Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

Anon wears a mask | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)10:53:06 No.859783084 >am fully vaccinated >still wear a mask in public because it triggers antimaskers into fits >l'm free to wear a mask and that freedom makes them seeth. 288 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)10:53:06 No.859783084 >am fully vaccinated >still wear a mask in public because it triggers antimaskers into fits >l'm free to wear a mask and that freedom makes them seeth. 288 KB JPG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism mammal font line

Anon is a proud Detroit resident | /r/Greentext

File: v2cjdmt3vqq21.jpg (32 KB, 612x637) O Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)13:36:20 No.875984870 Getting mugged? Just say no. > Live in Detroit, not even one of the bad parts. > Someone tries to mug me at least yearly, total of 8 times throughout my life. > Just tell them, "No.", and keep walking. > Works every time. They want your wallet, not a murder charge. They don't expect you to put up any resistance, let alone apathy. Your robber legally cannot take any of you possessions without your consent. u.S. Penal Code section 213(a)(1)(A
File: v2cjdmt3vqq21.jpg (32 KB, 612x637) O Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)13:36:20 No.875984870 Getting mugged? Just say no. > Live in Detroit, not even one of the bad parts. > Someone tries to mug me at least yearly, total of 8 times throughout my life. > Just tell them, "No.", and keep walking. > Works every time. They want your wallet, not a murder charge. They don't expect you to put up any resistance, let alone apathy. Your robber legally cannot take any of you possessions without your consent. u.S. Penal Code section 213(a)(1)(A

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext product gesture font

Anon ended in China | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)18:22:35 No.876216688 > be me > German living in Berlin > 10 pm walking down the street in Berlin > sees my crush from college > she is from München > say Hi to her > she replies but start telephoning 53 KB JPG > she is going to the train station > sperg kicks in and I decided to go with her even though she is telephoning > mfw she is pretending it > mfw I cant turn back cuz it would be awkward > we are at the train station > she still pretends that she is telephoning > I am still waiting > On the schedule there are only 2 last trains today > first one is Cargo train and second is to München > autism again > "Ok so now I must take the seat in the cargo one cuz I cant go away and I cant go with her to München" > Cargo train is here > I take a seat in an empty wagon and noone noticed only my Crush gave me confused look > mfw I dont know where the f--- am I > mfw I am already 6 hours in the cargo train going to the east I dont know where the f--- am I but I am pretty sure that I am not in the Europe anymore Sorry for bad english I am hungry, exhausted and thirsty in the train somewhere in the China.
: Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)18:22:35 No.876216688 > be me > German living in Berlin > 10 pm walking down the street in Berlin > sees my crush from college > she is from München > say Hi to her > she replies but start telephoning 53 KB JPG > she is going to the train station > sperg kicks in and I decided to go with her even though she is telephoning > mfw she is pretending it > mfw I cant turn back cuz it would be awkward > we are at the train station > she still pretends that she is telephoning > I am still waiting > On the schedule there are only 2 last trains today > first one is Cargo train and second is to München > autism again > "Ok so now I must take the seat in the cargo one cuz I cant go away and I cant go with her to München" > Cargo train is here > I take a seat in an empty wagon and noone noticed only my Crush gave me confused look > mfw I dont know where the f--- am I > mfw I am already 6 hours in the cargo train going to the east I dont know where the f--- am I but I am pretty sure that I am not in the Europe anymore Sorry for bad english I am hungry, exhausted and thirsty in the train somewhere in the China.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon got bamboozled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)21:09:23 No.838004040 >be me >21 >super straight male >get horny one night and decide to go use the local glory hole >actually kinda enjoy it >half way through person on the otherside moans 153 KB PNG >it's a guy's moan >realize ive been sucking a man's c--- this entire time mfw
: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)21:09:23 No.838004040 >be me >21 >super straight male >get horny one night and decide to go use the local glory hole >actually kinda enjoy it >half way through person on the otherside moans 153 KB PNG >it's a guy's moan >realize ive been sucking a man's c--- this entire time mfw

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext goggles happy font

Anon discovers wild animal suffering | /r/Greentext

Board /sci/ - Science & Math Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)04:51:58 No.14390693 EXPERIMENT Question: Did sexual selection affect the evolution of long tails in African long-tailed widowbirds? METHOD Artificially lengthen or shorten tails on birds by cutting feathers or gluing on feathers. RESULTS Artificially lengthened Artificially shortened Normal Conclusion: Sexual selection in widowbirds favors long tails. © 2001 Sinauer Associates, Inc. 51BB2CC4-9E4F-4984-B50C-5ADDC93BF43B.jpg 110 KB JPG If birds knew this would they hate women? : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)06:44:54 No.14390899 >>14390693 (OP) # imagine being the bird with artificially shortened tail >aliens abduct you >turn you from 6ft to 5ft >he's an incel now,write that down >ayy Imao 19 KB JPG >>14390930 # >>14392193 # >>14392372 # Average number of nests per male 2.
Board /sci/ - Science & Math Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)04:51:58 No.14390693 EXPERIMENT Question: Did sexual selection affect the evolution of long tails in African long-tailed widowbirds? METHOD Artificially lengthen or shorten tails on birds by cutting feathers or gluing on feathers. RESULTS Artificially lengthened Artificially shortened Normal Conclusion: Sexual selection in widowbirds favors long tails. © 2001 Sinauer Associates, Inc. 51BB2CC4-9E4F-4984-B50C-5ADDC93BF43B.jpg 110 KB JPG If birds knew this would they hate women? : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)06:44:54 No.14390899 >>14390693 (OP) # imagine being the bird with artificially shortened tail >aliens abduct you >turn you from 6ft to 5ft >he's an incel now,write that down >ayy Imao 19 KB JPG >>14390930 # >>14392193 # >>14392372 # Average number of nests per male 2.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext product font

Anon has a baby face | /r/Greentext

04/13/22(Wed)19:43:27 No.876220039 : Anonymous DIPLOMA EMPLOY AFU APUSTAJA EE KICATIONAL MONTH Of THE UNIVERSITY BREAKING NEWS PEPE INC. EXECUTIVE INDICTED JUNE BEPT. 1204721512.png 189 KB PNG >first day at new job >small office, less than 10 of us >HR lady encourages everyone to stop working for a second and lets me introduce myself to my new coworkers >"oh uh hey my name is anon, im 37 and i--" >"37?!!11!?" >am pretty short, have baby face, and never could grow a beard (thx genes) >all my coworkers shocked at how young i look for my age >reply "haha yea sometimes i think id be better off trying to date little kids than women my age!" anyway that was the last time my coworkers ever interacted with me, anyone else's autism get in the way of their day to day lives?
04/13/22(Wed)19:43:27 No.876220039 : Anonymous DIPLOMA EMPLOY AFU APUSTAJA EE KICATIONAL MONTH Of THE UNIVERSITY BREAKING NEWS PEPE INC. EXECUTIVE INDICTED JUNE BEPT. 1204721512.png 189 KB PNG >first day at new job >small office, less than 10 of us >HR lady encourages everyone to stop working for a second and lets me introduce myself to my new coworkers >"oh uh hey my name is anon, im 37 and i--" >"37?!!11!?" >am pretty short, have baby face, and never could grow a beard (thx genes) >all my coworkers shocked at how young i look for my age >reply "haha yea sometimes i think id be better off trying to date little kids than women my age!" anyway that was the last time my coworkers ever interacted with me, anyone else's autism get in the way of their day to day lives?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism

Me when the when | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)14:20:42 No.65904504 >getting mired at the gym more >notice girls looking at me almost every time I go >a couple have talked to me first >this is after years of almost no attention, even ridicule 38 KB JPG >l've had to put so much work in to get here >at this point it feels like if they f--- me they win >girl approached me today at the squat rack >asks me about lifting and how long I've been going >she gets really close, almost in my face >she's trying to act cute >I finally say to her l'm not into trans girls >she briskly replys she isn't trans and thanks me for the advice >she walks off hiding her pain Did I "make it"? The rest of my workout felt amazing, I even thought I looked better in the mirror
: Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)14:20:42 No.65904504 >getting mired at the gym more >notice girls looking at me almost every time I go >a couple have talked to me first >this is after years of almost no attention, even ridicule 38 KB JPG >l've had to put so much work in to get here >at this point it feels like if they f--- me they win >girl approached me today at the squat rack >asks me about lifting and how long I've been going >she gets really close, almost in my face >she's trying to act cute >I finally say to her l'm not into trans girls >she briskly replys she isn't trans and thanks me for the advice >she walks off hiding her pain Did I "make it"? The rest of my workout felt amazing, I even thought I looked better in the mirror

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon describe batman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)18:36:44 No.872808625 >rejects usual scientologist billionaire bs >refuses to give money to the poor >lives in a cave >dresses up with an armored furry suit >drives a tank at 200mph on residential areas 210 KB JPG >beats up people with mental illness f------ gigachad
: Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)18:36:44 No.872808625 >rejects usual scientologist billionaire bs >refuses to give money to the poor >lives in a cave >dresses up with an armored furry suit >drives a tank at 200mph on residential areas 210 KB JPG >beats up people with mental illness f------ gigachad

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant

a high quality post | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/14/22(Thu)00:41:42 No.595512143 >go to Night City >the sun comes up What the f--- 832 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/14/22(Thu)00:41:42 No.595512143 >go to Night City >the sun comes up What the f--- 832 KB JPG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Unholy trinity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/05/21(Fri)19:12:13 No.66040521 >be me >share the same name with other two coworkers >tell them we should start speaking in third person whenever anyone is getting annoying >they a bit skeptic it might work 1.34 MB PNG but on board with >just a couple of weeks and we already made workplace hell for normie >expose socialfags to public ridicule every time they try to act smart >they literally can't do s--- about it because the three Anons work better than any of them
: Anonymous 11/05/21(Fri)19:12:13 No.66040521 >be me >share the same name with other two coworkers >tell them we should start speaking in third person whenever anyone is getting annoying >they a bit skeptic it might work 1.34 MB PNG but on board with >just a couple of weeks and we already made workplace hell for normie >expose socialfags to public ridicule every time they try to act smart >they literally can't do s--- about it because the three Anons work better than any of them

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext beard font

Anon meets an older kid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/19(Tue)09:02:28 No.790057917 >be me >8 y/o >on bus home >really damn hungry >see much older kid (15) behind me open his hot dog >always been scared of older kids >hunger.mpg is using too much maybe the real rare epes were the Inends we found along the way 12 KB JPG memory >"hey, can I please have a small bite?" >he turns to face me >doesn't utter a word, just smiles and hands me the whole hotdog >i grab it and sit back in my seat >happiest little f--- in the bus >22 now and I still regret not thanking that blessed soul Wherever you are, I hope you have a happy life my bro.
: Anonymous 01/15/19(Tue)09:02:28 No.790057917 >be me >8 y/o >on bus home >really damn hungry >see much older kid (15) behind me open his hot dog >always been scared of older kids >hunger.mpg is using too much maybe the real rare epes were the Inends we found along the way 12 KB JPG memory >"hey, can I please have a small bite?" >he turns to face me >doesn't utter a word, just smiles and hands me the whole hotdog >i grab it and sit back in my seat >happiest little f--- in the bus >22 now and I still regret not thanking that blessed soul Wherever you are, I hope you have a happy life my bro.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font

Anon makes up a sorry for r/AITA | /r/Greentext

File: redditor.png (10 KB, 211x239) O Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)12:25:32 No.876201934 [Reply] >>876202150 What the f--- is wrong with people on reddit >be me >writing fake story on reddit.com/amitheasshole >act as a girl >tell them about fight with bf >they tell me he is the a------ >wait 1 month >tell exactly the same story but with swapped genders >80% tell me l'm the a------ h-------- they are all coomers Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)12:28:47 No.876202012 100% of redditors have not seen the sun in months >> O Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)12:34:27 No.876202150 >>876201934 (OP) # > go on 4chan > make one good post and 4 posts where people called you a retarded f----- > who cares, it's anonymous > go on Reddit > smoke pack of cigarettes while carefully watching which kinds of posts get good reactions > basically a pointless thing like playing no money Roulette > step outside the line and get banned
File: redditor.png (10 KB, 211x239) O Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)12:25:32 No.876201934 [Reply] >>876202150 What the f--- is wrong with people on reddit >be me >writing fake story on reddit.com/amitheasshole >act as a girl >tell them about fight with bf >they tell me he is the a------ >wait 1 month >tell exactly the same story but with swapped genders >80% tell me l'm the a------ h-------- they are all coomers Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)12:28:47 No.876202012 100% of redditors have not seen the sun in months >> O Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)12:34:27 No.876202150 >>876201934 (OP) # > go on 4chan > make one good post and 4 posts where people called you a retarded f----- > who cares, it's anonymous > go on Reddit > smoke pack of cigarettes while carefully watching which kinds of posts get good reactions > basically a pointless thing like playing no money Roulette > step outside the line and get banned

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon is a man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)07:57:24 No.66322532 What is a man? What am I suposed to do as a man? 29 KB JPG 5090
: Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)07:57:24 No.66322532 What is a man? What am I suposed to do as a man? 29 KB JPG 5090

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext product font

anon doesn't understand | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/08/21(Mon)15:40:33 No.158877665 OC >there are people who give money to Twitch streamers unironically creeps me out. 6 KB JPG >>158878000 #
: Anonymous 11/08/21(Mon)15:40:33 No.158877665 OC >there are people who give money to Twitch streamers unironically creeps me out. 6 KB JPG >>158878000 #

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext smile jaw organism font line

Anon is a virgin | /r/Greentext

8h · 54619337 JPG· 494KB · (900 × 900) 1 Reply >Everyone says there's time and not to worry about it >Have heard this for 3 years and am no closer to losing my virginity >Literally do not know the name of 1 single girl my age >Have no f------ clue where to even start in changing this Setting a course for wizardhood
8h · 54619337 JPG· 494KB · (900 × 900) 1 Reply >Everyone says there's time and not to worry about it >Have heard this for 3 years and am no closer to losing my virginity >Literally do not know the name of 1 single girl my age >Have no f------ clue where to even start in changing this Setting a course for wizardhood

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext world automotive tire terrestrial plant font

Anon has allergies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)06:18:27 No.68198502 I survived a benadryl overdose today. I was having really bad alergies so I took some kids liquid benadryl, and I took what I thought was an adult dose. In reality it was way too much I felt like I was going into a coma, couldn't sleep,could barely move, and kept spasming 73 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)06:47:30 No.68198690 >>68198502 (OP) # what dose did you take? Most I've had was 6oomg with like 150g of alcohol.
: Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)06:18:27 No.68198502 I survived a benadryl overdose today. I was having really bad alergies so I took some kids liquid benadryl, and I took what I thought was an adult dose. In reality it was way too much I felt like I was going into a coma, couldn't sleep,could barely move, and kept spasming 73 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)06:47:30 No.68198690 >>68198502 (OP) # what dose did you take? Most I've had was 6oomg with like 150g of alcohol.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon joins shitpost group | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/03/18(Wed)00:13:01 No.781354558 Hey f--- heres a greentext threat about Irony >be me >have female friend who likes shitpost as much as I do 15 KB JPG >notificationtojoinashitpostgroupfromher.exe >Flat Earth etc... >seems like a decent shitpost group >everyone has a top tier shitposting/Irony humor >"NASA uses Eyefish lence" >Laugh at funny ironical memes and s--- they write >my friend likes NASA and space bs >see a post where she is arguing w/ some random guy >Find out the FB group is not a shitpost group >Mfw I've been in this group for at least 2 months >Mfw I thought their posts were memes >Mfw these people actually think Earth is flat >Mfw top excuse is "NASA uses eyefish lence"
: Anonymous 10/03/18(Wed)00:13:01 No.781354558 Hey f--- heres a greentext threat about Irony >be me >have female friend who likes shitpost as much as I do 15 KB JPG >notificationtojoinashitpostgroupfromher.exe >Flat Earth etc... >seems like a decent shitpost group >everyone has a top tier shitposting/Irony humor >"NASA uses Eyefish lence" >Laugh at funny ironical memes and s--- they write >my friend likes NASA and space bs >see a post where she is arguing w/ some random guy >Find out the FB group is not a shitpost group >Mfw I've been in this group for at least 2 months >Mfw I thought their posts were memes >Mfw these people actually think Earth is flat >Mfw top excuse is "NASA uses eyefish lence"

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism

Anon meets a Chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/19(Sun)18:45:12 No.51382509 >first time in gym >my very first excercise is bench >next to me are some zoomers and wiggers >they snicker and say to themselves "This dude looks like he sits behind 11 KB JPG computer 24/7" >About to cry >make up some b------- like im thristy and go to toilets so i can pack and leave >Some dude stops me and say if he can use bench >It's m------------ Chad just like from the memes >say yea >Asks if i will spot him >0-okay >We start to talk he noticed im first timer in the gym >He teaches me lifts we talk for hour and for this whole hour it feels like im safe and protected >Mfw this chad says "see you tomorrow okay? I have leg day and i will t each you deadlifts" Is this how chads are? Is this how it feels to die for king? It felt like dream but it was all real. My king My liege WE WILL MAKE IT!
: Anonymous 06/30/19(Sun)18:45:12 No.51382509 >first time in gym >my very first excercise is bench >next to me are some zoomers and wiggers >they snicker and say to themselves "This dude looks like he sits behind 11 KB JPG computer 24/7" >About to cry >make up some b------- like im thristy and go to toilets so i can pack and leave >Some dude stops me and say if he can use bench >It's m------------ Chad just like from the memes >say yea >Asks if i will spot him >0-okay >We start to talk he noticed im first timer in the gym >He teaches me lifts we talk for hour and for this whole hour it feels like im safe and protected >Mfw this chad says "see you tomorrow okay? I have leg day and i will t each you deadlifts" Is this how chads are? Is this how it feels to die for king? It felt like dream but it was all real. My king My liege WE WILL MAKE IT!

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant

Anon understand limits | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The Stick of Sex 04/12/22(Tue)22:26:20 No.68193959 >Be me >16, year 11 physics >Physics teacher is pretty odd, he's about 30, extremely tall >He likes doing 'stretches' with the girls in my grade, very hands on kind of guy 5 KB JPG >One day he's teaching us about limits >"This, everyone, is the stick of sex" >We all look up at the stick of sex >"The length of the stick corresponds to how much love you can feel for someone else" >"Each time you have sex with a different person, the amount of love you can feel halfs" >"As you see, even after the second or third partner, your capacity for love is significantly reduced" >"Of course, you never actually lose the capacity to love, it just becomes so small that it's not even noticeable" This lesson has stuck with me for a long time. Not only did he eloquently explain the concept of a limit, but he also btfo every roastie in my class and taught me a valuable life lesson. Thank you based purity-pilled repressed-fomo-fantasies physics teacher.
: Anonymous The Stick of Sex 04/12/22(Tue)22:26:20 No.68193959 >Be me >16, year 11 physics >Physics teacher is pretty odd, he's about 30, extremely tall >He likes doing 'stretches' with the girls in my grade, very hands on kind of guy 5 KB JPG >One day he's teaching us about limits >"This, everyone, is the stick of sex" >We all look up at the stick of sex >"The length of the stick corresponds to how much love you can feel for someone else" >"Each time you have sex with a different person, the amount of love you can feel halfs" >"As you see, even after the second or third partner, your capacity for love is significantly reduced" >"Of course, you never actually lose the capacity to love, it just becomes so small that it's not even noticeable" This lesson has stuck with me for a long time. Not only did he eloquently explain the concept of a limit, but he also btfo every roastie in my class and taught me a valuable life lesson. Thank you based purity-pilled repressed-fomo-fantasies physics teacher.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon can't time travel | /r/Greentext


Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext