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Anon wants to talk about politics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)00:53:13 No.849071227 >be me >I wanna talk about some politics >go to /pol/ >"Jewish people and minorities are the cause of 126 KB PNG the worlds issues." >w--.jpg >go to twitter >"all white people are inherently racist and homophobic." >w-- that's not true >go to reddit >"communism has never failed" >have you people taken a single history class?? >go to facebook >"if I see another sheep wearing a mask I'm going to gun them down" >huh??? What happened to normal political views?
: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)00:53:13 No.849071227 >be me >I wanna talk about some politics >go to /pol/ >"Jewish people and minorities are the cause of 126 KB PNG the worlds issues." >w--.jpg >go to twitter >"all white people are inherently racist and homophobic." >w-- that's not true >go to reddit >"communism has never failed" >have you people taken a single history class?? >go to facebook >"if I see another sheep wearing a mask I'm going to gun them down" >huh??? What happened to normal political views?

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Anon reveals he's a virgin. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/16/22(Sat)19:58:40 No.68248815 I love f------ women doggy and seeing their b------- hanging down like some cow udders, its so hot. Even better if she lactates. I once f----- a girl with G cups and she went MOO000Õ00 as I pounded her 316 KB JPG Anonymous 04/16/22(Sat)19:59:54 No.68248829 >>68248815 (OP) You can't see their t--- when you're hitting it doggy style you dumbass Anonymous 04/16/22(Sat)20:00:40 No.68248837 >>68248829 >he doesn't have detachable eyes Anonymous 04/16/22(Sat)20:01:07 No.68248840 >>68248829 >t never used a mirror >t never f----- a girl with t--- big enough to see from the side Anonymous 04/16/22(Sat)20:01:40 No.68248850 >>68248829 >he's not f------ her while wearing a headset and controlling a drone camera Anonymous 04/16/22(Sat)20:05:10 No.68248879 >>68248829 >not being omniscient
Anonymous 04/16/22(Sat)19:58:40 No.68248815 I love f------ women doggy and seeing their b------- hanging down like some cow udders, its so hot. Even better if she lactates. I once f----- a girl with G cups and she went MOO000Õ00 as I pounded her 316 KB JPG Anonymous 04/16/22(Sat)19:59:54 No.68248829 >>68248815 (OP) You can't see their t--- when you're hitting it doggy style you dumbass Anonymous 04/16/22(Sat)20:00:40 No.68248837 >>68248829 >he doesn't have detachable eyes Anonymous 04/16/22(Sat)20:01:07 No.68248840 >>68248829 >t never used a mirror >t never f----- a girl with t--- big enough to see from the side Anonymous 04/16/22(Sat)20:01:40 No.68248850 >>68248829 >he's not f------ her while wearing a headset and controlling a drone camera Anonymous 04/16/22(Sat)20:05:10 No.68248879 >>68248829 >not being omniscient

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Anon likes em chunky. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous = 04/16/22(Sat)20:33:33 No.68249869 >have raging fetish for fat chicks. like absolutely disgusting, obese pigs >also lifts regularly, eats well, gets exercise in every day, stays in shape and obsessed with health >everytime i see obese people in public i get disgusted, thinking "these fat f------ pigs" 6 KB JPG >but still get horny to pics of fat chicks What is wrong with me?
: Anonymous = 04/16/22(Sat)20:33:33 No.68249869 >have raging fetish for fat chicks. like absolutely disgusting, obese pigs >also lifts regularly, eats well, gets exercise in every day, stays in shape and obsessed with health >everytime i see obese people in public i get disgusted, thinking "these fat f------ pigs" 6 KB JPG >but still get horny to pics of fat chicks What is wrong with me?

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Anon is trippin' | /r/Greentext

>think about moving arm >moves arm >just moved matter using nothing but my mind how? 150 KB PNG >have panic attack
>think about moving arm >moves arm >just moved matter using nothing but my mind how? 150 KB PNG >have panic attack

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Anon learns a valuable lesson | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 10/12/10(Tue)12:31 No.75545XXX. File1286901093.jpg-(48 KB, 678x444, 1233814009623.jpg) V [!] >Pretend I'm a girl just to get items >Meet a great girl in the process that convinces me to join her guild >Become best friends >She turns out to be a lesbian >Keep pretending even if it feels wrong >7months of online dating and cybering >She tells me we have to talk >Think she wants to meet IRL and get ready to tell her the horrible truth >She tells me she's really a guy pretending he's a lesbian >My f------ face when we've been two guys cybering lesbian sex for 7 months
O Anonymous 10/12/10(Tue)12:31 No.75545XXX. File1286901093.jpg-(48 KB, 678x444, 1233814009623.jpg) V [!] >Pretend I'm a girl just to get items >Meet a great girl in the process that convinces me to join her guild >Become best friends >She turns out to be a lesbian >Keep pretending even if it feels wrong >7months of online dating and cybering >She tells me we have to talk >Think she wants to meet IRL and get ready to tell her the horrible truth >She tells me she's really a guy pretending he's a lesbian >My f------ face when we've been two guys cybering lesbian sex for 7 months

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Anon plays the autism card | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)08:05:52 No.62991407 >boss calls me into office >"hey anon we noticed you've been cold and unwelcoming to your new coworkers unless you fix that you're unfortunately done here" >"sorry im autistic" "OH... OH MY GOD... okay... i'm so 31 KB PNG sorry anon... get back to work and there's no issue here" wow im not even autistic but that was easy
: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)08:05:52 No.62991407 >boss calls me into office >"hey anon we noticed you've been cold and unwelcoming to your new coworkers unless you fix that you're unfortunately done here" >"sorry im autistic" "OH... OH MY GOD... okay... i'm so 31 KB PNG sorry anon... get back to work and there's no issue here" wow im not even autistic but that was easy

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Anon cleans the litter box | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)00:27:16 No.876427885 >be me >19 >Dad wants me to clean the litter box >grab a bag >fail to notice small hole in bottom >start scooping >finish 55 KB JPG >"Anon, throw that s--- away, it stinks" >only hear "throw that s---" >stand there >start spinning the bag >bag breaks >cat s--- goes flying across the floor >dad watches >dad stares >mfw I'm f------ retarded
: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)00:27:16 No.876427885 >be me >19 >Dad wants me to clean the litter box >grab a bag >fail to notice small hole in bottom >start scooping >finish 55 KB JPG >"Anon, throw that s--- away, it stinks" >only hear "throw that s---" >stand there >start spinning the bag >bag breaks >cat s--- goes flying across the floor >dad watches >dad stares >mfw I'm f------ retarded

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Anon knows "you die if you worry, you die if you don't" | /r/Greentext


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Anon needs self-esteem. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 47733285 1 hr. ago •.. >l just lost an argument in my head against a person that doesn't even exist >l even stuttered 48.1 kB PNG 2 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 47733285 1 hr. ago •.. >l just lost an argument in my head against a person that doesn't even exist >l even stuttered 48.1 kB PNG 2 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY

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Anon changes his mind | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: IP4U8N1W ) [] 10/05/21(Tue)09:10:37 No.342225864 MAKE AME GREAT AGA maga vax.png 435 KB PNG >*cough *cough >"o-okay, please give me the vaccine now. W-what do you mean it doesn't work that way? Please, I have a wife and ki- >BEEEEEEP
: Anonymous (ID: IP4U8N1W ) [] 10/05/21(Tue)09:10:37 No.342225864 MAKE AME GREAT AGA maga vax.png 435 KB PNG >*cough *cough >"o-okay, please give me the vaccine now. W-what do you mean it doesn't work that way? Please, I have a wife and ki- >BEEEEEEP

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Anon is a boomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/30/19(Tue)10:08:19 No.53656767 >be boomer >cooking steak on the grill >using spare college degrees to fuel fire CRISTAL >smells like when we used to napalm the g---- >flip steak >top side of steak is branded with 100 KB JPG Ronald Reagan's face >l can feel the patriotism coursing through my veins pick up bottle of steak sauce >bottle is empty These damn millennials are f------ us in the ass.
: Anonymous 07/30/19(Tue)10:08:19 No.53656767 >be boomer >cooking steak on the grill >using spare college degrees to fuel fire CRISTAL >smells like when we used to napalm the g---- >flip steak >top side of steak is branded with 100 KB JPG Ronald Reagan's face >l can feel the patriotism coursing through my veins pick up bottle of steak sauce >bottle is empty These damn millennials are f------ us in the ass.

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Anon discovers simping | /r/Greentext

>be me >bored at home >decide to look at reddit >make an account >decide to larp as a cute underage asian egirl >post a bit and instantly get weird guys in my dms >talk to one a bit, it hets sexual >eventually he askes for nudes, i send him some random ones from google >he now wants me to masturbate on a call for him >tell him i don't have a microphone (i do have one i just cant do a girl voice) >he offers to buy me a microphone just so he can hear "her" masturbate in a discord cal what the f--- is wrong with redditors
>be me >bored at home >decide to look at reddit >make an account >decide to larp as a cute underage asian egirl >post a bit and instantly get weird guys in my dms >talk to one a bit, it hets sexual >eventually he askes for nudes, i send him some random ones from google >he now wants me to masturbate on a call for him >tell him i don't have a microphone (i do have one i just cant do a girl voice) >he offers to buy me a microphone just so he can hear "her" masturbate in a discord cal what the f--- is wrong with redditors

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Anon wishes he was born as a different sex | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 40543791 16 min. ago ••• >be female >Can get lovers effortlessly, many of which will literally pay all your bills just because you have a vagina and let you neet it up forever >get jobs even without proper quali- fication because MUH OPPRESSION gender quotas and shiet >have your special halo effect, "women are wonderful effect" that ensures 193.2 kB JPG people love you and care about you by default >can ruin any good man's life on a whim, no consequences >can f------ cosplay and occasionally take pics of your feet and get $50k a month on patreon from thirsty betas truly the oppressed gender REPLY
Anonymous | 40543791 16 min. ago ••• >be female >Can get lovers effortlessly, many of which will literally pay all your bills just because you have a vagina and let you neet it up forever >get jobs even without proper quali- fication because MUH OPPRESSION gender quotas and shiet >have your special halo effect, "women are wonderful effect" that ensures 193.2 kB JPG people love you and care about you by default >can ruin any good man's life on a whim, no consequences >can f------ cosplay and occasionally take pics of your feet and get $50k a month on patreon from thirsty betas truly the oppressed gender REPLY

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Anon gets a job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)10:40:39 No.68253662 1648682485324.png 52 KB PNG >had to stop doing drugs to get clean for a much better new job >now pretty much just sit in my chair and wait until i feel sleepy and sleep and go to my s--- day job >do nothing but work and come home and wait for the next day >video games arent fun and too poor for hobbies is this really all there is to life : Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)10:42:38 No.68253678 >>68253662 (OP)# Yes sir wakey wakey wagie 1.6 MB PNG
: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)10:40:39 No.68253662 1648682485324.png 52 KB PNG >had to stop doing drugs to get clean for a much better new job >now pretty much just sit in my chair and wait until i feel sleepy and sleep and go to my s--- day job >do nothing but work and come home and wait for the next day >video games arent fun and too poor for hobbies is this really all there is to life : Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)10:42:38 No.68253678 >>68253662 (OP)# Yes sir wakey wakey wagie 1.6 MB PNG

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Anon didn't get the memo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)10:03:19 No.849174362 >step mom moving stuff in the house >shelf falls over and traps her arm >she yells for my help >"anon, please, help me. I'm stuck." 420 KB JPG >l know exactly where this is going >whip my d--- out >she yells what the f--- >my dad walks in >flips out >they call the cops, I get arested W-- BangBros, you lied to me
: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)10:03:19 No.849174362 >step mom moving stuff in the house >shelf falls over and traps her arm >she yells for my help >"anon, please, help me. I'm stuck." 420 KB JPG >l know exactly where this is going >whip my d--- out >she yells what the f--- >my dad walks in >flips out >they call the cops, I get arested W-- BangBros, you lied to me

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Anon finds the cure for depression | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/25/21(Wed)22:07:44 No.63205272 >take some money >come to brazil >f--- some over 14+ pardinhas >enjoy some bossa nova >practice some real jiu jitsu 133 KB JPG >hit some beachs >f--- some pardinhas again >say bye bye to depression It's simple, depression is a first world thing of people who think too much of the next step, brother. >>63205284 # >>63205336 # >>63205340 # >>63205348 #
: Anonymous 08/25/21(Wed)22:07:44 No.63205272 >take some money >come to brazil >f--- some over 14+ pardinhas >enjoy some bossa nova >practice some real jiu jitsu 133 KB JPG >hit some beachs >f--- some pardinhas again >say bye bye to depression It's simple, depression is a first world thing of people who think too much of the next step, brother. >>63205284 # >>63205336 # >>63205340 # >>63205348 #

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Anon meets a girl online | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)08:18:34 No.68252604 >meet girl online last month >spending most days in calls together >asks me to "cuddle" over vc multiple times a week >sleeping in vc together >kisses the mic as if to give me kisses >watching our fave anime together >the feels start coming in 68 KB JPG >havent felt anything like this in 2 years >plan to ask her to be my girlfriend in the upcoming days >wake up >find out shes getting kicked out of her home by her parents >ask her does she have anywhere she can go for the next few days >"oh yeah im just gonna move in with my boyfriend"
: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)08:18:34 No.68252604 >meet girl online last month >spending most days in calls together >asks me to "cuddle" over vc multiple times a week >sleeping in vc together >kisses the mic as if to give me kisses >watching our fave anime together >the feels start coming in 68 KB JPG >havent felt anything like this in 2 years >plan to ask her to be my girlfriend in the upcoming days >wake up >find out shes getting kicked out of her home by her parents >ask her does she have anywhere she can go for the next few days >"oh yeah im just gonna move in with my boyfriend"

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Anon erroneously does not ask for consent | /r/Greentext

> In college, walking down a pathway > see a table with what looks like model penises on it 15 KB JPG > Decide to investigate > They are model penises > girl at the table asks me if I know how to use a condom and I say yes > She asks me to prove it by putting one on a model >I do, and she says I did it wrong because I didn't ask the model for consent > I'm a r-----
> In college, walking down a pathway > see a table with what looks like model penises on it 15 KB JPG > Decide to investigate > They are model penises > girl at the table asks me if I know how to use a condom and I say yes > She asks me to prove it by putting one on a model >I do, and she says I did it wrong because I didn't ask the model for consent > I'm a r-----

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Am I the autist | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a little creepy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)13:41:38 No.64377723 >walking to convenience store to buy snacks >see random girl, about my age with a nirvana shirt on >me: "hey whats your favorite nirvana song?" 8 KB JPG >her: "i dont know" >me: "but youre wearing the shirt" >her: "please stop" >me: "what?" >her: "youre being creepy" >me: "define creepy" >her: "no... just leave me alone please"
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)13:41:38 No.64377723 >walking to convenience store to buy snacks >see random girl, about my age with a nirvana shirt on >me: "hey whats your favorite nirvana song?" 8 KB JPG >her: "i dont know" >me: "but youre wearing the shirt" >her: "please stop" >me: "what?" >her: "youre being creepy" >me: "define creepy" >her: "no... just leave me alone please"

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