

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T- Terry? It’s been a long time friend. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)10:21:47 No.68338702 133 KB PNG >I'm bringing the team back together for one last job, you in?
Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)10:21:47 No.68338702 133 KB PNG >I'm bringing the team back together for one last job, you in?

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Anon is a prank caller | /r/Greentext

>Call my local bowling alley >"Do you have 30 lb balls? I can't really lift/throw anything heavier." >"Yes we do have 30 lb balls." >"THEN HOW DO YOU WALK!?!" >Hang up the phone НАНАНАНАНАНАНАНА
>Call my local bowling alley >"Do you have 30 lb balls? I can't really lift/throw anything heavier." >"Yes we do have 30 lb balls." >"THEN HOW DO YOU WALK!?!" >Hang up the phone НАНАНАНАНАНАНАНА

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Anon guessed it right | /r/Greentext

Cyb(OR)g !FQ5AS2D/.o 04/01/15(Wed)19:08:40 No.17578453 >meet girl on website >she tells me how she isnt a girl >uh are you a trans or something? >no, im not a boy either >what are you then? 37 KB JPG >im not telling, you have to guess >mentally ill? >she instantly blocks me Felt good man. >>17578488 # >>17578540 # >>17578603 # >>17578622 # >>17578670 #
Cyb(OR)g !FQ5AS2D/.o 04/01/15(Wed)19:08:40 No.17578453 >meet girl on website >she tells me how she isnt a girl >uh are you a trans or something? >no, im not a boy either >what are you then? 37 KB JPG >im not telling, you have to guess >mentally ill? >she instantly blocks me Felt good man. >>17578488 # >>17578540 # >>17578603 # >>17578622 # >>17578670 #

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Nobody said it was easy... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri)18:30:30 No.62409173 >be me >think i'm an incel >realize i've never actually tried to seduce a girl >which makes me single by choice, not involuntary celibate >get Tinder, start watching pua s--- 22 KB PNG >take care of myself, start having hobbies >ask some girls out >get rejected >now I'm officially an incel how do you do, fellow social retards
: Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri)18:30:30 No.62409173 >be me >think i'm an incel >realize i've never actually tried to seduce a girl >which makes me single by choice, not involuntary celibate >get Tinder, start watching pua s--- 22 KB PNG >take care of myself, start having hobbies >ask some girls out >get rejected >now I'm officially an incel how do you do, fellow social retards

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Same my guy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)15:33:05 No.68380360 >tfw too depressed to even watch p--- 55 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)15:33:05 No.68380360 >tfw too depressed to even watch p--- 55 KB PNG

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Anon visits /b/ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)10:00:46 No.65400999 >be me >newfag from r/greentexts >endlessly scrolling through /b/ >open a random archived thread >see a woman's body cut in half, guts and s--- all spilling out >w--.jpg where are all the funny greentexts, why do 234 KB PNG i only see loli p--- and gore View Thread
: Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)10:00:46 No.65400999 >be me >newfag from r/greentexts >endlessly scrolling through /b/ >open a random archived thread >see a woman's body cut in half, guts and s--- all spilling out >w--.jpg where are all the funny greentexts, why do 234 KB PNG i only see loli p--- and gore View Thread

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Anon has one chance | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes out clubbing | /r/Greentext


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