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The apple dosent fall far from the tree | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/01/20(Sat)21:02:27 No.565352 >talking to my dad about my depression >explaining passive suicidality >"while I'm not going to actively try to kill myself, if a truck was coming straight at me I probably wouldn't get out of the way" >his reply 93 KB JPG >his f------ reply >"oh that's how I've felt my whole life" >mfw
: Anonymous 02/01/20(Sat)21:02:27 No.565352 >talking to my dad about my depression >explaining passive suicidality >"while I'm not going to actively try to kill myself, if a truck was coming straight at me I probably wouldn't get out of the way" >his reply 93 KB JPG >his f------ reply >"oh that's how I've felt my whole life" >mfw

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Anon guesses | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)18:25:57 No.876351510 >sitting blindfolded >woman in lab coat feeds me a Twix >"Left" >she marks her notes >329 consecutive correct guesses 71 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)18:25:57 No.876351510 >sitting blindfolded >woman in lab coat feeds me a Twix >"Left" >she marks her notes >329 consecutive correct guesses 71 KB JPG

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Anon enjoys onanism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)23:11:30 No.68232364 >go on date >get rejected >go home >rub one out thank God we can DIY this s---. 51 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)23:11:30 No.68232364 >go on date >get rejected >go home >rub one out thank God we can DIY this s---. 51 KB JPG

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Anon has a good dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)03:50:24 No.64588355 >>64585149 (OP) # > dad is a welder > really hard worker, literally works himself to death 39 KB JPG > does it because he loves my family and wants to provide > comes home late, hardly ever see him > 2nd grade in primary school > in class > look at door and see my dad > "excuse me, can I take anon outside to see the eclipse?" > teacher lets me go out with my old man > never seen one before, super stoked, plus I'm happy to see my dad at school > he hands me a welding helmet like pic related and I look at the sun > only lasted about 10 minutes but is still a cherished memory
: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)03:50:24 No.64588355 >>64585149 (OP) # > dad is a welder > really hard worker, literally works himself to death 39 KB JPG > does it because he loves my family and wants to provide > comes home late, hardly ever see him > 2nd grade in primary school > in class > look at door and see my dad > "excuse me, can I take anon outside to see the eclipse?" > teacher lets me go out with my old man > never seen one before, super stoked, plus I'm happy to see my dad at school > he hands me a welding helmet like pic related and I look at the sun > only lasted about 10 minutes but is still a cherished memory

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Anon goes for a walk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)16:22:19 No.68228138 I have jestermaxxed my own life >Wake up after 5 hours of sleep >Tinnitus is biting hard today and incessant screeching in my ears prevents me from going back to sleep >It's 4AM 147 KB JPG >Decide to go for a walk instead of losing my mind sitting in my dark room waiting for the sun to rise >After a few minutes of walking, some dude calls at me from the other side of the street >Say "Hey, man" and keep walking >He crosses the street and starts walking beside me in silence >This goes on for a few minutes >Finally speaks, tells me he has a knife >Tell him "Nice, can't be too safe" and show him my Swiss Army knife that I've kept in my pockets for years >Runs off >Keep walking, eventually get back home >Realize he was trying to mug me I hope it was sleep deprivation and not autism
: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)16:22:19 No.68228138 I have jestermaxxed my own life >Wake up after 5 hours of sleep >Tinnitus is biting hard today and incessant screeching in my ears prevents me from going back to sleep >It's 4AM 147 KB JPG >Decide to go for a walk instead of losing my mind sitting in my dark room waiting for the sun to rise >After a few minutes of walking, some dude calls at me from the other side of the street >Say "Hey, man" and keep walking >He crosses the street and starts walking beside me in silence >This goes on for a few minutes >Finally speaks, tells me he has a knife >Tell him "Nice, can't be too safe" and show him my Swiss Army knife that I've kept in my pockets for years >Runs off >Keep walking, eventually get back home >Realize he was trying to mug me I hope it was sleep deprivation and not autism

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Anon gives some dating advice | /r/Greentext


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Anon has allergies | /r/Greentext


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Anon and his gf | /r/Greentext


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Anon chooses a lifepath | /r/Greentext

File: Doom Slayer.png (151 KB, 236x423) Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)14:31:07 No.68227231 > >68227525 >l'm going to die a kissless virgin >I'm never going to go on a date >No woman will ever want me >l've accepted this >All I have is anger and depression >l've learnt to channel the negative emotion into resolve and drive >Like picrel Right now l'm studying to become a firefighter and doing very well in my course Is there any baseness in committing my life to this profession? If I'm going to be miserable for the rest of my life I might as well spend them helping people. Even if it destroys my body and mind could I get satisfaction from the good work I'd be doing? Is there any chance I could get something resembling happiness?
File: Doom Slayer.png (151 KB, 236x423) Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)14:31:07 No.68227231 > >68227525 >l'm going to die a kissless virgin >I'm never going to go on a date >No woman will ever want me >l've accepted this >All I have is anger and depression >l've learnt to channel the negative emotion into resolve and drive >Like picrel Right now l'm studying to become a firefighter and doing very well in my course Is there any baseness in committing my life to this profession? If I'm going to be miserable for the rest of my life I might as well spend them helping people. Even if it destroys my body and mind could I get satisfaction from the good work I'd be doing? Is there any chance I could get something resembling happiness?

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Anon commits a war crime | /r/Greentext


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Anon is an alpha male | /r/Greentext


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snape get his heart broken | /r/Greentext


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Anon loses his virginity | /r/Greentext

>go shopping at retail store >see female employee folding a pair of pants >they're my size >ask if I can try them on >she shrugs >go into fitting room and put on pants >pants touched by female hands touching boxers touching my d--- >molested by my uncle at age 7 see you later, virgins
>go shopping at retail store >see female employee folding a pair of pants >they're my size >ask if I can try them on >she shrugs >go into fitting room and put on pants >pants touched by female hands touching boxers touching my d--- >molested by my uncle at age 7 see you later, virgins

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Tables have been turned for Anon. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.26583677 10 hours ago How about a /devilish/ thread? >At uni >Girl calls me a loser >over the line >Find her facebook >She has a boyfriend >Everything is public >Perfect >Save her pictures, learn her interests >Make an okcupid account >Fill it out with her info >Interact with others a little >Make a fake Chad facebook account >Message her boyfriend >"Hey bro sorry to bring this up but I was on okcupid and I do google searches of my dates, found your gf on it. Thought I should let you know." >bf messages me back "wow dude thanks for telling me." >A few days later check her facebook >Relationship: Single. Who is the loser now?
Anonymous No.26583677 10 hours ago How about a /devilish/ thread? >At uni >Girl calls me a loser >over the line >Find her facebook >She has a boyfriend >Everything is public >Perfect >Save her pictures, learn her interests >Make an okcupid account >Fill it out with her info >Interact with others a little >Make a fake Chad facebook account >Message her boyfriend >"Hey bro sorry to bring this up but I was on okcupid and I do google searches of my dates, found your gf on it. Thought I should let you know." >bf messages me back "wow dude thanks for telling me." >A few days later check her facebook >Relationship: Single. Who is the loser now?

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Anon teaches his office | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 775720450 1 min ago >be me >dispatch manager for a small company >bunch of 18 year olds start working in the shipping dept >start using the most current memes, yet, ligma etc, just general s--- from 4chan/reddit to see if they get it >kids get really into it >everything is a meme to them >boss walks into the dispatch room just as I chuck some packing tape to one the kids screaming yeet as I do it >boss takes one look at me and says "looks like you've got a case of updog" >one of the kids replies "what's up dog?" >MFW my boss is the biggest memer in the office 704.8 kB JPG REPLY
Anonymous | 775720450 1 min ago >be me >dispatch manager for a small company >bunch of 18 year olds start working in the shipping dept >start using the most current memes, yet, ligma etc, just general s--- from 4chan/reddit to see if they get it >kids get really into it >everything is a meme to them >boss walks into the dispatch room just as I chuck some packing tape to one the kids screaming yeet as I do it >boss takes one look at me and says "looks like you've got a case of updog" >one of the kids replies "what's up dog?" >MFW my boss is the biggest memer in the office 704.8 kB JPG REPLY

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anon is a degenerate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/28/17(Thu)07:26:51 No.746469601 Thinking of buying some 12 year old scotch. Does it live up to the hype? 368 KB JPG : Anonymous 09/28/17(Thu)07:29:56 No.746469898 >>746469601 (OP) # let her buy her own scotch you p-------- >>746469943 # >>746470233 # >>746470276 # >>746474489 #
: Anonymous 09/28/17(Thu)07:26:51 No.746469601 Thinking of buying some 12 year old scotch. Does it live up to the hype? 368 KB JPG : Anonymous 09/28/17(Thu)07:29:56 No.746469898 >>746469601 (OP) # let her buy her own scotch you p-------- >>746469943 # >>746470233 # >>746470276 # >>746474489 #

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Anon in the greatest country | /r/Greentext

>be indian >wake up to screams of women being gang r---- >pray to blue two-headed rhino god >no shower so bathe in the Ganges >almost choke on child's spinal column >ride on roof of victorian train to the call centre >"hello this is hank from computer company we need to ask you a few-" *click* >creepily hit on western women on facebook during breaktime >walking home >need to take a s--- for the 35th time that day >squat over a dying orphan who happened to be in the way >wipe anus with hand >eat rice from a giant communal bowl >use hands like a chimp >time for bed >crawl up in a pile of straw with, pray to 5 armed lobster-woman god for allowing me to live in the greatest country on earth
>be indian >wake up to screams of women being gang r---- >pray to blue two-headed rhino god >no shower so bathe in the Ganges >almost choke on child's spinal column >ride on roof of victorian train to the call centre >"hello this is hank from computer company we need to ask you a few-" *click* >creepily hit on western women on facebook during breaktime >walking home >need to take a s--- for the 35th time that day >squat over a dying orphan who happened to be in the way >wipe anus with hand >eat rice from a giant communal bowl >use hands like a chimp >time for bed >crawl up in a pile of straw with, pray to 5 armed lobster-woman god for allowing me to live in the greatest country on earth

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Anon receives data advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)08:39:53 No.595649376 Why are they called video games instead of data games? Video game implies its gonna be some FMV s--- or something. Data game is more accurate because they're all data. We should start calling them data games. 236 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)08:40:23 No.595649432 >>595649376 (OP) # Maybe you should data girl. >>595649553 # >>595650104 # >>595652927 # >>595653382 # >>595653662 # >>595653774 # >>595655723 # >>595655740 # >>595655812 #
: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)08:39:53 No.595649376 Why are they called video games instead of data games? Video game implies its gonna be some FMV s--- or something. Data game is more accurate because they're all data. We should start calling them data games. 236 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)08:40:23 No.595649432 >>595649376 (OP) # Maybe you should data girl. >>595649553 # >>595650104 # >>595652927 # >>595653382 # >>595653662 # >>595653774 # >>595655723 # >>595655740 # >>595655812 #

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The state of this sub | /r/Greentext

u/SignedDeath • 1d • i.redd.it u/Fossam • 1d • i.redd.it .. 1 Award 1 Award Anon is trapped Anon gets bamboozled : Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 : Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 ) = 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at a rally marchina un to conaress on his imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at 51 KB JPG 51 KB JPG a rally marchina un to conaress on his u/liljamofficial · 2d • i.redd.it u/soursourkarma • 2d • imgur 1 Award anon goes to do Anon is right : Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 : Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at a rallv. marchina up to conaress on his imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at a rally, marching up to congress on his naah ahitand than mill araun imlasak. 51 KB JPG 51 KB JPG u/akarsh99 · 2d • imgur r/greentext Anon is having a great day u/bandersna7ch • 2d • i.redd.it : Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 Anon gets political 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 : Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at a rally, marching up to congress on his orders to smash s--- and then mill around aimlessly 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at 51 KB JPG 51 KB JPG I.
u/SignedDeath • 1d • i.redd.it u/Fossam • 1d • i.redd.it .. 1 Award 1 Award Anon is trapped Anon gets bamboozled : Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 : Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 ) = 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at a rally marchina un to conaress on his imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at 51 KB JPG 51 KB JPG a rally marchina un to conaress on his u/liljamofficial · 2d • i.redd.it u/soursourkarma • 2d • imgur 1 Award anon goes to do Anon is right : Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 : Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at a rallv. marchina up to conaress on his imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at a rally, marching up to congress on his naah ahitand than mill araun imlasak. 51 KB JPG 51 KB JPG u/akarsh99 · 2d • imgur r/greentext Anon is having a great day u/bandersna7ch • 2d • i.redd.it : Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 Anon gets political 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 : Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at a rally, marching up to congress on his orders to smash s--- and then mill around aimlessly 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at 51 KB JPG 51 KB JPG I.

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And these visions of Johanna | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)13:18:21 No.61383858 >everyone is home due to lockdown >sis and mom baking cookies >dad is decorating the house for xmas while it starts to snow a little >sit comfortably snuggled in my blanket, drinking expensive whisky while discussing with my best friend over Discord if 176 KB PNG it would be gay to suck a s------ d--- Maximum comfy levels have been reached
: Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)13:18:21 No.61383858 >everyone is home due to lockdown >sis and mom baking cookies >dad is decorating the house for xmas while it starts to snow a little >sit comfortably snuggled in my blanket, drinking expensive whisky while discussing with my best friend over Discord if 176 KB PNG it would be gay to suck a s------ d--- Maximum comfy levels have been reached

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