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Anon gets visited by his mom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)20:17:09 No.68140959 >mom cleans my room while i'm at work >have panic attack when i get home 106 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)20:19:01 No.68140986 >tfw mom organized the dildos by size 402 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)20:17:09 No.68140959 >mom cleans my room while i'm at work >have panic attack when i get home 106 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)20:19:01 No.68140986 >tfw mom organized the dildos by size 402 KB PNG

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Anon is a fan of superior modes of travel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: cwaL3liK 04/08/22(Fri)12:45:42 No.371739391 >>371738762 (OP) # I've owned a car I don't like cars They're expensive They require me to carry around multiple 127 KB JPG licenses I hate traffic I hate other drivers in general There's never anywhere to park it I have to maintain focus on the road asI drive, I cannot look at my surroundings instead I like trains Train is cheap scenery is nice have a bento and tea on my tray table qt girl who smells good sits next to me and smiles I like trains >>371739648 # >>371743386 # >>371743390 #
: Anonymous (ID: cwaL3liK 04/08/22(Fri)12:45:42 No.371739391 >>371738762 (OP) # I've owned a car I don't like cars They're expensive They require me to carry around multiple 127 KB JPG licenses I hate traffic I hate other drivers in general There's never anywhere to park it I have to maintain focus on the road asI drive, I cannot look at my surroundings instead I like trains Train is cheap scenery is nice have a bento and tea on my tray table qt girl who smells good sits next to me and smiles I like trains >>371739648 # >>371743386 # >>371743390 #

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He is right | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:00 No.53878455 >>53878466 >>53878475 >>53878439 >she if it has a penis it isnt a "she" Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:54 No.53878466 File: 410gxVYu08L. _SX425_jpg (21 KB, 425x408) >>53878515 >>53878455 I'm straight so whatever makes my d--- hard is a woman f----- reddit
Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:00 No.53878455 >>53878466 >>53878475 >>53878439 >she if it has a penis it isnt a "she" Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:54 No.53878466 File: 410gxVYu08L. _SX425_jpg (21 KB, 425x408) >>53878515 >>53878455 I'm straight so whatever makes my d--- hard is a woman f----- reddit

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Anon becomes black. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)16:41:04 No.68143459 >You wake up in this body what do you do? 556 KB PNG Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)16:45:59 No.68143542 >>68143459 (OP). Get shot by the police
Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)16:41:04 No.68143459 >You wake up in this body what do you do? 556 KB PNG Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)16:45:59 No.68143542 >>68143459 (OP). Get shot by the police

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Anon is mentally ill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/27/21(Sat)15:23:53 No.848410707 so i ordered this doll online and put a jessie james fleshlight inside it and i've been f------ it for a couple of weeks mom found it help what do i do she's talking on the phone and crying i'm 28 years old BAR 126 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/27/21(Sat)15:26:32 No.848410832 >>848410707 (OP)# W.. .. why.. did you do that Anon? 29 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/27/21(Sat)15:23:53 No.848410707 so i ordered this doll online and put a jessie james fleshlight inside it and i've been f------ it for a couple of weeks mom found it help what do i do she's talking on the phone and crying i'm 28 years old BAR 126 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/27/21(Sat)15:26:32 No.848410832 >>848410707 (OP)# W.. .. why.. did you do that Anon? 29 KB JPG

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Anon has a question | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/24/18(Sat)16:16:02 No.36925725 Why aren't grenades designed like these anymore? They have some definite advantages over what is commonly used 11 KB JPG today and they seem pretty practical in terms of ergonomics. >Doesn't roll >Can throw further >Can stick into ground if necessary >Can give you pleasure Can anyone explain to me why these are outdated?
Anonymous 02/24/18(Sat)16:16:02 No.36925725 Why aren't grenades designed like these anymore? They have some definite advantages over what is commonly used 11 KB JPG today and they seem pretty practical in terms of ergonomics. >Doesn't roll >Can throw further >Can stick into ground if necessary >Can give you pleasure Can anyone explain to me why these are outdated?

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She'll probably outlive anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)23:44:13 No.3815539 >"king of the jungle" >doesn't actually live in a jungle ??? 253 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)08:40:45 No.3816028 >>3815539 (OP) # >Queen of Australia >Doesn't actually live in Australia 179 KB JPG >>3818624 # >>3818813 #
: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)23:44:13 No.3815539 >"king of the jungle" >doesn't actually live in a jungle ??? 253 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)08:40:45 No.3816028 >>3815539 (OP) # >Queen of Australia >Doesn't actually live in Australia 179 KB JPG >>3818624 # >>3818813 #

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y'all gayAnon is a deep thinker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: DwXx+tM7 07/26/17(Wed)09:05:52 No.135013061 so if trans cant serve in the military and gays can serve in the military trans are not gays 4 KB PNG and if traps are trans then that means traps are not gay : Anonymous (ID: INIEF8AR 07/26/17(Wed)09:11:41 No.135013630 >>135013061 (OP) # >mfw this entire move was orchestrated to allow Trump to f--- traps without feeling gay 156 KB PNG
: Anonymous (ID: DwXx+tM7 07/26/17(Wed)09:05:52 No.135013061 so if trans cant serve in the military and gays can serve in the military trans are not gays 4 KB PNG and if traps are trans then that means traps are not gay : Anonymous (ID: INIEF8AR 07/26/17(Wed)09:11:41 No.135013630 >>135013061 (OP) # >mfw this entire move was orchestrated to allow Trump to f--- traps without feeling gay 156 KB PNG

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Anon is a zoomer. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)12:57:21 No.68140709 >his drip be bussin I finna be like sheesh no cap on god bet it really hit different frfr no cap 48 KB JPG
Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)12:57:21 No.68140709 >his drip be bussin I finna be like sheesh no cap on god bet it really hit different frfr no cap 48 KB JPG

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Anon has a bad dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/30/18(Thu)00:18:25 No.778520043 >Attempt suicide with Helium gas >Dad busts in; removes mask >"Son, why?!" >Reply in chipmunk voice >"LIFE IS PAIN" >he starts laughing 148 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/30/18(Thu)00:18:25 No.778520043 >Attempt suicide with Helium gas >Dad busts in; removes mask >"Son, why?!" >Reply in chipmunk voice >"LIFE IS PAIN" >he starts laughing 148 KB JPG

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Anon meets Gene | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)08:36:50 No.875971279 >be me >end up at gas station in b------ nowhere while traveling through the Midwest >ugliest man I've ever seen approaches my car >starts asking me questions >where am I going, what do I do 1.35 MB GIF for work etc >talk to him for a bit a see a retarded man running out one door and into another >he's fat and balding and has food stains all down his shirt >the man yells "Goddammit Gene I told you not go go in there" >hear a bunch of s--- breaking in the door retard went into >fat lady the size of my car comes waddling out with a stick >chases Gene out >Gene is now naked >Gene sees me and cannot comprehend his excitement to f--- up my day >starts moaning while bolting straight for me >l am in absolute disbelief and freeze because I'm trying to process this >l grab a windshield squeegee to hit him with >Gene spooks and runs off into the sunset >guy and lady get in truck to go after him >They don't come back >go inside and help myself to a bag of jerky and an Arizona tea and get in my car >cop pulls up and says "is it Gene again?" >l say yeah >cops radios "It's Gene" >takes off full speed already knowing which direction to go >how many times has this happened
: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)08:36:50 No.875971279 >be me >end up at gas station in b------ nowhere while traveling through the Midwest >ugliest man I've ever seen approaches my car >starts asking me questions >where am I going, what do I do 1.35 MB GIF for work etc >talk to him for a bit a see a retarded man running out one door and into another >he's fat and balding and has food stains all down his shirt >the man yells "Goddammit Gene I told you not go go in there" >hear a bunch of s--- breaking in the door retard went into >fat lady the size of my car comes waddling out with a stick >chases Gene out >Gene is now naked >Gene sees me and cannot comprehend his excitement to f--- up my day >starts moaning while bolting straight for me >l am in absolute disbelief and freeze because I'm trying to process this >l grab a windshield squeegee to hit him with >Gene spooks and runs off into the sunset >guy and lady get in truck to go after him >They don't come back >go inside and help myself to a bag of jerky and an Arizona tea and get in my car >cop pulls up and says "is it Gene again?" >l say yeah >cops radios "It's Gene" >takes off full speed already knowing which direction to go >how many times has this happened

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Anon is a hero | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: +THQPKC6) F--- women 03/19/19(Tue)17:48:03 No.13062252 >walking home >guy kicking gf, screaming >intervene, guy pulls knife >legit seething by this point, pick up a brick and threaten to kill him >runs towards me, trips a few metres away, still swirling knife 177 KB PNG around and catching legs >Slam brick into head, instead death, call police and explain situation >Femoid says I attacked her and bf tried to protect her >Could well have have been found guilty of murder but guy was caught on dash cam and femoid who isn't a psychotic pos told the truth >post tuxedo Pepe on 4chan like l'm smug about it while still cry about the incident 3 months later
: Anonymous (ID: +THQPKC6) F--- women 03/19/19(Tue)17:48:03 No.13062252 >walking home >guy kicking gf, screaming >intervene, guy pulls knife >legit seething by this point, pick up a brick and threaten to kill him >runs towards me, trips a few metres away, still swirling knife 177 KB PNG around and catching legs >Slam brick into head, instead death, call police and explain situation >Femoid says I attacked her and bf tried to protect her >Could well have have been found guilty of murder but guy was caught on dash cam and femoid who isn't a psychotic pos told the truth >post tuxedo Pepe on 4chan like l'm smug about it while still cry about the incident 3 months later

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Anon finds a Mormon | /r/Greentext

What is the worst thing you have ever done, anons? I like how this channel is the epitome of listening tu few sentences of people saying stuff and then going on unhinged rants extrapolated from nothing This guy is clearly very mascuine and alpha and cool Very smart guy Tataly not intecure at all. Show less BEPLY Highightit O Think Before Toe Sleep 1 hour ag Thanks You're right. I am the most alpha out of ll of the creators on this platform. >be me REPLY >on this board in 2015 >f------ loser in the military >hate myself 111 KB PNG >i find this c------- online >do research, digging around >eventually find out her actual identity >find out she is a mormon >find the facebooks of her entire family >pictures of her in subdresses on church steps >proceed to forward countless pictures and videos of her getting f----- by different men, of her fingering herself, etc to her entire extended family >after a day all of her various social medias are taken down I assumed her family rejected her after that.
What is the worst thing you have ever done, anons? I like how this channel is the epitome of listening tu few sentences of people saying stuff and then going on unhinged rants extrapolated from nothing This guy is clearly very mascuine and alpha and cool Very smart guy Tataly not intecure at all. Show less BEPLY Highightit O Think Before Toe Sleep 1 hour ag Thanks You're right. I am the most alpha out of ll of the creators on this platform. >be me REPLY >on this board in 2015 >f------ loser in the military >hate myself 111 KB PNG >i find this c------- online >do research, digging around >eventually find out her actual identity >find out she is a mormon >find the facebooks of her entire family >pictures of her in subdresses on church steps >proceed to forward countless pictures and videos of her getting f----- by different men, of her fingering herself, etc to her entire extended family >after a day all of her various social medias are taken down I assumed her family rejected her after that.

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Anon needs advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous unemployed and about to be kic(...) 04/09/22(Sat)15:08:50 No.68137837 >be me >22 >Still living with parents in bongland >had good job before Corona >Got let go 95 KB JPG >Parents moved to a small town >Got a job for an extremely dodgy security company >Quit because of many issues: company owner was a------/ his wife is in charge of payroll and refused to pay me correct amount several times/ tried to make me sign contracts for training I never received/ supplied me with 7 month expired fire extinguisher and didn't even supply a medkit (they still never actually gave me any formal training to do the job) >Been unemployed 2 months >Stepdad p----- >No jobs in my small ass town >Sets me an interview for security job 40 miles away that pays minimum wage >Tell him that what I would take home would barely cover fuel cost >Gets more p----- and threatens to kick me out unless I find a job soon What the f--- do I do
: Anonymous unemployed and about to be kic(...) 04/09/22(Sat)15:08:50 No.68137837 >be me >22 >Still living with parents in bongland >had good job before Corona >Got let go 95 KB JPG >Parents moved to a small town >Got a job for an extremely dodgy security company >Quit because of many issues: company owner was a------/ his wife is in charge of payroll and refused to pay me correct amount several times/ tried to make me sign contracts for training I never received/ supplied me with 7 month expired fire extinguisher and didn't even supply a medkit (they still never actually gave me any formal training to do the job) >Been unemployed 2 months >Stepdad p----- >No jobs in my small ass town >Sets me an interview for security job 40 miles away that pays minimum wage >Tell him that what I would take home would barely cover fuel cost >Gets more p----- and threatens to kick me out unless I find a job soon What the f--- do I do

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Anon vs. Boomers | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)23:56:20 No.875927078 >be me, 28, start a new job in a small delivery office >I'm the youngest guy there, working with a bunch of boomer men >whatever they're talking about, they get competitive about it >if one of them has a sore back then everyone else has to start one-upping about how their back is way worse >listen in on the coffee break banter, competition of today is who has the worst wife and worst marriage "What about you anon, any special lady in your life huh?" >I could turn this opportunity down, shrug and say no, but decide not to "I'm actually getting married next spring. Best woman I've ever met, she's had my back through some really bad times, and I'm gonna make sure we'll have good times too." >show them her picture, she's a f------ dime on atop of everything >go through a whole laundry list of all the ways she's none of the things they all just lamented all their wives are "Well she'll get bitter eventually." "Nah I won't let her. If she's mad we'll talk about it, if she's got a point we'll do something about it, and if she was mad for no reason she'll see that. She's great like that, best woman I've met, and that's why I'm marrying her." >the dudes listen without commenting because they can't one-up me on this one >go on for a few more minutes about all the ways how awesome she is, examples come easy because they're true >go on a f------ lecture about how much I love the love of my life and all the reasons why I love her >listing all the ways our relationship is great, including all the way it's the opposite of all the stuff they just complained about >go on for exactly as long as I think I can possibly annoy them, and then 0.1 seconds longer >once I'm finished one of them just nods "Alright then. Guess we'll see how that works out for you." >Silence lingers for like a whole minute until they can think of something new to complain and one-up each other about >mfw I started the Best F------ Wife competition and f------ won
O Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)23:56:20 No.875927078 >be me, 28, start a new job in a small delivery office >I'm the youngest guy there, working with a bunch of boomer men >whatever they're talking about, they get competitive about it >if one of them has a sore back then everyone else has to start one-upping about how their back is way worse >listen in on the coffee break banter, competition of today is who has the worst wife and worst marriage "What about you anon, any special lady in your life huh?" >I could turn this opportunity down, shrug and say no, but decide not to "I'm actually getting married next spring. Best woman I've ever met, she's had my back through some really bad times, and I'm gonna make sure we'll have good times too." >show them her picture, she's a f------ dime on atop of everything >go through a whole laundry list of all the ways she's none of the things they all just lamented all their wives are "Well she'll get bitter eventually." "Nah I won't let her. If she's mad we'll talk about it, if she's got a point we'll do something about it, and if she was mad for no reason she'll see that. She's great like that, best woman I've met, and that's why I'm marrying her." >the dudes listen without commenting because they can't one-up me on this one >go on for a few more minutes about all the ways how awesome she is, examples come easy because they're true >go on a f------ lecture about how much I love the love of my life and all the reasons why I love her >listing all the ways our relationship is great, including all the way it's the opposite of all the stuff they just complained about >go on for exactly as long as I think I can possibly annoy them, and then 0.1 seconds longer >once I'm finished one of them just nods "Alright then. Guess we'll see how that works out for you." >Silence lingers for like a whole minute until they can think of something new to complain and one-up each other about >mfw I started the Best F------ Wife competition and f------ won

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We do a little trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)16:52:46 No.63881475 > be me > go on omegle because i have no friends > start political arguments with рeople 81 KB PNG > 5 minutes in >i disconnect when they are half way through typing a response Top kek : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)16:55:10 No.63881497 >>63881475 (OP) # Extremely based Кeep it up OP 48 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)16:52:46 No.63881475 > be me > go on omegle because i have no friends > start political arguments with рeople 81 KB PNG > 5 minutes in >i disconnect when they are half way through typing a response Top kek : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)16:55:10 No.63881497 >>63881475 (OP) # Extremely based Кeep it up OP 48 KB JPG

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He might be somewhere doing well or somewhere else underground | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/19(Tue)09:02:28 No.790057917 >be me >8 y/o >on bus home >really damn hungry >see much older kid (15) behind me open his hot dog >always been scared of older kids >hunger.mpg is using too much maybe the real rare Depes were the Inends we found along the way 12 KB JPG memory >"hey, can I please have a small bite?" >he turns to face me >doesn't utter a word, just smiles and hands me the whole hotdog >i grab it and sit back in my seat >happiest little f--- in the bus >22 now and I still regret not thanking that blessed soul Wherever you are, I hope you have a happy life my bro.
: Anonymous 01/15/19(Tue)09:02:28 No.790057917 >be me >8 y/o >on bus home >really damn hungry >see much older kid (15) behind me open his hot dog >always been scared of older kids >hunger.mpg is using too much maybe the real rare Depes were the Inends we found along the way 12 KB JPG memory >"hey, can I please have a small bite?" >he turns to face me >doesn't utter a word, just smiles and hands me the whole hotdog >i grab it and sit back in my seat >happiest little f--- in the bus >22 now and I still regret not thanking that blessed soul Wherever you are, I hope you have a happy life my bro.

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Anon hates women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I hate women 02/11/22(Fri)17:29:17 No.67388393 >older sister calls me >older sister constantly cries about being f----- and dumped by chads on dating apps >younger sister calls me >younger sister constantly vents to me about boys she has a crush on >mom calls me >mom constantly cries to me about my dad >when I tell them "you are being annoying" they start crying harder and blaming me for being a horrible person 115 KB JPG >suddenly I am the bad guy >dad calls me >dad is the only one that asks me how I am doing
: Anonymous I hate women 02/11/22(Fri)17:29:17 No.67388393 >older sister calls me >older sister constantly cries about being f----- and dumped by chads on dating apps >younger sister calls me >younger sister constantly vents to me about boys she has a crush on >mom calls me >mom constantly cries to me about my dad >when I tell them "you are being annoying" they start crying harder and blaming me for being a horrible person 115 KB JPG >suddenly I am the bad guy >dad calls me >dad is the only one that asks me how I am doing

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Anon goes on Omegle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)09:28:49 No.875956323 >be me >last night >bored at 12am so go on omegle biggest mistake ever >add some tags for games i like, add the Igbtq tag with intention of doing a little trolling >takes five minutes before i get sent an 58 KB PNG imgur link >literal cp >shut down my computer and disconnect my internet >go to sleep crying about whatever is wrong with this world am i gonna go to jail /b/?
: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)09:28:49 No.875956323 >be me >last night >bored at 12am so go on omegle biggest mistake ever >add some tags for games i like, add the Igbtq tag with intention of doing a little trolling >takes five minutes before i get sent an 58 KB PNG imgur link >literal cp >shut down my computer and disconnect my internet >go to sleep crying about whatever is wrong with this world am i gonna go to jail /b/?

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Anon thinks he is worth smth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I deserve a gf 11/27/18(Tue)04:35:35 No.49522816 >l'm white >l'm young >l'm physically healthy >l'm not a manlet(over 6'0" / 183cm) >My peepee is 7x5in / 18x13cm >l have a strong sense of morality 120 KB JPG >l have a strong sense of honor >I have a favourable personality >l've been told I am handsome >l can protect my wife and offspring from predators >l can provide resources and coverture for my wife and children >l am good with children and would make a good father >I can cook >l'm a strong swimmer >l have good taste in anime I deserve a gf : Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)07:56:21 No.49524715 >>49522816 (OP) # >l have good taste in anime. Thats how you dry up their p---- like a desert you autist.
: Anonymous I deserve a gf 11/27/18(Tue)04:35:35 No.49522816 >l'm white >l'm young >l'm physically healthy >l'm not a manlet(over 6'0" / 183cm) >My peepee is 7x5in / 18x13cm >l have a strong sense of morality 120 KB JPG >l have a strong sense of honor >I have a favourable personality >l've been told I am handsome >l can protect my wife and offspring from predators >l can provide resources and coverture for my wife and children >l am good with children and would make a good father >I can cook >l'm a strong swimmer >l have good taste in anime I deserve a gf : Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)07:56:21 No.49524715 >>49522816 (OP) # >l have good taste in anime. Thats how you dry up their p---- like a desert you autist.

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