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Anon wears sunglasses | /r/Greentext

Anonymous take the sunglasses pill 04/18/22(Mon)08:08:41 No.68264982 >be me >average looking dude >decide to wear sunglasses 24/7 >suddenly 11/10 gigachad >now drowning in p---- 18 KB JPG literally that easy Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)08:13:04 No.68265010 >>68264982 (OP) # based sunglasses anon 10 KB JPG
Anonymous take the sunglasses pill 04/18/22(Mon)08:08:41 No.68264982 >be me >average looking dude >decide to wear sunglasses 24/7 >suddenly 11/10 gigachad >now drowning in p---- 18 KB JPG literally that easy Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)08:13:04 No.68265010 >>68264982 (OP) # based sunglasses anon 10 KB JPG

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Anon is a coomer. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous no fap might be onto something 04/18/22(Mon)10:39:02 No.68269144 >be me >khhv coomer >masturbates almost daily for the past 20 yrs 13 KB PNG >reducethechancesofprostatecancer.webm >finally gets a girl >somehow get the girl in bed without any spaghetti falling out of my pockets >gets naked, makeout >finally time to stick it in >f--- you Hogwarts not gonna be a wizard in this life >can't get it up F--- F--- F--- JUST F------ KILL ME NOW GOD F------ DAMNIT
Anonymous no fap might be onto something 04/18/22(Mon)10:39:02 No.68269144 >be me >khhv coomer >masturbates almost daily for the past 20 yrs 13 KB PNG >reducethechancesofprostatecancer.webm >finally gets a girl >somehow get the girl in bed without any spaghetti falling out of my pockets >gets naked, makeout >finally time to stick it in >f--- you Hogwarts not gonna be a wizard in this life >can't get it up F--- F--- F--- JUST F------ KILL ME NOW GOD F------ DAMNIT

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Anon knows his twix | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)18:25:57 No.876351510 >sitting blindfolded >woman in lab coat feeds me a Twix >"Left" >she marks her notes >329 consecutive correct guesses 71 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)18:25:57 No.876351510 >sitting blindfolded >woman in lab coat feeds me a Twix >"Left" >she marks her notes >329 consecutive correct guesses 71 KB JPG

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Dragged down by the stone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)14:14:06 No.25371292 >order one of those pink chokers with the cat bell on them >parents are nosy, constantly looking through my stuff >hide it somewhere, forget about it >year later, mom finds it and asks what it is 170 KB JPG >it's clearly a collar >she puts it on the family dog >jingling heard around the house It's either kill myself or move out.
: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)14:14:06 No.25371292 >order one of those pink chokers with the cat bell on them >parents are nosy, constantly looking through my stuff >hide it somewhere, forget about it >year later, mom finds it and asks what it is 170 KB JPG >it's clearly a collar >she puts it on the family dog >jingling heard around the house It's either kill myself or move out.

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Anon receives a sign. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)13:56:47 No.68258405 >wake up >fart >it's wet and sliding down my leg >it's also Easter Sunday What did Jesus mean by this? 416 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)13:56:47 No.68258405 >wake up >fart >it's wet and sliding down my leg >it's also Easter Sunday What did Jesus mean by this? 416 KB JPG

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Anon doing god’s work | /r/Greentext

2h (11/25 12:21) 840893983 90 Re 12 Img JPG 77KB (1200 x 947) 22 Replies T. SPECIAL > find a PS5 reseller in your area (Craigslist, Wallapop, Gumtree, Adverts..) > negotiate the price > arrange a meet somewhere far from their home (paid parking if possible) > ghost them So far, 10 down, and 15 meets arranged for the next 5 days. Haven't gotten banned from any platform yet. Am la bad person? ...
2h (11/25 12:21) 840893983 90 Re 12 Img JPG 77KB (1200 x 947) 22 Replies T. SPECIAL > find a PS5 reseller in your area (Craigslist, Wallapop, Gumtree, Adverts..) > negotiate the price > arrange a meet somewhere far from their home (paid parking if possible) > ghost them So far, 10 down, and 15 meets arranged for the next 5 days. Haven't gotten banned from any platform yet. Am la bad person? ...

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Anon getting closer to retirement | /r/Greentext

File: A751F58F-4372-4B0A-B166-EB45BEDC9B04.jpg (95 KB, 550x536) O Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)12:25:33 No.876499665 [Reply] > >876500365 > be me, 19 year old balding male > ride your bicycle for the first time this spring > get out of breath, sit down at a bench in the sun > old guy sits down next to me > smalltalk.exe > "do you know my son matthias k., anon?" >i don't know him > "guess he's too young for you to know him, he's only 33" > "how old do you think i am?" > "around 40, anon"
File: A751F58F-4372-4B0A-B166-EB45BEDC9B04.jpg (95 KB, 550x536) O Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)12:25:33 No.876499665 [Reply] > >876500365 > be me, 19 year old balding male > ride your bicycle for the first time this spring > get out of breath, sit down at a bench in the sun > old guy sits down next to me > smalltalk.exe > "do you know my son matthias k., anon?" >i don't know him > "guess he's too young for you to know him, he's only 33" > "how old do you think i am?" > "around 40, anon"

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Fat anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

>2018 >Fat >Go on date with girl from uni >She says she isn't interested at the end of it and never messages me again, but is still on my facebook friends list >2021 >Shredd/lean (not zyzz but I look and feel great) >Change my profile pic to me at the beach so my new body is visible >Same girl messages me on facebook how l'm doing >First time she's messaged me since then I think I know where this is going. Would I be a completely deranged person to stand her up on a date? F------ her is out of the question, I'm dating a girl right now who I actually like.
>2018 >Fat >Go on date with girl from uni >She says she isn't interested at the end of it and never messages me again, but is still on my facebook friends list >2021 >Shredd/lean (not zyzz but I look and feel great) >Change my profile pic to me at the beach so my new body is visible >Same girl messages me on facebook how l'm doing >First time she's messaged me since then I think I know where this is going. Would I be a completely deranged person to stand her up on a date? F------ her is out of the question, I'm dating a girl right now who I actually like.

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Anon works at a sperm bank | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/17/18(Wed)21:36:44 No.48760605 [Reply] >>48761214 >work at sperm bank >sneak and j--- into every white specimen collection i can find >every white infertile roastie that wants a baby now has a 50/50 chance of popping out a bronze baby >potentially ruined countless wh*Te marriages for the last 2 years >> Anonymous 10/17/18(Wed)22:16:55 No.48761214► File: 1510528657219.jpg (9 KB, 220x229) >>48760605 (OP) this would be a next level shitpost if real
Anonymous 10/17/18(Wed)21:36:44 No.48760605 [Reply] >>48761214 >work at sperm bank >sneak and j--- into every white specimen collection i can find >every white infertile roastie that wants a baby now has a 50/50 chance of popping out a bronze baby >potentially ruined countless wh*Te marriages for the last 2 years >> Anonymous 10/17/18(Wed)22:16:55 No.48761214► File: 1510528657219.jpg (9 KB, 220x229) >>48760605 (OP) this would be a next level shitpost if real

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Anon gets his dream job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/20(Tue)15:42:49 No.60848025 >turn 23 next week >graduated college pre corona >got big plans for a career, send out applications to the top spots >family and friends wish me luck everyone is rooting for me >cut to now 18 KB JPG >my 8th month living at home >3 rejected applications >unemployment pay runs out soon >going to have to put real career on hold and pick up some other job this is not what i was promised. this is hands down the worst economic and social period ever i understand why suicides are spiking
: Anonymous 11/10/20(Tue)15:42:49 No.60848025 >turn 23 next week >graduated college pre corona >got big plans for a career, send out applications to the top spots >family and friends wish me luck everyone is rooting for me >cut to now 18 KB JPG >my 8th month living at home >3 rejected applications >unemployment pay runs out soon >going to have to put real career on hold and pick up some other job this is not what i was promised. this is hands down the worst economic and social period ever i understand why suicides are spiking

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Anon has a questionable episode idea | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/22(Mon)17:20:28 No.873563564 They should've made an episode where hank catches marie giving walt junior a b------ on the toilet 26 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/28/22(Mon)17:22:33 No.873563673 >but Hank, i'm just helping the poor kid get his rocks off >JESUS CHRIST MARIE, THEY'RE MINERALS
: Anonymous 02/28/22(Mon)17:20:28 No.873563564 They should've made an episode where hank catches marie giving walt junior a b------ on the toilet 26 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/28/22(Mon)17:22:33 No.873563673 >but Hank, i'm just helping the poor kid get his rocks off >JESUS CHRIST MARIE, THEY'RE MINERALS

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Anon is a magician | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)07:14:39 No.876500905 hey check out this magic trick i can do >stay in bed all day >eat like s--- >don't exercise >don't talk to anyone >have no real hobbies 207 KB PNG Ta daaaa >l'm depressed
Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)07:14:39 No.876500905 hey check out this magic trick i can do >stay in bed all day >eat like s--- >don't exercise >don't talk to anyone >have no real hobbies 207 KB PNG Ta daaaa >l'm depressed

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Anon gets compliments | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me 04/18/22(Mon)07:04:56 No.68264448 >spergy >ugly >women hate me >become friends with a f-- >become familiar with his circle of f-- friends >f--- compliment my looks and 264 KB PNG personality >feel desired for the first time in my life >self confidence goes up thank you f------ 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)07:06:00 No.68264458 >>68264448 (OP) # u are welcome : Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)07:06:17 No.68264464 you forgot the part where you got TOPPED by all of them
: Anonymous >be me 04/18/22(Mon)07:04:56 No.68264448 >spergy >ugly >women hate me >become friends with a f-- >become familiar with his circle of f-- friends >f--- compliment my looks and 264 KB PNG personality >feel desired for the first time in my life >self confidence goes up thank you f------ 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)07:06:00 No.68264458 >>68264448 (OP) # u are welcome : Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)07:06:17 No.68264464 you forgot the part where you got TOPPED by all of them

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Anon has a fat ass. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)19:54:19 No.876483178 >be me >be male >have fat ass >dad always says that i have the right material to be a gay COPIUM 155 KB PNG prostitute >girls in class always grab my ass >"Wow anon your ass is so big!" >"Anon your ass looks like you got 2 bowls sticked to your bottom" >boys >"if i cant f--- anything, i would f--- you anon"
: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)19:54:19 No.876483178 >be me >be male >have fat ass >dad always says that i have the right material to be a gay COPIUM 155 KB PNG prostitute >girls in class always grab my ass >"Wow anon your ass is so big!" >"Anon your ass looks like you got 2 bowls sticked to your bottom" >boys >"if i cant f--- anything, i would f--- you anon"

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Anon gonna die a virgin because of high standards and low awareness | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a decent face. 84 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP) # >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a decent face. 84 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP) # >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw

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Anon celebrates Easter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/19(Sun)00:29:50 No.104521401 >Americans don't celebrate Easter because they don't want to hear about someone that recovered for free 88 KB GIF
: Anonymous 04/21/19(Sun)00:29:50 No.104521401 >Americans don't celebrate Easter because they don't want to hear about someone that recovered for free 88 KB GIF

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Anon needs to shit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)09:51:29 No.53536268 >saving up a big s--- all morning >tell nurse I need my adult diaper changed >as soon as she opens up the diaper I blast out a load of s--- all Wiesthers 227 KB PNG over her >she screams and runs out of the room >l follow her yelling toastie roastie toastie roastie over and over while she tells her boss she's had it and she's quitting >keep laughing and shouting toastie roastie until my laughs turn into a coughing fit >have a heart attack and die
: Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)09:51:29 No.53536268 >saving up a big s--- all morning >tell nurse I need my adult diaper changed >as soon as she opens up the diaper I blast out a load of s--- all Wiesthers 227 KB PNG over her >she screams and runs out of the room >l follow her yelling toastie roastie toastie roastie over and over while she tells her boss she's had it and she's quitting >keep laughing and shouting toastie roastie until my laughs turn into a coughing fit >have a heart attack and die

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so scary!!! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)13:08:35 No.549984012 e: 1607694157686.jpg (429 KB, 1082x928) >>54998412 >DUDE CHECK IT OUT >THERE'S NOTHING HERE, ISNT THAT SCARY???
Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)13:08:35 No.549984012 e: 1607694157686.jpg (429 KB, 1082x928) >>54998412 >DUDE CHECK IT OUT >THERE'S NOTHING HERE, ISNT THAT SCARY???

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Anon on the Third Reich | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/08/21(Mon)18:24:36 No.866355644 >hyper military based society >tries to convince itself it's the strongest a---- military on earth 20 KB PNG >fights one (1) war >loses 25 Replies / 6 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 11/08/21(Mon)18:24:36 No.866355644 >hyper military based society >tries to convince itself it's the strongest a---- military on earth 20 KB PNG >fights one (1) war >loses 25 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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Many kek's were had. Please report this account to get him banned. | /r/Greentext

Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous F--- redditors 04/18/22(Mon)00:32:41 No.68264039 Anyone up for some /devilish/ trolling stories? >Was scrolling through feggit one day and saw a post with some stupid s--- like "iF yOu POst yOuR pAsSWorD RedDit wllL cENsOr iT" >notice a mighty amount of 24 KB JPG comments were left deleted >go on reveddit to see if some autistic dumbfucks actually tried it >takes like 20 minutes but finally find some absolute brainlet who actually posted his password >ofc I immediately log in thisiswherethefunbegins.jpeg >try to delete his account but apparently the slick f--- changed his password after i logged in, probably a warning tipped him off however because plebbit is written in literal spaghetti code unless i log out and log back in on mobile i can keep the account >immediately unsub from all his subreddits >comment on every single post i see "kill yourself n-----" or some variation on it >tell all his friends to f--- off and that i hate them then block everyone >learned through messages that he frequently uses reddit in class and that he shows it to everyone >immediately join every single bbc/scat/vore/furry s---/piss subs as i can >delete his snoo avatar Good times. Probably gonna post this over at r/greentext on his account, too. F--- you, u/Novn08
Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous F--- redditors 04/18/22(Mon)00:32:41 No.68264039 Anyone up for some /devilish/ trolling stories? >Was scrolling through feggit one day and saw a post with some stupid s--- like "iF yOu POst yOuR pAsSWorD RedDit wllL cENsOr iT" >notice a mighty amount of 24 KB JPG comments were left deleted >go on reveddit to see if some autistic dumbfucks actually tried it >takes like 20 minutes but finally find some absolute brainlet who actually posted his password >ofc I immediately log in thisiswherethefunbegins.jpeg >try to delete his account but apparently the slick f--- changed his password after i logged in, probably a warning tipped him off however because plebbit is written in literal spaghetti code unless i log out and log back in on mobile i can keep the account >immediately unsub from all his subreddits >comment on every single post i see "kill yourself n-----" or some variation on it >tell all his friends to f--- off and that i hate them then block everyone >learned through messages that he frequently uses reddit in class and that he shows it to everyone >immediately join every single bbc/scat/vore/furry s---/piss subs as i can >delete his snoo avatar Good times. Probably gonna post this over at r/greentext on his account, too. F--- you, u/Novn08

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