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Anon is a Arizona ranger | /r/Greentext

>be me >arizona ranger >chief tells me to go some s------- town to get a guy called Texas Red >f-----.png >have heard from the guy before, he killed at least 20 men 16 KB JPG >s--- my pants twice on the way there >get there >the townsfolk keep looking at me weird >they keep looking at my huge revolver thats obviously not overcompensating for anything >try to do something and announce that im here to get Texas Red >i hear them laughing behind my back >finally the man appears >what the f--- he's like barely 24, but he dosent look worried at all >he challenges me to a duel >i feel s--- running down my leg >the time comes >townsfolk assume im already dead >fire early out of pure fear >h-------- he's dead >the whole town is looking at me >i just ride out of there drowning in shame >mfw years later some f----- makes a song about it >mfw im a hero >mfw they will never know
>be me >arizona ranger >chief tells me to go some s------- town to get a guy called Texas Red >f-----.png >have heard from the guy before, he killed at least 20 men 16 KB JPG >s--- my pants twice on the way there >get there >the townsfolk keep looking at me weird >they keep looking at my huge revolver thats obviously not overcompensating for anything >try to do something and announce that im here to get Texas Red >i hear them laughing behind my back >finally the man appears >what the f--- he's like barely 24, but he dosent look worried at all >he challenges me to a duel >i feel s--- running down my leg >the time comes >townsfolk assume im already dead >fire early out of pure fear >h-------- he's dead >the whole town is looking at me >i just ride out of there drowning in shame >mfw years later some f----- makes a song about it >mfw im a hero >mfw they will never know

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Anon copes with his loss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/22(Fri)13:12:55 No.65711497 >>65711465 # >you will never princess carry a tomboy while she lightly punches you in the shoulders and calls you lame >you will never be hanging out with a tomboy when a storm hits and find out she's cripplingly terrified of 557 KB JPG thunder >you will never get /fit/ with a tomboy will never go to the track meet/swim >you meet/softball game/football game/judo match of your tomboy gf and cheer her on as she kicks everyone's ass, then have her run into the stands to hug you after she wins and tell you she knew she had to do her best when she saw you in the stands >you will never help a tomboy study for her big test so she gets a good enough grade to stay on the team >a tomboy will never attempt to cook for you and f--- it all up becaue she's never cooked in her life but you eat it anyways just to see her smile >you will never coerce a tomboy into wearing a frilly, girly dress and watch as she squirms around all self- conscious and shy >>65711591 # >>65711837 # >>65711874 # >>65712178 #
: Anonymous 02/25/22(Fri)13:12:55 No.65711497 >>65711465 # >you will never princess carry a tomboy while she lightly punches you in the shoulders and calls you lame >you will never be hanging out with a tomboy when a storm hits and find out she's cripplingly terrified of 557 KB JPG thunder >you will never get /fit/ with a tomboy will never go to the track meet/swim >you meet/softball game/football game/judo match of your tomboy gf and cheer her on as she kicks everyone's ass, then have her run into the stands to hug you after she wins and tell you she knew she had to do her best when she saw you in the stands >you will never help a tomboy study for her big test so she gets a good enough grade to stay on the team >a tomboy will never attempt to cook for you and f--- it all up becaue she's never cooked in her life but you eat it anyways just to see her smile >you will never coerce a tomboy into wearing a frilly, girly dress and watch as she squirms around all self- conscious and shy >>65711591 # >>65711837 # >>65711874 # >>65712178 #

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anon is DEPRESSED | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 769156213 2 hr ago >Depressed teen >Tell parents >They somehow think f----- 13 reasons why is the source of my depression and i shouldn't watch the Why noald deal gied lie! ANETFLIX OINAL SERIES second season B REASONS WHY >F----- lul >l try to tell them that its good because it opens up conversation about important issues >They just shout at me, disregarding my opinions, as per 6.7 kB JPG >wat do 19 REPLIES 8 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 769156270 2 hr ago >>769156213 (OP) kill urself to prove them wrong lol
Anonymous | 769156213 2 hr ago >Depressed teen >Tell parents >They somehow think f----- 13 reasons why is the source of my depression and i shouldn't watch the Why noald deal gied lie! ANETFLIX OINAL SERIES second season B REASONS WHY >F----- lul >l try to tell them that its good because it opens up conversation about important issues >They just shout at me, disregarding my opinions, as per 6.7 kB JPG >wat do 19 REPLIES 8 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 769156270 2 hr ago >>769156213 (OP) kill urself to prove them wrong lol

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Anon ask other anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: hmp6hQ1D ) 03/29/22(Tue)21:27:16 No.47620448 >anon, you know so much about finance and have so much money. How come you don't have a girlfriend yet? what's the correct rebuttle here 210 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: goYmHx5d ) 03/29/22(Tue)21:29:41 No.47620508 >>47620448 (OP) Because women are a net negative on finance 99.99% of the time, retard.
Anonymous (ID: hmp6hQ1D ) 03/29/22(Tue)21:27:16 No.47620448 >anon, you know so much about finance and have so much money. How come you don't have a girlfriend yet? what's the correct rebuttle here 210 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: goYmHx5d ) 03/29/22(Tue)21:29:41 No.47620508 >>47620448 (OP) Because women are a net negative on finance 99.99% of the time, retard.

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Anon gets a bonsai tree | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Meme by anon | /r/Greentext


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Anon thinks he's a calculator | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)10:28:35 No.67997047 >be me, 26 year old >not a single social skill in my brain >but I can do math like it's my job >numbers just make sense in my head >l still text with a random kid from school 374 KB JPG >he's retarded >l'm pretty sure I am too >he sends me random life event texts every day >s--- like "I'm late for swim class cuz I can't find my fins" >l'm a good friend so I do the math for him >reply "you have two feet so you need to find two fins" >another day, another equation solved So do any of you help your friend with your math brain? Or is there any math can do for you?
: Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)10:28:35 No.67997047 >be me, 26 year old >not a single social skill in my brain >but I can do math like it's my job >numbers just make sense in my head >l still text with a random kid from school 374 KB JPG >he's retarded >l'm pretty sure I am too >he sends me random life event texts every day >s--- like "I'm late for swim class cuz I can't find my fins" >l'm a good friend so I do the math for him >reply "you have two feet so you need to find two fins" >another day, another equation solved So do any of you help your friend with your math brain? Or is there any math can do for you?

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Anon talks about a subreddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 8juV2Fgl Reddit actually did something ...) 03/29/22(Tue)22:26:53 No.370093301 >be me >r/GenZedong >infested with Communist zoomers and Chinese Nationalists >go on and on about how Communism is so great and how they think the whole world should 60 KB JPG embrace Marxism, and how they want Mr. Xi to rail them in the ass >regularly deny atrocities that occurred under Communist regimes, and use whataboutism about all of the bad stuff the USA did >say that the Uyghurs are all terrorists funded by the CIA, and that they'd throw firecrackers at them if they saw one of them on the street >go to other subs and spread their Communist propaganda to every orifice of Reddit >permaban anyone who says anything remotely bad about the CCP 2022 Russian Invasion of Ukraine happens >the whole sub praises Russia for fighting American imperialism in Ukraine >Reddit admins decide to quarantine the sub because their members are s-------- >all of the r/GenZedong users bitch about Reddit not supporting freedom of speech and being controlled by dirty capitalist bourgeoisie Rest in piss r/GenZedong. You always sucked
: Anonymous (ID: 8juV2Fgl Reddit actually did something ...) 03/29/22(Tue)22:26:53 No.370093301 >be me >r/GenZedong >infested with Communist zoomers and Chinese Nationalists >go on and on about how Communism is so great and how they think the whole world should 60 KB JPG embrace Marxism, and how they want Mr. Xi to rail them in the ass >regularly deny atrocities that occurred under Communist regimes, and use whataboutism about all of the bad stuff the USA did >say that the Uyghurs are all terrorists funded by the CIA, and that they'd throw firecrackers at them if they saw one of them on the street >go to other subs and spread their Communist propaganda to every orifice of Reddit >permaban anyone who says anything remotely bad about the CCP 2022 Russian Invasion of Ukraine happens >the whole sub praises Russia for fighting American imperialism in Ukraine >Reddit admins decide to quarantine the sub because their members are s-------- >all of the r/GenZedong users bitch about Reddit not supporting freedom of speech and being controlled by dirty capitalist bourgeoisie Rest in piss r/GenZedong. You always sucked

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Anon posts his number on | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 09/06/16(Tue)00:35:04 No.702755839 >three years ago >really drunk >post my number on 4chan asking someone to call me and tell me a story til i fall asleep >this bald m------------ right here calls me. 234 KB JPG >tells me a story about a bear who switches places with a human for a day >many keks til i fall asleep >becomes a weekly ritual >time goes on and its less stories and more general conversation >three years later hes getting married >asks me to be the best man in his wedding >whythefucknot.jpg >fly up the coast to stay at his house for the weekend >friends and family all know "of' me so its kinda weird >but everyones really f------ chill especially his friends probably one of the best weekends of my life, all thanks to /b/. and to thinki was gonna axe murder him.
| Anonymous 09/06/16(Tue)00:35:04 No.702755839 >three years ago >really drunk >post my number on 4chan asking someone to call me and tell me a story til i fall asleep >this bald m------------ right here calls me. 234 KB JPG >tells me a story about a bear who switches places with a human for a day >many keks til i fall asleep >becomes a weekly ritual >time goes on and its less stories and more general conversation >three years later hes getting married >asks me to be the best man in his wedding >whythefucknot.jpg >fly up the coast to stay at his house for the weekend >friends and family all know "of' me so its kinda weird >but everyones really f------ chill especially his friends probably one of the best weekends of my life, all thanks to /b/. and to thinki was gonna axe murder him.

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Anon listens to another radio | /r/Greentext


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Anon hates us | /r/Greentext


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anon plays vr chat | /r/Greentext


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Anon needs Jesus, but is out of luck. | /r/Greentext


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OP ain't gonna let em get them | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 17 minutes ago 790233664 : C'mon anons, let us share the stories of losing virginities. 'll start. >l didn't 3 REPLIES
Anonymous 17 minutes ago 790233664 : C'mon anons, let us share the stories of losing virginities. 'll start. >l didn't 3 REPLIES

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Anon runs an e-commerce site | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)09:27:36 No.86270003 >run e-comnmerce site >Gender: [Male, Female, Other] at sign-up form >add unnecessary one week shipping delay for "Other" costumers 11 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)09:27:36 No.86270003 >run e-comnmerce site >Gender: [Male, Female, Other] at sign-up form >add unnecessary one week shipping delay for "Other" costumers 11 KB JPG

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Anon plays scrabble | /r/Greentext


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F for anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)11:06:01 No.794216180 Let's write a story one line at a time, I'll start >be me 35 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)11:06:39 No.794216218 >be f----- : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)11:07:02 No.794216236 -The end
: Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)11:06:01 No.794216180 Let's write a story one line at a time, I'll start >be me 35 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)11:06:39 No.794216218 >be f----- : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)11:07:02 No.794216236 -The end

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Anon is relieved. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)06:47:32 No.67995056 Daily reminder that if you don't look ANYTHING like this guy, aren't ATLEAST 6'5"ft+ tall and don't have a 10" inch+ penis OR don't make 7- figures USD annually, you will NEVER get laid without an escort in 2021. Prove me wrong, you stupid f------ f------. 91 KB JPG >protip; you LITERALLY can't. Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)06:50:46 No.67995077 >>67995056 (OP) >2021 Oh good, had me worried for a second there, lad.
Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)06:47:32 No.67995056 Daily reminder that if you don't look ANYTHING like this guy, aren't ATLEAST 6'5"ft+ tall and don't have a 10" inch+ penis OR don't make 7- figures USD annually, you will NEVER get laid without an escort in 2021. Prove me wrong, you stupid f------ f------. 91 KB JPG >protip; you LITERALLY can't. Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)06:50:46 No.67995077 >>67995056 (OP) >2021 Oh good, had me worried for a second there, lad.

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Anon Starts World War Crow

File: 1386662233025.jpg-(11 KB, 247x204, crow.jpg) as O Anonymous 12/10/13(Tue)02:57:13 UTC-5 No.520558752 9 So /b/ I've been having fun over the past few weeks and figured I'd share. > Where I work there are thousands of crows that show up every single night. > They hang around for like 4 hours at night, then take off, and show up the next night. > Was reading up on crows because f--- it, interested. > Apparently they're smart as s---. > They recognize faces, and can form preferences in people depending on how they're treated. > A wild idea appears. >I start trying to piss off this group of crows that hang out in the trees near work. > I throw rocks at them, and shake the tree and chase them whenever I can. > Meanwhile, the grass crows across the street, just chill by the mcdicks. > Every time I go to mcd's, I get extra large fries, and feed the grass crows. > They start to like me, while the tree crows hate my s---. > Tree crows throw nuts and try to s--- on me all the time (i dodge bird s--- like I dodge wrenches now) > Grass crows still super bros, and now try to follow me when I walk into mcd's. >I keep this up for a few more weeks, and I'm noticing a bigger divide in the crows. > Grass crows now follow me across the road to make sure I get back to work safe. > Tree crows getting more aggressive and sit on my building and wait for me to walk out. > Ive created a great war between two formerly friendly nations. > World War Crow commences. >I am fueling it with french fries. Anonymous 12/10/13(Tue)02:58:03 UTC-5 No.520558845 Replies: >>520559326 > Both nations now jockeying for position near my work. > Grass crows try to defend me as the Tree crows fly over me and throw nuts and rocks at me. > After a few days of tense defense/offense, all goes calm. >l expect the usual squawking and flapping as I walk out, but there's nothing. >I walk out from the covered entry way and look up. > All across the trees surrounding my building are crows. More than there have ever been before. > I recognize one of the grass bros in the tree closest to me. (Called him Reggie. Always gave him the warm fries) >I hear one squawk as one of the tree bros flies out and drops a rock on my shoulder. > All hell breaks loose. > Crows flying all across the sky, and I can hardly see through the clown. > No wonder they call it a murder (huehue) Anonymous 12/10/13(Tue)02:59:05 UTC-5 No.520558960 9 >I sit and watch as literally 1000-2000 crows charge at each other. > Bloodied bird carcasses falling left and right. > Sit in awe of what I've created. > Nearly an hour passes and the cloud thins. > Only grassbros left. > Reggie flies down to the ground and lands beside me. > Has big scar across left eye. Gives no f----. >I stand, and all the grassbros look up to me. >I march across the street, and into mcd's, leaving the door open for all the crows to follow. > Cashiers face. >I order 12 XL french fries, and celebrate my grand victory with the grassbros.
File: 1386662233025.jpg-(11 KB, 247x204, crow.jpg) as O Anonymous 12/10/13(Tue)02:57:13 UTC-5 No.520558752 9 So /b/ I've been having fun over the past few weeks and figured I'd share. > Where I work there are thousands of crows that show up every single night. > They hang around for like 4 hours at night, then take off, and show up the next night. > Was reading up on crows because f--- it, interested. > Apparently they're smart as s---. > They recognize faces, and can form preferences in people depending on how they're treated. > A wild idea appears. >I start trying to piss off this group of crows that hang out in the trees near work. > I throw rocks at them, and shake the tree and chase them whenever I can. > Meanwhile, the grass crows across the street, just chill by the mcdicks. > Every time I go to mcd's, I get extra large fries, and feed the grass crows. > They start to like me, while the tree crows hate my s---. > Tree crows throw nuts and try to s--- on me all the time (i dodge bird s--- like I dodge wrenches now) > Grass crows still super bros, and now try to follow me when I walk into mcd's. >I keep this up for a few more weeks, and I'm noticing a bigger divide in the crows. > Grass crows now follow me across the road to make sure I get back to work safe. > Tree crows getting more aggressive and sit on my building and wait for me to walk out. > Ive created a great war between two formerly friendly nations. > World War Crow commences. >I am fueling it with french fries. Anonymous 12/10/13(Tue)02:58:03 UTC-5 No.520558845 Replies: >>520559326 > Both nations now jockeying for position near my work. > Grass crows try to defend me as the Tree crows fly over me and throw nuts and rocks at me. > After a few days of tense defense/offense, all goes calm. >l expect the usual squawking and flapping as I walk out, but there's nothing. >I walk out from the covered entry way and look up. > All across the trees surrounding my building are crows. More than there have ever been before. > I recognize one of the grass bros in the tree closest to me. (Called him Reggie. Always gave him the warm fries) >I hear one squawk as one of the tree bros flies out and drops a rock on my shoulder. > All hell breaks loose. > Crows flying all across the sky, and I can hardly see through the clown. > No wonder they call it a murder (huehue) Anonymous 12/10/13(Tue)02:59:05 UTC-5 No.520558960 9 >I sit and watch as literally 1000-2000 crows charge at each other. > Bloodied bird carcasses falling left and right. > Sit in awe of what I've created. > Nearly an hour passes and the cloud thins. > Only grassbros left. > Reggie flies down to the ground and lands beside me. > Has big scar across left eye. Gives no f----. >I stand, and all the grassbros look up to me. >I march across the street, and into mcd's, leaving the door open for all the crows to follow. > Cashiers face. >I order 12 XL french fries, and celebrate my grand victory with the grassbros.

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Anon and death | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 04/05/19(Fri)20:49:13 No.51799562 What happens when we die, seriously? 85 Replies / 15 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)11:36:52 No.51807552 : Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)11:38:20 No.51807568 >>51799562 (OP) # You literally cannot die from your point of view. Ever had that moments when you could almost die from a simple mistake, but survived? Like, hit by a car if moved a little bit faster? Well, you actually died for everyone but you, because your conscious moved to the alternate universe where you didn't die, nobody knows how long you can live because 36 KB JPG nobody ever really died.
| Anonymous 04/05/19(Fri)20:49:13 No.51799562 What happens when we die, seriously? 85 Replies / 15 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)11:36:52 No.51807552 : Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)11:38:20 No.51807568 >>51799562 (OP) # You literally cannot die from your point of view. Ever had that moments when you could almost die from a simple mistake, but survived? Like, hit by a car if moved a little bit faster? Well, you actually died for everyone but you, because your conscious moved to the alternate universe where you didn't die, nobody knows how long you can live because 36 KB JPG nobody ever really died.

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