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Anon is a Satanist | /r/Greentext

File: 1331529826.jpg-(36 KB, 400x393) Anonymous (ID: CKYX441G) 03/12/12(Mon)01:23:46 No.386385757 [Reply] Ask a Satanist anything. Anonymous (ID: yulJ/kXY) 03/12/12(Mon)01:25:35 No.386386057 How's the 8th grade going?
File: 1331529826.jpg-(36 KB, 400x393) Anonymous (ID: CKYX441G) 03/12/12(Mon)01:23:46 No.386385757 [Reply] Ask a Satanist anything. Anonymous (ID: yulJ/kXY) 03/12/12(Mon)01:25:35 No.386386057 How's the 8th grade going?

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

Board Ir9k/ - ROBOT9001 Settings Mobile Home File: 1619887041098.png (226 KB, 394x397) Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)09:05:21 No.67711014 [Reply] >>67711599 >have a dream >walking down the street >see a beautiful girl >approach her and say 'hi' >we talk a bit,l tell her my name and last name like James Bond would >she tells me hers >tell her where I work, how much I make >Anon, I like when I am being chased >pull her closer and tell her 'run' >she runs away >I follow her >she runs into her backyard >her mom comes out >'I think you should leave' >tell her I don't know what she is talking about but leave nonetheless >next day at work (still a dream) >colleague tells me that there have been multiple reports on our employees and one of them on me >read the header >recognize the surname >it is her mom >letter proceeds to describe how I sexually assaulted her daughter and how I bring shame to my company and there is a report to police >get suspended until further notice Bros, I suck even in my own dreams >> Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)09:49:37 No.67711323 >>67711421 Once a loser always a loser
Board Ir9k/ - ROBOT9001 Settings Mobile Home File: 1619887041098.png (226 KB, 394x397) Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)09:05:21 No.67711014 [Reply] >>67711599 >have a dream >walking down the street >see a beautiful girl >approach her and say 'hi' >we talk a bit,l tell her my name and last name like James Bond would >she tells me hers >tell her where I work, how much I make >Anon, I like when I am being chased >pull her closer and tell her 'run' >she runs away >I follow her >she runs into her backyard >her mom comes out >'I think you should leave' >tell her I don't know what she is talking about but leave nonetheless >next day at work (still a dream) >colleague tells me that there have been multiple reports on our employees and one of them on me >read the header >recognize the surname >it is her mom >letter proceeds to describe how I sexually assaulted her daughter and how I bring shame to my company and there is a report to police >get suspended until further notice Bros, I suck even in my own dreams >> Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)09:49:37 No.67711323 >>67711421 Once a loser always a loser

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Anon's ex girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/28/20(Sat)01:40:34 No.61119312 R---- by girlfriend >get drunk and have sex with girl 2 years ago >that girl eventually becomes my girlfriend >yesterday at a family gathering she says "I actually had to get anon drunk to loosen him up a 141 KB JPG little and make it official" >everyone laughs >it all makes sense now >that day I was really drunk and she was sober >kept handing me drinks and eventually took me to her car and started blowing me I don't mind, honestly, but the fact that everyone laughed it's scary, the double standard. Can you imagine if I would've said that? "Yeah I got her drunk then took her back to my car to f---" CAN YOU IMAGINE? I would've been lynched in the spot. Girls are such hypocrites. My sisters laughed, my female cousins laughed, they said "Yeah anon was too shy, he needed a woman to smack some sense into him" What the f--- is wrong with these w-----, h--------
: Anonymous 11/28/20(Sat)01:40:34 No.61119312 R---- by girlfriend >get drunk and have sex with girl 2 years ago >that girl eventually becomes my girlfriend >yesterday at a family gathering she says "I actually had to get anon drunk to loosen him up a 141 KB JPG little and make it official" >everyone laughs >it all makes sense now >that day I was really drunk and she was sober >kept handing me drinks and eventually took me to her car and started blowing me I don't mind, honestly, but the fact that everyone laughed it's scary, the double standard. Can you imagine if I would've said that? "Yeah I got her drunk then took her back to my car to f---" CAN YOU IMAGINE? I would've been lynched in the spot. Girls are such hypocrites. My sisters laughed, my female cousins laughed, they said "Yeah anon was too shy, he needed a woman to smack some sense into him" What the f--- is wrong with these w-----, h--------

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anon has an idol | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)20:53:26 No.67713514 >be in high school >be in "who's your idol?" class activity >"who is your idol anon?" >"Hatsune Miku" >"whoa anon are you weeb?"-some chads behind chuckle 10 KB JPG >teacher turns to class thot >"who is your idol Anette?" >"Ching Bling Ping Pong" or something related to K- pop >all of girls in class start howling like a pack of wolf why do I even live? 10 Replies / 6 Images View Thread : Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)21:01:12 No.67713589 augusto-pinochet-hero.jpg 88 KB JPG >>67713514 (OP) # >whos your idol >Augusto Pinochet
: Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)20:53:26 No.67713514 >be in high school >be in "who's your idol?" class activity >"who is your idol anon?" >"Hatsune Miku" >"whoa anon are you weeb?"-some chads behind chuckle 10 KB JPG >teacher turns to class thot >"who is your idol Anette?" >"Ching Bling Ping Pong" or something related to K- pop >all of girls in class start howling like a pack of wolf why do I even live? 10 Replies / 6 Images View Thread : Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)21:01:12 No.67713589 augusto-pinochet-hero.jpg 88 KB JPG >>67713514 (OP) # >whos your idol >Augusto Pinochet

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Anon admires Hank Hill | /r/Greentext


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xue xue hua piao piao bei feng xiao xiao | /r/Greentext


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Anon stands up | /r/Greentext

File: image.jpg (37 KB, 405x509) >be me in high school >walk into class and sit next to girl >she's handicapped and in a wheelchair >she's also a smartass >pull out chemistry homework >get stuck on the first question >"hey, can you help me with this?" >ignored >ask again >she does it but is an ass about it >she says, "this is the easiest thing i've done all day" >p----- jpg >the intercom tuns on for the pledges >everyone stands >the bitch is still in her wheelchair >time to give her what she deserves >bend down and tell her "this is the easiest thing l've done all day"
File: image.jpg (37 KB, 405x509) >be me in high school >walk into class and sit next to girl >she's handicapped and in a wheelchair >she's also a smartass >pull out chemistry homework >get stuck on the first question >"hey, can you help me with this?" >ignored >ask again >she does it but is an ass about it >she says, "this is the easiest thing i've done all day" >p----- jpg >the intercom tuns on for the pledges >everyone stands >the bitch is still in her wheelchair >time to give her what she deserves >bend down and tell her "this is the easiest thing l've done all day"

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Glow in the dank | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)18:07:27 No.158997931 >>158997375 (OP) # >psychiatrist asks what I enjoy doing >tell him I like doing "image edits" >he asks if I ever post them >I tell him I do and that they're used by other 13 KB PNG people and potentially seen millions of times but it's all posted anonymously >he gets really interested and asks to see >show him over 100 original pepe edits >he says he's seen the character before >next session >him and 2 other psychiatrists are in the room, says he invited them to help me >they ask more about my memes >show them my greentexts which were reposted by redditors and got tens of thousands, up to millions of views >show them my original memes that have "know your meme" pages or big online presences >they're recording me and taking notes the whole time through >get uncomfortable and don't book a follow-up appointment >doctor has offered to cover all further sessions and meet with me 3 times a week as a "case study"
: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)18:07:27 No.158997931 >>158997375 (OP) # >psychiatrist asks what I enjoy doing >tell him I like doing "image edits" >he asks if I ever post them >I tell him I do and that they're used by other 13 KB PNG people and potentially seen millions of times but it's all posted anonymously >he gets really interested and asks to see >show him over 100 original pepe edits >he says he's seen the character before >next session >him and 2 other psychiatrists are in the room, says he invited them to help me >they ask more about my memes >show them my greentexts which were reposted by redditors and got tens of thousands, up to millions of views >show them my original memes that have "know your meme" pages or big online presences >they're recording me and taking notes the whole time through >get uncomfortable and don't book a follow-up appointment >doctor has offered to cover all further sessions and meet with me 3 times a week as a "case study"

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Anon wipes too fast | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)00:56:29 No.874068891 >driving in the rain >notice my wipers are on a higher speed than those of other drivers >worried they think I'm retarded Does anyone else do this 103 KB PNG
Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)00:56:29 No.874068891 >driving in the rain >notice my wipers are on a higher speed than those of other drivers >worried they think I'm retarded Does anyone else do this 103 KB PNG

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Anon takes psychedelics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 8KISAUH7 03/09/22(Wed)06:24:56 No.366139710 >take psychedelics >realise life is about love and not work nor politics >go to visit family, have to fill up car >$5 a gallon F------ Biden 480 KB PNG 22 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: 8KISAUH7 03/09/22(Wed)06:24:56 No.366139710 >take psychedelics >realise life is about love and not work nor politics >go to visit family, have to fill up car >$5 a gallon F------ Biden 480 KB PNG 22 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon is not a mathematician | /r/Greentext

>be me, 7yo im gunna lose it >math class >"alright class, can you solve 25-20 ?" >raise hand >"yes anon ?" >"it's -5 !" 17 KB JPG >teacher looks at me awkwardly >"w-well yes but you are not supposed to know that" >wat >"see class, you can't substract a number if the first number in the operation is greater than the second one, since there is nothing inferior to zero" >WAT >"but teach whenever I watch the weather report, when it's cold we see negative numbers !" (i'm in celsius, -1C is 30F for reference) >"yes but you're supposed to learn that later" >"but I know it now" >"it's just for this lesson, don't worry, just write it down" >"why would I write something false ?" >start throwing a tantrum because even tho i'm right, i'm also f------ seven >get a note in my notebook for bad behavior >parents confiscate my pokemon cards >can't make a stance for myself because I can't argue without crying it's been 15 years and I still remember it. 4 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)20:10:24 No.67713155 >>67713133 (OP) # >alright class, can you solve 25-20 ? >it's -5 ! absolute retard.
>be me, 7yo im gunna lose it >math class >"alright class, can you solve 25-20 ?" >raise hand >"yes anon ?" >"it's -5 !" 17 KB JPG >teacher looks at me awkwardly >"w-well yes but you are not supposed to know that" >wat >"see class, you can't substract a number if the first number in the operation is greater than the second one, since there is nothing inferior to zero" >WAT >"but teach whenever I watch the weather report, when it's cold we see negative numbers !" (i'm in celsius, -1C is 30F for reference) >"yes but you're supposed to learn that later" >"but I know it now" >"it's just for this lesson, don't worry, just write it down" >"why would I write something false ?" >start throwing a tantrum because even tho i'm right, i'm also f------ seven >get a note in my notebook for bad behavior >parents confiscate my pokemon cards >can't make a stance for myself because I can't argue without crying it's been 15 years and I still remember it. 4 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)20:10:24 No.67713155 >>67713133 (OP) # >alright class, can you solve 25-20 ? >it's -5 ! absolute retard.

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Anon is special | /r/Greentext


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Anon's an e-girl | /r/Greentext

>be me >be bored >create fake profile as a 15 year old girl >use photos of myself dressed as a trap >lure pedos > TCAP. exe >one of them actually falls in love with my pics > calls me his "pretty lady" >idea. mp3 Well daddy the why don't you send your pretty lady some cash through pay pal so i can send u more pics >he complies >mfw he sends 50 bucks >mfw im an e girl
>be me >be bored >create fake profile as a 15 year old girl >use photos of myself dressed as a trap >lure pedos > TCAP. exe >one of them actually falls in love with my pics > calls me his "pretty lady" >idea. mp3 Well daddy the why don't you send your pretty lady some cash through pay pal so i can send u more pics >he complies >mfw he sends 50 bucks >mfw im an e girl

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>1000 hours on 4chan >not recommended | /r/Greentext

File: hqdefault jpg (10 KB, 480x360) O Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:55:32 >>442641520 >>442641738 >>442641745 >>4421 >1000-3000 hours on record >not recommended Not Recommended 2,343.0 hrs on record Why do people do this? Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:56 12 Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09 56: 16 Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:56 >>442640492 (OP) >1000-3000 hours on heroin >not recommended > Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09 57:08 No 442640595 > Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:57:09 No 442640597 >> Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:57:36 No.442640620 Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:57:40 No.442640627 Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09 57:57 No.442640639 >442640960 >>442642330 I lived for 30 years and i would not recommend living
File: hqdefault jpg (10 KB, 480x360) O Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:55:32 >>442641520 >>442641738 >>442641745 >>4421 >1000-3000 hours on record >not recommended Not Recommended 2,343.0 hrs on record Why do people do this? Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:56 12 Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09 56: 16 Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:56 >>442640492 (OP) >1000-3000 hours on heroin >not recommended > Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09 57:08 No 442640595 > Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:57:09 No 442640597 >> Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:57:36 No.442640620 Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09:57:40 No.442640627 Anonymous 12/12/18(Wed)09 57:57 No.442640639 >442640960 >>442642330 I lived for 30 years and i would not recommend living

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Anon is a burger flipper. | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets older | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)00:09:00 No.874066931 >be me 22 years old a few years ago >had sex a few times with 18-19 y/o sluts >had been wanting to get married now that I had sex >don't wanna f--- sluts anymore >now I don't want casual sex, just marriage >now Im 27 13 KB JPG >see some of my friends got married >they invite me to their house >see their roastie wives that let themselves go or become roastie looking >they're 26-29 and already look like they're in their late 30's >imagine myself having the same roastie wife for the rest of my life >get disgusted >don't want to get married or even have sex anymore >l'm quenched Now what do I do?
Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)00:09:00 No.874066931 >be me 22 years old a few years ago >had sex a few times with 18-19 y/o sluts >had been wanting to get married now that I had sex >don't wanna f--- sluts anymore >now I don't want casual sex, just marriage >now Im 27 13 KB JPG >see some of my friends got married >they invite me to their house >see their roastie wives that let themselves go or become roastie looking >they're 26-29 and already look like they're in their late 30's >imagine myself having the same roastie wife for the rest of my life >get disgusted >don't want to get married or even have sex anymore >l'm quenched Now what do I do?

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Anon cannot commit | /r/Greentext

>>48408831 # My great uncle, uncle, cousin, and dad all killed themselves with the same .22 revolver and another uncle was shot and paralyzed with it while playing with it as a kid. The kid that accidentally shot him was so terrified of what his dad would do when he found out he went home and hung himself with a belt. My brother and me both wanted it but the police released it to our stepmom and she won't give it up. >tfw l'll never be able to kill myself with the family suicide gun >>48409514 # >>48409556 # >>48409648 # >>48409926 # >>48409998 # >>48410321 # >>48410548 # >>48410605 # >>48410685 # >>48412747 # >>48415294 #
>>48408831 # My great uncle, uncle, cousin, and dad all killed themselves with the same .22 revolver and another uncle was shot and paralyzed with it while playing with it as a kid. The kid that accidentally shot him was so terrified of what his dad would do when he found out he went home and hung himself with a belt. My brother and me both wanted it but the police released it to our stepmom and she won't give it up. >tfw l'll never be able to kill myself with the family suicide gun >>48409514 # >>48409556 # >>48409648 # >>48409926 # >>48409998 # >>48410321 # >>48410548 # >>48410605 # >>48410685 # >>48412747 # >>48415294 #

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Anon is a redditor | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)01:08:40 No.874069421 >find r/greentext on Reddit >think it's funny >wanna check out 4chan >go to /b/ >mfw it's all p--- >literally nothing other than p--- >what the f--- 60 KB GIF
Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)01:08:40 No.874069421 >find r/greentext on Reddit >think it's funny >wanna check out 4chan >go to /b/ >mfw it's all p--- >literally nothing other than p--- >what the f--- 60 KB GIF

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Anon just wants to play | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)00:18:06 No.24783730 >be me (m,23) >An old friend I haven't seen in two years hits me up >quite effeminate, give a few years and he will come out as trans l bet >Meet at a Hipster Café >He tells me that he is vegan now and he got into knitting 90 KB JPG >Blur out "Haha pretty fembrained" >looks at me in confusion >Asks me with the most forced smile "Anon, what are you talking about" >Explain him what based,fembrained, seethe and cope mean >Changes subject >"Anon you know my friend makes fun of me cause I have small soft hands, lets compare them!" >Touches my hand >"Haha your hands are so big and rough" >Look at him "Ye they are, cope and seethe lol" >Skip to night time >"Today was fun anon, I just moved to this City a few months ago, would you mind tag along and show me how I get home from this Café?" >"Na, bro, wanted to play EldenRing the whole day, just take the tram" Come home realise what I did, am I actually autistic?
: Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)00:18:06 No.24783730 >be me (m,23) >An old friend I haven't seen in two years hits me up >quite effeminate, give a few years and he will come out as trans l bet >Meet at a Hipster Café >He tells me that he is vegan now and he got into knitting 90 KB JPG >Blur out "Haha pretty fembrained" >looks at me in confusion >Asks me with the most forced smile "Anon, what are you talking about" >Explain him what based,fembrained, seethe and cope mean >Changes subject >"Anon you know my friend makes fun of me cause I have small soft hands, lets compare them!" >Touches my hand >"Haha your hands are so big and rough" >Look at him "Ye they are, cope and seethe lol" >Skip to night time >"Today was fun anon, I just moved to this City a few months ago, would you mind tag along and show me how I get home from this Café?" >"Na, bro, wanted to play EldenRing the whole day, just take the tram" Come home realise what I did, am I actually autistic?

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Anon knows a conman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/22(Fri)06:14:02 No.45788431 >artist who I f------ know is Brazilian changes his location to Ukraine >opens "emergency" commissions >gets flooded with work M----------- >>45788448 # >>45788531 # >>45788538 # >>45788552 #
: Anonymous 02/25/22(Fri)06:14:02 No.45788431 >artist who I f------ know is Brazilian changes his location to Ukraine >opens "emergency" commissions >gets flooded with work M----------- >>45788448 # >>45788531 # >>45788538 # >>45788552 #

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