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Anon gets a gf. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)14:35:37 No.68271805 PS5 TIME SCHEDULE Foot Rub = 30 minutas og playing time Back Bub = 40 minuts 8 playing time CoOk Dinnee= 1 Houe playing time CNo Online) Take out Teash = 1 Game og 2K Only! (fromhure hs moh a) Clean the House =2 Houes playing time (* rnust take 30 minute beiak foe affLotion) *unlimited playtime on Sundays ONLY * NO playtime on holidays! - If Violation of this schedule occues, your PS5 wil be sold to Smalt Pawn on Teoost. - wigey 936 KB JPG >get a gf bro, it will be fun
Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)14:35:37 No.68271805 PS5 TIME SCHEDULE Foot Rub = 30 minutas og playing time Back Bub = 40 minuts 8 playing time CoOk Dinnee= 1 Houe playing time CNo Online) Take out Teash = 1 Game og 2K Only! (fromhure hs moh a) Clean the House =2 Houes playing time (* rnust take 30 minute beiak foe affLotion) *unlimited playtime on Sundays ONLY * NO playtime on holidays! - If Violation of this schedule occues, your PS5 wil be sold to Smalt Pawn on Teoost. - wigey 936 KB JPG >get a gf bro, it will be fun

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Anon gets his revenge | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 24 minutes ago 42946598 >neighbours dog bit me while I was riding my bicycle and always wakes me up during the day >piss in one of my mums pans >put piss in freezer >make frozen piss disk >go to neighbours house at 1am >slide the piss disk under their front door >next day visit their place to ask if they have any spare eggs and ask what happened >they tell me their dog p----- on the carpet >continue sliding piss disks under their door every few days for the next 3 months >find out they gave away their dog on craigslist 1 REPLY
Anonymous 24 minutes ago 42946598 >neighbours dog bit me while I was riding my bicycle and always wakes me up during the day >piss in one of my mums pans >put piss in freezer >make frozen piss disk >go to neighbours house at 1am >slide the piss disk under their front door >next day visit their place to ask if they have any spare eggs and ask what happened >they tell me their dog p----- on the carpet >continue sliding piss disks under their door every few days for the next 3 months >find out they gave away their dog on craigslist 1 REPLY

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Based indeed, anon. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)00:41:20 No.876521328 I miss the 30's so much! >Hitting wemon, based >Killing men, based >Stealing propeety, based >Killing inocent animals, based >Robbing graves, based >Sleeping with female students, superbased 137 KB JPG >Trespassing, based Anyone else wants to go back to simpler times? : Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)00:46:33 No.876521586 >30 year life expectancy, based
: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)00:41:20 No.876521328 I miss the 30's so much! >Hitting wemon, based >Killing men, based >Stealing propeety, based >Killing inocent animals, based >Robbing graves, based >Sleeping with female students, superbased 137 KB JPG >Trespassing, based Anyone else wants to go back to simpler times? : Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)00:46:33 No.876521586 >30 year life expectancy, based

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Anon is an asshole | /r/Greentext


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Anon asking the big questions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)10:59:46 No.68269334 >staying stationary causes you to fall over >pedaling magically makes you balance How the f---? 230 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)10:59:46 No.68269334 >staying stationary causes you to fall over >pedaling magically makes you balance How the f---? 230 KB JPG

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Anon has an idea for a movie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Movie idea 07/29/21(Thu)13:47:06 No.154240634 >aliens come to earth >tell humanity that it must choose one of its races to be eliminated before they share their knowledge and tech >a worldwide anonymous poll is held where you just have to think of which race to get rid of (none is 20 KB JPG an option as well) >plot twist: as the poll ends everyone who voted for a certain race gets a corresponding symbol tattooed on their face >aliens instantly leave without purging anyone or saying a word >chaos ensues
: Anonymous Movie idea 07/29/21(Thu)13:47:06 No.154240634 >aliens come to earth >tell humanity that it must choose one of its races to be eliminated before they share their knowledge and tech >a worldwide anonymous poll is held where you just have to think of which race to get rid of (none is 20 KB JPG an option as well) >plot twist: as the poll ends everyone who voted for a certain race gets a corresponding symbol tattooed on their face >aliens instantly leave without purging anyone or saying a word >chaos ensues

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Anonette is aging like a fine wine | /r/Greentext

Am I aging okay? 2008-2019. I'm aging like a fine wine, glad I'm not 18 years old, 28 is looking good on me. #howgooddidyouage #10yeardifference #seniorpictures #bathroompicture 1621994509863.jpg 91 KB JPG Copium-60 >>68263342 # >>68263351 # >>68263355 # >>68263381 # >>68263382 # >>68264177 # >>68264299 # >>68265234 # Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)22:25:28 No.68263382 >>68263334 # bitch is literally turning into a planet of the apes character
Am I aging okay? 2008-2019. I'm aging like a fine wine, glad I'm not 18 years old, 28 is looking good on me. #howgooddidyouage #10yeardifference #seniorpictures #bathroompicture 1621994509863.jpg 91 KB JPG Copium-60 >>68263342 # >>68263351 # >>68263355 # >>68263381 # >>68263382 # >>68264177 # >>68264299 # >>68265234 # Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)22:25:28 No.68263382 >>68263334 # bitch is literally turning into a planet of the apes character

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Anon explains why males have it worse than females | /r/Greentext

why women have it easier than men >male:female suicide ratio is about 4:1 in most western countries yet nothing is done about it 60 KB JPG >woman are allowed to bitch about whatever they want, men are expected to just cop it on the chin >ugly awkward men will be called autists whereas ugly awkward women will be labelled 'cute' >men are still expected to make the first move and pay for first date the world is retard /b/ and is only going to get worse
why women have it easier than men >male:female suicide ratio is about 4:1 in most western countries yet nothing is done about it 60 KB JPG >woman are allowed to bitch about whatever they want, men are expected to just cop it on the chin >ugly awkward men will be called autists whereas ugly awkward women will be labelled 'cute' >men are still expected to make the first move and pay for first date the world is retard /b/ and is only going to get worse

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Anon wears sunglasses | /r/Greentext

Anonymous take the sunglasses pill 04/18/22(Mon)08:08:41 No.68264982 >be me >average looking dude >decide to wear sunglasses 24/7 >suddenly 11/10 gigachad >now drowning in p---- 18 KB JPG literally that easy Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)08:13:04 No.68265010 >>68264982 (OP) # based sunglasses anon 10 KB JPG
Anonymous take the sunglasses pill 04/18/22(Mon)08:08:41 No.68264982 >be me >average looking dude >decide to wear sunglasses 24/7 >suddenly 11/10 gigachad >now drowning in p---- 18 KB JPG literally that easy Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)08:13:04 No.68265010 >>68264982 (OP) # based sunglasses anon 10 KB JPG

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Anon is a coomer. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous no fap might be onto something 04/18/22(Mon)10:39:02 No.68269144 >be me >khhv coomer >masturbates almost daily for the past 20 yrs 13 KB PNG >reducethechancesofprostatecancer.webm >finally gets a girl >somehow get the girl in bed without any spaghetti falling out of my pockets >gets naked, makeout >finally time to stick it in >f--- you Hogwarts not gonna be a wizard in this life >can't get it up F--- F--- F--- JUST F------ KILL ME NOW GOD F------ DAMNIT
Anonymous no fap might be onto something 04/18/22(Mon)10:39:02 No.68269144 >be me >khhv coomer >masturbates almost daily for the past 20 yrs 13 KB PNG >reducethechancesofprostatecancer.webm >finally gets a girl >somehow get the girl in bed without any spaghetti falling out of my pockets >gets naked, makeout >finally time to stick it in >f--- you Hogwarts not gonna be a wizard in this life >can't get it up F--- F--- F--- JUST F------ KILL ME NOW GOD F------ DAMNIT

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Anon knows his twix | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)18:25:57 No.876351510 >sitting blindfolded >woman in lab coat feeds me a Twix >"Left" >she marks her notes >329 consecutive correct guesses 71 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)18:25:57 No.876351510 >sitting blindfolded >woman in lab coat feeds me a Twix >"Left" >she marks her notes >329 consecutive correct guesses 71 KB JPG

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Dragged down by the stone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)14:14:06 No.25371292 >order one of those pink chokers with the cat bell on them >parents are nosy, constantly looking through my stuff >hide it somewhere, forget about it >year later, mom finds it and asks what it is 170 KB JPG >it's clearly a collar >she puts it on the family dog >jingling heard around the house It's either kill myself or move out.
: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)14:14:06 No.25371292 >order one of those pink chokers with the cat bell on them >parents are nosy, constantly looking through my stuff >hide it somewhere, forget about it >year later, mom finds it and asks what it is 170 KB JPG >it's clearly a collar >she puts it on the family dog >jingling heard around the house It's either kill myself or move out.

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Anon receives a sign. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)13:56:47 No.68258405 >wake up >fart >it's wet and sliding down my leg >it's also Easter Sunday What did Jesus mean by this? 416 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)13:56:47 No.68258405 >wake up >fart >it's wet and sliding down my leg >it's also Easter Sunday What did Jesus mean by this? 416 KB JPG

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Anon doing god’s work | /r/Greentext

2h (11/25 12:21) 840893983 90 Re 12 Img JPG 77KB (1200 x 947) 22 Replies T. SPECIAL > find a PS5 reseller in your area (Craigslist, Wallapop, Gumtree, Adverts..) > negotiate the price > arrange a meet somewhere far from their home (paid parking if possible) > ghost them So far, 10 down, and 15 meets arranged for the next 5 days. Haven't gotten banned from any platform yet. Am la bad person? ...
2h (11/25 12:21) 840893983 90 Re 12 Img JPG 77KB (1200 x 947) 22 Replies T. SPECIAL > find a PS5 reseller in your area (Craigslist, Wallapop, Gumtree, Adverts..) > negotiate the price > arrange a meet somewhere far from their home (paid parking if possible) > ghost them So far, 10 down, and 15 meets arranged for the next 5 days. Haven't gotten banned from any platform yet. Am la bad person? ...

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Anon getting closer to retirement | /r/Greentext

File: A751F58F-4372-4B0A-B166-EB45BEDC9B04.jpg (95 KB, 550x536) O Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)12:25:33 No.876499665 [Reply] > >876500365 > be me, 19 year old balding male > ride your bicycle for the first time this spring > get out of breath, sit down at a bench in the sun > old guy sits down next to me > smalltalk.exe > "do you know my son matthias k., anon?" >i don't know him > "guess he's too young for you to know him, he's only 33" > "how old do you think i am?" > "around 40, anon"
File: A751F58F-4372-4B0A-B166-EB45BEDC9B04.jpg (95 KB, 550x536) O Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)12:25:33 No.876499665 [Reply] > >876500365 > be me, 19 year old balding male > ride your bicycle for the first time this spring > get out of breath, sit down at a bench in the sun > old guy sits down next to me > smalltalk.exe > "do you know my son matthias k., anon?" >i don't know him > "guess he's too young for you to know him, he's only 33" > "how old do you think i am?" > "around 40, anon"

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Fat anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

>2018 >Fat >Go on date with girl from uni >She says she isn't interested at the end of it and never messages me again, but is still on my facebook friends list >2021 >Shredd/lean (not zyzz but I look and feel great) >Change my profile pic to me at the beach so my new body is visible >Same girl messages me on facebook how l'm doing >First time she's messaged me since then I think I know where this is going. Would I be a completely deranged person to stand her up on a date? F------ her is out of the question, I'm dating a girl right now who I actually like.
>2018 >Fat >Go on date with girl from uni >She says she isn't interested at the end of it and never messages me again, but is still on my facebook friends list >2021 >Shredd/lean (not zyzz but I look and feel great) >Change my profile pic to me at the beach so my new body is visible >Same girl messages me on facebook how l'm doing >First time she's messaged me since then I think I know where this is going. Would I be a completely deranged person to stand her up on a date? F------ her is out of the question, I'm dating a girl right now who I actually like.

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Anon works at a sperm bank | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/17/18(Wed)21:36:44 No.48760605 [Reply] >>48761214 >work at sperm bank >sneak and j--- into every white specimen collection i can find >every white infertile roastie that wants a baby now has a 50/50 chance of popping out a bronze baby >potentially ruined countless wh*Te marriages for the last 2 years >> Anonymous 10/17/18(Wed)22:16:55 No.48761214► File: 1510528657219.jpg (9 KB, 220x229) >>48760605 (OP) this would be a next level shitpost if real
Anonymous 10/17/18(Wed)21:36:44 No.48760605 [Reply] >>48761214 >work at sperm bank >sneak and j--- into every white specimen collection i can find >every white infertile roastie that wants a baby now has a 50/50 chance of popping out a bronze baby >potentially ruined countless wh*Te marriages for the last 2 years >> Anonymous 10/17/18(Wed)22:16:55 No.48761214► File: 1510528657219.jpg (9 KB, 220x229) >>48760605 (OP) this would be a next level shitpost if real

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Anon gets his dream job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/20(Tue)15:42:49 No.60848025 >turn 23 next week >graduated college pre corona >got big plans for a career, send out applications to the top spots >family and friends wish me luck everyone is rooting for me >cut to now 18 KB JPG >my 8th month living at home >3 rejected applications >unemployment pay runs out soon >going to have to put real career on hold and pick up some other job this is not what i was promised. this is hands down the worst economic and social period ever i understand why suicides are spiking
: Anonymous 11/10/20(Tue)15:42:49 No.60848025 >turn 23 next week >graduated college pre corona >got big plans for a career, send out applications to the top spots >family and friends wish me luck everyone is rooting for me >cut to now 18 KB JPG >my 8th month living at home >3 rejected applications >unemployment pay runs out soon >going to have to put real career on hold and pick up some other job this is not what i was promised. this is hands down the worst economic and social period ever i understand why suicides are spiking

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Anon has a questionable episode idea | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/22(Mon)17:20:28 No.873563564 They should've made an episode where hank catches marie giving walt junior a b------ on the toilet 26 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/28/22(Mon)17:22:33 No.873563673 >but Hank, i'm just helping the poor kid get his rocks off >JESUS CHRIST MARIE, THEY'RE MINERALS
: Anonymous 02/28/22(Mon)17:20:28 No.873563564 They should've made an episode where hank catches marie giving walt junior a b------ on the toilet 26 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/28/22(Mon)17:22:33 No.873563673 >but Hank, i'm just helping the poor kid get his rocks off >JESUS CHRIST MARIE, THEY'RE MINERALS

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Anon is a magician | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)07:14:39 No.876500905 hey check out this magic trick i can do >stay in bed all day >eat like s--- >don't exercise >don't talk to anyone >have no real hobbies 207 KB PNG Ta daaaa >l'm depressed
Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)07:14:39 No.876500905 hey check out this magic trick i can do >stay in bed all day >eat like s--- >don't exercise >don't talk to anyone >have no real hobbies 207 KB PNG Ta daaaa >l'm depressed

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