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Anon quits multiplayer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/24/22(Sun)04:48:59 No.596748630 >dude is better than me in the game >try to kill him >he destroys me >get really upset >try again >get destroyed >go for a third time >he starts toying with me 62 KB JPG >goes for the knife >still ends up killing me >types "pest" in the chat I think l'li go back to singleplayer, bros. Anonymous 04/24/22(Sun)04:49:59 No.596748680 oh s--- youre on /v/ too? it was fun destroying u retard u should uninstall
Anonymous 04/24/22(Sun)04:48:59 No.596748630 >dude is better than me in the game >try to kill him >he destroys me >get really upset >try again >get destroyed >go for a third time >he starts toying with me 62 KB JPG >goes for the knife >still ends up killing me >types "pest" in the chat I think l'li go back to singleplayer, bros. Anonymous 04/24/22(Sun)04:49:59 No.596748680 oh s--- youre on /v/ too? it was fun destroying u retard u should uninstall

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Anon sends a video | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/16(Tue)12:38:16 No.699741454 >>699735884 (OP) # >get iPhone 5s >play with slow motion video >wanted to see my d--- hit something in slow motion. >hit erect d--- on dresser >watched replay >f------ sweet >thought gf would like to see. >video doesn't send in slow motion >normal paced video of me beating the f--- out of my dresser with my c---. >gf thinks I'm a psycho. >breaks up with me. >If it wasn't so funny, I would have cared. >>699741592 # >>699741696 # >>699741789 # >>699741902 # >>699741980 #
: Anonymous 08/16/16(Tue)12:38:16 No.699741454 >>699735884 (OP) # >get iPhone 5s >play with slow motion video >wanted to see my d--- hit something in slow motion. >hit erect d--- on dresser >watched replay >f------ sweet >thought gf would like to see. >video doesn't send in slow motion >normal paced video of me beating the f--- out of my dresser with my c---. >gf thinks I'm a psycho. >breaks up with me. >If it wasn't so funny, I would have cared. >>699741592 # >>699741696 # >>699741789 # >>699741902 # >>699741980 #

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Anon is going to jail | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/10/13(Sun)21:40:01 No.515425318 > been chatting with cute 14 year old girl > really flirty and sexy 61 KB JPG > now she tells me she's an undercover cop > how f------ cool is that for someone her age
Anonymous 11/10/13(Sun)21:40:01 No.515425318 > been chatting with cute 14 year old girl > really flirty and sexy 61 KB JPG > now she tells me she's an undercover cop > how f------ cool is that for someone her age

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Anon chats with his coworkers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)06:13:44 No.66100333 >be office lunch >coworkers are (for some reason) talking about how many sexual partners they've had >despite being the quiet incel type, I've actually had 8 girls in my entire life 21 KB JPG >so mention that I've slept with 8 people while getting something from the fridge >one coworker: "escorts don't count, silly." everyone snickers >me (taking slight offense): "your cousins don't count either, cheryl" >for some reason, I'm the one who gets in trouble
: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)06:13:44 No.66100333 >be office lunch >coworkers are (for some reason) talking about how many sexual partners they've had >despite being the quiet incel type, I've actually had 8 girls in my entire life 21 KB JPG >so mention that I've slept with 8 people while getting something from the fridge >one coworker: "escorts don't count, silly." everyone snickers >me (taking slight offense): "your cousins don't count either, cheryl" >for some reason, I'm the one who gets in trouble

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anon is addicted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/19/21(Tue)04:27:56 No.65818129 >There's people in this world that can get off to like bikini pics and don't have to watch Japanese business women kick a guy in the nuts to get off 16 KB JPG
: Anonymous 10/19/21(Tue)04:27:56 No.65818129 >There's people in this world that can get off to like bikini pics and don't have to watch Japanese business women kick a guy in the nuts to get off 16 KB JPG

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Anon had a phase | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 44050343 2 hr. ago >tfw i went through a cowboy phase >become obsessed with movies like The Searchers, Unforgiven and True Grit >actually wore a cowboy hat and a long leather trench coat to high school >would chew a tooth pick and tip my hat at girls >see people from school years later in the street. 17.9 kB PNG >they say "Howdy partner!" before bursting into laughter What was I thinking? 16 REPLIES 7 IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 44050343 2 hr. ago >tfw i went through a cowboy phase >become obsessed with movies like The Searchers, Unforgiven and True Grit >actually wore a cowboy hat and a long leather trench coat to high school >would chew a tooth pick and tip my hat at girls >see people from school years later in the street. 17.9 kB PNG >they say "Howdy partner!" before bursting into laughter What was I thinking? 16 REPLIES 7 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon can't cook | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous kitchen fuckups 02/16/20(Sun)19:30:39 No.1366586' >making pasta >cook the sauce >mix pasta into sauce >go to eat it >i forget to put any salt in its so f------ bland. is this salvageable? also post kitchen fuckups 153 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/16/20(Sun)19:31:39 No.13665873 Yes, put salt on it. >13665891 # >13665916 # >13666575 # >>13670427 # : Anonymous 02/16/20(Sun)19:34:30 No.13665891 >>13665873 # would that work >>13665893 # >>13666575 # >13670427 # : Anonymous 02/16/20(Sun)19:35:32 No.13665893 >>13665891 # Yes.
: Anonymous kitchen fuckups 02/16/20(Sun)19:30:39 No.1366586' >making pasta >cook the sauce >mix pasta into sauce >go to eat it >i forget to put any salt in its so f------ bland. is this salvageable? also post kitchen fuckups 153 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/16/20(Sun)19:31:39 No.13665873 Yes, put salt on it. >13665891 # >13665916 # >13666575 # >>13670427 # : Anonymous 02/16/20(Sun)19:34:30 No.13665891 >>13665873 # would that work >>13665893 # >>13666575 # >13670427 # : Anonymous 02/16/20(Sun)19:35:32 No.13665893 >>13665891 # Yes.

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Anon checks a homie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/22(Sun)02:02:38 No.876823154 >Walk into gym >Jiggles fat guys rolls >Refuses to elaborate >Leaves 33 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/24/22(Sun)02:02:38 No.876823154 >Walk into gym >Jiggles fat guys rolls >Refuses to elaborate >Leaves 33 KB JPG

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Anon forgot. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)22:51:13 No.68347881 >go in public >see guys that are uglier than me with girlfriends >see guys that are more out of shape than me with girlfriends >see guys that worse dressed than me with girlfriends >even see guys that are shorter 75 KB JPG than me with girlfriends Is "self improvement" pointless? I just feel like I'm cursed to be alone forever, even though I have a lot going for me I sill can't seem to attract a woman, even though inferior men seem to have no problem doing so Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)23:02:16 No.68347884 >>68347881 (OP). You forgot the part of self improvement where you work on your personality.
Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)22:51:13 No.68347881 >go in public >see guys that are uglier than me with girlfriends >see guys that are more out of shape than me with girlfriends >see guys that worse dressed than me with girlfriends >even see guys that are shorter 75 KB JPG than me with girlfriends Is "self improvement" pointless? I just feel like I'm cursed to be alone forever, even though I have a lot going for me I sill can't seem to attract a woman, even though inferior men seem to have no problem doing so Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)23:02:16 No.68347884 >>68347881 (OP). You forgot the part of self improvement where you work on your personality.

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Autisti/k/ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)07:07:05 No.53192886 PACO-5 maxresdefault[1].jpg 58 KB JPG What is the most autistic /k/ thing you do? >set microwave for 30s >yell "THIRTY SECONDS!" like it's a landing craft about to shore on D-Day
: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)07:07:05 No.53192886 PACO-5 maxresdefault[1].jpg 58 KB JPG What is the most autistic /k/ thing you do? >set microwave for 30s >yell "THIRTY SECONDS!" like it's a landing craft about to shore on D-Day

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anon changes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/22(Sun)01:37:35 No.876825079 Didn't think change could happen >be me 25 >have younger brother 20 >he's a s------- >deals drugs >has multiple gfs whom he cheats on and 374 KB PNG gets into fights with >he's been arrested multiple times >had a restraining order placed on him from someone's house he went to and threatened with a knife >smokes in the house when told not to >plays loud n----- music >worst kind of person >want nothing but the worst for him >one day get knock at door >"Sherifs department!! Come out!" >mfw its a f------ raid on our house for my s------- brother and his degenerate friend >brother taken away in handcufs as the house is ransacked >they find pounds of weed and a f------ illegal firearm in his room >this is the last straw >he'll never change >5 days go by >released from jail on probation awaiting next court date >comes to me and says >"bro, im sorry what i put tou through, I'm going to change." >l'IlBelieveltWhenISeelt.mp4 >3 months later >brother has given up weed >doesn't smoke doesn't sell >cut off all his old degenerate criminal friends >bought an ice cream freezer >goes out to local events and makes and sells ice cream by hand >tried some actually good >mfw my little bro changed his ways for the better I'm proud of him.
: Anonymous 04/24/22(Sun)01:37:35 No.876825079 Didn't think change could happen >be me 25 >have younger brother 20 >he's a s------- >deals drugs >has multiple gfs whom he cheats on and 374 KB PNG gets into fights with >he's been arrested multiple times >had a restraining order placed on him from someone's house he went to and threatened with a knife >smokes in the house when told not to >plays loud n----- music >worst kind of person >want nothing but the worst for him >one day get knock at door >"Sherifs department!! Come out!" >mfw its a f------ raid on our house for my s------- brother and his degenerate friend >brother taken away in handcufs as the house is ransacked >they find pounds of weed and a f------ illegal firearm in his room >this is the last straw >he'll never change >5 days go by >released from jail on probation awaiting next court date >comes to me and says >"bro, im sorry what i put tou through, I'm going to change." >l'IlBelieveltWhenISeelt.mp4 >3 months later >brother has given up weed >doesn't smoke doesn't sell >cut off all his old degenerate criminal friends >bought an ice cream freezer >goes out to local events and makes and sells ice cream by hand >tried some actually good >mfw my little bro changed his ways for the better I'm proud of him.

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New gym experience | /r/Greentext

>>61173933 (OP) # F--- I can actually relate to this >first month in gym >getting used to talking with people, gym lingo, not being intimidated by people using the weights etc 30 KB JPG >need to take a mad s--- >go to the bathroom, all the stalls are occupied >brain is on full autopilot >knock and ask the guy "how many sets do you have left in there" >realize what I just said >hear the guy inside say what the f--- man >all others laughing >run out and don't come back for a few days >realize no one found out It still keeps me up at night bros
>>61173933 (OP) # F--- I can actually relate to this >first month in gym >getting used to talking with people, gym lingo, not being intimidated by people using the weights etc 30 KB JPG >need to take a mad s--- >go to the bathroom, all the stalls are occupied >brain is on full autopilot >knock and ask the guy "how many sets do you have left in there" >realize what I just said >hear the guy inside say what the f--- man >all others laughing >run out and don't come back for a few days >realize no one found out It still keeps me up at night bros

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Anon picks a side | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous (ID: FklxsT8f )[I 02/25/22(Fri)07:09:41 No.363197112 Project Syndicate economists How the EU can save Ukraine George Soros Offering free political risk insurance to those who invest in or do business with Ukraine is a way of countering the threat of Putin's Russia, writes George Soros Thu 29 May 2014 10.30 BST OB021BF6-3453-4AF4-B115-31BD6AAEB512.jpg 491 KB JPG >Redditors supporting Ukraine >Trannies supporting Ukraine >Women supporting Ukraine >Media supporting Ukraine >Jews supporting Ukraine This tells you a lot about the situation and who really are the good guys
| Anonymous (ID: FklxsT8f )[I 02/25/22(Fri)07:09:41 No.363197112 Project Syndicate economists How the EU can save Ukraine George Soros Offering free political risk insurance to those who invest in or do business with Ukraine is a way of countering the threat of Putin's Russia, writes George Soros Thu 29 May 2014 10.30 BST OB021BF6-3453-4AF4-B115-31BD6AAEB512.jpg 491 KB JPG >Redditors supporting Ukraine >Trannies supporting Ukraine >Women supporting Ukraine >Media supporting Ukraine >Jews supporting Ukraine This tells you a lot about the situation and who really are the good guys

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Anon loses his only friend | /r/Greentext

>be beta f-- with no friends >live alone in s----- apartment >walk outside one day and and 1.83 MB JPG see crow >crow has one partially white wing >feed it bread because it's all I have in apartment >crow keeps coming back for food >one day crow bring me a shiny bit of trash >accept offering from crow >few months pass he comes every day >he brings me s--- most days >one day crow doesnt show up >mfw my only friend has abandoned me >weekend passes >still hasnt come i watch for him constantly >monday morning i go to work >see dead crow on side of street near home >stop and get out >tfw it has a partially white wing >see it has been hit by car >near beak is some weird bracelet >tfw my only friend died trying to get me a gift >tfw I have nothing pic related
>be beta f-- with no friends >live alone in s----- apartment >walk outside one day and and 1.83 MB JPG see crow >crow has one partially white wing >feed it bread because it's all I have in apartment >crow keeps coming back for food >one day crow bring me a shiny bit of trash >accept offering from crow >few months pass he comes every day >he brings me s--- most days >one day crow doesnt show up >mfw my only friend has abandoned me >weekend passes >still hasnt come i watch for him constantly >monday morning i go to work >see dead crow on side of street near home >stop and get out >tfw it has a partially white wing >see it has been hit by car >near beak is some weird bracelet >tfw my only friend died trying to get me a gift >tfw I have nothing pic related

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Anon is a fucking liar | /r/Greentext

Favorite game lines 161AA42A-EDA1-4FOD-832B-B18023B797D1.jpg 50 KB JPG > "I guess you couldn't survive. Five Nights at Freddy's." : Anonymous 10/04/20(Sun)15:08:00 No.14024540 >>140245384 (OP) # He didn't say that
Favorite game lines 161AA42A-EDA1-4FOD-832B-B18023B797D1.jpg 50 KB JPG > "I guess you couldn't survive. Five Nights at Freddy's." : Anonymous 10/04/20(Sun)15:08:00 No.14024540 >>140245384 (OP) # He didn't say that

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Anon watches Black Panther | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/18(Thu)20:28:45 No.774817298 >be me >friend torrents black panther, we're about to watch it >me: "so is this actually good or just overhyped" >him: "apparently actually good, haven't watched it" 374 KB JPG >me: "i bet there's basketball, rap, and slavery references within the first 2 minutes" >him: "pfbpfptf i don't think they'd go that far man" >me: "no seriously i bet there is." >him: *awkward silence and a weird look* >we start the movie >1 minute of scifi backstory, includes a reference to slavery >followed by basketball and rap >mfw
: Anonymous 07/19/18(Thu)20:28:45 No.774817298 >be me >friend torrents black panther, we're about to watch it >me: "so is this actually good or just overhyped" >him: "apparently actually good, haven't watched it" 374 KB JPG >me: "i bet there's basketball, rap, and slavery references within the first 2 minutes" >him: "pfbpfptf i don't think they'd go that far man" >me: "no seriously i bet there is." >him: *awkward silence and a weird look* >we start the movie >1 minute of scifi backstory, includes a reference to slavery >followed by basketball and rap >mfw

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Anon tries out TikTok | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)14:30:18 No.876795366 >install tiktok >go to the live section >scroll for almost an hour >none of them look older than 25 >every single one of them look dead behind the eyes 18 KB JPG >some barely talk >some can't stop talking but don't seem to have even two brain cells to rub together >begin to question why today's young people seem so hollow >i've seen enough >uninstall tiktok What is wrong with these people?
: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)14:30:18 No.876795366 >install tiktok >go to the live section >scroll for almost an hour >none of them look older than 25 >every single one of them look dead behind the eyes 18 KB JPG >some barely talk >some can't stop talking but don't seem to have even two brain cells to rub together >begin to question why today's young people seem so hollow >i've seen enough >uninstall tiktok What is wrong with these people?

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lies, deception | /r/Greentext

>buy wireless device >look inside >wires
>buy wireless device >look inside >wires

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Anon gets no girls cuz he's 5'11 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/21/20(Sun)21:25:23 No.8909507 How tall were David and Goliath actually? 47 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/21/20(Sun)21:53:10 No.8909611 5'11 and 6'0 >>8909617 #
: Anonymous 06/21/20(Sun)21:25:23 No.8909507 How tall were David and Goliath actually? 47 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/21/20(Sun)21:53:10 No.8909611 5'11 and 6'0 >>8909617 #

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Anon has a harem. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous University Harem 04/23/22(Sat)14:29:51 No.68341642 >Be accepted at Uni >File form for student residency >See "for the purpose of placing you, please check your gender:" >Male >Female >Non-binary >Check female, even tho that's not 37 KB PNG true >Apply for the female dorm >Get accepted >Be the only guy in the women's dorm >basically got my own personal harem >it's that simple
Anonymous University Harem 04/23/22(Sat)14:29:51 No.68341642 >Be accepted at Uni >File form for student residency >See "for the purpose of placing you, please check your gender:" >Male >Female >Non-binary >Check female, even tho that's not 37 KB PNG true >Apply for the female dorm >Get accepted >Be the only guy in the women's dorm >basically got my own personal harem >it's that simple

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